walking out the tension in life

There are times in our lives that it seems easier to just start over. To cut all ties with something or someone that is making life difficult.

To scrap the project and throw it away. To not fix what is broken. To put it out of sight on a shelf, or better yet, just hide it. To just walk out.

But most things do not resolve themselves this way. You can attempt to do this, but the problem will fester and resurface. The ramifications to such actions generally follow you. The lesson that you need to learn will come back another time, over and over in different situations until you learn it.

Yet, there are sometimes you have to burn the bridge. You have to run and not look back. You have to wipe the slate completely clean leaving no trace of chalk.

Sometimes, you can't spend time or energy trying to figure out what parts are needed and how to fix something. You can't look for clues to figure out what was written on the chalk board the day before to figure out the formula to the problem. You can't keep trying to find the right key to fit the lock you just got to get a new one.

This is the tension in life.

Knowing when to let go and when to hang on. When to try harder and when to quit. When to keep forging on ahead being patient and when to shout mercy, I can't do this.
You will always be asking the question when to start, when to pause, and when to stop...this is life.

Sometimes you just have to ask the question to find the answer. It is there. And every day it awaits you with a choice: Will you let today be a brand new day?
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #Start #Pause #Stop #CleanSlate #BrandNewDay

how is your faith journey?

The journey of life takes faith.  

It takes faith to uncover your next step.  It takes faith to be willing to ask for help.  It takes faith to be disciplined to do the things you know to do.  It takes faith to say no to the things that aren't meant for you in this chapter.  It takes a faith to stay focused, strong, and persevere through every season that comes your way.  It takes faith to take care of your body.  It takes faith to ask empowering questions.  It takes faith to have courage.  It takes faith to believe.  It takes faith to create hope.  It takes faith to be who you are called to be.  It takes faith to feed your purpose.  It takes faith to see your potential.  It takes faith to share love.  It takes faith to not stay stuck in pain.  It takes faith to create a vision.  It takes faith It takes faith to move beyond today.

Will you increase your faith?
#TheSassyVoice #HaveFaith #Faith #LifeIsAJourney 

what's created your success?

All of us are looking for ways to be able to be successful in our lives. Frequently, we will sit down and ask someone, what do you feel has been the most contributing factor to your success in life?

I love learning from other people. I love learning what the keys are that have made them achieve the results they want in their life. I love being able to improve what I am doing by shifting my thoughts on something, learning a different approach, understanding another perspective, being shown how to do something more effectively, or simply learning something new.

For me, I would say it is this: 

Simple disciplines done consistently over time produce results.

I was on a call two weeks ago with a client and shared with them that thought and how much it has changed my world, letting them know that they can get through this rough spell by changing some patterns and paradigms and working to create disciplines that they do consistently.

This truly has been one of my key's to success in life. Creating processes on how I do things and always following through with being diligent to do them every single day, week, month has created phenomenal results from sleep patterns, to saving money, to an exercise routine, to cultivating friendships, to the number of books I read every year, to learning new skills, to anything and everything you can think of.

This client asked me when I came up with that quote. The fact is, that quote isn't mine. It is from one of my absolutely favorite books called: The Slight Edge. that I read at least once every single year. I always get something out of the book or refresh myself on principals that are important and so it is one of my books I make sure I keep active in my library. I had my own version of a quote similar that I used previously to reading this book, but this one to me says it so much better that I dropped mine: Creating routines and being disciplined to do them is what generates success.

What would you say has been a key to helping you create the life you want? To help you achieve results? To get the success you desire in your own life?
#TheSassyVoice #CreateTheLifeYouWant #SimpleDisciplines #TheSlightEdge

where did you get your sassy voice?

Have you ever been in a situation that you swear your eyes are open, but you can't believe what you are seeing? Maybe you even shake your head and make sure you aren't living in a dream? Maybe you even look around to see if anyone else is watching, because the whole situation has stolen your breath away and you can't breath. Not a lick of air, and it isn't because you don't need air, you need it now more then ever, you just are afraid of how things are going to turn out. Maybe even it feels like everything is happening in slow motion and you can remember ever little detail of how it all happened.

This is how I felt the day my Mom was frustrated in traffic and unable to go as fast as she wanted to in the fast lane because of some people who wouldn't even drive the speed limit. She couldn't pass on the right hand side because there were vehicles there, and there were too many vehicles behind her for her to slow down further to try to find a gap to merge into a different lane and go around. So after driving miles like this and her anxiety growing, she decided she was done with that game, and she took off to the shoulder to the left of the fast lane, and zoomed right past a whole pack of people leaving all of them in the dust!!! It wasn't a lane, it was the side of the road where you would park if you were having mechanical issues with your vehicle. On top of that, she did this going up the mountain that we called "The Hill", traveling from San Bernardino, California to Apple Valley, California.

Us kids looked at each other like this is scary, and yet kinda fun at the same time to see my Mom leave peeps in the dust, literally. But then, we wondered what if there had been a police man behind her or just up ahead when she did this? What would she have done to get out of this?

My Mom was someone who raised us with very black and white rules, extremely clear expectations, full understanding of all laws and rules, and she expected you to do everything you knew to do and if you weren't, she would point it out to you. Yet, as I grew older and got an understanding of life and things better, I saw the discrepancy in how she lived what she believed. I would sometimes be brave to ask questions, risking more ridicule, demeaning comments, humiliation, manipulation, control, shame, guilt, abuse, condemnation, even with the deep fear I had in my heart and mind, many times shaking all over.

We would have discussions around things like this as I tried to learn her perspective. She disapproved of me asking questions and felt I was being a threat to her authority, she disliked me pointing out the things I felt I was seeing that were full of hypocrisy, she hated my ability to think things through logically and proactively with the ability to disclose emotions for facts, but yet she could honestly tell I was wanting to try to understand and piece things together even though she hated it. More times then not, she told me that when I was an adult, I would have a better understanding of life and things like this and be able to see the differences. Or she would tell me that I was messing in her business that I had no business asking about. Or she would argue with me and justify why she was right and I was wrong.

So this situation was one of those times, I asked her what she would have done if there had been a policeman around. And like usual, she had an excuse for why what she did was right because they were not going the speed limit and slower traffic is supposed to be on the right. She said she wasn't being sneaky so what she did wasn't wrong.

I for years never knew what benefit I got from these childhood experiences until I worked with one of my Coaches and we were uncovering things about my personality and skill sets and working through some of my childhood trauma experiences.

It was through this work that I realized how I got the skill to see things from different perspectives and ask the tough questions in tense situations.

I realized the 20 Years I had experience in this environment is what prepared me to work with doctors, insurance companies, business owners, and yes, even employees.

I knew deep in my heart this is what to this day gives me the ability to write hard things on my blog and share things here on Facebook.

It is the reason I get asked to confront someone and bring to their attention the truth when nobody else will.

The experience of dealing with ridicule, demeaning comments, humiliation, manipulation, control, shame, guilt, abuse, condemnation, even with the deep fear I had in my heart and mind, is what has given me the ability to help those in the same spot.

I couldn't be who I am today without this life's experiences.

Today, when I share my sassy voice, I may still do it shaking all over, but I do it anyway because I know I am called to. I may at times have fear of loosing friends because I have lost 2 very close girlfriends in a span of 2 Years, but I know deep in my heart that those that operate from a space of love will want to work out a relationship and see things through different perspectives will, even if we walk away with different beliefs because love never ever fails. I know that when I am focused on the vision and my purpose, I do not have to have fear of the outcome of sharing my voice or that what I write will come back to bite me. When I apply myself to truth and love, desiring to make a ripple effect in the world like in one drop of water, all that matters is the one person my words can help to breakthrough their limiting beliefs and feelings that are keeping them stuck in fear, shame, guilt and regret. I know that my true mission is to encourage, support and inspire them to be courageous, generous and loving. My previous experiences sharing my voice give me confidence knowing that I can do it again today, no matter the ridicule, demeaning comments, humiliation, manipulation, control, shame, guilt, abuse, condemnation, and fear others try to put on me each of us has a choice in how we share in each others lives and what we do to build each other up.

Have you ever stopped to look at your childhood experiences and see how they have shaped your life today? Have you ever gotten a clear picture of how God is using those horrible things for good in your life? If you haven't, I would love to encourage you to do this.
#TheSassyVoice #TheLifeOfMisty #MyStory #ShareYourVoice #YouMatter #RippleEffect #ADifferentPerspective #LifeHappensForYouNotToYou

expectations or grace

What are your core values?  What are important characteristics to you in a relationship?  Are you acting in alignment with these in how you relate to other people?

If you want a client to pay you on time for services you rendered to them, do you pay your vendors on time?

If you desire to be treated with respect, even when there is a disagreement, conflict or challenges, do you treat others with respect when you disagree, have conflict or challenges?

If you hate being interrupted in a conversation, do you make sure that you do not interrupt someone you are talking to?

If you really dislike people who screen their calls and make you leave a voicemail, do you screen your calls and make people leave voicemails?

If you want someone to return your text messages promptly, do you return text messages promptly?

We are mirrors of the very things we approve of, like, disapprove of and dislike in other people.  Looking at our own lives and addressing the things that we don't like, that irritate us, and bother us is the only way we can change.  Asking myself, is this thing that is irritating me something I do to others?  Is critical in helping me look at myself and either change or give more grace.
#TheSassyVoice #ADifferentPerspective #Authenticity #Expectations #Grace

the puzzles of life

I grew up putting together jigsaw puzzles with my family. Typically, the pieces were put out on this special table my mom had refinished and we would work on them as a family during the winter months. It was something we were required to do to create family time in the evenings and on the weekends. We would be allowed to go do our own thing after spending at least an hour working on it with everyone else. If we wanted to continue doing it after that, we could. We sometimes were given tasks to sort the pieces by color, get them all right side up, put corners & edges together, etc. We didn't always have discussions when we worked on them, but sometimes we did. My dad rarely talked. He always had headaches, was always irritated and frustrated. My mom would either be very chatty or she was angry or she was feeling sick.

In thinking about putting puzzles together, and I had these thoughts: Sometimes you don't understand what the picture is supposed to look like until you get all the pieces together. Sometimes it takes longer to put together then you originally thought it would to assemble. Sometimes you spend time looking for the right piece and you can't find it, no matter how hard you look. Sometimes you have to realize you have spent enough time searching for the puzzle piece and you just have to walk away and give your eyes a break so you can come back later and make more progress on it. Sometimes the puzzle is harder then another one you have done because so many of the pieces look exactly alike. Sometimes you pick out a piece and are sure it is just the right one and will fit perfectly only to find out that it is totally off. Sometimes you end up with a missing piece to the puzzle and you can't complete it. Sometimes the puzzle just doesn't seem fun to put together, it seems to be taking a lot of work and this wasn't what you had in mind. Sometimes you zone out as you are putting the puzzle together and you wonder how long you were sitting there looking at that piece and it isn't even the right one. Sometimes once you get the puzzle all put together, you see the bigger picture, the beauty in all the pieces and can experience the feeling of a job well done.

I think life is like a jigsaw puzzle.

Sometimes life just doesn't make sense and you get to the next chapter and start seeing all the chapters come together. Sometimes situations takes longer resolve then you originally thought they would. Sometimes you spend time looking for the answers and trying to get help, and no matter how hard you look you can't seem to figure stuff out. Sometimes you just have to walk away and give things a rest so you can come back and have renewed energy to do the work. Sometimes it seems like the harder you try to figure out the truth and what is a lie, the more it all just looks like a big mess. Sometimes you make a decision thinking it will be the best one, and find out later that it created more problems then it helped. Sometimes things just go missing and you never find what you need. Sometimes life doesn't seem fun, and in fact it is just a bunch of grind, day in and day out. Sometimes you stare out the window, lost in thought, or you are sitting at a stop light, starring into the sun and someone behind you honks because it was way past time you got yourself moving. Sometimes once you get past a few chapters, you see the bigger picture and the beauty in all the challenges and trials you have faced, how strong you were to make it through them and just really what a beautiful life you have.

Yes, sometimes life is like a jigsaw puzzle. But we have a choice in how we look at the process of putting a jigsaw puzzle together just like we get to enjoy the journey of life. Sometimes it simply comes to shifting our focus and choosing something different in that moment that gives us the energy to get through the situation.

How will you apply the strategy of a jigsaw puzzle to your life today? What lessons do you feel a jigsaw puzzle has for you?
#TheSassyVoice #LifeLessons #PracticalApplication #ADifferentPerspective #PuzzlesOfLife #ThePowerOfChoice

word for 2016: Permission

Some people pick a word for their year and focus on it. Every time I have thought of doing this, I have gotten stuck. Feeling like I didn't have the capabilities to know how to do this. Until last year. As I reflected on my journey, the lessons that were coming my way, worked with my Mentors and Coaches, it became very evident that the lesson was PERMISSION.

I am learning to give myself permission.  

Permission to say No.
Permission to say Yes.  
Permission to be Me.  
Permission to create the life I want.  
Permission to love me.  
Permission to follow my dreams.  
Permission to quit doing something I have done for years (specifically Medical Billing - closed this line of service out 12.31.2016 after 20 Years in the industry).  
Permission to have joy and happiness in everything.  
Permission to make work fun, not a duty.  
Permission to believe I have options and choices.  
Permission to rest.  
Permission to take sick days.  
Permission to not be a door mat.  
Permission to be different.
Permission to share my voice.  
Permission to live without judgement.  
Permission to be vulnerable on an even deeper level.  
Permission to create an  Adopted Family.
Permission to let go of Friends.  
Permission to acknowledge my enemies.
Permission to settle for more.

What will you give yourself permission to do?
#TheSassyVoice #Permission #WordOfTheYear #YearInReview
for  more.es

prayer changed me

Things happen in life that sometimes we do not have the answer for. Sometimes we do not know why we are lead to do something. Sometimes all we have to do is answer the call. We really just need to live more focused on the vision, staying attentive to being intentional in each moment of the day, and connected to our hearts purpose and let things come about as they should. Because they will. All the little pieces come together and you will be right where you need to be at the right time.

I was raised in a "christian" home. I put it in quotes, because in my opinion, it is and it was a label. My parents said they believed in God, but did nothing to really trust Him. They told me to pray, but didn't show me how to pray. They shared lots of principals from the Bible on how we were "supposed" to live. They pointed out everyone else's faults and how they could do something better or how it should be done different. Both of my parents lived in anxiety, deep fear, and lacked peace. When I asked on how to have a relationship with God, I was told to read the Bible. I was told to pray, but never shown really how to pray. As a family, the only time my parents prayed was at dinner or before a Bible Study.

I felt my prayers were always ones of anguish, frustration, anger, hurt, pain, difficulty and challenges. I felt that I never met God's approval. I felt God was always so very very very far away. I felt like He wasn't even listening because I did not get a response. I felt alone when I prayed.

My parents met a family and they invited me to go with them on a trip for a few days, and I was surprised when my parents let me go. Before we pulled out of the driveway to head out in their huge big van, we all clasped hands together and prayed for safety on the road, for the people we would meet along the way, for God's Will to be provided in the trip, for great memories to be made, for traveling mercies in our return back home, and for those who were left behind that couldn't join us.

I sat in fear. For one, to be praying with strangers I hardly knew, actually only knew because they came to our weekly Bible Studies that my parents held at our house. And at the same time, I sat there in awe. How could someone pray like this before they went on the road somewhere? Wow. It was new to me.

When I moved out from California to Texas, September 1997, I got to be in various peoples homes and hear how they prayed. The person who stuck out to me the most was someone who was a father like figure to me of a girl my own age. He always prayed with such fervor as if God was sitting there right with us and he was holding his hand as one of us. He prayed in such a way, both joyous and sorrowful, sometimes weeping loudly. I would sit and look on and wish I had that kind of prayer life with Jesus.

Then when I left "The Group" I was raised with and had been a part of for 37 Years of my life, I went to my first "Church" experience December 2012. I walked into a building where I knew nobody except a couple from my Women's Bible Study Group who invited me. One of their friends, came up to me and asked if they could pray with me. Not for me. They asked if they could pray with me. I said sure, not for one moment prepared for what this was going to e like. Right there in the isle way at Church, they reached out and put their hands on my shoulders and prayed. Prayed for my experience in Church. Prayed for God to be with me in my relationship with Him. Prayed for me to feel connected to him in a way I never had before. Prayed for direction and guidance and wisdom. I left again in awe that someone who didn't know me, would pray like this for me.

When my boyfriend and I were dating, before he started the car and pulled out of the apartment complex, he would pray for our safety on the road, for out time together and that we would have fun. Every time. I now wasn't shocked that people did these things, but I was curious when and how and why this became a part of his life. I learned his Dad did it and it always meant something to him and so he always did it with me. I will treasure this memory forever.

Needless to say, prayer has become a BIG part of my life. As I have worked on myself the last 3, almost 4 Years, since leaving "The Group, my transformation has been phenomenal. I have taken to studying relationships even deeper with the new tools I have. I have contemplated more as to what makes them work and what prevents them from working. I have learned patterns about me and others. I have spent time looking at communication, the amount of time spent asking questions, the ways to show up and contribute, and what it means when we seek to understand before being understood. I have taken these same principals and applied them to my relationship with God.

I frequently will ask how I can pray for you on Facebook. I often write out my prayers on here and on my personal blog. I sometimes will write out prayers to people privately. I have seen enormous power in prayer.

So about 6 weeks or so ago, when someone responded to one of my prayers to them, they asked if I knew a way to increase their prayer life and I recommended a book called Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. Their response was this is great, but I would love to read this with others to work through my questions. They went on to say that they felt they needed help with prayer, struggled to know how to pray, felt fear in praying and wished they could pray and write prayers like I do. I responded that I loved the book and would read it along with them as I had done it last summer with a girlfriend and got so much out of it. Then they asked if maybe we could get a group of ladies together and do this. My response was of course, are you serious about this or is it just an idea? She said, I am serious. I said when and we decided a time. It was this simple. This is what began the journey of me leading a group of ladies in a weekly study in this book.

Do I feel "qualified" to do this? No.
Do I feel I have "all the answers"? No. Absolutely no.
Do I feel my enemies are looking on going "who does she think she is"? Yes, I do.
Do I know God is asking this of me? Yes.
Do I feel that my prayer life can grow further? Yes.

But...when God asks something of you, He will show you and you do not have to feel qualified, have all the answers, consider what others think, you just go.

So today marks the first day of 12 weeks of helping these women to grow a deeper prayer life with God. Helping to help them sort through their questions. Taking their prayer requests and praying with them.

I ask you to pray with me and for me. I ask you to pray with them and for them.
#PrayerChangesLives #PrayerWarrior #FerventPrayer

the reminders of love

I believe the success of our lives is increasingly going to be more and more determined by how we manage our own spirit.  How we are able to keep an inner peace when the world is fighting and angry.  How we will develop methods to strengthen our lives while to the detriment of our modern world, the majority are living every moment increasingly drawn to feed fear, live in anger, say they want freedom but are doing things that keep them in bondage, unable to love through differences, unwilling to see through differences and various perspectives, forgetting that at the core we are all the same, and ultimately that the only healing powers in any relationship is love.  

Complete love.  Full-blown love.  Unconditional love. Limitless love. Remove the mask love.
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #ADifferentPerspective #ChooseLove

there will be people

You will have people who like your positive spirit until it infringes on their way of life. You will have people that are inspired by your story until they realize to change means they have to rewrite their story and get out of their victim mindset. You will have people that want the results you have but are not willing to do the work. You will have people who think that you are a really great person until you change in ways they no longer agree with and so they cut you out of their life to be able to deal with the fact that "you've changed". You will have people that comment and say they love you, they are proud of you, and how much they support you, and they mean it, as long as you don't ever disagree with them on anything. You will have people that won't even attempt to like you because you rub them the wrong way. You will have people that are intimidated by you. You will have people that will be jealous of you. You will have people who get offended because of things you do or say. You will have people who are upset because you are vulnerable and share so much. You will have people who don't like when you don't give details and keep things to yourself. You will have people who want you in their life as long as you provide them something that feeds their need, the minute that no longer exists, they have no use for you. May I encourage you to love them and let them go? People who really want to live in their message and beliefs will face their own internal demons. We all have them, but it is a choice to be controlled by them or to be released from them. Life is short. Focus on the people who add value to your life and who want to work through conflict with you. The people who will openly share when they are hurt and talk about it. The people who won't let petty things, or really even big things, stop a friendship. The ones that are okay with building walls under a pretense of boundaries, let them. They are ultimately hurting themselves, not you. I get it is hard to see that. And I get it may hurt you deeply in the process too. I've been there, more times then I wish didn't have to remember, but I can tell you, when you focus on those around you that want you in their life, when you keep staying the course and being diligent in the areas you need to be, you will see results and it will change what matters to you. You most likely will come away with a different perspective as you will see the mask and fakeness the friendship really had because love never fails. Remember, it all starts with love. #TheSassyVoice #LoveOnPurpose #CircleOfFriends #RelationshipsMatter

the impact of our choices

Sometimes things happen in life that create a domino affect on us. In these moments, we get to choose whether we will be angry (with ourselves or others) or whether we will accept it, as one of my old coworkers used to say: It is what it is, (to which I would add) and it ain't what it ain't!, Learning to do what is the next best thing to move forward is sometimes the only option you have. Sitting in a zone of guilt, shame, regret or fear won't move you forward. Here is an example of what I mean with a situation I am currently working through. I get compounds made at a pharmacy locally, and last May they changed the color of the capsules on one of my medications from orange to white. Since I already had another medication that was white, I didn't pay attention to this nor was there any label alerting me to the change. I am a creature of habit and put my medications in a order by how I take them through the day. Orange was taken in the morning and white at night. One day, weeks later, as I was taking my evening dosage, I became fixated on the the white pill in my hand and thought, this really does seem extra small, I wonder why I hadn't notice it before. I decided to inspect the bottle to see if they had given me the right dosage and not a lesser amount which would have affected the size, and to my horror, I was not taking the right medication at all at night. The medication I actually was taking, was a dosage due to be taken in the morning and a different one at night; hence why I hadn't been sleeping for a good 6 weeks and was feeling out of wack in many regards. I was tackling my Minimalist Project with some great energy because I was taking twice the normal dosage I should have been. I wondered how long I had been doing this, so I dumped all the pills out on the bed and counted my 90 Day supply and then subtracted that number from what the bottle was filled with to learn I had been doing this for 47 Days!!! I was shocked. How could I have been so completely unaware of the change in medication on something I take every day? How did I not pay attention to the labeling on the bottle and miss this? How come when I started feeling off didn't I think to look at my dosage before now? I could not undue what I did for 47 Days. I obviously could stop adding to it by making it 48 Days, but nothing could be done to change this mistake. The fact of the matter was, it was going to take awhile to get my body back on track and the reactions I was having and side effects from not having the right medications and too much of another medication, causing a ripple effect of issues within my body. Sometimes mistakes like this are costly mistakes. For me, it was costly on my health, sleep and my hormones. Those that knew me, knew something was off. Yet, being angry with myself wasn't going go solve anything. Being frustrated with my pharmacy for not giving me notice that they changed my label would only be putting blame on them when it is just as much my responsibility to keep up with. Having regret for making this mistake for 47 days wasn't going to help me love and appreciate myself. Having fear over how long it was going to take to get me back on track wasn't going to help my body heal. The fact of the matter is simple, I am still paying the price for this mistake. Some days it makes me cry. Some days it makes me frustrated. Some days it makes me concerned that I will get back to where I want to be. Some days it makes me research stuff more to see what else I can do to get on track. But every single day I have a choice to ask myself: What can you do to move forward and to love yourself? My doctor is kind. He knows what I am going through. He has told me to be patient and that it is going to take a several months to get me where I need to be He has given me 4 strict instructions: My body has to have sleep and it can't be sacrificed. My body doesn't need any stress. My body must control it's blood sugars. My body must reduce it's inflammation. When I violate any one of these, I suffer. I was out late last night at a DFW Singles Event. I got to bed 2 hours later then normal. This makes it hard on me. I had a beer last night, which isn't good for keeping down inflammation or things turning into sugar. This means I suffer. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves why we keep the strict schedule we keep and do the things we do because there are other things that are more important in the vision we have for our lives. Sometimes we have to intentionally say No to something so we can say Yes to something else that is more important. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. Some that have ramifications for a long period of time. Regardless, I have to remind myself that I can create the life I want and I get to choose my results. It does truly all start with me. Cheers to another day to start with a clean slate and to release the bad choices to the wind. #TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #SimpleDisciplines #TakeCareOfYou

keeping alignment

One of my Coaches taught me a principal:  

How we do anything, is how we do everything.

This has impacted me at times when I get stuck in life.  

When I do not know what the right answer is.  When I do not know how to respond to someone.  When I do not know when to take action and when to be patient.  When I do not know if this should get more of my time or less.  When I am ready to quit.

To stop and look at:  What are my core beliefs?  What are my core values? What to me is important?  Being able to operate from a space of authenticity in alignment with who I am, what I say, how I live, and what I want keeps me congruent to those characteristics that define my decisions.

How you do work for a client that is not paying you a cent for your time and efforts, someone you would consider a charity client, should be done exactly the same way you do work for a paying client.  Your work ethic needs to be supreme.  You need to follow through on your promises.  You need to give willingly.  The only way to instill this is to do the same level of service no matter whether you are paid $0.00 an hour or $500.00 an hour.  If you can't do the same level of work at minimum wage, you won't do it at maximum wage.

How you treat a client at the end of a contract that is ending abruptly, should be done in the same manner in which you treated the client when you were excited to begin working with them.  Your respect for the time they were your client should not change just because you are walking away.  Your attitude of kindness, warmth, and genuine appreciation for them should not change just because your working agreement has.  This doesn't mean there won't be tension, issues to resolve or frustration. It means that through it you will do your best to remember why you wanted to work with them in the first place and if this was a mistake and you shouldn't have agreed to this, then you take it as a learning tool to grow.

If you believe the world needs more love, you have to show up with more love.  In everything.

If you believe the world needs more women advocates, you have to show up as a woman and be a woman advocate.  In everything.

If you believe the world needs more authenticity, you have to show up authentic.  In everything.

If you believe the world needs more charity giving, you have to give more charity.  In everything.

As one of my circle of influence leaders, Trent Shelton says, it all starts with you.  How you live your inner world is reflected in your outer world.  The choice is yours.  How you do anything, is how you do everything.
#TheSassyVoice #YourChoicesMatter #ThePowerOfChoice #CreateTheLifeYouWant #LiveIntentionally

the irony in numbers

I've worked with numbers, accounting, billing and data for 20 Years.  

I love analytics.  I love analogies.  I love math.  I love numbers.  It always adds up.  It always makes sense.  It always balances (unless you have done something wrong).  It always has a cause and effect.  It always is black and white.  It always brings clarity.

It was phenomenal at the end of 2016 Calendar Year End when Pandora sent me an email and told me how many songs I gave a thumbs up to for 2016, and included the first song I listened to and the last that I thumbed up.  Seeing those numbers and knowing it was all created uniquely by me on my own personal music stations, was pretty sweet!

When you sell stuff on eBay, it is cool to see how your ratings go up to show you are a verified high performing seller.

When you look at your Mileage Log for the year and see how many total miles you drove and how many business miles you drove and the difference is a write off on your taxes, this is something that makes you go cha-ching!

When you add to your "Pay Yourself First Savings Plan" each month, it is really awesome to get that monthly statement and see how much it has grown since you first started working and it makes you want to keep it going!

And the opposite is true, when you are trying to loose weight, it is inspiring to step on the scale and see that you have lost 5 pounds and the numbers are decreasing you can get just as much excitement as the other situations when you want the numbers to increase!

But the truth is, society has become obsessed with the numbers.  

Not numbers in the sense of how many people you made smile today, or how many hugs you gave away, or how much you were able to live on and give to charity efforts, no, not those kinds of numbers.  

We have come to a point in our circles that value, put an important emphasis on, have determined success, and deemed just how much of an impact someone is really making in the world based on how many Social Media Fans and Followers you have on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram; or how many tweets you have put out on Twitter or how many times your tweets get retweeted or if someone big likes your tweet when you quote them; or how many views your Facebook Live Video got or how many times it got shared or how many comments were made on it; or how many Instagram posts you have done; or how many people were on your Periscope Video...numbers that really don't define success yet everyone has put such importance on them that they are driven to create content based on numbers instead of just being them.

Why have we bought this lie?

Why have we let this define our meaning to relationships?

Why have we made this so important?

Yet, the last week as things have transpired in the news with regards to our most recent Presidential Election with regards to numbers, I feel it has taken a new level of focus. We have a brand new President that is focused on how many people were at his inauguration instead of being focused on just doing the work he has before him to create the change he feels needs to happen.  We are creating press conferences and news articles on this mess.  It is becoming a reason for tension between friends. Like it matters.  I don't know about you, but I would rather have a President that is making a difference while he serves his term then that the whole world came to his inauguration.  

I step back, look, and simply shake my head and wonder what kind of impact this is adding to the already overwhelming blatant issue this is in society.  I am floored how far we have taken the need for numbers out of context.  And I wonder what it is going to take to get us to shift our focus?

What happened to just being a rock thrown into the pond and let the ripple effect be the ripple effect?  Not counting the number of ripples or how long it ripples or if it overflows into the next pond because it's impact was so great.  Dang it, I say just jump in and make it ripple.

What happened to being happy with knowing we gave the day our best and showed up the best we could, regardless of the number of people that turned out?  Regardless of the number of people that were for or against our message?  Regardless of who liked or didn't like our posts?

What happened to not being concerned with getting Fans and Followers but creating more content that engaged with people?  More authentic conversations?  More connected relationships?  More meaningful moments?  More simplicity in just living our lives and being us?

Yes, all of us want to be heard, understood, seen, acknowledged, accepted, and loved...just as we are.  But numbers do not change that.  And it won't.

There isn't one of us who wants to go this road alone.  I'm not saying that you should have zero Friends or Fans, but what would it be like if we changed our focus?  How would we show up if we spent more time doing the work?  Creating the message?  Sharing ourselves vulnerably?  Ignorant of the numbers our Social Media Pages showed? How would it change us?  What could you do today to be you and remove this level of pressure from how you connect on Social Media?  What kind of an example could you set?  What kind of an impact could you make?

I want to encourage you to look at what really matters and brings value to your life, particularly today as we look at Social Media.  Think about what it is you use if for and how you want it to impact your life.  Then take action that aligns with that vision so that you are intentionally creating the life that you want.
#TheSassyVoice #SocialMedia #Numbers #ADifferentPerspective #BeDifferent #YouMatter #CreateTheLifeYouWant #LiveIntentionally

your battles in life

I am not better then you.

I have faced the same challenges you face.  Defeat. Discouragement. Rejection. Pain.  Fear.  Anger.  Confusion.  

I battle the same battles you battle. 

No, maybe not with infidelity of a spouse.  Maybe not with the loss of an unborn child. Maybe not with a physical body handicap that you can see.  Maybe not with being homeless like you have been.  Maybe not with addiction to cigarettes.  

But I have my own battles.  They might be bigger then yours at times, either in the past, currently or in the future. They might be smaller then yours, either in the past, currently or in the future.  It doesn't matter the size of the battle, we each have them and sometimes the small battles are enough to do us in if we are emotionally, mentally, physically or even spiritually drained.

I have a lady who used to clean my house that won't return the key she has to my house for weeks on end.   I have made requests for it to be returned to me.  Her promises to bring it by such and such a date have come and gone.   It isn't a priority to her.  I am frustrated as the new cleaning lady starts tomorrow and I do not have an extra key to my house.  My old cleaning lady feels I am being demanding.  I am tired of the battle.

I saw a movie the week before my 40th Birthday with my singles friends.  It disturbed my world.  It wrecked havoc on my emotions.  It took me back to memories and trauma that I don't like to have to face.  It has caused emotional post traumatic stress on my health and I am suffering from residual effects to this with lack of sleep, fatigue and exhaustion at a high level even just doing the simple daily tasks, criticism from others for being vocal about this, and some people say I am not healed or this wouldn't bother me. It has made me question things I shouldn't question.  Yet I know the truth.

I have clients who like to push getting me information to be able to complete the deadlines that we face with taxes and payroll reporting periods.  They seem to think that I am able to do magic every year at the last minute for them and everyone else I serve without considering the time it takes to prepare and do these tasks.  

These things and more are current battles I am facing.  

Yet, in these battles, I have a choice.  

I can look at what is going wrong or I can reflect on what is going right.  I can look at past results that are causing me concern, anxiety and frustration or I can create a vision for the future.  I can stay stuck in fear and depression or I can move forward doing the next best thing I can do.  I can think about negative things or I can capture my own thoughts and think about positive things.  I can be irritated and frustrated with myself or I can show myself more love and grace.  I can tell myself life is hard and not worth it or I can believe that the hard things I am facing will get easier and that I have the strength to deal with them.  I can act like everyone is out to get me and take advantage of me or I can believe that each one of these circumstances are being used for a purpose in my life to help me have stronger boundaries, to remove the unwanted stress from my life and to spend time creating the life I really want.

It is up to me to face the truth in these things.  To demolish the lies.  To face my fears.  To have courage.  To not just  make it through the day.  To gather people into my circle of influence who can help me when I do not have the strength to help myself.  To be resilient through all challenges.

Today, will you choose to fight your own battles?

Today, I simple want you to know, that the challenges you face are to help move you to the next chapter, to create clarity on what is the next step, to connect you to your purpose, to help fulfill your vision, to help you remove what is unnecessary from your life.  Asking yourself today, what can I learn in this moment will help you to refocus and not blame others or hate life for what you are experiencing.

But the choice is yours.
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #LifesBattles #DontQuit #CreateTheLifeYouWant

there is a word for you

Sometimes a word comes to you in a message that if you aren't paying attention, you will miss.  

Sometimes a word comes to you in a message that is so loud, even if you tried to ignore it, you couldn't.

Sometimes a word comes to you in a message and it totally shakes your world.

I live for these words.  The are the fuel that keeps me focused to my vision and purpose and what areas of my life that need change, breakthrough and transformation.

They show up when we are willing and ready for them.  They make an impact in our lives when we allow them to.  They bring hope and life when we reflect on them.  They give energy to our daily routine.  They bring clarity to challenges we are facing.

This happened to me the last week, 4 times.

One of my guy friends called me a week ago on Monday to apologize for something in response to one of my Facebook / Blog posts [they many times get put in both spots]. In conversation with me he said, Misty, you do not give yourself enough credit.  You are so hard on yourself.  You really are amazing.  

I have a weekly call with a girlfriend and mastermind buddy every Tuesday at 10amCST.  In our 30 minute discussion this last week she said, Ohhhhh, Misty, you are too hard on yourself.  You really are.

I had my call on Thursday with my Coach, he said, You're doing a number on yourself.  There is only so much of you.  You aren't being fair or kind to you.  You are important. 

I sent an email to a friend yesterday, who I am working with on creating some material for their university, with a status of where things are and the challenges I am facing in life right now.  Her response, please don't be so hard on yourself.

How many times do you have to be told the same thing to get it?  Sometimes a lot. 

How many ways can someone share the same message with you so you are connected to what is important?  Sometimes a lot.  

How many people will share the message with you in different ways to help you gain clarity and understanding?  Sometimes a lot.

I am listening.

I am in-tune to this word.

I will practice not being hard on myself.

I may need reminders.  

I hope you will encourage, support and inspire me to not be hard on myself.

I hope you help me love me and show me ways to give me grace.

I will transform through this breakthrough knowing there is a reason for this in my life right now.

I am asking: Why are you being so unkind to yourself?  What can you do to love her more?  How will you make a change?
#TheSassyVoice #ChooseLove #ShowGrace #ItAllStartsWithYou #LifeLessons

March like the Woman You Are

I see and hear that Women do not feel heard. They claim that they do not have rights. I can understand why at times you feel that way. There are situations when each of us may not feel heard either, whether it is on Women's Rights or something else.

You want love. You want acceptance. You want connection. You want to be heard. You want to be understood. You want justice. You want diversity. You want equality. You want freedom. You want solidarity. You want change. You want to be strong. You want to rise. You want to be acknowledged as a Woman.

Today, I ask you to think about what you really want. I ask you to consider how your actions are bringing about those things that matter so deeply to you.

I ask you to be a woman of class. To make a difference in a way that makes a bigger impact then doing a Women's March, stating you are for all, but excluding those that support Pro-Life, and leaving your signage on the sidewalk as if it is someone else's duty to pick up after you. I ask you to use your voice in a way that is loving, kind, doesn't retaliate in the same method of our current President.

You are a woman of value. You are a woman of significance. You are heard and will be heard. You are understood. You are equal. You are strong. Not because of a Women's March to demonstrate it, but because God created you this way. He hears you. He understands you. He made you. No matter if you feel you haven't been heard, by me or anyone else, or the law doesn't give you the same rights you feel you deserve, you are still worthy and loved. Just as you are! Nobody or no thing can take that from you.

As the events unfolded yesterday for the Women's March that were being held around the world...I stopped and asked the question: What does a march do to create change and actually solve a problem? What constructive comes from showing what you disagree with, instead of putting efforts into what you do agree with? How do you feel you are creating the world you desperately want?

We get what we focus on.

If we want love, we need to give love. If you want acceptance, you have to give acceptance. If you want connection, you have to give connection. If we want to be heard, we have to listen to others. If you want to be understood, you have to seek to understand first. If you want justice, you have to give justice. If you want diversity, you have to accept those different then you. If you want equality, you have to give equality. If you want freedom, you have to give and live in freedom. If you want solidarity, you have to give solidarity. If you want change, you have to be accepting of change and be willing to create change. If you want to be strong, you have to practice strength. If you want to rise, you have to be willing to stand up. If you want to be acknowledged as a Woman, you need to act like a Woman of Class to treated like one.

I reflect on the number of hours and efforts that were put into organizing a Women's March, verses what it would have taken to actually do something to train girls turning into women of strength, dignity and kindness? Giving them skills to be better individuals? What if we took the things we wanted to see changed and did something more then walk down a street with a sign stating our beliefs, with tough messages, and got involved in a way to make a difference? What if we addressed the issues in a more sensible and professional way? What if we were grateful for all the rights we do have instead of being focused on the things we feel are lacking? What if we didn't attack our 45th President on his 1st day in office? What if we gave him a chance to show what he is going to do instead of living in fear that the Women's Rights we do have are all going to be taken away? What if we believed that he hasn't been abusive to his wife and daughters and chose to let his tough shell from the presidential campaign subside and let the next steps unfold? What if we were kind and respectful in sharing how we didn't feel we were being heard?

Yes, I hear you. President Trump hasn't been kind to women. Does that give you the right to retaliate in this manner? Do you think you have won this battle when you approach trying to resolve conflict by using this method? Do you feel you were loving and considerate by saying and doing the things you did in your Women's March?

Yes, I am aware that there are aspects of Women's Rights that are lacking and need some attention. As a Woman, just like you, I don't always get treated equally, I have not been paid the same as a man, and I want to be spoken of respectfully. But is life really about my rights or the service I do to and for others? Is it about my rights or is it about showing love to a man who hasn't been kind to women? Is it about how many women ban together in a march or is it about the legacy I can leave by creating a ripple effect in those lives around me?

I stop and think about how our founding fathers started this country. They took action. They didn't make hoopla about policies and things they didn't like, they went to work and made change happen. Yes, there have been Boston Tea Parties, MLK Marches, Civil Rights Marches, and others. But the truest impact is in action, not marches. Not in boycotting and attacking the things you do not like. But by showing support for the things that have made our country great and going all in to make a difference when and where you can.

I think of Rosa Parks, she quietly sat on the bus and expressed her views and stood up and told the world she wouldn't quit. She made a difference and created more impact in living her own life, then Madonna did shouting F Bombs from the microphone in front of the White House.

There are times change needs to be done with the masses to achieve results, and maybe you felt you were accomplishing this, I am not trying to tell you that you are right or wrong, I am asking you to think. I know that there are times greater change is done not with the masses. Maybe you could make more of an impact in different ways. Maybe just in the little girl next door that needs a mother figure because her parents are divorced. Maybe with the teenage daughter of your boss that doesn't have hope and has attempted suicide more then once. Maybe just the struggling check out clerk whose is on her first day at the job and said to you I am so stupid, and now you have the opportunity to speak words of love and affirmation over her. Maybe in the struggling mother of two children, trying to earn a living, figure out her passion, and needing help making a resume or mentoring her to be able to navigate basic living decisions. Maybe in the coworker fighting cancer.

Don't let fear make you live your life doing and saying things you will regret. Come from a vision about who you want to be and how you want to live. Women's Rights have come a long way. I have no doubt more changes will come ahead to improve areas that need work. But stooping to someone else's level of trash talk won't feed love. Not including everyone when you say you are for everyone is hypocrisy. Leaving your trash around the world isn't responsible or kind. Marching 1 Day after a new president took office is not respectful or considerate.

I am not encouraging you to not express how you feel or to not make change in the world. If you know me at all, I value connection and authentic conversations. I simply am encouraging you to think about how you do it and to make a greater impact. To be different then the masses. To live from a heart of love, not blame, not accusations, not threats, not fear.

Will you be different and go make an impact in someone's life? Will you be constructive in how you create change? Will you quit focusing on what you do not have and be grateful for what you do have? What if you marched like a Woman of Faith?

#TheSassyVoice #BeDifferent #ADifferentPerspective #ThePowerOfChoice #WomensRights #WomensMarch #YouMatter

you must be willing...

I frequently get told: I wish I could share my thoughts like you do. I wish I could be as vulnerable as you are. I wish I understood life like you do. I wish I could see things from a different perspective. I wish I could work through my pain. I wish I could have the transformation in your life you have had. I wish I could be positive. I just don't have your strength.

You can!!! I haven't done anything you can't do.

You first have to one, be willing to. If you aren't really willing to do the work to share your life, be vulnerable, learn from others and apply the principals to your own life, change your perspective or at least be willing to look at different perspectives, work through all of your pain - layer by layer, to create transformation, to be positive, to gain strength, you won't. There is nobody that can do it for you. Even God requires you to want to change, He won't force you. The first step is a decision that you will. You will stay the course. You will be determined. You will keep your commitments.

You secondly, have to face your fears. Then you must be willing to work through the fears that come from deciding to be you, to share your thoughts, to be vulnerable, to live your own life, to see different perspectives, to work through pain, to create transformation, to be positive, to find strength. This will not be a one time occurrence. Facing your fears, for me, I find goes through cycles. Some things you choose will have a domino effect on other choices. Some choices are easy small fears. Some shake you to the very core. Some days, facing your fears is a minute my minute task and will challenge your entire being. Once you work through one level of a fear, you will be taken to new levels that reveal your deeper fears. Fears at the core of your being. Fears that you may be afraid to see. You again will be faced with a decision and choice to be courageous and work through them or stay a victim, stagnate, to retreat or hide. The only way through fears is to face them. The only way to break up the energy of fear is to expose it. The only way to resolve fears is to acknowledge them and not feed them.

Your determination and commitments will be tested. Both in the will to do this and the doing of it. It isn't a one time commitment and then it is over. You will have to keep the vision in front of you, you will have to create affirmations to fight the lies and threats to tear you down, you will have to remind yourself why you have made these choices, and you will have to feel the pain in choosing these things to get to what it is you really want.

You will threaten people who want what you have but refuse to do the work. You will receive blame from people who do not want to take accountability for their choices. You will be taken as too strong, too independent, too opinionated, too fearless, too authentic, too vulnerable, too intentional. You will be told you have changed too much. You will be accused of many things. Your response shows your motives for the reason you are seeking change in yourself. Ultimately, this is a result of those wanting to keep you in a box and not willing to see you expand. This is a result of those who are afraid to live their own life. This is a result of people ignoring their feelings and shutting down to the power God gave them. This is a result of creating a ripple effect around you.

It all starts with you! Remember: What you focus on is what get's attention. What you focus on expands. What you resist consists.
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #TransformationStartsWithYou#CreateTheLifeYouWant #LiveIntentionally #ADifferentPerspective