Today, I want to express extreme gratitude for my friends!
I love my friends.
The ones who help me do things that are too hard for me right now to do on my own. And for understanding that this is hard for me when I have always taken care of myself.
The ones who speak love into me as I walk through a rough chapter, helping me to keep my focus when I have lost the direction, motivation and determination to stay the fight.
The ones that lift a hand to do a chore that I do not have the energy for it.
The ones that speak my love languages, knowingly or unknowingly.
The ones that hug me and say I care. Be you. Keep sharing your message. I love you. You matter.
The ones that encourage me to love me and rest.
The ones who will take time to meet for coffee, breakfast, lunch, dinner, a concert, church, or stop by to say hello.
The ones who send text messages.
The ones who call and if I don't answer don't get pissed off.
The ones who understand and when they don't, seek to understand deeper because they aren't gonna loose sight of who I really am, not getting upset over one comment or post I make on Facebook.
The ones who understand the emotional and physical pain I am going through. And if they don't, who just simply say I am sorry. They aren't trying to fix me.
The ones who know that I want a deeper level of transformation.
The ones who believe in me. Maybe even more then I believe in myself.
Thank YOU for being in my Circle of Friends.
#Gratitude #GratefulHeart #HeartOfLove #CircleOfFriends
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Monday, March 20, 2017
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
4 steps to remember in Friendships
People will walk in and out of your life. People will resonate with your spirit, your personality, your energy. People will connect with you, enjoy your company, and want to be with you.
And some people won't.
I was raised to make friends with everyone. To not have cliches (pal around with one or two individuals exclusively). I was not allowed to spend more time with one person than others, even if I admired them greatly and wanted a close relationship with them. I was taught to give everyone the same attention and love, not make someone feel more important then someone else. At any point I felt rejection in a connection, I was taught to move on. To find a grandmother, a mother struggling with little kids, a little kid that needed help. And if I couldn't find that, I was told to go write someone a letter or walk alone and spend time with me.
As a child this was hard. Everyone had a Best Friend. Everyone had special people over for Slumber Parties, Birthday's and like Events. I didn't get to participate (even if I had been invited the answer would have been No). I had to learn to like the options I got in creating relationships, or I was going to be frustrated because the rules were the rules.
This has brought me a ton of friends. It has connected me to a boat load of people. It has made me able to lead Networking Groups, Facebook Groups, Bible Study Groups, do Speed Dating, Dance Lessons, Dinner Clubs, Singles Cruise, Conferences and more with the ability to bridge the gap, meet new people, connect everyone together, learn each persons story, when most people would be nervous with strangers, only talk to people they know at Events or hide. Honestly, I am not a naturally outgoing person, this has become a learned skill that I have cultivated to create connection.
Yet, this very thing that has been a huge blessing in my life has also brought deep friction in friendships when others have expectations to be my closest girlfriend or expect that when they meet me I will just make time for them all the time. It has caused those that feel I expect them to be as open and vulnerable as I am with them, back with me. It has caused some to feel jealous of the friendships I have with many people. It has made some feel I do not value their friendship because I do not call, text, write, or visit them often. It has caused some to judge both me and the people who I consider to be my friends because of how I have lived my life, trying to be a ripple effect in my circle of friends.
There are four things that help me work through this when it happens and I want to share it with you in case you have challenges in your relationships.
1. Those that want to spend time with you will. Those that really value your relationship will make it work, even when you live out of state. Those that want to learn what it takes to have a relationship with you will ask. We all get busy. We sometimes have to say I am sorry, things have been chaotic, complicated, and my schedule hasn't had time, but I would like to make time in a week or so, what do you have available? If someone keeps making excuses, it probably is not that important to them or there is something else in their life that is getting their focus and creating relationships isn't one of the top 10 things in their life. When we really consider the relationship to be important, we will put it on our calendar. Cultivate deeper connections with those that make time for you. Let those that don't run around living their life and let them join you when they are ready, if they ever are, and don't judge them.
2. Sometimes this means we will have to be the one to uncover what their expectations are in the relationship. This means asking them what their Love Languages are (yes, this applies to friends too not just romantic relationships, in fact I make my employees take this test during their hiring process because it helps the work relationship too). It takes asking what do they need from the relationship to feel connected and to let them know that they matter. If you are not aware the relationship is extremely important to them, whether that is in phone calls, face to face time, or letters, how can you change? Figure this out. Put effort into it, even if they don't, to do your part. Seek to understand before you are understood.
3. Relationships goes through phases. Just as each one of my Counselors / Mentors / Coaches have been a huge part of my life, they have had Chapters. I do not necessary keep in touch with, follow, or read everything they write now because I am working with a new Coach. Does that mean they don't matter to me? Or I don't like their content? It doesn't necessarily mean that. I may have grown beyond what some of them teach. I may not connect with them the same way I did when I was going through a previous Chapter, or I may just need a new perspective from someone new. Someone who doesn't have all the back history that can see something differently then I can. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut in a relationship and need to be challenged further. Sometimes some people have a limit on how far they can grow us.
Relationships can be the same way. Some will feed you for a time. Some will add value for a Chapter. Some aren't meant to be in your life for a long period of time. Some need to be taken away so that you will grow the way you need to because if they stayed in your life, it would stunt your growth. Honor, respect, appreciate, love and have fond memories of the part this person played in your life. If you wanted them in your life longer then they were, let them know. Don't harbor this. If they don't want you on the same level, release expectations and allow them to pursue their own journey. I promise, God will bring someone else in their place. You might not see now why they have been removed, but in time, it becomes clear. It doesn't mean it won't hurt, but if you focus on the good memories, it will help you to heal and let go.
4. Sometimes things are going on behind the scenes that even a very close person knows nothing about. Sometimes the individual will build walls, become reclusive, quiet, shut you out, not because of you but because life itself has gotten so hard that they are fearful. Or maybe they are just trying to live today and to make time for you would send them over the edge. Believe the person is being honest with you when you ask if you have done something to cause harm in the relationship. Ask how you can support them. Ask if there is anything you need to know so you can pray for them. Ask, don't assume. Don't build a story. Get the facts. Don't rely on what someone else tells you is going on in their life. Connect and inquire to learn for your own good, not to share or gossip with others, but to assist the relationship. This will create trust. Connection. Vulnerability. Authenticity. And add lots of value to the relationship.
I've had to remind myself of these things with a situation that happened the weekend after my birthday. I promise relationships are worth it, even if they seem complicated at times. Step forward and be vulnerable and love, unconditionally. Treat someone else the way you want to be treated, even when they are rude, angry, say hurtful things, or don't respond to getting together with you like you want them to. 99% of the time, it isn't about you, it is stuff they have going on in their own life. Just love.
#TheSassyVoice #RelationshipsMatter #ShareInEachOthersLives #CircleOfFriends #SeekToUnderstand #LoveOnPurpose
And some people won't.
I was raised to make friends with everyone. To not have cliches (pal around with one or two individuals exclusively). I was not allowed to spend more time with one person than others, even if I admired them greatly and wanted a close relationship with them. I was taught to give everyone the same attention and love, not make someone feel more important then someone else. At any point I felt rejection in a connection, I was taught to move on. To find a grandmother, a mother struggling with little kids, a little kid that needed help. And if I couldn't find that, I was told to go write someone a letter or walk alone and spend time with me.
As a child this was hard. Everyone had a Best Friend. Everyone had special people over for Slumber Parties, Birthday's and like Events. I didn't get to participate (even if I had been invited the answer would have been No). I had to learn to like the options I got in creating relationships, or I was going to be frustrated because the rules were the rules.
This has brought me a ton of friends. It has connected me to a boat load of people. It has made me able to lead Networking Groups, Facebook Groups, Bible Study Groups, do Speed Dating, Dance Lessons, Dinner Clubs, Singles Cruise, Conferences and more with the ability to bridge the gap, meet new people, connect everyone together, learn each persons story, when most people would be nervous with strangers, only talk to people they know at Events or hide. Honestly, I am not a naturally outgoing person, this has become a learned skill that I have cultivated to create connection.
Yet, this very thing that has been a huge blessing in my life has also brought deep friction in friendships when others have expectations to be my closest girlfriend or expect that when they meet me I will just make time for them all the time. It has caused those that feel I expect them to be as open and vulnerable as I am with them, back with me. It has caused some to feel jealous of the friendships I have with many people. It has made some feel I do not value their friendship because I do not call, text, write, or visit them often. It has caused some to judge both me and the people who I consider to be my friends because of how I have lived my life, trying to be a ripple effect in my circle of friends.
There are four things that help me work through this when it happens and I want to share it with you in case you have challenges in your relationships.
1. Those that want to spend time with you will. Those that really value your relationship will make it work, even when you live out of state. Those that want to learn what it takes to have a relationship with you will ask. We all get busy. We sometimes have to say I am sorry, things have been chaotic, complicated, and my schedule hasn't had time, but I would like to make time in a week or so, what do you have available? If someone keeps making excuses, it probably is not that important to them or there is something else in their life that is getting their focus and creating relationships isn't one of the top 10 things in their life. When we really consider the relationship to be important, we will put it on our calendar. Cultivate deeper connections with those that make time for you. Let those that don't run around living their life and let them join you when they are ready, if they ever are, and don't judge them.
2. Sometimes this means we will have to be the one to uncover what their expectations are in the relationship. This means asking them what their Love Languages are (yes, this applies to friends too not just romantic relationships, in fact I make my employees take this test during their hiring process because it helps the work relationship too). It takes asking what do they need from the relationship to feel connected and to let them know that they matter. If you are not aware the relationship is extremely important to them, whether that is in phone calls, face to face time, or letters, how can you change? Figure this out. Put effort into it, even if they don't, to do your part. Seek to understand before you are understood.
3. Relationships goes through phases. Just as each one of my Counselors / Mentors / Coaches have been a huge part of my life, they have had Chapters. I do not necessary keep in touch with, follow, or read everything they write now because I am working with a new Coach. Does that mean they don't matter to me? Or I don't like their content? It doesn't necessarily mean that. I may have grown beyond what some of them teach. I may not connect with them the same way I did when I was going through a previous Chapter, or I may just need a new perspective from someone new. Someone who doesn't have all the back history that can see something differently then I can. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut in a relationship and need to be challenged further. Sometimes some people have a limit on how far they can grow us.
Relationships can be the same way. Some will feed you for a time. Some will add value for a Chapter. Some aren't meant to be in your life for a long period of time. Some need to be taken away so that you will grow the way you need to because if they stayed in your life, it would stunt your growth. Honor, respect, appreciate, love and have fond memories of the part this person played in your life. If you wanted them in your life longer then they were, let them know. Don't harbor this. If they don't want you on the same level, release expectations and allow them to pursue their own journey. I promise, God will bring someone else in their place. You might not see now why they have been removed, but in time, it becomes clear. It doesn't mean it won't hurt, but if you focus on the good memories, it will help you to heal and let go.
4. Sometimes things are going on behind the scenes that even a very close person knows nothing about. Sometimes the individual will build walls, become reclusive, quiet, shut you out, not because of you but because life itself has gotten so hard that they are fearful. Or maybe they are just trying to live today and to make time for you would send them over the edge. Believe the person is being honest with you when you ask if you have done something to cause harm in the relationship. Ask how you can support them. Ask if there is anything you need to know so you can pray for them. Ask, don't assume. Don't build a story. Get the facts. Don't rely on what someone else tells you is going on in their life. Connect and inquire to learn for your own good, not to share or gossip with others, but to assist the relationship. This will create trust. Connection. Vulnerability. Authenticity. And add lots of value to the relationship.
I've had to remind myself of these things with a situation that happened the weekend after my birthday. I promise relationships are worth it, even if they seem complicated at times. Step forward and be vulnerable and love, unconditionally. Treat someone else the way you want to be treated, even when they are rude, angry, say hurtful things, or don't respond to getting together with you like you want them to. 99% of the time, it isn't about you, it is stuff they have going on in their own life. Just love.
#TheSassyVoice #RelationshipsMatter #ShareInEachOthersLives #CircleOfFriends #SeekToUnderstand #LoveOnPurpose
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
be an overcomer in dark ugly days
When life squeezes you deeper then you have ever been squeezed...When it sucks all the juice of life out of you...When it leaves no air to filter through your lungs...When it punctures your heart and makes it bleed open again, a wound that still hurts to the touch...When salt is added to an existing wound...
Then what? Is it okay to pray: Really Jesus, how much more do you think I can take?
Yesterday was one of those days for me.
And I did just that.
An unexpected medical diagnosis that has set me back leaps and bounds. Pain. Frustration. Tears. Intentional methods applied to regroup and get on with my day. Conference Calls. Meetings. Paperwork. Then off to a first time Consultation Meeting with a Litigation Attorney to discuss my testimony in a clients lawsuit with a court date set for February 22nd. As if those two things in and of themselves weren't enough, I got the reminder of two close girlfriends who've turned their backs on me and shut me out. One through a picture on Facebook of a girlfriend that is very dearly loved celebrating a very special chapter in her life that I am missing out on, but not by my choice. The second, when I went out for my weekly date night alone, my closest girlfriend of 18 years who asked me to never contact her again, was sitting in a booth at the same restaurant I was at.
Life is squeezing me, sucking the juice out of me, leaving me no air in my lungs, puncturing my heart open, again, adding salt to an existing wound.
I think it is okay to pray things like that to Jesus. He knows when you feel like you are coming undone. He knows we are thinking those thoughts, so why not express it? He hears my cries, through my tears and questioning why. He knows I am frustrated, so why not tell him I am? He knows I am hurting, my heart is bleeding, I am exhausted, that I don't feel I have it in me to keep fighting the good fight. I see no use in keeping it a secret.
But in the midst of your pain, what will you focus on?
It is in the times of desperation that you have to remember what is important. You have to remember the preparation you have done in previous hard challenges and trials that enables you to handle this one too. It is in these moments when you have to focus on the good things, remember the beautiful moments you had with these girlfriends and not focus on the fact that they are not in your life now. You have to renew prayers of forgiveness and say out loud "Forgive them, for they know not what they do to me". Even if they do. You have to choose to believe that they do not realize they are intentionally hurting you, again. You have to choose to ask for prayers, help, love, support and be willing to accept it from those who choose to have you in their life. By those that really are true friends. By those that give a damn what is going on with you. It is in these times that your true character will be displayed in how you show up, what you do, and how you respond. You have to remember to breathe and tell yourself that it's all going to be okay, because it is not over yet! You have to find strength to press on. To remember why you are not going to quit. You have to stay very focused. You have to choose not to loose heart. Because you are an overcomer!
Will you stand your ground? In a place where hope can be found? Do you believe that God will make all things right? Do you believe that you have the strength to make it through this too?
The only way I can vulnerably share with you how to get through dark ugly days like this that you want to obliterate off the calendar, is to walk out what I talk. The only way I can tell you it works is when I practice it in my own life and see for myself that it works. The only way I can encourage you is if I encourage myself.
We each have a choice. What will yours be today?
#TheSassyVoice #BeDifferent #CreateTheLifeYouWant #ThePowerOfChoice #BeAnOvercomer
Then what? Is it okay to pray: Really Jesus, how much more do you think I can take?
Yesterday was one of those days for me.
And I did just that.
An unexpected medical diagnosis that has set me back leaps and bounds. Pain. Frustration. Tears. Intentional methods applied to regroup and get on with my day. Conference Calls. Meetings. Paperwork. Then off to a first time Consultation Meeting with a Litigation Attorney to discuss my testimony in a clients lawsuit with a court date set for February 22nd. As if those two things in and of themselves weren't enough, I got the reminder of two close girlfriends who've turned their backs on me and shut me out. One through a picture on Facebook of a girlfriend that is very dearly loved celebrating a very special chapter in her life that I am missing out on, but not by my choice. The second, when I went out for my weekly date night alone, my closest girlfriend of 18 years who asked me to never contact her again, was sitting in a booth at the same restaurant I was at.
Life is squeezing me, sucking the juice out of me, leaving me no air in my lungs, puncturing my heart open, again, adding salt to an existing wound.
I think it is okay to pray things like that to Jesus. He knows when you feel like you are coming undone. He knows we are thinking those thoughts, so why not express it? He hears my cries, through my tears and questioning why. He knows I am frustrated, so why not tell him I am? He knows I am hurting, my heart is bleeding, I am exhausted, that I don't feel I have it in me to keep fighting the good fight. I see no use in keeping it a secret.
But in the midst of your pain, what will you focus on?
It is in the times of desperation that you have to remember what is important. You have to remember the preparation you have done in previous hard challenges and trials that enables you to handle this one too. It is in these moments when you have to focus on the good things, remember the beautiful moments you had with these girlfriends and not focus on the fact that they are not in your life now. You have to renew prayers of forgiveness and say out loud "Forgive them, for they know not what they do to me". Even if they do. You have to choose to believe that they do not realize they are intentionally hurting you, again. You have to choose to ask for prayers, help, love, support and be willing to accept it from those who choose to have you in their life. By those that really are true friends. By those that give a damn what is going on with you. It is in these times that your true character will be displayed in how you show up, what you do, and how you respond. You have to remember to breathe and tell yourself that it's all going to be okay, because it is not over yet! You have to find strength to press on. To remember why you are not going to quit. You have to stay very focused. You have to choose not to loose heart. Because you are an overcomer!
Will you stand your ground? In a place where hope can be found? Do you believe that God will make all things right? Do you believe that you have the strength to make it through this too?
The only way I can vulnerably share with you how to get through dark ugly days like this that you want to obliterate off the calendar, is to walk out what I talk. The only way I can tell you it works is when I practice it in my own life and see for myself that it works. The only way I can encourage you is if I encourage myself.
We each have a choice. What will yours be today?
#TheSassyVoice #BeDifferent #CreateTheLifeYouWant #ThePowerOfChoice #BeAnOvercomer
Sunday, January 29, 2017
the reminders of love
I believe the success of our lives is increasingly going to be more and more determined by how we manage our own spirit. How we are able to keep an inner peace when the world is fighting and angry. How we will develop methods to strengthen our lives while to the detriment of our modern world, the majority are living every moment increasingly drawn to feed fear, live in anger, say they want freedom but are doing things that keep them in bondage, unable to love through differences, unwilling to see through differences and various perspectives, forgetting that at the core we are all the same, and ultimately that the only healing powers in any relationship is love.
Complete love. Full-blown love. Unconditional love. Limitless love. Remove the mask love.
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #ADifferentPerspective #ChooseLove
Complete love. Full-blown love. Unconditional love. Limitless love. Remove the mask love.
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #ADifferentPerspective #ChooseLove
Saturday, January 28, 2017
there will be people
You will have people who like your positive spirit until it infringes on their way of life. You will have people that are inspired by your story until they realize to change means they have to rewrite their story and get out of their victim mindset. You will have people that want the results you have but are not willing to do the work. You will have people who think that you are a really great person until you change in ways they no longer agree with and so they cut you out of their life to be able to deal with the fact that "you've changed". You will have people that comment and say they love you, they are proud of you, and how much they support you, and they mean it, as long as you don't ever disagree with them on anything. You will have people that won't even attempt to like you because you rub them the wrong way. You will have people that are intimidated by you. You will have people that will be jealous of you. You will have people who get offended because of things you do or say. You will have people who are upset because you are vulnerable and share so much. You will have people who don't like when you don't give details and keep things to yourself. You will have people who want you in their life as long as you provide them something that feeds their need, the minute that no longer exists, they have no use for you.
May I encourage you to love them and let them go? People who really want to live in their message and beliefs will face their own internal demons. We all have them, but it is a choice to be controlled by them or to be released from them.
Life is short. Focus on the people who add value to your life and who want to work through conflict with you. The people who will openly share when they are hurt and talk about it. The people who won't let petty things, or really even big things, stop a friendship.
The ones that are okay with building walls under a pretense of boundaries, let them. They are ultimately hurting themselves, not you. I get it is hard to see that. And I get it may hurt you deeply in the process too. I've been there, more times then I wish didn't have to remember, but I can tell you, when you focus on those around you that want you in their life, when you keep staying the course and being diligent in the areas you need to be, you will see results and it will change what matters to you. You most likely will come away with a different perspective as you will see the mask and fakeness the friendship really had because love never fails.
Remember, it all starts with love.
#TheSassyVoice #LoveOnPurpose #CircleOfFriends #RelationshipsMatter
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
yes, rejection hurts...but choose love
When I attended the Growth Summit Conference in September 2016 in San Jose, one of the things that Brendon Burchard - Live. Love. Matter. said is that we have all faced rejection. Some of us more then others. He went on to share that studies show that most people have been rejected by one or two people, usually though most have been by a few people, like a handful that could be counted on one hand. He said the studies show that the most was generally an average of 7.
Brendon then asked each of us: With 7 Billion people in the world, will you let 7 people stop you from pursuing your life? You dreams? Your vision? Your goals? Your purpose given to you by God? Will you let 7 people keep you from having love, joy, peace, happiness, gratitude, courage and hope in your life?
I wish I could say that my "list" was only 7 people of close people connected to me in my life. I wish I could say that I haven't experienced rejection, so many times, by people that say they love me and will always love me no matter what. By people who say that I was their only close friend and they were so thankful for my part in their life. By people who were the executor of my will but resigned and asked me to never contact them again. By people who were signers on my bank accounts. By people who I did volunteer work work with. By people I donated to their charity organizations to make a greater impact in the world. By people who brought me into this world. By people who were blood family. By people who wanted to be stand in family.
Like me, you may have people that remove themselves from being the a part of your life because they don't agree with how you live your life or won't accept that you wish to transform your framework and remove all negativity and replace it with positivity. You will have people who say they believe in love and being loving in all ways and through all things, but when it comes down to a direct application in a relationship between you and them, they won't be able to love. They won't love you for you. They may expect you to be someone you are not and try to mold you into the friend they want you to be. They may say that they will be there forever through all circumstances and situations, but when the tough shit happens, they will back away, walk out, leave you or give you the silent treatment. They may actually do more and attack you, slap you in the face, stab you in the back, stomp all over you, do everything to take you completely out. They may tear down everything you thought you had in your connection and the connection you have with others. They may choose to get offended over something you said that was from your own beliefs, perceptions, and feelings. They may not accept: I am sorry, I still love you, I still believe in you, I still want to work this out, I believe in healing, love and grace. They may prefer to hold onto the grudge and not forgive or give grace. They may be people who take someone else's word for what you said or did, unwilling to find out the facts or the truth directly from you, or at minimum ask questions to put pieces together. They may not be willing to discuss how it hurt you or how it hurt them. They may not ever try to see it from your perspective. They may never talk it out, resolve the conflict and just shut you out.
Yes, there are people who will come into your life and say they love you but when life gets hard, they don't, they won't, they can't. You will have people who act like love matters, but when they get to choose love, they ignore the calling. These are the facts. And yes, rejection hurts deeply, very deep. But what will you focus on? All those who have rejected you? Or the ones that need you, want you, and appreciate you? All those that don't walk the walk but talk the talk? Or find the ones that do both? All those that won't love? Or the ones that do?
These situations are similar to the Pharisees in the Bible. They said one thing but their actions said something different. We all get to choose whether we will be a Pharisee or we will be a Jesus Follower.
Misunderstandings happen. We do or say things that offend people. We hurt others. We aren't always kind. We aren't always patient. We don't always see another's perspective. We sometimes feel we can't forgive and hold a grudge. We sometimes feel that working things out isn't an option and walking away is easier. But we still always have a choice to love and repair a relationship.
The truth is: Love is loud. Love is action. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't rejection. Love isn't hurtful. Love continues through the painful things that happens and seeks to restore. Love is hope. Love will never end. Love communicates. Love doesn't defend with creating walls disguised as boundaries. Love heals all things.
#LoveOnPurpose #ChooseLove #HaveLove #LoveOneAnother#LifeLessons #RejectionHurts
Monday, December 12, 2016
the unfriended wall
Imagine if you could "unfriend" people in real life with whom you disagree just as easily as you unfriend someone on Facebook.
As a society we are finding it way too easy to "unfriend" people who disagree with us, cutting off discourse, compromise instead of finding ways to live with each other. We think we are creating boundaries, when in reality we are just making unhealthy walls.
We aren't practicing ways to show love, kindness and compassion on a foundation of grace.
When we realize that love heals everything, we will then know what it takes to have a successful life with loving relationships.
How will you show love today in a relationship that hurts?
How will you say I'm sorry in a situation that's messy?
How will you extend more grace?
How will you forgive?
How will you restore connection?
#RelationshipsMatter #LoveOnPurpose #ShareInEachOthersLives#TrueFriends
#RelationshipsMatter #LoveOnPurpose #ShareInEachOthersLives#TrueFriends
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
some people will...
Some people will accept your vulnerability, some will shun you for it.
Some will want to know your story, others will not be able to handle it.
Some will want your gifts, others will feel you are are trying to buy their relationship or their love.
Some people will love you unconditionally, others will love you conditionally.
Some people will desire a connection at all times, some will only connect with you when the relationship feeds their need.
Some will believe in you no matter if they get hurt, some will only believe in you when they agree with you and it doesn't hurt.
Some will say that they are for one another, but others will actually live out being for one another.
Some will be willing to work through anything and everything because they know every bit of conflict only brings a stronger connection, some will push you away when conflict comes because they don't want to become closer connected.
Some will say that forgiveness is important, others will live that forgiveness is important.
Some people will see things through another perspective, others will only see through their perspective.
Some will inspire you to be a better version of yourself, others will be the reason you become a better version of yourself.
Some will say they believe in love and that love never fails, some will actually love live in action and show you that love never fails.
Who will you be?
#TheSassyVoice #BeDifferent #LoveOnPurpose #ChooseLove
#TheSassyVoice #BeDifferent #LoveOnPurpose #ChooseLove
Thursday, August 11, 2016
be around people...
God tells us that bad company (family, friends, coworkers, and influences) ruins good morals (values, character, core beliefs).....
Be around people who not only act like they care, but you know they do.
Be around people who ENCOURAGE you.
Be around people who speak LIFE into you.
Be around people who challenge your thoughts and actions.
Be around people who will not just listen to you, but they HEAR you.
Most importantly, be around people who are willing to WALK with you during the hardest times in your life. It's those people who are WORTH holding onto.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
you impacted my life
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you.
You made an impact in my life. In more ways then you probably even know. You taught me new things. You gave me some wonderful experiences. I made many new friends and met some great people through you. You gave me some wonderful gifts. I will always remember your passion and enthusiasm for life and music. My gratitude for your part in my life is extensive.
Some days I don't understand what brings about the feelings, the memories, the emotional pain, and yes, sometimes even the longing for what used to be...I choose to embrace the journey, every aspect of it.
I have no regrets for allowing you into my heart. I choose to believe God has a plan. I choose to trust His work in my life in these weeks of pruning me back. Of shattering my world, both personally and in business. I choose to accept that these deep dark days when I feel lost, my heart is hurting, and nothing motivates me...except I know that God is taking me into deeper waters to increase my trust and faith as He has an even bigger plan for my life.
I will continue to seek the truth. I will focus on the things that matter. I will not give up.
You have left a hole in my heart and in my life. No matter the walls you build to keep me out, you can't take away my love because it still exists in my heart. And because of this, I pray for you every day and I will the rest of my life. I still believe #LifeIsBeautiful.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
the reality of loss
Someday you will be faced with the reality of loss. And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it will become clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence. When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss. You will never forget them.
However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news. They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound. It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character. The people you lose remain a part of you. Remember them and always cherish the good moments spent with them.
- Liam Neeson
#TellSomeoneYouLoveThem #LoveOnPurpose #HaveGratitude#IWillAlwaysLoveYou #ShareInTheLivesOfOthers
- Liam Neeson
#TellSomeoneYouLoveThem #LoveOnPurpose #HaveGratitude#IWillAlwaysLoveYou #ShareInTheLivesOfOthers
Monday, February 29, 2016
choose to connect with your friends
If you knew today was the last day you could write and tell me something, what would you say?
We never know how long someone will be a part of our life. We never know when our last opportunity to connect with them will be. When they come to mind, why do we not act on it? What would happen if we did that every time they came to mind, to stop what we were doing and send a text, an email, a Facebook message, make a phone call, send a snail mail note, or schedule a coffee date or time for a meal.
Yet we let life happen and we don't do it. Why?
Sometimes we are too busy. Sometimes we think the person won't receive what we have to say. Sometimes we get so caught up in unimportant things that we don't make it a priority. Sometimes we make excuses. Sometimes we forget that these little things matter.
On Valentines Day, I texted and Facebook messaged as many people as I could in 2 hours a simple message:
heart emoticon happy Valentine's Day [name of friend] heart emoticon YOU are loved and very special!
heart emoticon
heart emoticon happy Valentine's Day [name of friend] heart emoticon YOU are loved and very special!
heart emoticon
I loved doing this...because I love my friends! And I wanted them to know it.
I love the peeps who invest in my life. Who pray for me. Who encourage me to be a better person. Who love me for who I am. Who believe in me.
This was the first Valentine's Day I have ever done something like this, but it isn't the only time I make it a priority. I try to text a random person every day a message that says I am thinking about you and I hope you are doing well...or I am sending lots of love and eHugs to you...or I love you.
Even if you don't respond. Even if you ignore my heart. Because it doesn't change my heart, I LOVE YOU! I will always love you.
#CircleOfFriends #ChooseToBeDifferent #LiveIntentionally #LoveOnPurpose
#CircleOfFriends #ChooseToBeDifferent #LiveIntentionally #LoveOnPurpose
Sunday, February 28, 2016
psalm 63:8
I got a text message from a friend this morning asking: "How's ur soul?"...after knowing I needed and requested prayers.
Psalm 63:8 My soul sings to you O God, your right hand upholds me.....
Here was my response:
My soul believes in God.
My soul knows God's got this.
My soul believes God is doing a work in me but doesn't know or understand what it is right now.
My soul has hope that this is a phase.
My soul is rejoicing that I get another day to serve Him.
My soul is encouraged by friends who love and support and pray for me.
My soul is in some intense healing.
My soul will stay with its purpose: a courageous, generous and loving spirit.
My soul will still seek God in everything.
My soul will not run from the pain or the memories that come when things like this happen.
My soul will become more confident and not shrink back.
My soul will trust that God is working out all things for my good.
My soul will become the Woman of God that I am called to be.
My soul believes in God.
My soul knows God's got this.
My soul believes God is doing a work in me but doesn't know or understand what it is right now.
My soul has hope that this is a phase.
My soul is rejoicing that I get another day to serve Him.
My soul is encouraged by friends who love and support and pray for me.
My soul is in some intense healing.
My soul will stay with its purpose: a courageous, generous and loving spirit.
My soul will still seek God in everything.
My soul will not run from the pain or the memories that come when things like this happen.
My soul will become more confident and not shrink back.
My soul will trust that God is working out all things for my good.
My soul will become the Woman of God that I am called to be.
My question to you is...How is YOUR soul?
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Gratitude 02212016
Laying in bed in San Diego. Reflecting on my life this last month. It has been one month since the loss of a great person in my life. So freaking amazed at all the ways God has brought healing into my soul through the intense pain. The people he had positioned at various points along the journey to give hugs, love, words of encouragement, support, prayers, and the blessings all of this has been to me. I have a heart full of gratitude! Immense gratitude.
Life truly is beautiful! Embrace it. Live it fully. Intentionally. Passionately. Purposefully. Today.
Friday, February 19, 2016
how do you view blocked comments?
The moment you see a friends post and it lists a certain number of comments, and you being the connector you are, the person who likes to read what other people think and feel and believe, you click to read the comments and you can't see them.
Yah, people say nobody knows when you are blocked on Facebook and you just move on. But the reminders are small ways that continue to alert you of something you don't have. A lost connection.
You can see it as a slap in the face, the knife to the heart, the kick in the gut...
OR...
You can see it as someone who doesn't like your light shinning in their eyes, a person who wants negativity and drama, a person who is really hurting and doesn't know how to heal, unable to accept love, unable to give love, and unable to feel forgiveness.
Truth cannot be hid. Honesty and integrity are visible to everyone. Love always wins.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
how I choose to repair a relationship
You offend someone. You hurt them. You insult them. You trigger them to become angry. Now what?
For me, I always try to first see it from their perspective. What did I say that offended you? How did I hurt you? How did I insult you? How did I trigger your anger button? Once I have this information, I process and then respond with I am sorry.
Be clear with what you are sorry for: I am sorry that what I said caused this reaction in you. I am sorry I offended you. I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry you felt insulted. I am sorry you have become angry. I never meant to hurt you or others. I never meant to cause a problem between us. I then let them know what I simply meant to convey through my statement was ____________________ . You are not responsible for how they respond, but you can be responsible for how you triggered and set them off, whether it was knowingly or unknowingly.
I then ask for forgiveness. I am sorry for ______________________ and I ask you to please forgive me.
I also end the conversation with Thank YOU for letting me know you were/are offended, hurt, insulted, triggered. Thank YOU for letting me do what I can to fix this. Thank YOU for being a part of my life and helping me grow to be a better person. Thank YOU for accepting my apology (whether they really do or not, don't judge.)
I love you and appreciate you. I always tell them I love them. Always.
Does this repair all relationships? Yes and No.
It allows for a bridge of healing to be established between both parties, it doesn't mean the bridge of healing will take place. It allows for open communication, but it doesn't mean open communication by both parties will take place. It allows for love to be given and felt, if both parties engage in this method.
I have again been faced with the reality that you cannot control whether someone will receive your apology or not. You cannot force them to accept your apology. They have a will and a choice to do so. You cannot make someone accept love. You cannot make someone resolve their anger. You cannot make someone see your perspective. You cannot make someone see that you didn't mean to hurt them. You cannot make someone forgive you. They have to want to heal their own wound. They have to want to receive your forgiveness. They have to want that peace.
ALL YOU can control is YOUR part.
Don't let this stop you from being loving. Don't let this create a wall where one can be torn down. Don't let this stop you from responding in a way you will later wish you had had more control in the moment. Don't let their issues stop you from being who you can be because you choose to be. Even if they are ugly to your face or behind your back, online or offline. Keep the focus in mind as to what is important.
#RelationshipsMatter #LoveOnPurpose #BeLoving #Forgiveness
#RelationshipsMatter #LoveOnPurpose #BeLoving #Forgiveness
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Tribute to Sandra
Dear Sandra,
Today is your Memorial. Just as much as you were celebrated when you came into the world, today I will celebrate you having left this world!
Today I celebrate the person you were, the life that you gave and shared with me, the faith that you were not afraid to talk about or show, your courage to press on even when death looked you in the face over and over and over, even in days when your pain was out of control, the days you laid in a hospital bed wavering between life and death, even in days when you wanted to die, even when you didn't understand what God was doing, even then, you still loved God.
Your life was one filled with challenges most would never be able to comprehend. One filled with extreme pain. Yet, as I reflect on the memories of the times we shared together, I am blessed to have known you. Blessed to have been able to share this journey with you.
Today, I celebrate you!!! You are in Heaven wearing Gold Slippers, having Angels Wings, and you have received your own personal crown as the Princess of The One True King with glitter and diamonds and you are dancing to Heavens Choir. Your party today will have no tears, no pain, no regrets, no sadness, no difficulties, no sickness, no medicine.
Your party today is one filled with amazing LOVE of Jesus, the one who called you home on Thanksgiving Day 2015. I find God's timing to bring you home on this day, not a mistake. I find the way you quickly went after years of misery, not a mistake. God doesn't make mistakes and He has a message for everyone here to know and learn. Your faith continues to speak to those around you. I love you and appreciate all you were to me dear Sandra!
I love and celebrate you today!!!
Today is your Memorial. Just as much as you were celebrated when you came into the world, today I will celebrate you having left this world!
Today I celebrate the person you were, the life that you gave and shared with me, the faith that you were not afraid to talk about or show, your courage to press on even when death looked you in the face over and over and over, even in days when your pain was out of control, the days you laid in a hospital bed wavering between life and death, even in days when you wanted to die, even when you didn't understand what God was doing, even then, you still loved God.
Your life was one filled with challenges most would never be able to comprehend. One filled with extreme pain. Yet, as I reflect on the memories of the times we shared together, I am blessed to have known you. Blessed to have been able to share this journey with you.
Today, I celebrate you!!! You are in Heaven wearing Gold Slippers, having Angels Wings, and you have received your own personal crown as the Princess of The One True King with glitter and diamonds and you are dancing to Heavens Choir. Your party today will have no tears, no pain, no regrets, no sadness, no difficulties, no sickness, no medicine.
Your party today is one filled with amazing LOVE of Jesus, the one who called you home on Thanksgiving Day 2015. I find God's timing to bring you home on this day, not a mistake. I find the way you quickly went after years of misery, not a mistake. God doesn't make mistakes and He has a message for everyone here to know and learn. Your faith continues to speak to those around you. I love you and appreciate all you were to me dear Sandra!
I love and celebrate you today!!!
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
My aim in Friendship
I aim to be your friend at all times. I desire to always be kind. I completely want to understand you. I honestly want to always love you. But...in my attempt to work through my own struggles, to dissolve all my childhood baggage, to not let my issues come between us, to not let hurts keep me from letting you close, to look at my beliefs and clearly know if they are lies or truth, and ultimately to create a loving space to let you in my world, I sometimes will do it all wrong. I will say things that cause you pain. I will do things that make you question me. I will not understand and it will create conflict.
I only ask that you be patient with me. I ask that you love me when its hard to and you don't want to. I ask that you help me understand what I did wrong. Please don't just cut me out of your life. Please don't just build walls. Please don't treat me coldly. This hurts me. Deeply.
I will always say I am sorry. I will always be open to listening even if I don't see things your way. I will always care about you. Even if it means you are no longer in my world and don't want me in yours. I don't want you to resent me. I don't want you to feel obligated to a friendship/relationship. I release you to be who you need to be.
#MyHeart #PerspectiveOnRelationships #BeLoving
#MyHeart #PerspectiveOnRelationships #BeLoving
Monday, June 9, 2014
The Relationship Wheel
One of my very close friends shared this with me...thought you would benefit from it too. It's The Relationship Wheel. If you just take one trait away, the relationship will not run smoothly.
Ponder these 10 traits!
Ponder these 10 traits!
Sunday, May 25, 2014
a night of Praise & Worship with Emma
I have some really amazing and creative friends...Emma is one of them. She sent me this unique text message last week, being very creative in how she asked to spend time together and to let me know that she has been missing me. She knows I have been a little preoccupied lately with some other stuff and she wanted me to know that she wanted to spend time together...having friends like that is sweet!
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| text message from Emma |
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| Emma & Misty |
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| Converge at The Edge Coffeehouse |
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| Converge at The Edge Coffeehouse |
We had a lovely evening of Praise & Worship and Prayer!!! It was absolutely amazing...the nuggets I took away from our time were these:
God will sustain you. Yes, cast all your cares on him, FOR HE WILL sustain you.
At church this morning they reminded us that God paid the HIGHEST price for you...tonight, they asked us to remember this. I want to reflect on what message this has for me in my life right now.
Every person is unique and special. Grab a hand and hold on for LIFE!
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| a double rainbow as we were leaving... |
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