Day 12: Blog writing = 768 words. Book writing = 354 words {grand total to book 15,153}.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
Sunday, January 12, 2014
{one thing I wish} the truth about simplicity
I think about things people said when I was young and growing up into the double digits and then on to full teenage years, when life looked like forever before me and the chance to do things and live a real life seemed forever before me.
I think about comments like, life goes by so quickly, before you know it, you are old. I thought how can that be possible. A year is a long time and 70 of them is not like that is fast. 70 is a big number. 70 years would be a long life.
I heard people say, I don't have time for this or I don't have time for that. I thought that that comment was strange because we all have time. I felt people used it to get out of doing something, learning something, being something more than just a person going through day to day life without a plan.
I still think all those things are true. Though obviously your perspective changes as you live life and you learn that a day in a life of a child vs the life of an adult is certainly different. You learn that we don't always have time to do all we want to do even if we want to.
The one thing I wished people had conveyed to me more in my learning was the benefits and blessings of simplicity of/in life.
I believe there is a simplicity in learning to do something and learning to do it well that has significant benefits. I am not sure it is better to learn to do everything. I am not sure it is better to just dabble here and there with your fingers in too many things and with too many options before you to choose from. I am not sure that it brings greater satisfaction but actually takes away from the benefit of a skill.
For example, in home economic hobbies and studies, my mom stressed learning to do it all. We were not permitted to have one hobby. We (me and my sister) were introduced to crochet, knitting, cross-stitch, sewing, traditional hand embroidery, machine embroidery (with a sewing machine, not an embroidery machine) ribbon embroidery, smocking, finger painting, brush painting, colored pencil drawing, dried flower making, handmade card making, scrapbooking, cooking, baking, cake decorating, piano playing, singing, etc.
I never felt good at one thing. I had to do a certain amount of time in three hobbies each winter according to mom. I could not focus on one area lest I became proud of my abilities. I was not allowed to spend too much time on one thing for supposed fear by my mom that I would get bored or burnout. The number of things we were required to learn was extensive. Though I think there are benefits to teaching people to do lots of things, I am not sure it has benefited me well in life. I now feel the requirement to do all these things. I don't feel I can say that one hobby or craft is not for me and cut it out. I now have a collection of tons of stuff because I feel that I need to do each of these hobbies and improve my skills. I feel that I have to keep these things because I spent money and time on them.
I wonder what would have come from the simplicity of learning one thing and learning it extremely well. I know that there are people who think that I do things, many things, really well. I am not here to convince you otherwise. I am here to share how I feel.
For example, I love to knit. What do you think would have happened if when I lived at home I could have bought all the knitting needles I have now in metal and wood and various sizes at that time? What do you think would have happened if I had spent all the money on all these various crafts on one craft? What do you think I would have done?
I believe I would have perfected my skill. I would have done more with my skill. I would have studied my skill more than just learning to do the skill to master knowing how to do it. I would have increased my learning to other depths of it than I have now, like motif knitting, multicolored knitting through intarsia knitting or fair isle knitting (yes I have done some of this but not very much) and indepth stitches.
More thoughts on simplicity in tomorrow's post.
I think about comments like, life goes by so quickly, before you know it, you are old. I thought how can that be possible. A year is a long time and 70 of them is not like that is fast. 70 is a big number. 70 years would be a long life.
I heard people say, I don't have time for this or I don't have time for that. I thought that that comment was strange because we all have time. I felt people used it to get out of doing something, learning something, being something more than just a person going through day to day life without a plan.
I still think all those things are true. Though obviously your perspective changes as you live life and you learn that a day in a life of a child vs the life of an adult is certainly different. You learn that we don't always have time to do all we want to do even if we want to.
The one thing I wished people had conveyed to me more in my learning was the benefits and blessings of simplicity of/in life.
I believe there is a simplicity in learning to do something and learning to do it well that has significant benefits. I am not sure it is better to learn to do everything. I am not sure it is better to just dabble here and there with your fingers in too many things and with too many options before you to choose from. I am not sure that it brings greater satisfaction but actually takes away from the benefit of a skill.
For example, in home economic hobbies and studies, my mom stressed learning to do it all. We were not permitted to have one hobby. We (me and my sister) were introduced to crochet, knitting, cross-stitch, sewing, traditional hand embroidery, machine embroidery (with a sewing machine, not an embroidery machine) ribbon embroidery, smocking, finger painting, brush painting, colored pencil drawing, dried flower making, handmade card making, scrapbooking, cooking, baking, cake decorating, piano playing, singing, etc.
I never felt good at one thing. I had to do a certain amount of time in three hobbies each winter according to mom. I could not focus on one area lest I became proud of my abilities. I was not allowed to spend too much time on one thing for supposed fear by my mom that I would get bored or burnout. The number of things we were required to learn was extensive. Though I think there are benefits to teaching people to do lots of things, I am not sure it has benefited me well in life. I now feel the requirement to do all these things. I don't feel I can say that one hobby or craft is not for me and cut it out. I now have a collection of tons of stuff because I feel that I need to do each of these hobbies and improve my skills. I feel that I have to keep these things because I spent money and time on them.
I wonder what would have come from the simplicity of learning one thing and learning it extremely well. I know that there are people who think that I do things, many things, really well. I am not here to convince you otherwise. I am here to share how I feel.
For example, I love to knit. What do you think would have happened if when I lived at home I could have bought all the knitting needles I have now in metal and wood and various sizes at that time? What do you think would have happened if I had spent all the money on all these various crafts on one craft? What do you think I would have done?
I believe I would have perfected my skill. I would have done more with my skill. I would have studied my skill more than just learning to do the skill to master knowing how to do it. I would have increased my learning to other depths of it than I have now, like motif knitting, multicolored knitting through intarsia knitting or fair isle knitting (yes I have done some of this but not very much) and indepth stitches.
More thoughts on simplicity in tomorrow's post.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Day 11 Writing Goals
Day 11: Blog writing = 898 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
completed two days of ICD10 boot camp training
Thursday & Friday this week I spent the day at The Sheraton Hotel in Fort Worth attending the American Academy of Professional Coders Boot Camp on ICD10. Class was 10 hours each day. Breakfast and beverages all day were included.
I had toyed with staying at the hotel to sort of get a break and when it got moved from Dallas to the Fort Worth location, I opted to save the money (its not a cheap hotel) and stay at home, I am not that far.
I have been in the healthcare industry for 17 years (it will be 18 years in March). The last few years, our industry has gone through some major overhauls. We have another one coming up. ICD10. You ask what is ICD10? I will try to explain in simplistic terms.
ICD9 is the International Statistical Classification of Disease and Related Health Problems, version 9. This is the diagnosis code that gets attached to your medical record and billed on the claim sent to your insurance carrier with each code and each service that is rendered to you.
So that means that ICD10 is the 10th version. No big deal.
We currently have approximately 13,000 codes in the ICD10 version. We will have approximately 87,000 available codes (currently there are approximately 75,000 in the draft version with the final version to be published this year).
That alone is a big deal.
The reason ICD10 is an even bigger deal is that the whole medical billing and coding concepts relating to the specificity of your condition is changing. There has been a proposed change to version 9 for at least 2 years (though it was actually initially started with development in 1992). The reason is that the medical industry wants to track health statistics and be better at understanding why some diseases and conditions affect certain part of the population. This will allow them to do this.
The caveat? It will require providers to be explicit, VERY explicit as to the nature of your condition, how it occurred (this has been attached to your medical record but never apart of your diagnosis), what exactly you were doing, where you live or what type of public place, what you do for an occupation, whether the incident was paid or unpaid (were you at work - a volunteer - was this for pleasure), the severity of symptoms or condition, the laterality (beyond just a right or left limb - it now applies to all parts of the body), etc.
You think I am joking? I am not. I am beyond joking. I won't bore you with more details of this, but let me suffice to say that an industry that has been pretty straight forward, though yes very complicated with certain aspects, will be changing this year, effective October 1, 2014 and will be thoroughly complicated on so many levels.
The two day AAPC Boot Camp Class was to educate us on the changes from ICD9 to ICD10, review the new look up strategy in our coding books, review the criteria required for these codes, and we did 23 tests and 32 case studies.
Even for someone who loves research and a challenge, my brain is mush.
I had toyed with staying at the hotel to sort of get a break and when it got moved from Dallas to the Fort Worth location, I opted to save the money (its not a cheap hotel) and stay at home, I am not that far.
I have been in the healthcare industry for 17 years (it will be 18 years in March). The last few years, our industry has gone through some major overhauls. We have another one coming up. ICD10. You ask what is ICD10? I will try to explain in simplistic terms.
ICD9 is the International Statistical Classification of Disease and Related Health Problems, version 9. This is the diagnosis code that gets attached to your medical record and billed on the claim sent to your insurance carrier with each code and each service that is rendered to you.
So that means that ICD10 is the 10th version. No big deal.
We currently have approximately 13,000 codes in the ICD10 version. We will have approximately 87,000 available codes (currently there are approximately 75,000 in the draft version with the final version to be published this year).
That alone is a big deal.
The reason ICD10 is an even bigger deal is that the whole medical billing and coding concepts relating to the specificity of your condition is changing. There has been a proposed change to version 9 for at least 2 years (though it was actually initially started with development in 1992). The reason is that the medical industry wants to track health statistics and be better at understanding why some diseases and conditions affect certain part of the population. This will allow them to do this.
The caveat? It will require providers to be explicit, VERY explicit as to the nature of your condition, how it occurred (this has been attached to your medical record but never apart of your diagnosis), what exactly you were doing, where you live or what type of public place, what you do for an occupation, whether the incident was paid or unpaid (were you at work - a volunteer - was this for pleasure), the severity of symptoms or condition, the laterality (beyond just a right or left limb - it now applies to all parts of the body), etc.
You think I am joking? I am not. I am beyond joking. I won't bore you with more details of this, but let me suffice to say that an industry that has been pretty straight forward, though yes very complicated with certain aspects, will be changing this year, effective October 1, 2014 and will be thoroughly complicated on so many levels.
The two day AAPC Boot Camp Class was to educate us on the changes from ICD9 to ICD10, review the new look up strategy in our coding books, review the criteria required for these codes, and we did 23 tests and 32 case studies.
Even for someone who loves research and a challenge, my brain is mush.
baby gift finished
I have several friends that had first time babies this last year. I have been working on some things. I love to knit...but sewing up the item to complete it, ugh, not my favorite part! I would rather start another project.
I know. You can say it. Bad habit.
2014 Goal? Finish up the projects started and give them as gifts. Here is one that is completed for Erica {Green} Jones. Probably won't fit her sweat pea anymore, but hey, its the thought that counts, right?
These pictures don't do the color justice. My apologies.
I know. You can say it. Bad habit.
2014 Goal? Finish up the projects started and give them as gifts. Here is one that is completed for Erica {Green} Jones. Probably won't fit her sweat pea anymore, but hey, its the thought that counts, right?
These pictures don't do the color justice. My apologies.
 |
| pistachio leaf green sweater with sleeves rolled up |
 |
| pistachio green booties |
 |
| pistachio leaf green sweater w/unrolled sleeves |
Friday, January 10, 2014
Day 10 Writing Goals
Day 10: Blog writing = 545 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
why I accepted the #my500words challenge
Those of you that are my blogger followers may be wondering why I am blogging daily when I haven't before.
You may be overwhelmed by the daily blog posts. I can understand. Feel free to delete if you are a subscriber Feel free to not read if the title post doesn't intrigue you. Feel free to not feel pressured to join me on my journey to dig deeper into blogging, writing, communicating, and sharing of thoughts.
Someone said, you already write so well, why do you feel the need to do this? That is one persons opinion. You too may be questioning why I have accepted the #my500words challenge by Jeff Goins.
First, I met Jeff Goins at The Platform Conference, the conference I went to over my birthday, November 2013 in Dallas that was put on by Michael Hyatt. This conference is what encouraged and prompted me to buy a domain for my author platform. This conference is what encouraged me to really move forward with a deadline to publish my book. This conference is what made me realize I had a dream of being a writer.
So, when Jeff Goins put on Facebook (probably on his blog too, but I haven't read all his posts) to challenge those that write to do so daily and to write 500 words, I signed up. There was criteria to be met, but really very few rules, and simple accountability. This was an uncomplicated goal and it inspired me to do it.
Here is why I accepted the #my500words challenge:
You may be overwhelmed by the daily blog posts. I can understand. Feel free to delete if you are a subscriber Feel free to not read if the title post doesn't intrigue you. Feel free to not feel pressured to join me on my journey to dig deeper into blogging, writing, communicating, and sharing of thoughts.
Someone said, you already write so well, why do you feel the need to do this? That is one persons opinion. You too may be questioning why I have accepted the #my500words challenge by Jeff Goins.
First, I met Jeff Goins at The Platform Conference, the conference I went to over my birthday, November 2013 in Dallas that was put on by Michael Hyatt. This conference is what encouraged and prompted me to buy a domain for my author platform. This conference is what encouraged me to really move forward with a deadline to publish my book. This conference is what made me realize I had a dream of being a writer.
So, when Jeff Goins put on Facebook (probably on his blog too, but I haven't read all his posts) to challenge those that write to do so daily and to write 500 words, I signed up. There was criteria to be met, but really very few rules, and simple accountability. This was an uncomplicated goal and it inspired me to do it.
Here is why I accepted the #my500words challenge:
- I want to meet my goal this year to complete my first book.
- I want to do better at writing.
- In order to do anything better, it takes practice. And more practice. And yet, even more practice.
- I could keep my practicing and what I write outside of my blog, but then you wouldn't be able to share in what I write. You also would not see the improvement. You would not be able to encourage me along the way. You also wouldn't be a reason to keep me accountable.
- I want to learn more about writing.
- I want to expand on the thoughts I blog about.
- I want to learn from other bloggers.
- I want to be apart of your life and share in your journey.
- Writing challenges me.
- Writing makes me feel vulnerable and forces me to tear down walls and face my fears.
- Writing inspires me.
- Writing helps me look back and reflect to look forward and have hope.
- Writing connects me with you.
So there you have the reasons why I decided to move forward with participating in this #my500words challenge for the month of January 2014. I am 10 days/one third of the way into this challenge. Some days I wonder what I am going to write about. Some days I decide whatever comes first to my mind is the topic. This has been an amazing thing to do because it forces me to write about something that may not be the very top thing on my heart and mind, but it makes me push through which is exactly what I need to be doing.
Want to join me?
Reflections on Girl with No Fingers
I have all my fingers. All my toes. My eyes. My arms. My legs. My hands. My feet.
I have been given an intellectual ability to learn. I am not stupid.
I am a fully functional adult with no deformities. Do I have some health issues that sometimes prevent me from doing things I want? Yes.
Yet this girl in this video can play the piano with no fingers on her right hand. And she can play it better than I can!
If this was you, would you let this stop you?
If this was me, would I let this stop me?
Maybe you are still letting something stop you from being what you can be. Don't let the excuses in your head stop you from doing what you can today for you. For someone else.
Be encouraged!
I have been given an intellectual ability to learn. I am not stupid.
I am a fully functional adult with no deformities. Do I have some health issues that sometimes prevent me from doing things I want? Yes.
Yet this girl in this video can play the piano with no fingers on her right hand. And she can play it better than I can!
If this was you, would you let this stop you?
If this was me, would I let this stop me?
Maybe you are still letting something stop you from being what you can be. Don't let the excuses in your head stop you from doing what you can today for you. For someone else.
Be encouraged!
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Day 9 Writing Goals
Day 9: Blog writing = 1106 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
adrenal fatigue exhaustion
I am facing another all time low with adrenal fatigue exhaustion.
I feel myself going under again emotionally. It's truly hard to keep a positive outlook when you feel like this. When every day all you want to do is cry, the minute you wake up. You are not rested, you want to make it black and sleep the day away...if sleep was even an option.
I keep asking myself what I could have done differently. Why didn't I see the signs coming. But in my heart of hearts, I know the answer.
I wasn't listening. I thought it would "all be okay."
It all started the weekend trip I made to Colorado, September 2013. I pushed myself to go walk Saturday morning after my arrival. I wanted the calm that comes from doing my brisk morning walk and the feeling that comes from exercising. I wanted the clutter in my head to go away. I wanted the noise coming from my fears of being with friends and family to dissipate. I wanted my God time, to pray, to talk, to listen. I wanted peace.
I hit the trails. Not 10 minutes down the walk, I remembered I had not used my inhaler. A true must for the month of September and a double important must for the elevation. I thought, I should go back and use it. I quickly talked myself out of that saying, no, that will delay me and cut into my precious time needed to walk, it will be okay. I have been doing well lately, just got back from a vacation and not been sick in some time, I am good. Halfway through my walk breathing became difficult. Difficult became even more difficult. I thought I was going to pass out. I needed water. I had none with me. I turned my Pandora on my phone louder to avoid the thoughts in my head. I talked myself into breathing deeper. To walking slower. To staying focused on each breath. I thought I had myself under control because I managed things and I was able to make it the full time.
I got back to the house initially thinking I was doing okay, but I soon realized that I didn't feel well. I was shaky. I felt dizzy. But the feelings coming from walking overrode the anxiety I was starting to feel and I pushed off any more ill feelings.
I honestly can't remember if I used my inhaler when I got back to the house or not. I may have, I may not have. Either way, the feelings didn't subside.
I ate, hurried to get ready and leave for Estes Park to go to the wedding. The wedding was in an open field. Another not good thing for people like me. But I refuse to stop. I refuse to listen to the voices in my head from my mom about allergies and that I have no business being "in the weed", about how sickly of a child/girl I am, about how if I don't take care of myself I will get sicker, about how my doctor in California always used to say "rest now for a little bit or later for longer", I didn't want to hear those things, I was here to support my girlfriend and I was determined to do so. I made the most of the time...but flying home on the airplane 3 days later, sickness was settling in my chest. I couldn't keep it away, no matter how much I tried.
The weeks since that time, have turned into four months and I have continued to struggle with my asthma. I quit doing my daily morning walks. I was too tired. I had no stamina. Breathing hurt. I needed to keep up my allergy shots so everything else was stopped. I figured eventually I would feel better.
December came. The busiest month of the year in work for me. Its Year End Financial Planning time. It's Accounts Receivable Clean Up time. It's Year End Project time. It's crazy busy and everyone wants everything now. I worked an insane amount of hours the first half of the month, nearly what I do in a full month by the 20th of the month. Then, when I was supposed to have two weeks during the Holiday breaks to be able to work from home and get all the paperwork done and necessary tasks completed, I got sick. Really sick. I was hardly able to work. I slept a bunch. I couldn't even absorb thinking to try to work. I was beyond exhausted. I was frustrated. I was upset.
I tried to do it on my own, treat my sickness with all the alternative methods I could think of. After 6 days, I realized I wasn't getting better and I had to go to the doctor. Now for the round of antibiotic shot, steroid shot and oral antibiotics. Darn. The initial 24 hours I seemed to do the trick and I was much better, then after 48 hours, I seemed to lapse again. My energy seemed to be worse than it was. I didn't understand. I was so tired. What was wrong with me?
I slept all I could. Would work maybe two hours and sleep more. I tried to take a few days and not work at all. I didn't do anything. I wasn't enjoying doing nothing either because I felt like crud. I was crabby. All I had planned to achieve I couldn't get done. My patience with myself was nil to none.
It's been almost 3 weeks since that time and I am in bed at 6.30pm or 7.30pm at night. I am dragging just to make it to then. I can't seem to make it through the day without nearly being in tears. Forget that I wake up utterly exhausted, wishing I could sleep, just sleep and feel rested.
My doctor is concerned and now I am concerned. I obviously pushed myself too hard. It's hard to look at the bitter facts of how you have treated yourself. Nobody to blame but yourself. Nobody to care about the results but you. Nobody can do anything but you.
How do I get myself back on track? Where do I start? How long is it going to take?
I don't know...but I can tell you this much, I am beyond tired. I am clearly facing another spell of my severe adrenal fatigue disease. I only pray that God gives me the wisdom to know what to do and to do it because I am at a very low point.
I feel myself going under again emotionally. It's truly hard to keep a positive outlook when you feel like this. When every day all you want to do is cry, the minute you wake up. You are not rested, you want to make it black and sleep the day away...if sleep was even an option.
I keep asking myself what I could have done differently. Why didn't I see the signs coming. But in my heart of hearts, I know the answer.
I wasn't listening. I thought it would "all be okay."
It all started the weekend trip I made to Colorado, September 2013. I pushed myself to go walk Saturday morning after my arrival. I wanted the calm that comes from doing my brisk morning walk and the feeling that comes from exercising. I wanted the clutter in my head to go away. I wanted the noise coming from my fears of being with friends and family to dissipate. I wanted my God time, to pray, to talk, to listen. I wanted peace.
I hit the trails. Not 10 minutes down the walk, I remembered I had not used my inhaler. A true must for the month of September and a double important must for the elevation. I thought, I should go back and use it. I quickly talked myself out of that saying, no, that will delay me and cut into my precious time needed to walk, it will be okay. I have been doing well lately, just got back from a vacation and not been sick in some time, I am good. Halfway through my walk breathing became difficult. Difficult became even more difficult. I thought I was going to pass out. I needed water. I had none with me. I turned my Pandora on my phone louder to avoid the thoughts in my head. I talked myself into breathing deeper. To walking slower. To staying focused on each breath. I thought I had myself under control because I managed things and I was able to make it the full time.
I got back to the house initially thinking I was doing okay, but I soon realized that I didn't feel well. I was shaky. I felt dizzy. But the feelings coming from walking overrode the anxiety I was starting to feel and I pushed off any more ill feelings.
I honestly can't remember if I used my inhaler when I got back to the house or not. I may have, I may not have. Either way, the feelings didn't subside.
I ate, hurried to get ready and leave for Estes Park to go to the wedding. The wedding was in an open field. Another not good thing for people like me. But I refuse to stop. I refuse to listen to the voices in my head from my mom about allergies and that I have no business being "in the weed", about how sickly of a child/girl I am, about how if I don't take care of myself I will get sicker, about how my doctor in California always used to say "rest now for a little bit or later for longer", I didn't want to hear those things, I was here to support my girlfriend and I was determined to do so. I made the most of the time...but flying home on the airplane 3 days later, sickness was settling in my chest. I couldn't keep it away, no matter how much I tried.
The weeks since that time, have turned into four months and I have continued to struggle with my asthma. I quit doing my daily morning walks. I was too tired. I had no stamina. Breathing hurt. I needed to keep up my allergy shots so everything else was stopped. I figured eventually I would feel better.
December came. The busiest month of the year in work for me. Its Year End Financial Planning time. It's Accounts Receivable Clean Up time. It's Year End Project time. It's crazy busy and everyone wants everything now. I worked an insane amount of hours the first half of the month, nearly what I do in a full month by the 20th of the month. Then, when I was supposed to have two weeks during the Holiday breaks to be able to work from home and get all the paperwork done and necessary tasks completed, I got sick. Really sick. I was hardly able to work. I slept a bunch. I couldn't even absorb thinking to try to work. I was beyond exhausted. I was frustrated. I was upset.
I tried to do it on my own, treat my sickness with all the alternative methods I could think of. After 6 days, I realized I wasn't getting better and I had to go to the doctor. Now for the round of antibiotic shot, steroid shot and oral antibiotics. Darn. The initial 24 hours I seemed to do the trick and I was much better, then after 48 hours, I seemed to lapse again. My energy seemed to be worse than it was. I didn't understand. I was so tired. What was wrong with me?
I slept all I could. Would work maybe two hours and sleep more. I tried to take a few days and not work at all. I didn't do anything. I wasn't enjoying doing nothing either because I felt like crud. I was crabby. All I had planned to achieve I couldn't get done. My patience with myself was nil to none.
It's been almost 3 weeks since that time and I am in bed at 6.30pm or 7.30pm at night. I am dragging just to make it to then. I can't seem to make it through the day without nearly being in tears. Forget that I wake up utterly exhausted, wishing I could sleep, just sleep and feel rested.
My doctor is concerned and now I am concerned. I obviously pushed myself too hard. It's hard to look at the bitter facts of how you have treated yourself. Nobody to blame but yourself. Nobody to care about the results but you. Nobody can do anything but you.
How do I get myself back on track? Where do I start? How long is it going to take?
I don't know...but I can tell you this much, I am beyond tired. I am clearly facing another spell of my severe adrenal fatigue disease. I only pray that God gives me the wisdom to know what to do and to do it because I am at a very low point.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Day 8 Writing Goals
Day 8: Blog writing = 892 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
someone on your side
Do you ever feel alone, like nobody see's your perspective? Nobody cares about whether things are easy or hard for you?
Do you ever feel you just wish you had someone on your side? Someone who saw your perspective? Someone who was an advocate on your behalf? Someone who made things easier for you? Someone who had your back?
I work with a lot of medical professionals. In Texas, we have a program through the Texas Medical Association in which the physicians that want to enroll are able to pay dues for their membership to be apart of this organization. If you get stuck in a battle with Medicare, Medicaid or a Commercial Insurance Carrier claims payments, denials, authorizations, coding rules and regulations, recoupments, etc and you have exhausted all your efforts through the chain of command and reporting system directly with the payor or agency auditing you, or simply are tired of fighting the issues, or whatever the situation may be, they will fight on your behalf. They are an advocate for physicians. They support the physician. They do not support the government or its carriers. They support the medical professionals.
Sure, they have criteria that must be met first before you can submit a "hassle factor log". But they will help you.
Wouldn't it be nice if you had such a person for you in your life? Someone who you could call on when you had exhausted your efforts or simply were tired of fighting? I mean if you had such a person, wouldn't life be so much better? Wouldn't you be ecstatic that you had someone on your side? Wouldn't it give you a perspective as you approached circumstances and situations in a different way than if you didn't have that support?
You do.
You have someone who see's your perspective.
You have someone who is an advocate on your behalf.
You have someone who makes things easier for you.
You have someone who has your back.
You have God!!!
What would happen if you lived life, daily, with this perspective? Wouldn't it fuel you with a love for living? A love for the person who has your back? The person who is supporting you 100% along the way? The person who is making your life easier?
I want to make this more of my daily focus.
Before I get to the point of feeling I have exhausted my efforts. Before I am tired of fighting. Before I have had to go through the "chain of command". Before all of that, because this advocate, doesn't make you use those resources first. This advocate doesn't make you fill out a form for approval to submit your case. This advocate doesn't care what you did first or last, this advocate will listen, will consider, will support, will love you no matter what has transpired. You have a straight connection, you don't have to go through nobody for permission to access your advocate. You don't have to wait in line. You don't have to make anyone else happy, just one
Ever think about that?
How would my life have been different if I had been educated in this way about the advocate I have always had on my side?
Do you ever feel you just wish you had someone on your side? Someone who saw your perspective? Someone who was an advocate on your behalf? Someone who made things easier for you? Someone who had your back?
I work with a lot of medical professionals. In Texas, we have a program through the Texas Medical Association in which the physicians that want to enroll are able to pay dues for their membership to be apart of this organization. If you get stuck in a battle with Medicare, Medicaid or a Commercial Insurance Carrier claims payments, denials, authorizations, coding rules and regulations, recoupments, etc and you have exhausted all your efforts through the chain of command and reporting system directly with the payor or agency auditing you, or simply are tired of fighting the issues, or whatever the situation may be, they will fight on your behalf. They are an advocate for physicians. They support the physician. They do not support the government or its carriers. They support the medical professionals.
Sure, they have criteria that must be met first before you can submit a "hassle factor log". But they will help you.
Wouldn't it be nice if you had such a person for you in your life? Someone who you could call on when you had exhausted your efforts or simply were tired of fighting? I mean if you had such a person, wouldn't life be so much better? Wouldn't you be ecstatic that you had someone on your side? Wouldn't it give you a perspective as you approached circumstances and situations in a different way than if you didn't have that support?
You do.
You have someone who see's your perspective.
You have someone who is an advocate on your behalf.
You have someone who makes things easier for you.
You have someone who has your back.
You have God!!!
What would happen if you lived life, daily, with this perspective? Wouldn't it fuel you with a love for living? A love for the person who has your back? The person who is supporting you 100% along the way? The person who is making your life easier?
I want to make this more of my daily focus.
Before I get to the point of feeling I have exhausted my efforts. Before I am tired of fighting. Before I have had to go through the "chain of command". Before all of that, because this advocate, doesn't make you use those resources first. This advocate doesn't make you fill out a form for approval to submit your case. This advocate doesn't care what you did first or last, this advocate will listen, will consider, will support, will love you no matter what has transpired. You have a straight connection, you don't have to go through nobody for permission to access your advocate. You don't have to wait in line. You don't have to make anyone else happy, just one
Ever think about that?
How would my life have been different if I had been educated in this way about the advocate I have always had on my side?
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Day 7 Writing Goals
Day 7: Blog writing = 545 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
the speed of life
Do you ever stop and reflect about how life seems to travel fast???
Like really FAST?
Do you ever feel like you can't keep up?
Do you ever stop and think, have I always felt life was this fast??? Or is it faster than ever?
And then you remember. The days in your childhood when it seemed you were in school ForEVER. When the weekend would never come. When summer break or year around break (one month off three months on) was taking so long to show its face. When you really thought the days on the calendar and weeks drug by so slowly. When it seemed your birthday, being a whole nother year away was like eternity. I mean. Those days, the days dragged. Life just dragged. Everything seemed to take too much time.
Wait for this. Wait for that. Too long until you could drive. Until you got your own bank account. Until you were an adult. Until you got to go to so and so's house. Too long until you could visit someone who lived in another state or call them on the phone. Too long until your allowance was paid to you in two weeks. Too long until you turned 13. And forever until you turned 18.
You never seemed to get to do anything fun, now, all you had to do was wait and that meant it was forever away. I mean when you were an adult, then you could really live life. Right?
Oh, to be a child again and change your thinking.
To relish the days of nobody screaming for you to come or do or be or go or see or feel or think. You know what I mean? Do you ever just wanna be that person, I mean, just for a day?
I was thinking about life and how fast it travels and then how slow it seemed to travel in my childhood.
I then thought of a train. You know those trains that seem to take forever to cross the railroad tracks. The ones that are long and inching by so slowly? That's how life seems when you are in your childhood.
Then you become an adult, and somehow the picture changes. Life just seems to roar by, like an Amtrac train that has the railroad guards go down so it can fly by and before you can blink, they are coming back up because the train is gone.
I am not sure why our perspective totally changes, but it does. I thought that some of it had to do with the amount of things we were involved in as we get older vs what we have to manage when we are younger, but I am not sure that is all of it. I think as we get older we have a different perspective on time because we have experienced more of it.
I feel my life is speeding up. Some days, I want to stop it. I want it to crawl by so I can enjoy it. Other days I enjoy the speed it is on and the way things are happening.
I just want to remind you, in case you didn't know:
Life truly does go so fffffaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssst! Make the most of it...
Like really FAST?
Do you ever feel like you can't keep up?
Do you ever stop and think, have I always felt life was this fast??? Or is it faster than ever?
And then you remember. The days in your childhood when it seemed you were in school ForEVER. When the weekend would never come. When summer break or year around break (one month off three months on) was taking so long to show its face. When you really thought the days on the calendar and weeks drug by so slowly. When it seemed your birthday, being a whole nother year away was like eternity. I mean. Those days, the days dragged. Life just dragged. Everything seemed to take too much time.
Wait for this. Wait for that. Too long until you could drive. Until you got your own bank account. Until you were an adult. Until you got to go to so and so's house. Too long until you could visit someone who lived in another state or call them on the phone. Too long until your allowance was paid to you in two weeks. Too long until you turned 13. And forever until you turned 18.
You never seemed to get to do anything fun, now, all you had to do was wait and that meant it was forever away. I mean when you were an adult, then you could really live life. Right?
Oh, to be a child again and change your thinking.
To relish the days of nobody screaming for you to come or do or be or go or see or feel or think. You know what I mean? Do you ever just wanna be that person, I mean, just for a day?
I was thinking about life and how fast it travels and then how slow it seemed to travel in my childhood.
I then thought of a train. You know those trains that seem to take forever to cross the railroad tracks. The ones that are long and inching by so slowly? That's how life seems when you are in your childhood.
Then you become an adult, and somehow the picture changes. Life just seems to roar by, like an Amtrac train that has the railroad guards go down so it can fly by and before you can blink, they are coming back up because the train is gone.
I am not sure why our perspective totally changes, but it does. I thought that some of it had to do with the amount of things we were involved in as we get older vs what we have to manage when we are younger, but I am not sure that is all of it. I think as we get older we have a different perspective on time because we have experienced more of it.
I feel my life is speeding up. Some days, I want to stop it. I want it to crawl by so I can enjoy it. Other days I enjoy the speed it is on and the way things are happening.
I just want to remind you, in case you didn't know:
Life truly does go so fffffaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssst! Make the most of it...
Monday, January 6, 2014
a Misty funny moment. {still laughing}
You ever have those funny moments happen which you just totally laugh about, like every single time you think of them? Or repeat them?
Yah. I am going to share one of those funny moments with you. Course you won't hear me say it in my own words, with the inflection, but I will do my best to describe it to you.
I had my wisdom teeth out April 2010. One of my girlfriends wanted to take care of me. She was happy when all my "moms" were out of town and couldn't. She said it just wasn't fair that she hadn't had her chance. Well now she did. I don't think she was prepared for the Misty funny though that happened.
You see. I do funny things with anesthesia medicine. The first dose for "normal" people doesn't work for me. So they give me more. Then, its usually, not good things, like that puking your guts out stuff. I have never liked it. I don't care how much you prepare yourself mentally for this supposedly "happy juice", it never is quite happy for me.
This time. It was.
Upon completion of getting all my 4 wisdom teeth out and going through the process of after care, the medical team wanted to make sure that I had my instructions and all the items needed to take care of myself. They wanted to send me home with an ice pack. I told them in a drawl and a push and wave of the hand, "Nawwh, you don't need to, my girlfriends got peas!"
They looked at me like I had lost it. "Excuse me? Your girlfriends got peas?"
You see, my girlfriend had said that peas were the best ice pack. They work the best. I remembered this. She told me she had plenty and no need to bring ice packs with me, she had me covered.
I confirmed, yah, she's got peas. I didn't explain. I figured they knew what I meant. They still laugh at me. We still laugh when we remember me hanging out with them for a few days.
What funny memory do you have?
Yah. I am going to share one of those funny moments with you. Course you won't hear me say it in my own words, with the inflection, but I will do my best to describe it to you.
I had my wisdom teeth out April 2010. One of my girlfriends wanted to take care of me. She was happy when all my "moms" were out of town and couldn't. She said it just wasn't fair that she hadn't had her chance. Well now she did. I don't think she was prepared for the Misty funny though that happened.
You see. I do funny things with anesthesia medicine. The first dose for "normal" people doesn't work for me. So they give me more. Then, its usually, not good things, like that puking your guts out stuff. I have never liked it. I don't care how much you prepare yourself mentally for this supposedly "happy juice", it never is quite happy for me.
This time. It was.
Upon completion of getting all my 4 wisdom teeth out and going through the process of after care, the medical team wanted to make sure that I had my instructions and all the items needed to take care of myself. They wanted to send me home with an ice pack. I told them in a drawl and a push and wave of the hand, "Nawwh, you don't need to, my girlfriends got peas!"
They looked at me like I had lost it. "Excuse me? Your girlfriends got peas?"
You see, my girlfriend had said that peas were the best ice pack. They work the best. I remembered this. She told me she had plenty and no need to bring ice packs with me, she had me covered.
I confirmed, yah, she's got peas. I didn't explain. I figured they knew what I meant. They still laugh at me. We still laugh when we remember me hanging out with them for a few days.
What funny memory do you have?
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Day 5 Writing Goals
Day 5: Blog writing = 336 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
work never hurt a body
One of the lines I heard the most growing up was:
Mom would say that to us when we would complain about the number of chores that we had to do. Or when we disliked the task. Or when we would state "We never get to play."
I believe my Mom new what she meant when she said that. Like really new it.
We grew up working hard. No, we were not raised out on a farm with all those types of chores, but believe me, we had our own routine of chores. Chores assigned to every day of the week. We rarely had many chores assigned to Sunday's, but they still felt like work because we had to listen to long intense bible studies with Dad or those forced family times of games. It was work, in a different way. Special chores to each month, each season. If all else fails and you were "extra naughty" you got more chores. Lots more chores!!!
We did chores all the time. We rarely had play time. Play time was to be considered a commodity and a scarcity and we learned to love work. Really love work. We learned to value the good in work, the achievement that came from the results, the way to view good work and excellent work. We were taught to critique our own work, closely critique it.
I believe this plays a big role into why I love to work and work so hard.
It also plays a role in why I am having to relearn that work, too much work without enough rest, can truly hurt a body.
I know it is probably one of the contributing reasons I struggle with Adrenal Fatigue issues. I know it is one of the reasons I am so dedicated to my clients. I know it is one of the reasons I can't say no.
At 37, I still haven't really learned this, but I am trying before its too late.
Work never hurt a body!
Mom would say that to us when we would complain about the number of chores that we had to do. Or when we disliked the task. Or when we would state "We never get to play."
I believe my Mom new what she meant when she said that. Like really new it.
We grew up working hard. No, we were not raised out on a farm with all those types of chores, but believe me, we had our own routine of chores. Chores assigned to every day of the week. We rarely had many chores assigned to Sunday's, but they still felt like work because we had to listen to long intense bible studies with Dad or those forced family times of games. It was work, in a different way. Special chores to each month, each season. If all else fails and you were "extra naughty" you got more chores. Lots more chores!!!
We did chores all the time. We rarely had play time. Play time was to be considered a commodity and a scarcity and we learned to love work. Really love work. We learned to value the good in work, the achievement that came from the results, the way to view good work and excellent work. We were taught to critique our own work, closely critique it.
I believe this plays a big role into why I love to work and work so hard.
It also plays a role in why I am having to relearn that work, too much work without enough rest, can truly hurt a body.
I know it is probably one of the contributing reasons I struggle with Adrenal Fatigue issues. I know it is one of the reasons I am so dedicated to my clients. I know it is one of the reasons I can't say no.
At 37, I still haven't really learned this, but I am trying before its too late.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Day 4 Writing Goals
Day 4: Blog writing = 1052 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
why I don't feel the need for family
This post may seem strange to you. But I think if you listen me out, you might see a glimpse into why it isn't strange.
I have thought about writing on this topic before. I haven't because I didn't want to make things difficult for those who might be relatives and family that follow my blog. I haven't because I know many people may not share my viewpoint, may adamantly disagree, or possibly even vehemently detest, may feel I am cold and heartless...but I decided I can't let that stop me from sharing. I can't let your viewpoint, disagreements, or opinions about me or what I write keep me from sharing.
You know I don't write for what your viewpoint is. I write from mine. If you know me well, you know I write to encourage and share the things I face on this courageous journey. If you can appreciate it from that perspective, you will get a glimpse into my heart and mind. If you only see what you think is right, you will miss an opportunity to connect with me because I am done with "what everyone else thinks is right".
Deep breath. Gods got this.
My Dad was one of two children. My Mom was one of six children. I am the oldest of three children. From that connection alone, I have lots, and lots, and lots of family. Then you get into first cousins, second cousins, third cousins, aunts, uncles, extended aunts and uncles (the first removed and second removed aunts and uncles), and the number of people I am connected to is endless. I have gobs and gobs and gobs of relatives!!! I have never even attempted to count how many, it is enormous.
Having grown up in "the assembly" my entire life, many times people thought I had no family because I didn't live where family lived. They thought I was an "outsider" like them, coming into a group with no connections. When they learned of the extent of my family it usually made them sad because they didn't have any and were hoping to find a connection with me that way.
But I have never felt I had family. Family to me were people you knew, beyond that they were aunt or uncle so and so and where they lived. They were people you went and visited, people who you spent time with often. People who loved you. People who reached out and connected to you. People who came over for visits to your house too. People who shared their lives with you by calling and writing. People who understood that you were part of the blood line and were pretty special.
This was my mental vision and to some degree the definition I had placed on what was family. And since everything I experienced on a physical level was far from that type of family, I just don't relate to being excited about family.
Yes, some of this comes from the fact that granpa's and granma's weren't apart of my life due to "church discipline" or "walking wordly and not the way we approve". That wasn't all of it. There were other reasons we were not apart of other family, due to differences of opinions, heated arguments, lack of acceptance over my mom's health conditions, etc.
I never felt special. I never felt loved. I felt very disconnected. I felt very ostracized. I felt very much an outcast. Not just by my own immediate family, but by my relatives. No, we were not the ones marked, but we weren't on good terms with so many of the relatives that all relationships were strained. We had little to no contact with them the entire time growing up.
I hence can't relate to those who have great families. To those who want to go see their families. I still think it is really cool, part of me still questions if it is real or fake, but regardless I believe somewhere there are authentic families.
When the opportunity came for me to get reconnected in 2008 with my granpa and granma on my Mom's, I made the most of it, very nervous with apprehension and fear. After several hours of lectures from my granpa, I decided that door needed to remain closed. One visit with them was all I could emotionally do and I needed to leave things were they were. There wouldn't be more of a relationship under those kinds of terms. The relationship was damaged and beyond repair without intervention from God. When I visited cousins and tried to connect us all together, there were still inside jokes and talk about things they had in common where I wasn't apart of their lives on such a level that it made you feel like you didn't belong. Their continued interaction through social media is different and many times was hurtful in how they miss each other and comment on each others posts. I realized I wanted something I wouldn't ever be able to have with them. When extended family was very judgmental on how much I work, where I spend my time, how busy I am, what I do or don't do for my Mom, and really just can't see the truth of the situation of my home life, and freely gave opinions about what I should do to be different - even when it wasn't wanted or needed; I realized that I was forcing relationships and wanting people to see my world as God sees it.
Some people just can't.
I wanted the family I never had and realized it didn't exist.
When I accepted this, I realized that I don't need family. I haven't ever had it. I have lived alone, during my childhood without family, and away from my 'home" for over 16 years now. My life is peaceful, without drama, and full of people that love me. I have God and I have many encouraging friends. I don't need family. I have all that I need in my circle of friends and for me, it is way more than family. It is my world.
{Please note: not everyone that is family falls into this post, but the majority of them do. I am sorry to say it, but it is the truth.}
I have thought about writing on this topic before. I haven't because I didn't want to make things difficult for those who might be relatives and family that follow my blog. I haven't because I know many people may not share my viewpoint, may adamantly disagree, or possibly even vehemently detest, may feel I am cold and heartless...but I decided I can't let that stop me from sharing. I can't let your viewpoint, disagreements, or opinions about me or what I write keep me from sharing.
You know I don't write for what your viewpoint is. I write from mine. If you know me well, you know I write to encourage and share the things I face on this courageous journey. If you can appreciate it from that perspective, you will get a glimpse into my heart and mind. If you only see what you think is right, you will miss an opportunity to connect with me because I am done with "what everyone else thinks is right".
Deep breath. Gods got this.
My Dad was one of two children. My Mom was one of six children. I am the oldest of three children. From that connection alone, I have lots, and lots, and lots of family. Then you get into first cousins, second cousins, third cousins, aunts, uncles, extended aunts and uncles (the first removed and second removed aunts and uncles), and the number of people I am connected to is endless. I have gobs and gobs and gobs of relatives!!! I have never even attempted to count how many, it is enormous.
Having grown up in "the assembly" my entire life, many times people thought I had no family because I didn't live where family lived. They thought I was an "outsider" like them, coming into a group with no connections. When they learned of the extent of my family it usually made them sad because they didn't have any and were hoping to find a connection with me that way.
But I have never felt I had family. Family to me were people you knew, beyond that they were aunt or uncle so and so and where they lived. They were people you went and visited, people who you spent time with often. People who loved you. People who reached out and connected to you. People who came over for visits to your house too. People who shared their lives with you by calling and writing. People who understood that you were part of the blood line and were pretty special.
This was my mental vision and to some degree the definition I had placed on what was family. And since everything I experienced on a physical level was far from that type of family, I just don't relate to being excited about family.
Yes, some of this comes from the fact that granpa's and granma's weren't apart of my life due to "church discipline" or "walking wordly and not the way we approve". That wasn't all of it. There were other reasons we were not apart of other family, due to differences of opinions, heated arguments, lack of acceptance over my mom's health conditions, etc.
I never felt special. I never felt loved. I felt very disconnected. I felt very ostracized. I felt very much an outcast. Not just by my own immediate family, but by my relatives. No, we were not the ones marked, but we weren't on good terms with so many of the relatives that all relationships were strained. We had little to no contact with them the entire time growing up.
I hence can't relate to those who have great families. To those who want to go see their families. I still think it is really cool, part of me still questions if it is real or fake, but regardless I believe somewhere there are authentic families.
When the opportunity came for me to get reconnected in 2008 with my granpa and granma on my Mom's, I made the most of it, very nervous with apprehension and fear. After several hours of lectures from my granpa, I decided that door needed to remain closed. One visit with them was all I could emotionally do and I needed to leave things were they were. There wouldn't be more of a relationship under those kinds of terms. The relationship was damaged and beyond repair without intervention from God. When I visited cousins and tried to connect us all together, there were still inside jokes and talk about things they had in common where I wasn't apart of their lives on such a level that it made you feel like you didn't belong. Their continued interaction through social media is different and many times was hurtful in how they miss each other and comment on each others posts. I realized I wanted something I wouldn't ever be able to have with them. When extended family was very judgmental on how much I work, where I spend my time, how busy I am, what I do or don't do for my Mom, and really just can't see the truth of the situation of my home life, and freely gave opinions about what I should do to be different - even when it wasn't wanted or needed; I realized that I was forcing relationships and wanting people to see my world as God sees it.
Some people just can't.
I wanted the family I never had and realized it didn't exist.
When I accepted this, I realized that I don't need family. I haven't ever had it. I have lived alone, during my childhood without family, and away from my 'home" for over 16 years now. My life is peaceful, without drama, and full of people that love me. I have God and I have many encouraging friends. I don't need family. I have all that I need in my circle of friends and for me, it is way more than family. It is my world.
{Please note: not everyone that is family falls into this post, but the majority of them do. I am sorry to say it, but it is the truth.}
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