Quotes

Those who walk with God, always reach their destination.

Dad is still in ICU

I appreciate your ongoing prayers for my Dad and for the situation as he remains in ICU. Due to various reports and ongoing conflicting information between what my Mom is telling others and what the Hospital has confirmed, I do not have any additional information that I am able to report at this time as true facts.  Dad may have had a mini stroke, but he may not have.  There may be a chance that Dad had has a small aneurysm, but again they need to run tests to determine this.  As of now, Mom is not permitting them to do so and the hospital is at the point they are going to have to release Dad if she is not going to let them treat him.  She has Medical Power of Attorney.  What I don't understand is until yesterday, Dad has been coherent and able to converse (according to nursing personnel), so I don't know why she would be allowed to overrule what they need to do on Dad or why he has no say.  However, the report I received today is that he is now not eating and is not responding.  It appears that he may be giving up.  I should know more details later in the day.  

I covet your prayers as I deal with this stressful situation full of drama.  I wish I could explain more.  Please trust that there are reasons I cannot yet.

Know God

Know where you are going, who you are, and why you exist. But above all, know God.
- I Am Second

relax. pray. let go. let God.

update on Dad

My Dad is still in ICU.  They are treating him for a kidney infection. The hospital wants to run more tests, if Mom allows, but at this point she is making things very difficult for the Healthcare Team. Please pray for my Aunts & Uncles that God will give them wisdom with my Mom, that they will be able to be patient when she tries their ever living nerve, and that they will have no guilt for the things they say or do, knowing that I know they are doing their absolute best. My heart goes out to each of them!!!

some of my thoughts

I am beyond grateful for extended family and friends who understand a situation with words I can't express, situations I can't explain, feelings I don't want to talk about, lives that have been separated, memories that can't be erased, deep wounds though time has done some to heal can be easily re-exposed...but are patient, loving, caring, understanding, and even if they don't know all the details of what I am facing or have faced, would do or be something different then I am...they truly want the best for me and for my family...and they will love me and pray for me! WOW!!! You have no idea the feeling this gives to me.

another update on Dad

Dad was moved to ICU last night due to needing to be monitored.  It has been reported that his blood pressure had risen to dangerous levels however I am not sure this is accurate.  Mom went to see him yesterday.

where I am with this situation with Dad

I love my Dad.  I appreciate that he took the time to write me a letter and ask for forgiveness.  I am beyond grateful for the chance to show love and respond to his letter.  I know that God is working in his heart and that the outcome of all this will be as God's wants, according to His plan.  

However, this doesn't mean that these events in my life have now suddenly made us a wonderful family.  There is more to it than that.  You may or may not understand that it brings up a lot of baggage.  It is an emotional roller coaster ride.  I request your prayers for the whole family drama that drains me both emotionally and physically very quickly. I want to be loving, but don't care to get wrapped up in any involvement of the first 20 years of my life!  I don't care to play the games my Mom still plays.  I don't care to create further issues, I want peace. 

I know many of you are...and I greatly appreciate the love and prayers on behalf of me, my Dad, the medical team and my blood family! I know God has a plan with the timing of all this as it relates to my Dads letter and my letter and I pray that it is used for His glory!

Quotes

Worship is simply giving God his breath back.
 - Louie Giglio

pray for Mindy

I received a response today from Mindy via my Facebook Personal Message:

5:31pm
Lola Gilbert (she doesn't go by Mindy, though Lola is not her name legally)
There is no need for any messages from mom. I told her that I wanted no further communication even in the event of death. Nothing has changed on my end so there is no need for you to relay any message from her.

Please pray for her heart, for the coldness she has towards God, life and people.  Pray that He will soften her heart and let this be an opportunity to love her in spite of her anger an blame towards everyone else.  My heart aches for her.  

More to pray about!

update on Dad

I received an update on my Dad from Aunt Connie and my Aunt Donna.

My dad sustained a head injury when he passed out, in all likelihood from the pain and vomiting relating to the Kidney Stones, however he was on a significant amount of pain medication and had a stroke a few years ago so there may be other aspects relating to this.  Evidently the head injury is both internal and external as the wound is the size of a golf ball.  The CAT Scan shows the bleeding has stopped, though it appears from medical reports via my Uncle Dana that he did not have an aneurysm.  Dad is still in the hospital awaiting an MRI.  Mom has not been to see him since he went in as she doesn't want to risk getting sick and said her doctor told her not to go until he gets his own room.  

I hope that others have had an opportunity to go because this is a ripe opportunity without my Mom around.  I don't mean that in a mean way, it simply is the truth.  She is so controlling and manipulating, there is no way to have a real conversation with my Dad in her presence.  Course, Dad is so jaded by her ways that sometimes it is hard to break that wall with him.

Mom has since relayed the full story to Terry so he is aware.  I do not know if contact as been made with Mindy, but I did send her a text message and Facebook message (even though we are not friends) stating:  

Mom has asked that I relay a message to you. Please let me now how to do this as you prevoiusly asked me not to talk to you. Please call mom or Terry for details about Dad. Love you! Misty

This leave my heart feeling that there is much to pray about!

God is...

God is Bigger than:
your past
your depression
your pain 
your hate
your anger
your doubt
your fear
your shame
your eating disorder
your self harm
your anxiety
your lonliness
your scars
this world.

pray for my Dad

I received word yesterday via text from Aunt Jessica that my Dad has been dealing with Kidney Stones.  The pain got worse and my Mom found him slouched over the tub, evidently having been vomiting, but could not get him to respond.  She called 911 and they took him to the Hospital.  She told Terry that they kept him for observation, but in reality it is more serious as he has a brain aneurysm.  I received a phone call from Mom early this morning, to let me know that information and that they have moved him "down the hill" to another regional hospital in CA.

Having been woken up from sleep, I wasn't in full fledge alert thinking mode, but I told Mom that I would pray for Dad, for her and for the doctors involved in the situation.  She asked that I contact my sister Mindy.  I let her know that per Mindy's request, she doesn't want to hear from me and I have not talked to her in two years and don't even know if the number I have for her is valid.  I did send her a text to let her know that Mom has a message she wants me to relay to her and to please let me know how to get this to her as she had previously asked me not to contact her.  I have had no response.  

I asked Mom if she was aware that Dad sent me a letter in November, to which she said yes he gave a copy to her, my brother Terry and sister Mindy.  I asked if he received my letter in December and she said, yes he did.  I am grateful to know this!

I am requesting you my friends for prayers for him and for the doctors.  My Mom can exaggerate medical issue dramatically and I don't always know what to believe or not believe.  I am not going to elaborate further on that here as there is no need, but believe me when I tell you that if I gave you specifics, even things she said on the phone today, and you would shake your head.  If you will pray for me too, that would be greatly appreciated! 

Not all of you know or understand my family situation, however, I got a letter from my dad 11.16.2012 asking for forgiveness [after being told I was never welcome back in their home and not hearing, seeing or speaking to him in 15 years]. I mailed a response 12.15.2012 letting him know that I appreciated his letter, accepted his apology and request for forgiveness, and prayed that he may come to a place of peace with regards to his life and part in our lives and put that behind him so that he may press on to live a life full of abundance in His blessings! If this is his time to go, I pray that he has found rest in this and the peace God gives each of us. 

Thank You to all my friends who love, care and support me through this journey that has been in many ways a difficult one with lessons, heartache, struggles, and truth to learn. My relationship with God, who is the one in control has deepened, He is my strength, who loves me beyond words, understands, and wants the best for me, more than anyone!

song ~ good to be alive

Good To Be Alive
by Jason Gray

Hold on
Is this really the life I'm living?
Cause I don't feel like I deserve it
Every day that I wake, every breath that I take you’ve given
So right here, right now
While the sun is shining down

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive, yeah

Hold on
If the life that we've been given
Is made beautiful in the living
And the joy that we get brings joy to the heart of the giver
Then right here, right now
This is the song I'm singing out

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive
[x2]

I won’t take it for granted
I won’t waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say “thank you”

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be, it's good to be alive

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
Love like I'm on borrowed time
It's good to be alive

I won’t take it for granted
I won’t waste another second
All I want is to give you
A life well lived, to say “thank you”

2nd Level Appeal Letter to Humana

Dear Blogging Friends: I have been asked for details on my Second Level Appeal Letter sent to Humana, my Health Insurance Carrier.  Here is what I wrote:

January 14, 2013

To Whom It May Concern:

In review of the processing of the claim for DOS 10.09.2012 by each of the providers who rendered services to me [Mickey Gierhart, Don Dodson, Ameripath Pathology Labs,  Joseph McWherter, Texas Health Resources/Harris Methodist Hospital], I am going to dispute your decision and ask you to reconsider for the following reasons:

The reason for a complete hysterectomy was not due to or related to Endometriosis.  If you were to review the medical records from my physician, Dr. Joseph McWherter for the 1.5 – 2 years prior to this surgical procedure, you would find clinical based evidence that my quality of life was severely compromised due to extreme hormone imbalances that was creating a major strain on my physical body.  I was experiencing severe insomnia and sleep issues, only getting an average of 3-4 hours of sleep a night for a year and a half, when I normally had been getting 9-12 hours of sleep a night.  My sleep issues did not improve even with treatment with Ambian or Lunesta (both which were covered by my Humana Insurance Plan).  The hormone imbalance was creating a significant drain on my adrenals which made symptoms of fatigue and treatment nearly impossible.  Response to compound medications and adrenal supplements (not covered by my Humana Insurance Plan) were minimal due to the ongoing hormone imbalance that was unable to be obtained through hormone therapy (which also was covered by my Humana Insurance Plan).  Various forms of hormone therapy treatments were attempted to discontinue the menstrual bleeding that was occurring up to 10 months straight.  Vitamin B-12 Shots had to be given to reduce the increased risk of Anemia due to the ongoing bleeding.  However, the symptoms continued as my body was non-responsive to these various forms of hormone therapy.  Additionally, due to the severe hormone imbalance and sleep deprivation I was experiencing, the stress on my body from the ongoing fatigue created consequent issues in which I lost 1/3 of my hair.  This was due to my body being unable to cope with these continued hormone imbalance issues and the lack of rest that one needs to heal and live daily life.  My physician, Dr. Joseph McWherter, would request lab work and adrenal tests (which were covered by my Humana Insurance Plan) every few months to try to review what other aspects might be affecting the hormone imbalance.  When these results did not provide answers, a referral was processed to an Internal Medicine Physician, Dr. Mai Sharaf, to obtain a second opinion and request to have my lab work and test results reviewed to determine if there could be an underlying disease or other abnormal condition that would be creating the problems I was experiencing.  After a great length of time spent to find answers through repeat tests, continued alterations made to medication dosage, various sleep aid medications treatments attempted, comparison reports done between test results, findings reviewed and discussed with other specialists and collaborating physicians, other potential diseases ruled out, a negative premenopausal state confirmed, and yet there still no explanation for the reason for my symptoms.  We were now at the complete end of options and still had not gotten any positive findings to figuring out what was transpiring with my body to come to a clinical conclusion to make my symptoms resolved.  At this point in time, Dr. McWherter knew I was very frustrated and dealing with this situation was taking a physical toll on me.  We had exhausted all resources and options for treatment and he was left with only one recommendation, which is what he made to me.  His request was that I consider and pursue a complete hysterectomy.  At 35 years of age, not married, never having been a mother, this was not something I wanted to consider.  However, in reviewing the situation, due to the lack of response to various treatment recommendations and no conclusive reason for the symptoms, I either had to accept the ongoing lack of quality of life that was rapidly decreasing further and putting a complete physical strain on my mental, physical and emotional state and hindering my daily life, or I was going to be forced to make the decision to have an operation to not further progress my physical state and create additional complex health issues.  It became obvious to me that my physician’s recommendation for surgery was the best and only option I had.  I knew that if I was already seeing other things being displayed from the ongoing fatigue and stress on my body, it would only be a matter of time before other symptoms and medical conditions would present themselves and cause further issues to address.  It is because of all these things that I had a complete hysterectomy on Tuesday, October 9^th, 2012.

Therefore, because of the reasons outlined above, it is determined that you have inaccurately denied payment for this surgical procedure by stating that it is related to the Exclusionary Rider on the members policy and that it is a non-covered condition [referring to an Exclusionary Rider that was put in place under my Humana Insurance Plan at the time the policy was issued 02.01.2011].  Hormone imbalance, adrenal fatigue, menstrual bleeding, insomnia and hair loss are not related to Endometriosis or Adhesions.  Humana covered and paid for the office visits, medications to treat the symptoms, lab work to determine the cause of the symptoms, tests run to diagnosis, treat, and monitor these conditions.  What gives Humana the right to decline payment for the surgical procedure to resolve the problem?  By denying payment for this surgical procedure, you are in essence stating that you would have rather have continued to pay for monthly office visits for examination and follow-up for monitoring of medication, additional consultations to specialist, further tests to rule out additional medical conditions, repeated lab work, expensive medications, ultra sounds, x-rays and other forms of medical procedures, all the while I was and would continue to be suffering beyond words.  It is hard to explain to you what it felt like having exhausted all options to reasonably treat the symptoms I was facing, come to a medical decision making process that would resolve the situation and improve my quality of life when you only have one option left.  The fact was clear, what I was experiencing in my horrific lack of quality of life that was completely debilitating, to the point I wondered how much longer I could take any of this and not literally die from sheer exhaustion and fatigue, let alone deal with continued months of menstrual bleeding was not something that I felt I could continue to do.  Evidently you think it is reasonable to ask a patient to accept this type of quality of life and to not seek resolution to these symptoms.  Additionally, you have obviously not done the math as to the cost of each of these items or you would find that all those things mentioned above over time are more costly and exceed the cost of surgery.  I believe if you step back and look at the facts presented here you will see that your decision was made without appropriate information and without any clinical understanding and made a judgment call in error stating that it is related to a condition that you have excluded from being a covered benefit under my Humana Insurance Plan which cannot be supported. 

I also would ask you to consider how you feel as an Insurance Payor that you have more clinical expertise then that of my physician?  I think we both can agree that the evidence is substantial to support the fact that your decision was based off of revenue and not one in the best interest of the patient and that you have neither the expertise nor the ability to supersede that of a physician who has been involved in my medical history and been providing medical care to me since 2007.  It is beyond me why Humana would not be in favor of a patient’s health condition and evaluate the situation based off of the facts. 

I am requesting an unbiased, clinical, factual review of my medical history as it relates to all services performed on October 9^th, 2012 and a favorable redetermination of claim payment made.

Regards,

Misty Gilbert

[address and phone number removed for confidentiality reasons]

CC:          Mickey Gierhart

Don Dodson

Ameripath Pathology Labs

Joseph McWherter

Texas Health Resources/Harris Methodist Hospital

[smile]

Let your smile change the world.

Don't let the world change your smile.

Quotes

Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
- Mark Twain

luke 18:1

always pray and never become discouraged
 - Luke 18:1

I will rise...

Yes, I will rise...with the strength given me from God above!

3 months since surgery

Today marks 3 months since surgery! I am beyond grateful & thankful to God for the improvements in my health. I only wish I had done it sooner! 

I have been asked how I am feeling, how I am doing, and what has improved since October 9th, 2012...and there is so much!  In a nutshell, I am feeling tremendously better!!!  I am doing as well as I can be, if not better than I expected.  I have improved dramatically in the area of sleep, bleeding and pain.  Am I now living in a perfect body?  No.  Do I still have pain?  Yes.  Pain like I had before?  Absolutely not!  Do I still have struggles with my health?  Yes.  I still have allergies.  I still have disease.  I still have hormone battles.  I still have workaholic tendencies that creates stress on my body.  However, the health issues I am facing are not of the magnitude or degree I had previously been facing day in and day out, that was totally draining my body of any energy, zapping my will fight to live and a care to want to on top of exhaustion from an inability to get rest.  The difference is dramatic!  So much so that both people who have not seen me in a long and those that see me regularly have commented on the difference. They state that I just look more alive and radiant.  I have to agree.

Special Love and Thanks to all my friends who prayed for me...checked on me...and helped me along the way.

in Christ alone

Dear Lord, please forgive me when I put my hope in people, position or possessions. I ask for the strength & faith to trust you and know you alone are my hope and salvation. Amen.