[reflections] on Seven Days in Utopia

I was recommended by a friend to watch the movie, Seven Days in Utopia, and did so during my recovery after surgery...here are my reflections on this movie:

Why do you do the things you do?  The first step is to find conviction.  Every champion has convictions.  But perennial champions have convictions based on foundations.  The foundations become his first line of defense when facing adversity.

Rhythm.  Balance.  Patience.  That is what you need to stay in your game.  Focus on the feel, rather than the outcome.  It takes emotional control.  Keep your emotions in check.

If you are going to play like a professional, you have to act like one.

I have respect for tradition, but a passion for the truth.

You have to be ready for the unexpected.

SFT = See it Feel it Trust it.

What do you want people to say about you when you're gone?  It will say something. 

You're coming here wasn't an accident.  Only you can decide what to do from here on out.

Don't Thank Me...Thank Him.  There is a still small voice in each of us, if you listen.  God is leading us, talking to us.  You can see God's face, feel His presence, trust His love.

Life is Life is about Faith.  Relationships.  Character.  Integrity.  God has a purpose and calling for you.  These truths are your heartbeat...foundation of life.  Take the truths with you.  Bury the lies.  Lies of your true identity, your self worth, and failures.  In our culture, a high premium is placed on success, achievement and performance.  What controls your life?

Gifts are meant to be passed along.

Utopia a place of mythical perfection.  Utopia is indeed real. It is a place where the voice of truth resides.  

Does it really matter?  How can a game have such an effect on a mans soul?


Additional thoughts from www.didhemaketheputt.com:

Are you looking for more in your life?

A world obsessed from putting people on a pedestal.  No one was made for a pedestal, the weight of glory was reserved for One.  I am a child of the one who is the greatest Champion.  Be a revolutionary.

Never follow tradition for tradition's sake.  Follow the One Voice of Truth.

I don't play for acceptance.  Excellence is my coach.

When you walk in your purpose, a trophy pales in comparison to the fruit of your wake.

first walk after surgery!

I have been itching to go for a walk...my normal routine is 1.5 miles to 3 miles each morning.  Not having done this in over a week, I was anxious to go for a stroll.  Yes, a stroll because I know I do not have the stamina for my normal fast pace near jog.  

Walking puts a strain on your stomach.  Each step makes you feel the movement in your belly.  Normally, this would be nothing, but after abdominal surgery, it is huge!  I decided to go for it.  I walked 5 houses down, then 6.  I decided to do all 10 to the end of the block and return.  Several were concerned this would be too much for me, but I wanted to do it.  I wanted to try.  The sky was bright blue with sun and crisp green from the horrific rain we had last night.  As I neared the house upon my return, I knew that this took a lot of energy, but the accomplishment was worth the effort!  I look forward to building my strength to the normal daily walk routine, but know it will take time.  Today was one step towards that goal.

When I arrived back home, I went and sprawled out on the patio furniture in the backyard by the pool...exposing my incisions to the intense sun for some Vitamin D treatment.  After a spell, I just let the heat penetrate through my black clothes, the warmth on my belly and legs felt wonderful!  I so want to take care of myself to heal completely and I truly hope things continue to show signs of little bits of improvements daily as I believe I have seen the last few days.  The pain in my right leg did not lessen after this and I plan on contacting the doctor tomorrow.  It has been 3 days, something is not right, but I don't want to be alarmed, just observant, watchful and take precautions.

change of pace

This change of pace has actually been good for me!  I am actually enjoying doing a bunch of nothing and resting, with some good sleep!

[God is]

continued improvement since Surgery

I have had continued improvement since Surgery.

I ate a thick slice of Banana Bread toasted with Cream Cheese for breakfast and had the last bit of Vegetable Beef Stew for lunch.  Shandy is bringing me sushi for dinner and I have spent the day knitting on a baby blanket.

My incisions are itching...that usually is a good sign of healing.  My knee and underside of my knee still hurts, however there is no pink tones today along with no swelling.  I think sleeping with it propped up on a Euro Pillow last night was a good thing.  My bruising is continuing to be colorful.  My arm increasingly sore as the veins get used to normal.  I am treating my rashes with cream and trying not to itch them.  I laid awake for 5 hours last night, but am still getting good restful sleep when I am sleeping and for that, I am tremendously grateful!!!  You don't know how long restful sleep has not been apart of my life and to have it, is a HUGE blessing.  There has been nearly no bleeding since surgery...and you have no idea how much of a relief this is to me!!!  The pain I am now experiencing is pain I am used to living with...I have no complaints.

I actually am enjoying this change of pace and allowing my body to rest and heal!

TWO FULL NIGHTS of sleep

I am getting great rest since I have been home!!!  In fact, the first two nights, I slept all the way through other than waking up to use the bathroom a few times.  I can't tell you how grateful I am for this rest!!!

My right knee is a little swollen today, with a bit of a pinkish tint to the skin...it really hurts, deep like a headach or muscle ach.  I am concerned that I am getting a blood clot so I have walked around the house each day a few times as the doctor has ordered, however I am going to walk around on it more and try to massage it to improve it.  I don't know what else it could be other than muscle tension during surgery.  I have broken out with a rash on my chest from the EKG Monitor stickers...and on my abdomen.  Surprise!!!  I am highly allergic to adhesives no matter what I tell people, they can't get how allergic I am.  

My appetite is decent, enough but not like normal however I am not going and doing like my body is used to...and just eating liquids is not something I do regularly.  I have had some great fresh made juicies from Aunt Connie, one with beet, carrot, apple, and kale and another with carrot and orange.  Both were delicious!!!  I had pureed vegetable beef soup that Sherry made in a jar just enough for one person.  She also made me Banana Bread and though this is not on my diet [due to wheat and sugar that I have been avoiding for several years now], I am going to eat a piece...maybe a thick slice each day!  She also left me a pretty pot of Pink Kolancho flowers.  I got yellow Carnations and Lilly's from Judy that we put in a vase on the piano.  Jennifer brought a cute little vase of white Alstremeria and left it on the front porch for me.  

flowers from Jennifer

One of my strategic business partners, Anil, sent me a bouquet of cookies with a message:  Pace yourself...get well soon and a snail to remind me to go go slow!  

Pace Yourself...cookies from Anil {and Pat & Beth] w/EMR Remedies

Aunt Connie went home last night.  I am doing remarkably well I think for what I could be experiencing.  I believe there are several contributing factors in this:

• I had a good surgeon
• I was on a liquid diet before and after my surgery that can only help the digestive system heal and not contribute to swelling
• I have been taking lots of Arnica along with a dietary supplement for healing and an Homeopathic combination for healing
• I have gotten some good rest and sleep at home

I fixed myself scrambled eggs for breakfast and had a good cup of Mint Green Tea with honey and cream.  I will have Tomato Soup for lunch with Kettle Corn Popcorn.  Jennifer is coming later to visit and bring me some Arnica Gel that I want to apply to my belly and lower back, along with a prescription.  Jackie is going to bring me dinner, BBQ Chicken with mashed potatoes...which sounds yummy!  I am going to try to sit up in the chair today, maybe even knit some and not just lounge on the sofa.

Day after Surgery

I didn't sleep much that night...about 2.5 hours.  The Nursing Team came in every hour to check my vitals.  When she told me they were going to do this, I couldn't help but ask her, "Seriously?  You have left me alone the bulk of the day but now you are going to come in every hour of the night?"  What common sense is there in that?  

Everything I asked for to eat to try to settle my stomach, they didn't have.  Applesauce?  No.  Yogurt?  Nope.  They had pudding though.  Or Jello.  Or Oreo's.  Really?  None of that sounded remotely good!  I don't eat that kind of food full of sugar.  I opted for Cranberry Juice, Saltine Crackers, Apple Juice and Graham Crackers.  

Periodically, the nurses would have to come in as my IV would go off beeping for no reason, at least I thought no reason.  Evidently when it wasn't flowing, it would alert them of this, and they assumed it was kinked somewhere and would come and stretch it all out.

I had the funkiest bed...it truly had a mind of its own!  I used the buttons to maneuver it up and down to assist me with getting up and out easier, to put less of an impact on my belly, but once I had it set, it would pause and then move some more, here and there.  It was forever altering the lower end of the bed from my knees to my feet and it was like it tried to contour to my upper body.  My Nurse Tammy, said it has to do with your weight and position on the bed, it will adjust itself to you.  Believe me, it was strange!  It would even do this when I would get up from the bed or when I crawled back in.  It is hard to describe, but it was strange.

It seemed like every hour I had to go to the bathroom.  It was hard to tell if the pressure I was feeling was from my bladder or just from my swollen belly.  As one who drinks a lot of water and is used to no complications in going the bathroom in a steady stream, this was a pain to have to be patient with dribbles!  I always had to buzz a nurse to come assist me as I was hooked up to the IV and Pain Medicine line along with an O2 Stat Meter and the inflatable boots on my legs.  What they were were these plastic boots that were Velcroed around each leg from the ankle to above the knee with tubes connected to them to inflate them to the point my legs got squeezed very tight and then deflate them every 30 seconds or so.  Just as soon as it was done with one leg, it did the other and then back again.  I realize this is to assist with blood flow and prevent blood clots, but it was so not something I am used to and was very disturbing to try to rest.  So as you can see, there was no option for me to go to the bathroom on my own.  At 5am, the nurses came and took my pain medicine unit away as it kept beeping that it was empty.  Between all this commotion all night, you can see that getting any sleep wasn't happening!

Robb came in a little after 7am to see how I was.  I don't remember being checked on by my anesthesiologist before following surgery, but maybe I have.  I let him know that I had a hard time with nausea until about 2am and was disappointed they didn't put a patch behind my ear as they had said they would as this was something you wear for 72 hours and helps with the nausea even after you go home.  I think that me letting him know that took him by surprise because his face reflected that they obviously forgot that.  I tried to warn them what I am like and though I didn't throw up this time, it would have been nice to not have to have dealt with that all day!

Dr. McWherter came in to see me about 08:15am.  He said that contrary to how I was feeling, he felt that things couldn't have gone better. He removed everything successfully and said he wasn't going to say the word [endometriosis] but he got rid of all the brown powder lesions and fresh looking lesions to oblivion.  He told me that I had it everywhere!    All over the remaining organs in my body.  [He had told Aunt Connie the day before that I had more mess inside then he has seen for someone my age.]  You might not understand this, but I am anxious to see pictures. I have had pictures of each surgery and seeing the results of what you have been dealing with is a relief.  He has tweaked a few things regarding my postoperative alternative medication treatment plan that we were going to discontinue because of his findings.  He looked at my 4 incisions and gave me some postoperative instructions.  He then asked if I wanted to go home, and I said yes, if he felt I could.  I told him that I know wanting to go home yesterday was a bit ambitious, but that I was ready to go today!  I have spent 32 hours in this place and I want rest and quiet!!!  

He ordered me a Bland Breakfast:

• Chicken Broth
• Coffee, no sugar or cream
• Apple Juice
• Grape Popsicle
• Lemon Jello

I have never had Chicken Broth for breakfast...and yes, I ate it all.  I couldn't do the coffee.  I drank my apple juice and ate my Popsicle.  I ate one cube of lemon jello, but just couldn't do it.  

I am grateful for his skill and work he did on my behalf...I am truly hoping I will feel like an all NEW Woman!

I was discharged and left the hospital about 01:15pm and instructed to have a liquid diet for the next two days.  The drive home exhausted me...I felt like things were either flying by me or going by really slow.  I was very nauseous.  I came home and crawled straight in bed.  No place like your own bed!!!

Aunt Connie is going to spend the first 24 hours with me at home.  Here is hoping that my recovery goes well and that I don't have any complications.

flowers to wish me off well!

Sylvia & Sandra gave me these flowers the night before my surgery.  I put them in my bedroom so that when I got home from the hospital, I would have something pretty to smell and wake up to!

Flowers from Sylvia & Sandra

The photo was take a week after surgery, so the Lilly's have bloomed out so much more than they were originally.  The picture doesn't do a good job on the coloring, but I tried it in several lighting's and this was the best!  

Flowers always remind me of life, one that can be fragrant, vivid, bright, refreshing, transforming, and encouraging!

Surgery

Today was my surgery for a complete hysterectomy along with treatment of my endometriosis.  

We arrived at 5am, were the second in line, to a busy Patient Checkin Center.  We waited in the waiting room until 5.45am when we were called back to go to the 2nd floor and I was stuck in my room.

Wait some more.

My Nurse on the Prep floor was Hope.  They made me use an antiseptic prep on my skin, which had me very nervous to use and I wondered if I would itch as the prewash you have to do the night before surgery and morning surgery of made me itch all night!!!  I tell people how allergic I am and its like they don't believe me.  I actually skipped the application on the morning of and just rinsed with water.  It wasn't too bad but even though the package was heated up, it made me cold!  Now to the fun part of getting down to your birthday suit and into a flimsy gown with funky socks!  Nothing like making you feel like a nobody.  She attempted to put an IV in my left arm, midway up between the wrist and elbow and reached a valve.  I have never had an IV inserted so far up on my arm, usually they are done in my upper palm or inside of the wrist.  The pain from this was excruciating.  Of course Hope told me it shouldn't hurt but she clearly had reached a brick wall!  Ugh, sweet pea, it killed!  It truly makes me laugh how they don't let you eat or drink after midnight but want your veins to suddenly pop out and be working like magic when they apply an IV...totally laughable.  After a few more attempts and some work to make it flow, she got the IV working in the upper palm of my right hand.

More questions.  Take a pill with an ounce of water.  What a teaser!  I am used to drinking a full glass of water each morning after waking up, so I was feeling quite parched by this point.  Hope said, "But it was a full glass of water!"  LOL!!!

My anesthesiologist was Robb, an intern working with Dr. Gelbard.  He was nice and listened to my concerns, but I swear he talked way faster than me and you all think I talk fast!!!  No, I had not had any medicines yet and was thinking very clearly...even Aunt Connie thought so.

Then it was time to put my hair up in the cap.  Hope, my Nurse made a comment:  I bet you are one of those people who wish you had straight hair.  I said, Actually no, I love my hair!  But you are right, it seems if people have curly, they want it straight and if they have straight they want it curly.

Then Dr. McWherter came in.  He was so funny...said he brought the cookies I had sent with him to have a snack after surgery.  We had to wait for the lab to complete my pregnancy test.  This was a joke...Dr. McWherter told the Nurse that the only way that would be positive is if there were lights in the Eastern Sky.  It was funny.  Once those negative results came in, they wheeled me off down the hallway to the surgical room.

Boy was the room cold!  Move me from one bed to another and put an oxygen mask on...not too much later, I don't remember anything.  Another first!  I am used to them watching me and waiting for me, it always seems like they are impatient when they are looking down at me, for me to go out.

The next time I woke up, I was in recovery.  I asked the Nurse what time it was and she said 10.30am.  The pain was horrific.  The nausea like waves trying to sink me.  Oh, no matter how much you try to prepare for this, it is overwhelming and miserable!  

The next time after that that I was conscious, I was in my room.  My Nurse on this floor was Tammy during the day and Charlotte at night.  They left me alone pretty much the rest of the day.  Aunt Connie tried to help me by pressing the button for more pain medication to be released as it was a self administered unit that you could press approximately every 7-10minutes...I sensed the nurse clearly did not like this.  Aunt Connie was simply trying to help as if I dosed off, I would wake up in extreme pain and it was so much harder to get under control.  I am not sure why they don't just do a drip and regulated dosage for awhile while you try to adjust to the procedure and pain you are experiencing.  Starting me off at managing my own dosage didn't seem to make much sense to me.  The rest of the day I fought with extreme pain and nausea and they decided I could not go home.  About 6pmCST, they finally gave me some Toradol along with the Morphine to cut the pain and brought me my Bland Dinner about 7pm:

• Chicken Broth
• Iced Tea
• Cranberry Juice
• Grape Popsicle
• Orange Jello

I could only attempt half of the Chicken Broth, drank the Cranberry Juice and ate the Grape Popsicle.  The Chicken Broth was not very flavorful and didn't help me with my nausea.  I did finally get relief from the nausea until about 2am when they gave me a 2nd dose of Phenergan as Zofran wasn't cutting it.  I am grateful that I never threw up, but the gagging like I was going to was just as bad as I remembered!!!

Thank You for being Prayer Warriors

Thank You for being Prayer Warriors on my behalf!  It is greatly appreciated!!!

The Big Day is here!

Today is The Big Day.  Today, my life will change.  I am having a complete hysterectomy to put an end to this endometriosis and mess I have dealt with since I was 10 years old!

Aunt Connie is taking me into the hospital, Texas Health Resources / Harris Downtown.  I must arrive at 5am.  I am the first surgery of the day and surgery is scheduled for 07:15am.  I am most definitely ready for this, though I am a little bit anxious, I feel calm about what is to happen and hopeful that I don't have a rough experience like I have before with surgeries, but honestly am not expecting it to be a piece of cake.

I am hopeful that this is going to be the beginning of feeling LOTS better!!!

the storm is worse before the calm...

The storm always gets worse before the calm, right? 

Today is my 3rd day no medication. No sustaining food...liquid diet all day.  Nothing like making me wish for The Big Day to get here more than I already am!

I am drained...both emotionally and physically.  I have been working feverishly for my big day tomorrow.  I am exhausted.  Lack of sleep and lack of food to give me energy is all taking its toll on me.  I might be stressed and feel horrible, but I might as well look at it like I am gonna jump start the weight loss! :)  

I have done well at my todolist.  Though I don't think it will be 100% completed, all the important things have been accomplished.  I am grateful for this, this will help me to rest and take two weeks off as I have promised my doctor.

preparing for The Big Day

Today was my post operative appointment in preparation for surgery next week.  

When my doctor came in the room, he said, Misty, I am very grateful to see this day approaching.  I shouted to him, you and me both!  I told him how I was very much looking forward to surgery.  He laughed and told me to calm down and not be so loud.  I must admit I was pretty excited.  In all seriousness, he said he wasn't sure he has had a patient as excited as I am about getting this done.  He knows I have been in a lot of pain and dealt with these issues for a very long time and I have not had the best success with treatments.  He believes whole heartily that I will feel like an all new woman very soon! And I am anxious to feel that way too!!!

We discussed the necessary items to prepare for surgery and what to do.  I asked him what he was going to do if he finds endometriosis inside.  Endometriosis is not covered by my insurance and therefore there is a high chance that this surgery will not be covered.  I asked him to release me as soon as he can, even if I am not where AMA guidelines want me to be.  He clearly understood my request, but made it clear that if I vomit (as I typically do following surgery) he will have to admit me to stay over night.  I stressed the fact that I am looking at purchasing a car or another house and this the sooner I can go home, the better I am going to be!  He laughed and said, "Now don't give me angina Misty. I am liable to need some Valium before this is all done."  He got the message.  ;)

I am working feverishly, every day from when I get up to when I go to bed, to complete all tasks before surgery.  September would have been a challenging month with just a normal work flow let alone all the critical time sensitive projects we have had to complete!  Preparing to disengage for two weeks is harder than I thought it would be...

song ~ eternal one

Eternal One
by Robbie Seay Band

Praise the eternal One
Father, Spirit, Son
Our hands raised
We will praise
The eternal One
Sing praise to You our King
From our souls we sing
Our hands raised
We will praise
The eternal One, the One
Let the whole world sing
Hallelujah
Let the whole world sing
Hallelujah

You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King
You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King


Praise the God of hope
Spirit draw us close
Our hands raised
Forever praise
The God of hope
Oh praise the eternal One
Father, Spirit, Son
our hands raised
we will praise the eternal One, the One
Let the whole world sing
Hallelujah
Let the whole world sing
Hallelujah

You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King
You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King


Raise your voice now
Louder still
Let the people sing
Raise your voice
Louder still
Let the nations scream
Raise your voice louder still
Let it go, let it build
Raise your voice louder still
I sing, sing

You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King
You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King



You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King
You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King


You, You have saved us
You, You have changed us
You have set us free
Liberating King
You

song ~ Be Still

Be Still
Jeremy Ledgewood Project

And all that I have
And all that I am,
I created for you.
Just know that I can
endure all of your burdens
take the weight of the world
and put your heart to ease
one day you'll hurt no more.
So be still.

You've made your mistakes
I know that your heart it breaks
I was there with you then.
Washed away all of your sin
and know I'm the Lamb
so just take my hand
the living sacrifice
for you I died
So be still.
And know I am God
the love that you feel
it comes from my heart
I will never leave you
I'll be by your side
And I will always stay true
catch the tears when you cry
when you cry
So be still.

I am the only one you need
I am the only one you seek
I am the grace that cleans
I am the mercy you need.
So be still.
And know I am God.
The love that you feel
it comes from my heart
and I will never leave you
I'll be by your side.
And I will always stay true.
catch the tears you cry
you cry.
So be Still.
So be still.

And I will never leave you
And I'll always be by your side
I will always stay true
The look in your eyes
Tears that you cry
And I will never leave you
and I will always be your side
I will always stay true
The look in your eyes
the tears that you cry.
That you cry.
So be still.
So be still.

And know that I am God
The love that you feel
it comes from my heart.

it's in God's hands

you know how people say, "It's in God's hand now"...well let me tell you, 
it always was

appreciate the prayers

I can feel the prayers of those who are praying for me.  I appreciate them.  It is comforting to know you are seeking God on my behalf.  Please continue.

credits from your story

Soon the credits will roll in your life. How will the people in the theater feel after engaging in your story? 

Love while you have the time. 

- Donald Miller and The Art of Nonconformity (AONC)

[my spoken testimony Sept Camp 2012]

I gave a testimony yesterday at the September Camp.  I have never given one like this before, but I have had several things on my heart and felt that it was time to share.  I will share it with you, my Courageous Journey blog followers.

I have had a very tough time the last year (truly a year and seven months to be exact) and though I try to be superwoman, don't want to admit that I can't do it, and do my best to outwardly show that I am fine, I inwardly have been having a challenge beyond words.  I openly shared this.  I went on to state that most people don't know what went on in the first 20 years of my life, Jeff did not learn of much of my life until I had been here for 7 years.  When I moved here to Burleson, Texas September 1997, I was told by my parents that I was never welcome back in their home and that I would die within 2 years.  Though people mean well when they ask how I am doing, they have no clue how I desperately do not want to answer that question.  My mom was a hypochondriac and everything was about her and her sickness.  I made it clear and informed everyone that I DO NOT WANT to be like my mom.  In any form or fashion.  Not at all!  But at the same time I am having health challenges that are affecting my everyday life and I am exhausted, my mustard seed is crushed, I am discouraged and don't know how much more of this I can take.  I am aware that many don't understand.  I have tried to explain, but the depth of what I am facing is not understood.  I don't fit the box that everyone is supposed to fit into.  I am told I am too intense, too bold, too aggressive.  However, in my heart, I want to serve the Lord and be the woman He wants me to be in spite of the opinions others have about me.  It hurts beyond words when people who you have associated with all your life only come and ask you how you are doing when they see you on Sunday's.  People have whispered about me, said things behind my back: "We don't know how she is doing, we don't see her very much." Yet, nobody has taken the time to come sit on my couch and learn what is going on in my world.  I understand that many times people who are struggling, pull away and their lack of attendance can mean that they are no longer interested in this group of Christian's.  That is not where I am. I love these people, I just can't physically do it.

I know I need more faith.  I know that when my hope is placed where it should be, I have an anchor for my soul that is firm and secure [Hebrews 6:19].  When it isn't, my hope is out of balance.  When my hope is in the right place, I have the peace and joy He wants me to have [Romans 15:13] because I am trusting Him.  I know the Lord has done much for me in my life and He will do it again.  I need more faith.

I requested prayers.  I need the prayers.  I don't have the wisdom for many of the decisions I am having to make. I don't understand God's plan for my life right now.  I don't have the strength to face the challenges that keep throwing me up against a brick wall.  I am exhausted!!!

I thanked two people very involved in my life for their love and support and continued input in my life.  I need them!

I also went on to say that I didn't know want people to come up and praise me for where I have been in my life.  The only reason I am where I am today is because of the Lord Jesus Christ working in my life.  Because He has forgiven my sins and given me a new life, another chance, an opportunity to sort through my baggage and serve Him.  If you can't come to me at other times, don't come to me now that I am pleading for your prayers.  Please don't.

I have learned what it is like to have a relationship with Him and not have to cross every i and dot every t [yes, that is backwards - I wrote it that way on purpose].  Through my situation, I am learning that everything is not as you might see it with your eye.  There is much more going on behind the scenes then you know.  I want to let my own situation motivate and grow me as the Lord wants.  I want to have more compassion and love for others in their difficult times.  I want to encourage others when I may not understand what is going on in their world.  I want to be an encourager.

I have many blessings...I am working on another post in which I will list many of the things I consider my top blessings.  But in the meantime, will you pray for me?  Pray that I have Wisdom?  Courage?  Patience?  Faith? and that the challenges and trials I am facing will only make me a better shinning light for Him!

I am with you. [Always]

Life.