trust God in the process

There is so much power in our words. There is power in the things we tell ourselves, internally, the dialogue inside our mind, the war within our hearts, the chatter about whether we believe we can achieve our dreams, whether we are worthy of our hearts desires or deserve these things we want, whether we are good enough for those around us, whether are strong enough to make it happen, whether we accept God is walking right beside us through every step of our journey, and the truth we decide to claim about ourselves, others, God and life.

Understanding this concept was something I developed the last 3 Years as I went through Counseling, then began working with Mentors and Coaches. Learning it and applying it to every aspect of my life has literally changed the results that I have in my life!!! It has become a tool I access daily to shift the energy of those things that happen around me and those things going on internally as I continue to change and become who God has called me to be.

You see, I was raised in an environment [both from my childhood and church group] where I was constantly told negative things. Put down. Belittled. Rejected.

Told things like: No man will ever want you. You are too sick to ever have children. You are not strong enough to lift that. You are too independent. You can't cook like your sister. You always sing off tune. You are too much of a perfectionist. You are too sensitive and wear your feelings on your sleeves. You spend too much time thinking. You are too driven. You ask too many questions. You aren't trying hard enough. You will never get A+ in every class. If you move from the desert, you will die within 2 Years. You will never make enough money to support yourself. You will never be successful as an Entrepreneur. You have too many opinions. You are a Woman and should not study God's Word. You are a Woman out of control. You are too intense, too bold, too aggressive.

Can I be anyone of these things? There are times I absolutely can. But are these the things I am at my core? No.

When you tell someone these kinds of things, do they fuel life? Fuel peace? Fuel joy? Fuel compassion? Fuel love? Fuel heart connection? Fuel a relationship? No. They feed hurt, emotional pain, resentment, fear, condemnation, regret, shame, guilt, build walls, create anxiety, disconnect, and ultimately a lack of feeling loved and accepted.

Learning to remove the lies and focus on the truth is something we all have to choose to do if we want to transform. If we want growth, we can't hold onto negativity. If we want to move past the chapter we are in, we have to be willing to release the things that are not truth and press into, hold onto, securely attach to the truths of who we are.

This is something God has shared with us in II Corinthians 10:5:

We are demolishing arguments and ideas, every high-and-mighty philosophy that pits itself against the knowledge of the one true God. We are taking prisoners of every thought, every emotion, and subduing them into obedience to the Anointed One. - The Voice translation

We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ, - AMP translation

Sometimes it takes great work at removing these seeds of doubt, uncertainty, questions that threaten to destroy your vision and focus.

Sometimes the pain in this process is of such magnitude that it causes physical, emotional, spiritual and mental challenges because it is so deep.

Sometimes the domino affect is horrific as it impacts the lives of others around you, who aren't willing to release you to this new transformed person, who resent your transformation, and who feel you are wrong to be different.

When you go through a program like I did in 2014 [it was called LiveBIG in Salt Lake City, Utah] and see the impact it makes on your life then, and then the ongoing ripple effect it has forever forward as you continue to uncover layer after layer of lies and replace them with truth, as you face all your fears, as you open up to change, as you accept who you really are, as you become more loving, you simply become a believer in the principals. And you want to see every other person in your life remove their bondage to fear, shame, guilt, and regret. You want to see them set free, in the abundant freedom that God gives them! You want to see them living life, really living and not just existing! You want to see them having hope!

Friends, trust God is doing a deep work in your heart in this process. Trust God to make the transformation so radical that the truth cannot be hid. Trust God to bring about the results He wants in your life. Trust God to bring people into your life and take people out of your life to assist you with this transformation. Trust God to help you see what is truth and what is a lie. Trust God to bring clarity out of the chaos and discernment to the conflict. Trust God to be with you in every step of the journey which means you need not have any fear.
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #Transformation#CreateTheLifeYouWant #LiveIntentionally

to love...

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. 
   - C. S. Lewis
#ChooseLove #BeVulnerable #ShareInEachOthersLives #BeLoving

understanding the conflict of laws

The other day I was having a conversation with a girlfriend I spent the day with, and she said to me, I do not understand why people in Texas are so rude and just cross the street where ever they want to and do not utilize a cross walk.

I shared with her that when I lived in California, their laws state that all Pedestrians must cross in the cross walk, otherwise they can get a ticket for jay walking and the cost is $250 and up.  I told her that when I moved to Texas in September 1997, the Drivers Education Booklet I had to read to obtain a Texas Drivers License, I learned that Pedestrians have the right away in Texas at all times.  This was a new concept to me.  I told her that I didn't know if the laws were the same, but I presumed they were and that this would explain why it was okay to do this in Texas, even if it logically makes sense to cross the street at an intersection or cross walk.

Sometimes it is hard to understand why laws are not all universal.  Why some people do things that we think are wrong, and yet for that area it isn't.

When I moved into my house here in 2007 after purchasing it, we had a long trailer that we had pulled as far into the driveway and garage as we could, but it still hung out into the road about a foot.  A police officer stopped when we were unloading and told us we had to move it to the street or move it further into the garage, which we couldn't do because of the boxes we were unloading into that space, as it is a violation to have your vehicle hanging out in the middle of the street.  It seem's strange that this would be the law when when you park your car on the street, it sticks out further then your driveway.  But I didn't want a parking ticket and so we moved the trailer to the street.

Sometimes what we think is okay, isn't.  Sometimes what seems to be reasonable, isn't.  Sometimes we have to change the way we do things to abide by the laws that are in that city or state, that maybe were not an issue somewhere else.

It has been a learning experience for me not to get defensive over what I think the laws are or when I assume laws I knew of in other states are the same laws in this state.  Learning to just simply ask for clarification so that I can do what I am supposed to do, is the simplest thing to do.  It is also a learning experience to understand that lack of knowledge about the laws doesn't keep you from responsibility.  This seems to be an oxymoron in many ways, but it is true.  You are not able to escape penalty or accountability or responsibility just because of a lack of education or knowledge.

Do you have a story on how you have had to learn new laws or the difference of one law from maybe the state you grew up in to where you live now?
#ADifferentPerspective #AskQuestions #LifeLessons

the impact of driving lessons on my life

In the 40 Days til I turned 40 I wrote letters every day to someone who made an impact in my life.  One of the letters I wrote was to my Driving Instructor having taking their course in Apple Valley, California when I was 15.  I believe that sometimes we do not stop and think about the people who have helped us become who we are and this is one person that has made an impact on my life!  The reality is that I utilize this training nearly every single day and I shouldn't have waited this long to write a letter to say thanks.  I don't have his address nor do I remember his name and I don't think I have any paperwork to even try to locate him, but I still did the exercise of saying Thank YOU and listening to my heart and mind as to why I am appreciative of his efforts in my life and why he will always be listed in my Circle of Influence, and I wrote the letter anyways.

You see, my Driving Instructor was a man, whom my Mother didn't like that I would be alone in the car with, for no reason then simply as she told him, she never lets her daughters go anywhere alone with men.  He told her basically that lady, no family members are allowed in the car with the student.  She can be with me or she can not do the course, those are the options as at this time, we do not have any female instructors. He explained that this was so that they could do concentrated training and not have input from other drivers who would potentially create conflict in verbal instruction or make the driver more nervous.  My Mother had no choice but to either abide by their policies or not let me get my Drivers Education to obtain my Drivers Permit.

My Driving Instructor was a guy who had a very matter of fact method in pointing out the reasons behind his instructions, clear in explaining the why behind how things needed to be done the way he had me do them, and the goal in learning to drive.  We got along very well.  He didn't praise me much, but he was thorough in critiquing my work.  Many of his examples and illustrations I remember to this day, because he made such an impact in my life.

One of them was that when you are entering the freeway through the on-ramp, the goal is that by the time you are ready to merge with traffic, you are going the speed of the highway, whatever that is. He made it clear that you needed to be looking over your left shoulder to the half of mile before the on-ramp to judge the speed of cars coming and be assessing the half of mile ahead of the on-ramp to see if there were brake lights.  He said the laws are clear that the person in the slow lane is supposed to let you in, even if they do not want to, they are supposed to.  He went on to say, but you will make them mad if they have to brake because you aren't at the speed you need to be at the point you merge.  This is your responsibility to keep the flow of traffic moving.  He stated most on-ramps have enough space for you to get close enough to the speed you need to be if you do it right.  It made sense to me and he made me practice it over and over and over.  However, if you evaluate most peoples driving patterns, they act scared to get on the freeway.  They are timid in merging.  They do not maximize the on-ramp and are slow at increasing their speed from the service road onto the on-ramp and then onto the freeway.  They do not approach this with this framework I was taught.  The truth is, they may never have had a Driving Instructor who gave them this instruction and may not be aware of what they are doing that could make their driving experience better.

Another lesson this Driving Instructor gave me was that if you people are passing you on the right when you are in the fast lane because you are not going fast enough for them, move over to a slower right hand lane.  He made it very clear that the law is "slower traffic keep right" and that it doesn't read, "slower traffic keep right unless you are going the speed limit".  He stressed being aware of the cars behind you at all times, not just the ones in front of you.

The rub came one day when I had a substitute Driving Instructor. I was going the speed limit in the fast lane and people were passing me, so I put my blinker on to move to a slower right hand lane. He tore into me and told me that I had every right to stay right where I was because I was going the speed limit and that if they wanted to exceed the speed limit, then they could go around me.  The fact of the matter is nobody drove the speed limit in that area of town and I was creating a hazard on the road as car after car passed me on the right.  It made me nervous and uncomfortable. I felt condemned for my choices to follow my regular Driving Instructors instructions. I was frustrated that I was making people angry at me and they were giving me dirty looks as they drove by.  But I had to sit in the fast lane and deal with it to not make my substitute Driving Instructor more upset.

But I learned a valuable lesson that day.

What if the substitute Driving Instructor had been my instructor the whole time I had taken this Drivers Education Course?  What if I hadn't had the training from this incredible man who not only explained the laws but gave me practical advice to keep peace on the roadways and to be a more kind and courteous driver?

As I drive today, many times I can get frustrated when the person in front of me isn't approaching the freeway on-ramp at a speed that is reasonable.  I have to remind myself: One, they may not have had the training I had.  Two, their are zoning out when they are driving and not intentionally engaged.  Three, they don't care.  Whatever reason it is, one of these or another, I have to consciously choose to give grace.  Being frustrated won't help one of us.

I made a lasting impression on my Driving Instructor.  One of the things my parents had requested that he give me in training was how to pull out of a tail spin if you were on a dirt road and about to loose control of the car.  They stated this is something they wanted me to know how to do.  He agreed to provide that training after all the rest of the training had been completed.  So the last day we had a lesson, with about 15 minutes left to our time, we hit a back road to get this training in. He told me to drive as fast as I could so we could get this in as he couldn't be late to his next appointment.  I tore off down the road, obviously exceeding the speed limit.  He looked over at me and said wow, you took me literally when I said drive fast and get me to a dirt road ASAP.  He said, don't look but how fast are you going?  I said, as fast as my Mom drives this road.  He said how do you know that? I said because I can tell by how fast the tumbleweeds are passing the car as we drive by!  He laughed and laughed and laughed.

We all have a chance to make an impact in sharing life lessons and to better someone else's life. It is a choice to provide instruction beyond the laws so that someone can be equipped to make decisions that help them live a better life.  Who will you impact today?
#TheSassyVoice #LifeLessons #CircleOfInfluence #BeDifferent #40DaysTil40 #40Letters40Days

some days, extra grace is required

Last Thursday, I posted on Facebook an "EGR Post".  Today, I want to explain my request for prayers so you can get a little bit of information about what has happening behind the scenes when I asked for prayer, and to help share a part of my life and the things I face daily in my business and things I have dealt with in my career for the last 20 Years. It will be a little long, I ask you to read it and reflect on your own life situations.

Last Thursday, I had a meeting with client that I have worked with for 5 Years, to discuss some issues with all appropriate parties with the goal to make our working situation better and for us to have a year without some of the stresses I continue to have to deal with. My clients response to these requests were twofold: One, could I please be a little more like Jesus and give grace? Two, that I am very difficult to work with because I am so stressed and don't make jokes. Three, they are paying me so it doesn't matter what I have to do when I am there, I am paid regardless.

This client is right, I am frequently stressed, and honestly, nearly always stressed when I work with them. Should I let my Clients actions keep me in a state of frustration, stress or anxiety on any level? No. Do I? Sometimes, more often then I wish, yes I do. Am I trying to change and be different? Yes. I am. I work with my Coaches and Mentors and read books on how to live through challenges and not let them take me down and out or affect my day. Do I never make jokes? No, I do, but being a High D on a DISC Profile Test, this isn't my strength or my focus. When I am in a work mode, I am very focused and driven. My employees will tell you: There is no fluff about Misty, she is black and white, all work. Would I be more fun if I wasn't stressed? Yes, we all are. There isn't one of us who is fun when we are stressed. I am not sure you can be stressed and fun at the same time, its two energies that would not co-exist well.

The truth is, I take my Clients situations to heart. I go all in and give my all in effort, time, energy, input, ideas, prayers and aim to give, above and beyond what my contract says I will do because I want to serve and help. I want them to have a thriving, successful, and business platforms that are abounding on all levels. I want them to have accurate data and to pass an IRS Audit without fail. I don't want them to have to face things my other clients have had to face. I want them to have a clear conscience when they go to sleep at night, knowing that they are doing the things they need to be doing to create the business and life that they want. I want them to live the principals they verbally tell me they agree to and with.

This year my word is simplicity and it is affecting everything I am putting my time and energy into. But no matter how much I work on me, there are some dynamics to my industry that are always stressful. Why?

Because the fact of the situation is this: This client, like others, maybe even you, are always trying to do things that do not follow IRS rules and regulations. Their goal is to spend money out of their business for personal reasons and yet claim it as a business expense. This is done to lower their tax liability and show less on a Profit & Loss Report. They blame Cash Flow as a reason they can't take a Salary, yet draw money out of their business whenever they want to on top of the personal expenses. [FYI: They are allowed to do Draws whenever they want to, this isn't illegal, however it is fraud to not take a paycheck and pay yourself what you would pay someone else to do your role]. They do not take a reasonable salary as the IRS says they need to do for someone in their role, which makes them owe significant taxes at Year End, and they have never set aside 25% of this for taxes and they are always frustrated every year when we file the previous years taxes. They get angry at me for this and yet they do not follow my recommendations year after year after year to avoid these consequences.

Is this my problem? No, it isn't. I've done my job to educate, instruct, teach and share the information. Do I make it my problem? I do. Do I cause myself stress, frustration, and difficulties for not letting my client simply reap what they sow and leaving it at that? Yes, I do. Does seeing this client live like this create peace? No, it creates stress. Do I need to just give it to Jesus? I do. I really do.

At this meeting, I asked to work with each others strengths. I asked to work with each others personality styles. I asked to plan ahead and have quarterly meetings like we have talked about for 5 Years. I asked to actually live within a budget that we discuss and try to create each January. I asked to have the list of items I leave each month provided for me when I come the next month. I asked to make changes to how we do things. I asked to be committed to following IRS rules and regulations. I asked to truly be Dave Ramsey fans like this client says they are. I asked to have mutual conversations more often to discuss issues and things that aren't working.

The result of this meeting is that my client walked out of the restaurant and left me and the assistant sitting there. And they never came back in. I was supposed to leave this meeting and go work in their office on last months accounting data.

Many of you think I have lots of courage. Many of you think I make communication look so easy. Many of you feel that my life is always so positive and that I never have to deal with negativity or drama. Many of you think I do not have fears. Many of you think lots of things...I am sharing with you today so you understand that I have my own situations to deal with and yet, my goal is to live what I encourage you to do.

I was shaking all over. I had to take 3 deep breaths to just try to gain composure. I had to say silent prayers and just think Jesus, Jesus, Jesus I need you. After the assistant and I wrapped up the meeting because it was clear we were not resuming, I left the table and went to the ladies room and cried. I went to my car and called a Prayer Warrior Friend and asked for them to pray with me right now, as my voice shook, my heart race and my mind dealt with fears, what if I lose this clients business and additional revenue? I asked Jesus to give me strength because I did not want to go to this clients office and work. I didn't want the stress nor did I want the drama. I felt my feelings and gave them space. I allowed myself to dread going to the office.

But I went anyways and kept my contract and commitment. I did my job even though my heart was not in it. I did what I knew Jesus wanted me to do. I went. I dropped my phone going into his office and shattered the camera screen. I posted to Facebook: 

EGR Day = extra grace required to make it through the day...I need you Jesus! Please bring a miracle. I have faith. I believe in your power.

I decided to release the tension from this meeting. I decided to focus on what was the next best thing I could do. I decided to not let the uncertainty of the moment stop me from being true to me, true to truth, true to the laws of the land. I decided to let my God work this problem out. I know he will!!! And for now, I still wait while He works behind the scenes to make this problem a spec in my journey.

Thank YOU for being my Friend. Thank YOU for praying for me on this day and for this situation. Thank YOU for letting me share my life with you. Thank YOU for believing in me when I am frustrated, stressed, and upset. Thank YOU for helping me grow through another layer of my own personal stuff. Thank YOU for loving me for who I am and not forcing me to be someone I am not. Thank YOU Jesus for being my strength.
#TheLifeOfMisty #EntrepreneurshipRocks #LifeChallenges #DontQuit#DoTheRightThing

I would have lost heart...again...

I would have lost heart...when my parents told me I was never welcome back in their home...unless I believed that I could have a better life for myself, one full of love, peace, harmony, joy, and happiness - the abundant life that God has given me, and to walk away after 20 years of abuse wasn't wrong.

I would have lost heart...when I shared how to have gratitude in the moment through painful experiences on a VLOG in November 2016 [something I truly believe in and live every single day], yet it offended one of my examples, though they never listened to the video and simply took the words of someone else that I was "talking about them", got offended and cut me out of their life completely and haven't made any effort to resolve this in the last 2 months [and yes, I have reached out multiple times]...unless I believed that real authentic loving relationships will talk through all conflict, will desire to be kind even when hurt, will work through the pain and restore healing, will be willing to love in the method and manner they wish to be loved, and when they can't or don't respond right - they will still be willing to forgive and try again because this is what God asks of us.

I would have lost heart...when I spent money I shouldn't have spent, bought things I didn't need, put my hope in things instead of relationships because of the emotional pain they caused me, made things a status of success because I was taught this was important, and ended up with $26k in Credit Card debt...unless I believed that I could do the hard work to change and become debt free with discipline and a budget.

I would have lost heart...when a girlfriend didn't agree with my method of dating, felt I was in the wrong relationship, believed I was making bad choices...unless I believed that God would guide me and direct me on how to walk my own path with the input of many individuals, not just the opinion of one person trying to make me live life her way.

I would have lost heart...when I was told by a Girlfriend [who had never met my Mother and only knew her through the things I had shared] that I was just like my Mother...unless I new the truth about myself, believed that I had the power to be different through learning from others, studying relationships, choosing to keep the good things and letting go of the bad, praying for direction, practicing different ways of living, remembering the things I didn't like and choosing to be different.

I would have lost heart...when clients went weeks and months not making payments for services I rendered...unless I learned the lesson that as along as I accepted that behavior and didn't talk through and create new boundaries and stick to the terms in my contract that there was a late fee if they didn't pay in 10 days, I would continue to have to accept being treated this way.

I would have lost heart...when life got messy, ugly things happened, hurtful things were said, chaos unraveled, people walked out of my life, finances got tight, health issues continued, many nights I couldn't sleep, and life consumed my heart and mind.

...unless.

Unless, I looked to Jesus!

Unless I asked Jesus:
- to help me through the dark moments
- to take my anxiety
- to bare my troubles on His shoulders
- to give me grace
- to help me sort through my pain, my hurt, my confusion
- to renew my lack of hope
- to help me see the good in these situations and to grow from it
- to lift my depression
- to resolve my frustration
- to give me clarity and wisdom to know how to fix my mistakes
- to show me how to love deeper, more fully, and openly when that was the last thing that seemed possible in these things...

Yesssssss...because of Jesus...

...I would have despaired and lost heart, unless I had not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord! ~ Psalm 27:13 AMP
#TheSassyVoice #DontQuit #KeepTheFaith #GodsPlan #HaveFaith#Believe

patience pays off

Sometimes we have to have extended patience. Like mega doses!!! Even when we think we have given something enough time to be resolved, we have to give it more, lots more. Sometimes we have to simply not give up and just keep being kind and fighting for something we know we deserve. Long after we want to quit. Long after we are extremely done with the whole deal. Sometimes we have to try a different route when the previous one isn't working.

You may or may not remember a post I did in August 2016 sharing with you the hassles I had been having with the Honda Dealership here in Burleson on my 2013 Honda Civic purchased March 2013, [yes, rapidly approaching 4 Years], over Prepaid Maintenance issues. The deal is simple: I paid for Prepaid Maintenance when I bought the car that was to last for 6 Years / 80k. Yet, every single time I went in, without fail, I was charged for Oil Changes, Filters, balance and rotation of tires, and stuff that I should not have been paying for! I would explain that I didn't owe this. I was told they didn't see this in the system. I would show them the "alert note" they put in their database that they had given me a copy of from a previous visit when they told me this would fix it. I was told that this department didn't have access to it or the service adviser forgot to check that or some other lame excuse. I would bring my 2013 Honda Civic File with me each and every appointment because I knew I was going to have to argue and prove my point. This is the only thing I could do to ensure that I would walk out with not owing a thing, after arguing about it, as long as I had my paperwork with me. If I forgot the paperwork, then I had to pay, then I had to submit paperwork to get a refund, which took weeks. There were times they said this or that wasn't covered and I would have to pay when I shouldn't, simply because I had argued all I could with the fine print and it was time to just walk away.

Believe me. This was exhausting. I was frustrated. I knew I could go to another Honda Dealership, because the Prepaid Maintenance goes to any Honda Dealership, but until my Prepaid Maintenance plan was loaded in the Honda Dealership system correctly, going somewhere else would not solve the problem.

I tried asking who I could talk to and attempt to go up the chain of command, not just talk to each and every service adviser each visit. I would attempt to ask who could help resolve this issue once and for all so that the next time I came I didn't have to fight and argue and bring my folder with all the details on my car with me, to prove I didn't owe anything. I talked to the gal that always texts me after each and every session, wanting to know if I had received excellent service and if there was anything else she could do for me, always asking and reminding me that if I got a survey in the mail that they would like it if I would please give them 5 stars. I let her know I wanted a survey and I hoped I got one because it would not be 5 stars and I would be glad to share. She then would ask details and I sent them along with screen shots and information. She always promised to get my concern and issue to the right department and that she would have someone call me. I never got emails or calls to follow up on this.

I finally reached my limit last August and I mailed 6 letters out to various individuals at the dealership, including my the guy who sold me the car who has become a great friend of mine, and to Honda Corporate Offices. I left negative reviews on every site online I could along with posting comments on social media and tagging their dealership and Honda in the posts. This got me call backs and some action, even from corporate, but not resolution.

I emailed the General Manager directly in August and he said he never got my letter. I scanned it in and sent it over to him along with copies of all the text messages between me and their Text Media Gal. I offered to do Customer Service Training for free to help them and their team, sighting other reasons things are amiss. I asked for compensation beyond just fixing the issue because it had gone on so long! I asked if we could have a meeting.

I am here to tell you that I got ALL that today. After 2.5 hours of waiting, and 1 hour of talking, we have come to an agreement and they have agreed my request for Prepaid Maintenance for life on my car is fair, on top of refunds for what I paid for that I should not have paid at the time of service. They admitted that they dropped the ball and they did not follow through, even after their last phone conversation with me in August when they told me that they would get back with me with a resolution and have this fixed.

Would you have fought 3 Years and 10 Months on something like this? Would you have kept trying to work it out despite the hassles and fighting and frustration?

Yes, sometimes my determination annoys people, but sometimes you have to just stay at it!

In the end, they thanked me for being kind, honest, patient, being reasonable, fighting fair and giving them a chance. The general manager gave me a big bear hug in the end. Some people might feel to fight like this is wrong, some people might have gotten ugly and made a scene, some people might have just taken their business elsewhere and cut their losses. I get it. The cost to me was too great.
#Patience #LifeIsAFight #StayFocused #HondaCivic #CustomerServiceFail#BeDifferent

will you give 2017 a clean slate?

I am choosing to walk into 2017 in simplicity, with peace, a clear heart and mind:

If you owe me for something, don't worry about repaying it, it is a Gift to You. I want to let you have it and keep it. No strings attached. And yes, you are welcome! Walk in Freedom.

If you wronged me, I have accepted it and am letting it do it's perfect work in me. God has used it as a lesson for me. I may not have learned it all, but it's part of my journey and He will make it all good. I trust that I will understand each lesson as I am supposed to.

If you're angry with me, you've won. But I'm truly sorry you are keeping this anger from creating a deeper connection between us.

If your harboring any type of ill feelings against me, you've succeeded at keeping them close in your heart and mind by not sharing it with me to make amends. I'd love for you to get this off your chest so we can begin anew.

If we aren't speaking and you don't want to hear from me, know this is your choice. But I will still love you.

If you feel I wronged you, please accept my "I am so very sorry." ... "I apologize." ... "I Love You." I want to restore and fix it, if you will let me listen and hear your side, I want to. It's never my heart to leave things in a bad shape or to hurt you. I most definitely can't fix something you do not give me a chance to resolve. Nor can I force you to see my side or share my perspective. But I would pray that you'd at least be willing to at minimum.

No mater what, life is way too freaking short for all the pent up feelings of holding of grudges, guilt, shame, anger, hurt, and staying in bondage!

I want more for you!!! I truly do love you and I want you to settle for MORE in your journey...I hope that we can do it together by starting 2017 with more peace, love and freedom!!!

Will you join me in spreading more love, creating a positive view, and freeing each other with a clean slate???

♡ ❤ ♡ 
#TheSassyVoice #2017Goals #ChooseLove #NewBeginnings#ADifferentPerspective

do you believe your comments don't matter?

I was at a function this past week and having a conversation with some individuals regarding my Social Media Break between Christmas and New Years and the reasons behind this.  As the group of us were discussing what people share on Facebook, how some use it to create relationships, why some people love Facebook, we particularly spent time talking about the objective of commenting or not commenting, one of the individuals said:  "I refuse to comment any more because in the end, my opinion doesn't matter and they do not want to hear what I have to say."

To be honest, I found this mental framework about relationships and communication disheartening.  I personally believe that comments online and offline do matter.  Even if you do not "feel" that the person wants to hear what you have to say.  Not just because Words of Affirmation is one of The Five Love Languages, but also because we are instructed to Encourage One Another and Build Each Other Up. [quote from Ephesians 5:11]  

Dialogue is how we create connection.  Asking questions is how we get to know someone.  Sharing our thoughts is how we get other perspectives.  Sharing ideas is how we can brainstorm. Sharing encouragement in word format allows someone to hear things that their heart needs.  Sharing a comment lets the other person know we heard them.

If I do not comment, I am not giving to the relationship.  If I do not comment, I am not allowing other perspectives to be shared.  If I do not comment, I am not adding ideas to someones world to be brainstormed about.  If I do not comment, I can't encourage someone.  If I do not comment, I can't let the other person know I heard them.

Yes, sometimes we will comment and the things we say will come out the wrong way, intentionally or unintentionally.  Our perspective won't be understood or appreciated.  Our ideas won't be received or accepted.  Our encouragement won't be seen as such.  And yes, we indeed may offend someone, deeply offend. 

Should I let the possibility of not feeding the relationship the way I want to in my heart stop me from communication?  Should I let the chance that everything goes the wrong direction from my communication stop me from commenting?

Not if I am focused on trying to create a connection, I won't let it.

This isn't heaven and even God isn't expecting me to be perfect.  I will say something that creates a ripple effect of both good and bad feelings. This is life.  This is part of the process of learning, growing and understanding each other.

Today I want to ask:  What if we did more to comment instead of just scroll through and like here and there on Facebook?  What if we did more to create a connection and relationship?  What if we just didn't create news or noise but actually had dialogue?  What if we dropped the fear on what people will think of our comments?  What if we truly engaged and created the relationships we all desire?

I want to be intentional in connecting.  I want to comment as often as I can.  I want my relationships to matter.  And because of that, I believe my comments matter.
#RelationshipsMatter #ThePowerOfChoice #BeDifferent #ADifferentPerspective

who do you want to be?

Someone says: She is a bitch.
The truth is: She is acting like a bitch, but that isn't her.
The double truth is: We ALL can act that way.
There isn't one of us that doesn't know how to be ugly, to be rude, to snap back. To say hateful, hurtful, demeaning things. There isn't one of us that can't dig in and find someones sore spot, take a knife and poke in harder. There isn't one of us that can't find a way to retaliate and add fuel to a burning fire and make it rage out of control. There isn't one of us that doesn't know how to give the silent treatment, turn a cold shoulder, or exclude someone,maybe even intentionally as payback.
But...it takes looking at those feelings, that each of us experience, when they come up and asking:
What is hurting deep inside of me that wants to be acting this way? Why am I shutting out love? What am I ignoring that needs attention? What has triggered me to feel this way? Do I really want to add to and endure more pain then what they've already experienced in this moment? What can I embrace and accept and let go?
Once you know the source of your pain, you can ask other thought provoking questions that will open up your heart:
Is this who I truly want to be in this moment? Or am I being something that isn't in line with the vision I have for myself?
Is this how I would want to be treated? Or is this just reacting to the way I have been treated?
Is this going to bring me life that creates further growth and expansion? Or is this going to bring me dead end results that creates additional hurt and destruction?
Is this helping me have love and peace? Or is this creating more negative energy, even if it has a cover of initial relief?
You get what you focus on. The energy that you put out is what comes back to you. So in the moment of choice...choose well. Choose life. Choose love.
#CreateTheLifeYouWant #LiveIntentionally #BeThePersonYouWantToBe #BeDifferent #ChooseLove

what if we LOVED each other more?

What if we LOVED each other more?  Really loved each other.

What if we didn't just say: I LOVE YOU as a Facebook comment, but actually showed in actions we loved someone?  

What if we took the time, to look someone in the eyes today and tell them what they meant to us?  How they contributed to or shaped our lives?  

What if when we got hurt, deeply hurt, by a comment or action or situation, we let that person know that we loved them and valued the relationship and that we were hurt instead of just walking away, unfriending someone, shutting them out, and by our actions proving to them that the relationship really didn't matter and we didn't and wouldn't love them?

What if we took the time today, to express all the strengths this person had and how they have blessed our life?  Instead of focusing on all the ways they could be a better person and had failed us or let us down?  What if we built the relationship up through the positives?

What if we took the time to notice the small things someone did to make our day run more smoothly?  To be a helper or assistant in a project we have going on?  What if we thanked them for this and expressed the positive impact and our appreciation of it instead of just casually saying Thank YOU?

What if when we felt at odds with someone, or disagreed with someone, or they were rubbing us the freaking wrong way and getting on our freaking nerves, or we simply just didn't like what they were doing, we choose to not shove them away, not build up walls, not act like everything was just fine, but made a conscious effort to actually bring them closer to us and love them through it?  What if we did the opposite of what we wanted to do and created a deeper connection?

What if we took the time to reflect on what love really looks like?  

What if we did more to show each other that we love?

What if we let love guide our every action?
#LoveOnPurpose #ChooseLove #BeLoving #RelationshipsMatter

a 7 Day Social Media Break

I took a 7 Day Social Media Break between Christmas Day and New Years. I debated about doing just 5 days, 7 days, 8 days or even extending it to a full 10 days. In the end, I went with 7 days.
I have been asked several questions around this, so I thought I would share them with you in case you have had them and just didn't have guts to ask them, along with my answers. It might help you to look at your own life and think about how you want to live.
Question #1: Why didn't you just temporarily delete your Facebook Account instead of leave it up during this 7 day escape?
Answer #1: My goal in every aspect of my life is to think about my actions and who I want to be. In my opinion, suspending or temporarily deleting my Facebook Account only is an action of drama and attention getting. It makes people panic that something happened to you. It makes people concerned that they can't get a hold of you if Facebook is their primary forms of connecting and messaging. It makes people assume things are wrong, bad, ugly. To avoid this, I simply did a post about what I was going to do and those that stay connected would see it. If someone was missing me, or didn't see the post, this would give them a chance to go to my wall to see the last post I made before this break and see why I was not on. And it would answer their questions.
Question #2: What made you decide to do this Social Media Break?
Answer #2: I felt a need to have some intense quiet time. To do some internal reflections and seek clarity on some answers I want. I look at my mind and body as a computer that is hard wired and deeply connected to many things. I live it in high gear a lot of the time, and sometimes it just needs a reboot, a control alt delete move that resets and unplugs everything. Literally. I felt that I needed to take action on a method to enforce that. I felt a longing for quiet and to step away from everything. Completely. I wanted to take a key lesson that impacted my life from the #MinimalismFilm where one of the people interviewed said: Just Stop. Stop. I took this advice and applied it to another area of my life.
Question #3: Is this the first time you have ever done a Social Media Break?
Answer #3: Yes and No. The only times I have been away from Social Media was when I went on my Singles Cruise November 2014 for 5 days. I have gone on Vacations since where I didn't check my Instagram or Facebook News Feed, but still posted what I was doing. This was different because I wasn't posting (other than the business pages I manage each day and have to post to and sending Facebook Birthday wishes to each person, I never checked my Facebook Feed). This was different because it was a choice to be intentional about not being on Social Media. So in many ways, yes this was my first time of doing something like this. But I can promise you it will be something I do again.
Question #4: What did stopping Social Media do for you?
Answer #4: It allowed me to focus on being quiet, spending more time writing Letters to God each day, praying, meditating, spending time thinking, writing out ideas and plans for 2017, and sleeping extra. It made me spend time thinking about some questions, think more about the very thing I ask of you: How do you I want to create my life? Am I living intentionally? What do I want from my moments on Social Media? Am I getting out of it what I am putting into it?
Question #5: How did you have the discipline to take a Social Media Break when you clearly love it?
Answer #5: It is like other things in life. When I make a commitment to myself, I go all in. I don't do anything halfheartedly. I want to honor this break and keep my word. I want to follow through at it at 100%. I didn't want to feel like I was cheating, because if I did, the only person it would hurt was myself.
Question #6: How did you ensure that you didn't on Social Media?
Answer #6: I removed the Folder I have on my home screen on my Android phone that has all Social Media Platforms: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, SnapChat, Periscope, etc. I moved it to another screen on my phone. In fact, I removed all apps from my home screen. This forced me to not see any alerts or details at all when I picked up my phone which helped me to stay committed to my break from all these platforms. I also left my phone on silent the entire week. I didn't want to feel the need to respond or connect with anyone until it was something that I felt I wanted to do.
Question #7: What are your nuggets from this Social Media Break?
Answer #7: I have three of them.
7a: The world will go on without you. When I make this following statement, it is not for sympathy or attention or to make you feel any quilt, it is simply is the facts. Only 2 people reached out to let me know they missed me. Do I believe that only 2 people missed me? Not at all. I have too much engagement on here for me to believe that, but at nearly 2000 Facebook Friends, this made me realize that the bulk of us are not being intentional in our relationships, friendships and connections, on or off line. I get it and I think I understand why. But I want to be different. And when I say I want to be different, it is more then just a statement about what I want but more of a commitment to how I will live. I do not just want to be putting more noise out there. I want to make sure that I am creating the relationships, friendships and connections on all levels that matter to me. It allowed me to reflect on what these would look like, what key elements are needed, how I can help them to increase my growth, and what and how I will make them different in this New Year.
7b: There are no words to what unplugging completely and doing a reset does for you. Removing all noise. All distraction. All busyness. All steady streams of connections. I highly recommend it!
7c: The reality is that a reset forces you to reassess what your priorities are and how you will achieve them, even when you feel you are intentional about doing this every day. It made me focus on how I need to live to take care of me, first. It made me remember that life is short, really short, and time flies but it is up to me to make time stand still. The quality of our life comes from our simply daily choices.
#LifeLessons #ADifferentPerspective #ThePowerOfChoice #TheReasonBehindTheWhy #SocialMediaBreak #CreateTheLifeYouWant #LiveIntentionally

Prayer 01.02.2017

Dear Lord,

As we begin this #NewYear may we deeply remember that we have brand new mercies each day. New opportunities. New paths. Our slate gets wiped completely clean. We don't have to hold onto guilt, shame, regret or fear. We can move forward with increased faith, boldness and bravery. You are with us!!! We can walk in new outlooks. New routines. New chapters.

I ask that you help keep our focus to be intentional in the way we live our lives, the people whom we connect with and how we create relationships. That we remember each and every day is a gift and what we do with it when we open it is our choice. You give us a choice in how we live our lives and our results are directly related to how connected we are to you, how we live with courage and hope, how resilient we can stay to the daily fight.

May we focus on choosing to "Settle for More" [read Megyn Kelly's book] and living the abundant life you have given each of us. May we not loose heart in any experience we are facing in life. May we not be defeated by the challenges and struggles, but see them as opportunities to grow and be overcomers.

As each of us pick out a word for 2017 to be our theme, or set new goals to achieve in 2017, or ways we want to transform our lives for 2017, may we do so with a heart that seeks you first in everything, stopping in the moments when we feel overwhelmed to just take a breath and ask you for help, to take a moment and refocus on the vision we have for our lives that comes from you, to ask you for wisdom, guidance and strength, to renew our purpose and passion for life. May we be relentless in this.

A Daughter of The One True King Embracing the New Year, Misty Gilbert
#TheSassyVoice #Pray #PrayerChangesLives #PrayForOneAnother#PrayerWarriors

20 TIPS for a POSITIVE NEW YEAR by Jon Gordon

20 TIPS FOR A POSITIVE NEW YEAR
By Jon Gordon

Updated for 2017

1. Stay Positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can trust that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.

2. Take a daily "Thank You Walk." It will create a fertile mind ready for success.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and less foods manufactured in plants.

4. Talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself. Instead of listening to your complaints, fears and doubts, talk to yourself and feed your mind with words of truth and encouragement.

5. Post a sign that says "No Energy Vampires Allowed." Gandhi said, "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet."

6. Be a great team member. When you help your team improve, you improve.

7. Don't chase success. Decide to make a difference and build meaningful relationships and success will find you.

8. Get more sleep. You can't replace sleep with a double latte.

9. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.

10. You don’t have to be great to serve but you have to serve to be great. Look for opportunities to Love, Serve and Care.

11. Live your purpose. Remember why you do what you do. We don't get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it.

12. There's no such thing as an overnight success. Anything worthwhile takes time to build.

13. Trust that everything happens for a reason and expect good things to come out of challenging experiences.

14. Implement the No Complaining Rule. If you are complaining, you're not leading.

15. Read more books than you did in 2016. I happen to know of a few good ones. : )

16. Don't seek happiness. Instead live with love, passion and purpose and happiness will find you.

17. Focus on "Get to" vs "Have to." Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation.

18. The next time you "fail" remember that it’s not meant to define you. It’s meant to refine you.

19. Smile and laugh more. They are natural anti-depressants.

20. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it.