Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
Counseling Session #10
We discussed the nuggets of my Woman Of Faith Conference in Oklahoma City this weekend. Particularly, the lines from the World Vision video on Friday Night that gripped my heart so hard, tears were flowing down my face as I had the realization that God had a message He wants me to clearly receive and understand completely:
My counselor is getting really perceptive about me. Kinda scary. Kinda exciting.
In today's session, we are working through my fears of telling my story. I don't feel my story matters. I believe I have a story, that's not what I question, I just don't feel important. When I have shared bits of my story, I get reactions out of people that are hard to face, hard to accept, hard to deal with. I dread telling more of my story.
My counselor doesn't believe I have fear, she has only seen a courageous spirit from me. I believe I am courageous, but not without fear. Maybe fear is the wrong word? I don't care what word you use, there is something there, preventing me from feeling I have freedom in telling my story and I believe that I need to figure out why so that I can move past it and face whatever it is.
She reminded me the following:
Your story matters because that's the path God put you down. Right now telling my story is agony, but with time it will become easier. Your story will touch you the rest of your life.
I will be making a list of the fears I have in telling my story. I am determined to not quit.
Our stories are powerful.
God speaks to us through our stories.
The choices we make write our stories.
How powerful will your story be?
Allow God to be the bridge for the hurt and pain to connect people.
My counselor is getting really perceptive about me. Kinda scary. Kinda exciting.
In today's session, we are working through my fears of telling my story. I don't feel my story matters. I believe I have a story, that's not what I question, I just don't feel important. When I have shared bits of my story, I get reactions out of people that are hard to face, hard to accept, hard to deal with. I dread telling more of my story.
My counselor doesn't believe I have fear, she has only seen a courageous spirit from me. I believe I am courageous, but not without fear. Maybe fear is the wrong word? I don't care what word you use, there is something there, preventing me from feeling I have freedom in telling my story and I believe that I need to figure out why so that I can move past it and face whatever it is.
She reminded me the following:
Your story matters because that's the path God put you down. Right now telling my story is agony, but with time it will become easier. Your story will touch you the rest of your life.
I will be making a list of the fears I have in telling my story. I am determined to not quit.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
friendship
Friendship sits at a little table
with cups of coffee.
It listens, smiles,
and always knows exactly what you mean.
It can unexpectedly burst into loud laughter,
the kind that makes other people look -
but sometimes, it's kind of quiet, too.
Sometimes friendship is
every single day for a week,
and then other times
it feels like forever
since you've connected...
no matter
how much time goes by,
you and your friendship mean the world to me!
[loved the words to this card I sent a friend a few weeks ago...thought I would share with you]
[loved the words to this card I sent a friend a few weeks ago...thought I would share with you]
Monday, July 29, 2013
Counseling Session #9
I know better than to procrastinate. Procrastination at its finest, is never a good thing. It never makes something easier. Yet I continue to do that with my homework between counseling sessions.
I am not sure why I do this. I really don't. This isn't me, I am a person who likes to tackle projects, the feeling of accomplishment is very rewarding, and I have no intentions of quitting. I intend to tell my story, every gut wrenching piece of it. I intend to do exactly what my parents forbade me to do, discuss what went on in our home, every blasted detail. Yup, I do.
So, why do I keep doing this?
I got home from my day yesterday and knew that I needed to do my homework. I went to my office, opened the laptop, pulled up the document and tried to write. Nothing came. My heart wasn't in it. I had had a great day...but now, my mood changed. I didn't want to do this. I decided I wouldn't. I would not force myself to do what I normally would do and make it happen. I would go to bed and sleep.
I woke up a little after 5am with the startling realization that I needed to do my homework and continue to write my story. I didn't dread it, but wasn't really looking forward to it either. I prayed. I asked God for strength to continue to write. For strength to face what I didn't want to do. For strength to continue on a journey that I will be courageous on! For a journey that I know He has a plan about. For a journey that He has given me! Thoughts started coming about what to write. I crawled out of bed and wrote for almost an hour and a half.
Anxiety started to take over. I started to dread my appointment. Seeing the words that were written out on paper is a hard thing. I decided to hit the track. The first song on my Pandora app was Nothing is Wasted by Jason Gray. Awwwhhhhh, God was listening to me. I walked hard. I prayed hard. I heard more music about God's Love for me. Just as I was about to jump in the shower, a girlfriend texted me that she was praying for me. Another awwwhhhhh!
Counseling was tough. Just as I anticipated it being because we are getting deep into the heart of my story. My counselor asked if I was okay. [Just so you know, I hate to tell you I am not okay. It kills me inside to admit I can't do something, I am a failure, I will not tell you this and thus I will avoid telling you that I am not okay.] With tears streaming down my face I nodded. She said Misty, you're not, are you? I told her, "I refuse to state I am not okay. I can't change my story! I can't change what happened, what was said, what was done, what my life was. So then why do I dread telling my story? Why is this so hard for me? Why do I have guilt telling my story? I get my parents told me to never ever share or tell my story, but its doesn't change the truth. Not one bit of it." She said, yes, but you know your parents did not ever want you to tell and you remember those conversations, you know they do not approve of you telling and that is going to be in your heart no matter how you want to proceed.
Again, she is right.
At one point she told me: "You realize that no matter how you tell the truth of your story, some people are flat out not going to believe it."
Yes, I know. People have a hard time facing the truth of ugly stories. I probably would be shunned for my horrible story. People would not believe I was telling the truth. Family would only condemn me more. Friends would use it to say, see, we knew you were from a crazy home - you are going to be just "like her".
Yes, I know. More than you realize. I face these thoughts. It's tough. If you only knew, how tough.
I still am going to tell the truth of my story, regardless of what you think of me. My end goal is to write a book, not because I have anything profound to share but because I want to encourage everyone to live a courageous journey. Regardless if you believe me. I know its the truth. And God helping me, I will get through the rest of this gut wrenching part of my story because it is killing me. This is tougher than you can imagine, and I think for some reason, I thought I could tell my story in 3rd person and it would be easier. How naive of me.
The knot in my stomach is bad and it is affecting my appetite. It's been this way now for a few weeks and now, the results of that is showing. I am losing weight. The clothes I bought in February and March aren't looking so good. I am down 8 pounds from the last time I was at the doctors office. I simply am just not hungry even though I am not skipping meals [outside of the meal before counseling] and many times I will drink a shake to make sure I get protein and have a meal but there is not the normal "live to eat" appetite. I pick at my food, I get full really fast or disinterested quickly. This is not me. I realize its a page in this chapter, hopefully not a full chapter in my current story.
I am trying to be patient with myself.
I am trying to work through the emotions and thoughts that swarm at you, because it is unbelievable. I never dreamed things that happened to me nearly 20 years ago or more would or could create such feelings in me.
I am trying to think of all this as God would.
As I left the session today, I got into my car to run an errand and head to my home office to work with an employee. The song Need You Now by Plumb was the song that came on. As I listened to the lyrics, my heart bled. My eyes spilled tears, hard tears. I need God. I need strength to face this time in my life.
"Everybody's got a story to tell...And everybody's got a wound to be healed. I want to believe there's beauty here...I'm trying to hear that still small voice. God, I need you now!"
Once again, God used music to speak to me. This song has been one used more than once in my life. The last few months. I pray for more strength to face this time in my life.
I am not sure why I do this. I really don't. This isn't me, I am a person who likes to tackle projects, the feeling of accomplishment is very rewarding, and I have no intentions of quitting. I intend to tell my story, every gut wrenching piece of it. I intend to do exactly what my parents forbade me to do, discuss what went on in our home, every blasted detail. Yup, I do.
So, why do I keep doing this?
I got home from my day yesterday and knew that I needed to do my homework. I went to my office, opened the laptop, pulled up the document and tried to write. Nothing came. My heart wasn't in it. I had had a great day...but now, my mood changed. I didn't want to do this. I decided I wouldn't. I would not force myself to do what I normally would do and make it happen. I would go to bed and sleep.
I woke up a little after 5am with the startling realization that I needed to do my homework and continue to write my story. I didn't dread it, but wasn't really looking forward to it either. I prayed. I asked God for strength to continue to write. For strength to face what I didn't want to do. For strength to continue on a journey that I will be courageous on! For a journey that I know He has a plan about. For a journey that He has given me! Thoughts started coming about what to write. I crawled out of bed and wrote for almost an hour and a half.
Anxiety started to take over. I started to dread my appointment. Seeing the words that were written out on paper is a hard thing. I decided to hit the track. The first song on my Pandora app was Nothing is Wasted by Jason Gray. Awwwhhhhh, God was listening to me. I walked hard. I prayed hard. I heard more music about God's Love for me. Just as I was about to jump in the shower, a girlfriend texted me that she was praying for me. Another awwwhhhhh!
Counseling was tough. Just as I anticipated it being because we are getting deep into the heart of my story. My counselor asked if I was okay. [Just so you know, I hate to tell you I am not okay. It kills me inside to admit I can't do something, I am a failure, I will not tell you this and thus I will avoid telling you that I am not okay.] With tears streaming down my face I nodded. She said Misty, you're not, are you? I told her, "I refuse to state I am not okay. I can't change my story! I can't change what happened, what was said, what was done, what my life was. So then why do I dread telling my story? Why is this so hard for me? Why do I have guilt telling my story? I get my parents told me to never ever share or tell my story, but its doesn't change the truth. Not one bit of it." She said, yes, but you know your parents did not ever want you to tell and you remember those conversations, you know they do not approve of you telling and that is going to be in your heart no matter how you want to proceed.
Again, she is right.
At one point she told me: "You realize that no matter how you tell the truth of your story, some people are flat out not going to believe it."
Yes, I know. People have a hard time facing the truth of ugly stories. I probably would be shunned for my horrible story. People would not believe I was telling the truth. Family would only condemn me more. Friends would use it to say, see, we knew you were from a crazy home - you are going to be just "like her".
Yes, I know. More than you realize. I face these thoughts. It's tough. If you only knew, how tough.
I still am going to tell the truth of my story, regardless of what you think of me. My end goal is to write a book, not because I have anything profound to share but because I want to encourage everyone to live a courageous journey. Regardless if you believe me. I know its the truth. And God helping me, I will get through the rest of this gut wrenching part of my story because it is killing me. This is tougher than you can imagine, and I think for some reason, I thought I could tell my story in 3rd person and it would be easier. How naive of me.
The knot in my stomach is bad and it is affecting my appetite. It's been this way now for a few weeks and now, the results of that is showing. I am losing weight. The clothes I bought in February and March aren't looking so good. I am down 8 pounds from the last time I was at the doctors office. I simply am just not hungry even though I am not skipping meals [outside of the meal before counseling] and many times I will drink a shake to make sure I get protein and have a meal but there is not the normal "live to eat" appetite. I pick at my food, I get full really fast or disinterested quickly. This is not me. I realize its a page in this chapter, hopefully not a full chapter in my current story.
I am trying to be patient with myself.
I am trying to work through the emotions and thoughts that swarm at you, because it is unbelievable. I never dreamed things that happened to me nearly 20 years ago or more would or could create such feelings in me.
I am trying to think of all this as God would.
As I left the session today, I got into my car to run an errand and head to my home office to work with an employee. The song Need You Now by Plumb was the song that came on. As I listened to the lyrics, my heart bled. My eyes spilled tears, hard tears. I need God. I need strength to face this time in my life.
"Everybody's got a story to tell...And everybody's got a wound to be healed. I want to believe there's beauty here...I'm trying to hear that still small voice. God, I need you now!"
Once again, God used music to speak to me. This song has been one used more than once in my life. The last few months. I pray for more strength to face this time in my life.
Quotes
Live a life of giving – for a life without giving, will be a life without meaning!
- Dr Walid Saade
- Dr Walid Saade
Sunday, July 28, 2013
a 3 hour lunch with friends
 |
[left to right]
|
Today was an absolutely fun day!
April is in town for a few days and she met up with Leslie and I at Olive Garden in Fort Worth. We spent nearly 3.5 hours over lunch!!! April shared with me what she has been facing in life and what decisions she has had to make and how she has learned so much about God. She shared more of her childhood and siblings connections with me. Leslie and I have chatted a few times when we have been at the Assembly, but this is the first time I really had a deep conversation and got to hear her story as it relates to her and her fiance, Bobby. She told us that there is no way she was going to make it through telling her story without crying. April said it well, I love emotion, it makes a true story! She shared Bobby's decision to give his life to God and serve God. This choice has impacted his life in so many ways. It is another reminder that no matter the mess you come from, you still have a choice and you can choose to allow God to put the broken pieces back together.
I couldn't help but think of my brother. Wish he had this perspective.
The night before April's Wedding, March 2003, was the night I shared my story with Jeff. Interesting that I would see her during this time when I am doing counseling to move forward with telling my complete story?!!! I am continually amazed at how God works things out and His timing.
Quotes
When you look at problems with the eyes of possibilities, on the knees of prayer & with the strength of perseverance, you'll see God working for you, in you & thru you.
- Peter Rahme
- Peter Rahme
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
song ~ help me find it
Help Me Find It
by Sidewalk Prophets
I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own
I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go
I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You
[Chorus:]
If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it
I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone
Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go
I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You
[Chorus]
I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need
[Chorus]
by Sidewalk Prophets
I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own
I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go
I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You
[Chorus:]
If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it
I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone
Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go
I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You
[Chorus]
I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need
[Chorus]
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
you never know when you might save someone's life
Tori and I are friends on Facebook. I met her when I attended the Chick-fil-A Leadercast Event 2013 back in May. This is the 2nd time I have attended the event at her Church [Morning Chapel CME Church] and 3rd year to attend the conference. Over lunch that day, she shared her story with all of us.
Well today, Brenda and her girls came over to swim. It was a hot day and we called things off a little earlier than anticipated. I came in about 4pm and got changed for us to go out for an early dinner before she headed home and of course, I had to check my Facebook News Feed. I LOVE FACEBOOK!
Tori had posted a request:
Someone HELP please I need a Epipen ASAP.............
It all had to do with timing because if I had not checked Facebook when I did, I would not have seen the post. I would not have been able to let her know that I had an EpiPen and that I would give it to her.
Here is her post this evening:
Tori wrote: "This is what Angioedema looks like and its timing. I've had this since I was 14, and its just apart of who I am. No ER this time due to a wonderful women who visited my church sometime ago, by giving me her personal EpiPen. Thank you Misty Gilbert for saving my life, my day, and my finances. Good night y'all blessed"
I am grateful for the opportunity to have met her and to help save her life today. She is self employed, has no health insurance, and had no funds to go to the ER.
Can I remind you to make the most of your day and every opportunity? Life is short. Make a difference in someone's day!!!
Well today, Brenda and her girls came over to swim. It was a hot day and we called things off a little earlier than anticipated. I came in about 4pm and got changed for us to go out for an early dinner before she headed home and of course, I had to check my Facebook News Feed. I LOVE FACEBOOK!
Tori had posted a request:
Someone HELP please I need a Epipen ASAP.............
It all had to do with timing because if I had not checked Facebook when I did, I would not have seen the post. I would not have been able to let her know that I had an EpiPen and that I would give it to her.
Here is her post this evening:
Tori wrote: "This is what Angioedema looks like and its timing. I've had this since I was 14, and its just apart of who I am. No ER this time due to a wonderful women who visited my church sometime ago, by giving me her personal EpiPen. Thank you Misty Gilbert for saving my life, my day, and my finances. Good night y'all blessed"
I am grateful for the opportunity to have met her and to help save her life today. She is self employed, has no health insurance, and had no funds to go to the ER.
Can I remind you to make the most of your day and every opportunity? Life is short. Make a difference in someone's day!!!
Monday, July 22, 2013
Counseling Session #8
The Courageous Journey to tell my story continues.
My counselor is proud of me. [Wish I felt this way about myself.] She believes I have covered a bunch in a short amount of time and is very pleased. She is absolutely amazed by me. [I feel anything but amazing.] She wishes all her clients had my perspective. [A healthy attitude in facing the pain.]
She began our session with telling me one thing. She prefaced that rarely, if ever, does she recommend this, as she feels that all relationships have the ability to stay connected to some degree, with a card once or twice a year, 6 phone calls a year as long as this, this and this are not discussed, healthy boundaries are set to a relationship, and love can be shown and people are not afraid to say "I Love You". However, she let me know very clearly and plainly, that the more she hears me tell my story and I relate what I experienced, she doesn't believe this fits me and wants me to understand that she doesn't feel I can have or should have a relationship with my Mom.
She then explained why.
It made sense. Perfect sense.
Though I must be honest that I did not expect this recommendation from her. I get a lot of comments from others, that if I just tried to love my Mom more, if I had really forgiven her, things would be different or could be different. As one who wants to unconditionally love everyone just as My Jesus Loves Me, I want to make sure I am doing just that. One of my aims is to be a true friend and supporter to all people I connect with, and this would include my Mom.
In all honesty, this blows me away to some degree because she knows how much in just 8 sessions??? She knows enough to make that determination. She understands patterns, behaviors, people, relationships, God, on a level differently than me. I must trust this.
We discussed the voices in your head. She encouraged me to stop and question them...to ask is this what God wants for me?
Redirect your thoughts...Whisper His Name...Thank Him and Ask Him for Direction.
Reminder for this weeks homework: You are coming up on the hardest part of your story. [Yes, I know this, I am very aware of this, unfortunately.]
If you kindly would please pray that I don't procrastinate through my homework and continue through the toughest years of my life story, I would appreciate it blogging friend. I am continuing to reflect on the words in the song History by Matthew West, a song that I heard on Pandora during my daily walk around the track on Sunday.
My counselor is proud of me. [Wish I felt this way about myself.] She believes I have covered a bunch in a short amount of time and is very pleased. She is absolutely amazed by me. [I feel anything but amazing.] She wishes all her clients had my perspective. [A healthy attitude in facing the pain.]
She began our session with telling me one thing. She prefaced that rarely, if ever, does she recommend this, as she feels that all relationships have the ability to stay connected to some degree, with a card once or twice a year, 6 phone calls a year as long as this, this and this are not discussed, healthy boundaries are set to a relationship, and love can be shown and people are not afraid to say "I Love You". However, she let me know very clearly and plainly, that the more she hears me tell my story and I relate what I experienced, she doesn't believe this fits me and wants me to understand that she doesn't feel I can have or should have a relationship with my Mom.
She then explained why.
It made sense. Perfect sense.
Though I must be honest that I did not expect this recommendation from her. I get a lot of comments from others, that if I just tried to love my Mom more, if I had really forgiven her, things would be different or could be different. As one who wants to unconditionally love everyone just as My Jesus Loves Me, I want to make sure I am doing just that. One of my aims is to be a true friend and supporter to all people I connect with, and this would include my Mom.
In all honesty, this blows me away to some degree because she knows how much in just 8 sessions??? She knows enough to make that determination. She understands patterns, behaviors, people, relationships, God, on a level differently than me. I must trust this.
We discussed the voices in your head. She encouraged me to stop and question them...to ask is this what God wants for me?
Redirect your thoughts...Whisper His Name...Thank Him and Ask Him for Direction.
Reminder for this weeks homework: You are coming up on the hardest part of your story. [Yes, I know this, I am very aware of this, unfortunately.]
If you kindly would please pray that I don't procrastinate through my homework and continue through the toughest years of my life story, I would appreciate it blogging friend. I am continuing to reflect on the words in the song History by Matthew West, a song that I heard on Pandora during my daily walk around the track on Sunday.
Quotes
Freedom is when we begin to see the things we were meant to see, from God’s perspective.
- Alan Smith
- Alan Smith
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
Quotes
I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.
― John Newton
― John Newton
Miss Speedster takes a drive
 |
Taking a 2011 Black Corvette for a test drive!!! I am in LOVE!!!!!!! |
He drove first, and I was loving every minute of it!!! He took the top off and then let me drive. Yup, I got up to 115...if traffic would have gotten out of my way maybe I could have gone faster (my sales guy took me up to 120)! Nothing can explain the feeling. He took this picture of me driving on I35, which doesn't top my 145.81 in my NASCAR Racing Experience.
It is amazing how some things in life can scare you and some things just light your fire and empower you! This exhilarating experience is absolutely wonderful!!!
In all seriousness, if I had money that could just be spent just because, I would buy me one, but I don't. Besides, its not a practical car, even if I am only one person. I do have lots of friends, and it only hauls two people, plus it only gets about 22mpg...I am getting 39mpg now. The goal I have set for me financially is to have my house paid for by the 10 year mark, which means by March 2017! I don't plan to ditch that goal...I want to keep this in focus. Additionally, can you imagine driving up to my clients offices in a Corvette? They would think that I was rolling in the dough and overcharging them. Nope, not a chance of ruining getting me any more business.
Maybe someday I will own one, but it's not time...yet.
It is amazing how some things in life can scare you and some things just light your fire and empower you! This exhilarating experience is absolutely wonderful!!!
In all seriousness, if I had money that could just be spent just because, I would buy me one, but I don't. Besides, its not a practical car, even if I am only one person. I do have lots of friends, and it only hauls two people, plus it only gets about 22mpg...I am getting 39mpg now. The goal I have set for me financially is to have my house paid for by the 10 year mark, which means by March 2017! I don't plan to ditch that goal...I want to keep this in focus. Additionally, can you imagine driving up to my clients offices in a Corvette? They would think that I was rolling in the dough and overcharging them. Nope, not a chance of ruining getting me any more business.
Maybe someday I will own one, but it's not time...yet.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
a worthy vocation
I have been reflecting on work, specially my career work as an entrepreneur providing Medical Billing, Credentialing, Accounting, Consulting & Training Services to my clients. What does it mean to be doing something worthy? When I say worthy, I mean a vocation that is beneficial, has value, is serving?
Growing up, my parents did not want me to continue schooling beyond High School. And in reality, they wanted me to "get out of school" as soon as I could. Thus, I graduated High School at 15, in the 2nd Semester of my Sophomore Year by taking the California High School Proficiency Exam. This is a test for 16 year olds [or those who are in their 2nd Semester if not 16 yet] similar to the GED that is known nationally. The test was 6 hours long. I passed the first time and got my certificate December 1991. No walking across the stage though I did get a certificate mailed to me. Now what? My parents plans for me were to get married and have kids. They didn't believe it was right for girls to work, in fact they believed it was independent and haughty to hold a job. In case you don't know, I am now 36, not married and will never be a birth mom. This is another way I haven't fulfilled my parents dreams. In the interim to this plan, my parents wanted me to learn to type and I did on an old fashioned typewriter of my Dad's. I got my speed up really fast, nothing like a computer keyboard where you have auto correct and can easily backspace. You had to put these tape stuff in the slot to correct your mistakes. The goal was to type really fast, not looking at my fingers and reading from a script to the right or left of the typewriter. After hours of perfecting my skill, timing myself, striving for 100% accuracy, I got really good at it. Then my parents had me go door to door trying to solicit work to type. Really? Out in the desert where nobody lives you think someone is going to use me? Nothing came of it. I did some babysitting, until that infringed on my mom's schedule. I was forced to get a job when my Dad's health insurance policy was going to go up $100 because of my age and to keep the option of staying on the family plan until I was 21. They stated they could not afford this and I would have to get a job, though it was without their blessing. I landed my first job from my first interview. It was a job in the medical field at a Dermatologist Office, March 1996 at age 19. I was hired as a Part Time File Clerk, but only worked Part Time the first day. They had so much work for me to do they needed me to come back Full Time until they got caught up. Needless to say,I have never worked Part Time. They taught me more and more and more things and by the time I left that job, I was doing Medical Billing. I have been in the medical field ever since. I started my own business June 2004 doing what I had learned to do on the job and through classes, continuing education, research, seminars and the like. I have devoted my life to learning it so much that I know it backwards and forwards.
In reflecting on all this, I have come to believe that my parents thoughts on what was a worthy vocation were wrong. The "Group of Christian's" I have met with my entire life believe that in order to be doing a worthy vocation, you have to do something that blends in with any skill relating to being a mother, anotherwards it would be best that be a midwife, babysitter, seamstress, or a massage therapist. Any other type of work is "not profitable" or "not as God has called you to do". Your job can not take you away from attendance at "meeting". Your lifestyle must be simple and you can't make much money. Over and above this, our society believes that you are doing something great if you are a doctor, policeman, fireman or someone doing great work for or to people. Don't get me wrong, these are great professions, but I don't believe they are more worthy than any other profession. They may outwardly "help" people more, but they are not any more noble in God's eyes then the clerk at the bank.
In reflecting on what God considers worthy, I have thought about Christ's life here on earth. Who could have had a more worthy vocation? Complete service to everyone, not just the disciples, but even the Pharisees that hated and mocked him. He clearly states he has given each of us different gifts. Each of us have gifts. To believe you don't, means you don't believe Romans 12:6. God calls us to be Servants, to Serve and Love His People!
What is a servant? Simple. A person in the service [an act of helpful activity; useful, providing; a supplier; to make fit] of another.
I believe with all my heart that if you do what you do as unto Him, with a servants heart, with the focus of benefiting other people, you will be doing a worthy vocation. The career you choose or that you land by happenstance, will be a worthy vocation if you put your heart, soul and mind to doing it with a passion and for God. It may not be your dream job, but you can turn it into a worthy job by making it the lifeline you use to serve. You can be doing something nobody see's, but the behind the scenes work also has to happen for the front row people to get in on it. Don't let the lack of title or professional experience keep you from serving and loving. It doesn't take much to serve, but you must have a willing heart and you must be willing to work with all your might...to serve well and often.
Awww, this is the true definition of a worthy vocation!
Growing up, my parents did not want me to continue schooling beyond High School. And in reality, they wanted me to "get out of school" as soon as I could. Thus, I graduated High School at 15, in the 2nd Semester of my Sophomore Year by taking the California High School Proficiency Exam. This is a test for 16 year olds [or those who are in their 2nd Semester if not 16 yet] similar to the GED that is known nationally. The test was 6 hours long. I passed the first time and got my certificate December 1991. No walking across the stage though I did get a certificate mailed to me. Now what? My parents plans for me were to get married and have kids. They didn't believe it was right for girls to work, in fact they believed it was independent and haughty to hold a job. In case you don't know, I am now 36, not married and will never be a birth mom. This is another way I haven't fulfilled my parents dreams. In the interim to this plan, my parents wanted me to learn to type and I did on an old fashioned typewriter of my Dad's. I got my speed up really fast, nothing like a computer keyboard where you have auto correct and can easily backspace. You had to put these tape stuff in the slot to correct your mistakes. The goal was to type really fast, not looking at my fingers and reading from a script to the right or left of the typewriter. After hours of perfecting my skill, timing myself, striving for 100% accuracy, I got really good at it. Then my parents had me go door to door trying to solicit work to type. Really? Out in the desert where nobody lives you think someone is going to use me? Nothing came of it. I did some babysitting, until that infringed on my mom's schedule. I was forced to get a job when my Dad's health insurance policy was going to go up $100 because of my age and to keep the option of staying on the family plan until I was 21. They stated they could not afford this and I would have to get a job, though it was without their blessing. I landed my first job from my first interview. It was a job in the medical field at a Dermatologist Office, March 1996 at age 19. I was hired as a Part Time File Clerk, but only worked Part Time the first day. They had so much work for me to do they needed me to come back Full Time until they got caught up. Needless to say,I have never worked Part Time. They taught me more and more and more things and by the time I left that job, I was doing Medical Billing. I have been in the medical field ever since. I started my own business June 2004 doing what I had learned to do on the job and through classes, continuing education, research, seminars and the like. I have devoted my life to learning it so much that I know it backwards and forwards.
In reflecting on all this, I have come to believe that my parents thoughts on what was a worthy vocation were wrong. The "Group of Christian's" I have met with my entire life believe that in order to be doing a worthy vocation, you have to do something that blends in with any skill relating to being a mother, anotherwards it would be best that be a midwife, babysitter, seamstress, or a massage therapist. Any other type of work is "not profitable" or "not as God has called you to do". Your job can not take you away from attendance at "meeting". Your lifestyle must be simple and you can't make much money. Over and above this, our society believes that you are doing something great if you are a doctor, policeman, fireman or someone doing great work for or to people. Don't get me wrong, these are great professions, but I don't believe they are more worthy than any other profession. They may outwardly "help" people more, but they are not any more noble in God's eyes then the clerk at the bank.
In reflecting on what God considers worthy, I have thought about Christ's life here on earth. Who could have had a more worthy vocation? Complete service to everyone, not just the disciples, but even the Pharisees that hated and mocked him. He clearly states he has given each of us different gifts. Each of us have gifts. To believe you don't, means you don't believe Romans 12:6. God calls us to be Servants, to Serve and Love His People!
What is a servant? Simple. A person in the service [an act of helpful activity; useful, providing; a supplier; to make fit] of another.
I believe with all my heart that if you do what you do as unto Him, with a servants heart, with the focus of benefiting other people, you will be doing a worthy vocation. The career you choose or that you land by happenstance, will be a worthy vocation if you put your heart, soul and mind to doing it with a passion and for God. It may not be your dream job, but you can turn it into a worthy job by making it the lifeline you use to serve. You can be doing something nobody see's, but the behind the scenes work also has to happen for the front row people to get in on it. Don't let the lack of title or professional experience keep you from serving and loving. It doesn't take much to serve, but you must have a willing heart and you must be willing to work with all your might...to serve well and often.
Awww, this is the true definition of a worthy vocation!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
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