you never know who God wants you to meet

In my journey this last year, I am finding that God is very much ALIVE.  His Word says that He is, but I was led to believe that He was only alive in the people in my circle.  The people who fellowshipped as I did.  The people who believed as I did.  If they weren't attending where I/We went, did not walk in the faith and truth I/We saw, then they really didn't "have the truth" and consequently, really didn't love God because otherwise they would see things as I/We saw them.  

But God is everywhere!!!  When you are in tune with Him, you will be amazed at how He shows himself!  I am frequently reminded of this, nearly if not literally every day.  It blows me away.

Today was my monthly AAPC Class [American Academy of Professional Coders].  I have been a member and attended since 2010 when I lost my job and decided to put forth more effort to make connections with others out in the Medical Field, perform speaking engagements to educate people and share information from my years of experience and knowledge that doesn't get relayed to help people navigate the industry, create strategic business partners to refer to and work with, develop an online presence for my business, and make sure that I continued to learn more about my industry.  I am not a certified professional coder, but I choose to attend their monthly meetings and learn what I can from the speakers.  This was one way that I felt I should spend my time, energy and money.  I was a guest speaker January 2012 and spoke on Credentialing at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter.  Last month, I was a participant and hosted a Round Table Discussion and Learning Event at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter on Medical Billing.  It has provided me many opportunities to make other connections and to meet some really nice people.

I was sort of dreading going to class today because it was "on a Saturday" and I have so much that needs to get done right now and in many ways, am stressing about all the projects.  I felt that my day was going to be totally shot by the time I had to leave for class, attending a longer than normal class session, and then get home early to mid afternoon.  I also knew that I wanted to spend a little bit of time out in the pool and that to achieve some work and not have the day utterly spent, I was going to have to stay focused and be motivated.  I contemplated skipping out on the class today...more than once.  In the end, I went, and was frustrated because in route, I35 north had construction and I wasn't making good time.  Then on I30 west, it was traffic due to both an event and construction.  I arrived 20 minutes late.  And then, the room that the email blast provided as to where the class was going to be held, it was not in that room.  I get very peeved with myself when I am late, even if it is nobody's fault but my own, I still do it.  I chided myself and said I should have just stayed home.  I pretty much was dragging myself into class.

The speaker today was Dr. Walid Saade, a local doctor in the Fort Worth area, speaking on Leadership.  I needed to hear what he had to say.  It wasn't that his material was new to me.  If you know me well, you know I have attended  several leadership seminars and conferences over the last few years.  Additionally, I follow several leadership speakers blogs, listen to leadership podcasts, have a bookcase full of material produced by many well known authors that I am continually reading and re-reading.  

I don't know if the class got started on time or not...the guy in front of me [who I later learned was his brother] was videoing on his iPhone and when I noticed this a few minutes after sitting down, it was at 11 minutes.  Doesn't mean he started it at the beginning, but in all likelihood, I probably didn't miss too much.  He shared a story of a patient who was having health issues because of her amount of alcohol intake.  He shared that he told her that he would love her anyway and be her doctor even if she continued to drink the amount she was drinking.  He shared that she was killed in a car wreck, but it wasn't due to drinking.  She had quit after he shared with her his story, why he was concerned about her and what he had seen in other patients.  He shared a poem that he wrote about her and that was read at her funeral.  

It wasn't what he said or how he said it, it was the message of love, service and care.  It was the simple fact that he was living out what he believed, not just in his talk but in his walk.  It was the fact that God used him in my life today as he quoted scripture without referencing the bible, yet clearly speaking of biblical principals, and sharing the truth that makes each of us successful.  

But today, I needed to be reminded even beyond that why leadership matters.  I needed to be reminded that it takes time, lots of time.  You have to be patient.  I needed to remember that leaders love people.  They impact lives.  They lead with ethics, principals, and purpose.  They have a vision and stay focused.  The essence of leadership is character.  Leadership is your ability to boldly move your team forward, not for your benefit but for theirs, with a commitment to excellence and results.  I needed to be reminded that to be a leader, you have to aspire to lead.

Why?  Because in the midst of the drama in various organizations, attitudes in team members at clients offices, facing extreme exhaustion due to the extra hours having to be put in to achieve results, the overwhelming amount of deadlines and intense projects on my plate, the stressful circumstances these situations are creating, the results of counseling and working through my past, the daily grind that is wearing me down; I was wearing thin in my passion for what I do...why I do it...and how to keep on doing it.  I needed today.  God knew I needed today.  He sent Dr. Saade to provide me the reminders why leadership is important and the difference between leading and leaders.

But it doesn't stop there.  God had more for me.

I went to Thank Dr. Saade.  I let him know that I appreciate him taking the time to share thoughts.  He thanked me for thanking him.  He then asked me what I do.  I wasn't there to sell myself, I was in a student mode, learning mode, and a heart of gratitude, so I pretty much just brushed him off and told him he could have my business card if he wanted my contact information.  I ignored his question and went on to ask if he had attended various leadership events and seminars I had.  He was amazed when he learned that we had read a lot of the same books, attended a lot of the same conferences, and our desire was the same.  He told me he wanted to do lunch and talk more.  He stated he wants to go with me to one of the next leadership events.  He asked me again what I did and I realized I couldn't be rude, I had to answer and so I told him I was the owner of a Medical Billing Agency that provides Medical Billing, Training, Accounting and Credentialing Services.  He then was impressed and said we seriously need to talk.  He said, I am going to text you right now so that you have my phone number.  Let me know what your schedule is like as I want to do lunch in the next week or two.

I am not one to get too excited about these types of things because I have been given so much fluff and hot air by people who make promises that I hate to get my hopes up.  Not that I thought he was a man that wouldn't keep his word, he didn't strike me like that after his two hour talk.  I just was guarded because of the number of times people make promises and don't keep them, especially in my industry.  On top of the fact, what doctor texts you his personal cell phone?  They typically keep this private.  

When I got home I texted him a few dates that I would be available to meet and talk.  I then spent some time and looked him up on line.  He is a Family Medicine Doctor and the COO of a local major urgent care facility with multiple locations in the DFW Area.  He also has a website for his leadership program, Aspire to Lead [you can read and subscribe here at www.aspiretolead.net].  This connection was God given and it is for a reason.  I believe it will be more than just to light a fire in me again for the passion at what I do.  I believe God has a plan.  More of a plan and He will reveal it in His time.

These types of "God Stories" only make me wish I had seen God working in my life before as I do now. I wish I had been in tune to His ways.  I wish I had not second guessed myself about how He leads.  I wish I had believed that He is Alive as I believe and see Him Alive now!

Quotes

If you don't know God, there is no flavor in your life, no certainty in your death, and you really won't know success.
 - Dave Ramsey

Quotes

"When we live under the grace of God, we experience freedom and life unlike anything else. Live it, teach it, and help others understand it." 
- Roger Fankhauser

Counseling Session #3

I learned:

• grief = temporary insanity
• normal for me was to suck it up, deal with it, stuff it, just operate
• must give myself permission to feel [you are not different then anyone else, be human, have a biblical definition of emotions]
• read a Psalm a day to reveal those real emotions [He gives, He takes away, God is still good.]
• Let yourself grieve. Give time/set aside time to grieve.  [Journal, Pray, Scream/Yell, Run]

thought

"The Gifts of Imperfection"
by Brene Brown

a lesson to be learned from someone else

I had a meeting scheduled with a local DME Business Owner for coffee at Starbucks.  I obtained the connection through a guy who connected with me through LinkedIn and felt that the he could provide a connection for the two of us and that we would be good strategic business partners.  

As it has been a lot for me lately, I feel extreme pressure, overwhelming sense of being behind in my work, alarmed that I feel like I am going in circles and not making progress on some stuff, feeling like I am drowning and not even swimming upstream let alone floating downstream, challenged beyond words to keep up with all that is happening with my clients, with little time to rejuvenate me or tend to the needs of my own business and household.  I left the house for this appointment knowing that I was not feeling "in the mood" for this social interaction relating to business.  Not because I truly didn't want to meet this lady, but because I felt I was taking out precious time that was needed to be spent on other critical things on my plate, yet this appointment had been booked nearly a month previously and I was not going to cancel.  Yet at the same time, I wanted to go as I wanted the opportunity to thank her for something she did for me a month ago.  

You see, on Tuesday, May 21st, Lorena called to introduce herself to me.  I was having one of those awful days.  You know when nothing goes right?  I was scheduled to be a host of a Round Table Discussion and Learning Event that evening at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter and I had not prepared much in advance.  It was about 11.30am in the morning and my internet was intermittent.  My eFax was down and I couldn't get the necessary information I needed to process the data.  A tornado watch was issued and supposed to be in effect until 4-5pm.  I was in tears.  How was I going to get my needed data and be ready in time for this event at 6pm?  I was beyond stressed.  In the midst of this, this lady calls me.  She asked if it was a good time to talk.  I am not one to ever tell someone no.  I will always tell you yes, even if truly is not a good time.  This time though, I was so thoroughly bent out of shape and decided that I would be honest and tell her that no, it was not a good time.  She said she understood and would call me in a few days.  Not 10 minutes after we hung up, I go this from her:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that you watch over Misty and her current situation.  Show her that this obstacle is just to encourage her to be a better speaker and show her the opportunities that are around her.  Show her that you have a hand in all that we do.  I pray for a profitable company and a calm to come to her heart and soul Father.  Be with her today as she prepares for this speech that she touches those around her and that you allow those to see the confidence in her skills.

Thank you so much for being who you are Lord the provider for all of us.

AMEN!!!

I was blown away!  This lady had never met me.  She didn't know I was a Christian and believed in God.  She didn't know that I am normally not this frustrated, frazzled and stressed out.  She didn't know my circumstances or situation, yet you know what she did?  She showed me God.  She showed me love.  She was caring and thoughtful.  She brought me peace.  She didn't just pat my shoulder and say "I will pray for you".  She stopped right then and there and prayed for me and sent me the prayer to let me know she did so.  It brought extreme peace to my troubled soul.  It brought focus to the situation and a perspective that I was missing being all caught up in the moment.  Since September 2012 when I started a Woman's Bible Study Group, I have met more people who have faith that is ALIVE and REAL and who are not afraid to live it out before you.  They want you to know and have confidence in the God they believe in.  They walk out their faith daily, with complete strangers.  This is not the experience I have had with believers previously.  I have people who grab my hands and pray with me right at that moment, not who just say "I will pray for you" in a sorry, sad, sympathetic tone.  They believe in the power of prayer and it brings strength and hope to their voice.

So today I was scheduled to meet Lorena.  She was very kind, she shared with me her story.  A personal story of how she began her business, what she went through in a legal lawsuit over the non compete territory and clause after leaving her previous employer, how it dragged on for two years, how she lost everything, and how she was treated by connections, coworkers and people in the community.  She shared with me how she did the right thing because it was the right thing to do, not because she wouldn't have preferred to deal revenge instead.  She shared stories of how she turned the other cheek because she knew God was in control.  She has since had the opportunity to be loving and gracious to people who threw her under the bus.  People who mocked her, treated her coldly, who assumed the worst and made up information about her.  She described how she had to treat them when in their presence before the legal battle was over and the truth of the matter was known, she was kind anyways.  

Wow.

We shared industry stories, business experiences, challenges and struggles.  She learned of things I do to help my clients and I learned of a way that I may be able to help her too.  She in turn wants to help me locate another team member to add to my team to replace the one that quit recently and is being giving back.  Giving without seeing results. Giving with no strings attached.  Giving because she simple wants to see me succeed.  

Why did God have me meet her?  

Because I believe He wants to send me a clear message.  He wants to show me His Love through His People.  He wants me to believe that He is in people that I work with.  He is ALIVE.  He knows my needs.  He will provide.  He will send people to encourage you with their stories and inspire you to do the same and turn the other cheek.  There are probably other reasons, but those are the ones I think of.  

I stand amazed at my God!

Quotes

Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.
- N. David Walsch

no condemnation

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  
- Romans 8:1

What does this mean?  No Condemnation?  I think sometimes we hurry through simply verses that have a lot of meaning.  That really if we thought about the words, the message of what those words mean, if we lived them out, we wouldn't feel the things we feel.

Me included.

If you are IN Christ Jesus, you have no condemnation.  How can you be "in" Christ Jesus?  
When He is in You...You are In Him.

No condemnation = 

• It means there is no blame.  
• It means there can be no adverse judgement on you.  
• There can be no disapproval of you.
• It means you are liberated.  
• You are exonerated.  
• You are released.  
• You are discharged. 
• You are free.
• It means you are made clear.
• There is no guilt.
• There is no sentence for you.
• No punishment.
• You are fit.

If you have feelings that you are blamed, judged, disapproved, imprisoned, bound, discolored, defective, blemished, obscured, guilty, sentenced, penalized, punished, unfit...these are not in or of Christ Jesus.

So therefore who are they in?  These are the characteristics of those who are NOT in Christ Jesus.  God did not come to condemn the world.  The world isn't Christians.  It is everyone.  So if God didn't condemn the world, why do you condemn others, or even yourself?  Since I am in Him and cannot be condemned, why is there condemnation for me?  There isn't.  Not by God.  There especially shouldn't be any condemnation by God's people who are in Him.  Those who are not in God do not know or understand the concept of no condemnation so I would expect they would have condemnation because they don't understand it.  But those who are in God should understand no condemnation, because they KNOW they are not condemned.  It is really simple, if you are IN Him, you have no condemnation.  None.  If you have no condemnation how can you put condemnation on someone else?

God came for you to be...

• Blameless.
• Without judgement.
• Approved.
• Liberated.
• Exonerated.
• Released.
• Discharged.
• Free.
• Clear.
• Guiltless.
• Without sentence.
• Without punishment.
• Fit.

I challenge you to make your own list, as I did.  In Jesus Christ...you have NO CONDEMNATION!  You are approved and completely free.

God makes things possible...

Nick & his Bride!

nuggets from this video:

be unique...have a head over heels approach to life..have a generous spirit - like Nick Vujicic! 

You are special! 

In my eyes, we all have a couple pieces missing as a Prince or Princess, even if they aren't obvious. 

Turn disadvantage into advantage.

"It doesn't mean I won't cry...it doesn't mean I won't understand everything...but I know He is with Me!"

Quotes

song ~ NY2LA

Press Play - NY2LA (New York To LA) 

New York to LA

Everybody get together
Let's work it out
Got the answer for this world
Let's make it count

Uh oh, uh oh
It's time to live it out
This crazy world we're livin' in
Is lookin' to us now


CHORUS
Oh, we all need love
A different kind of love
One that only comes from above
(X2)

Everybody dance
Everybody move
We can make a change
From New York to LA
(X2)


It's made up to you and me
So what's it gonna be
We can make a stand today
For love and unity

Uh oh, uh oh
I think the time has come
For us to make a difference
And live as one

Chorus

We are here on planet earth
To make a change
To stand for those who cannot

To never back down
But stand proud for God
The one and only true love

A different kind of love
A love that gives and forgives
Doesn't judge but extends a helping hand
A love that finds a need and fills it

A different kind of love
A love that shares hope, vision and dreams
A love that's not relevant, but revolutionary

Everybody dance
Everybody move
We can make a change
From New York to LA
(X4)

verse from a friend

The Lord put this verse on my heart for you.  Isaiah 66:9.  Remember this as you go through this difficult process, and know it will get easier...love you.

prayer from a friend

Lord, I know you know ALL our needs and you care for us much more than we can imagine.  Be with Misty during this time...her faith is strong, but so are the emotions that are surging. Help her and give her the wisdom to deal with them to bring inner healing that only comes from you.  Comfort her as she travels in her heart and mind to places forgotten.  Give her the strength to endure this difficult time and guide her in burying lies as they surface.  Your love is so amazing and I know your car for Misty is beyond my own.  Show her that...make it real to her.  In your precious name, Amen!

Counseling Session #2

I started my story.  It contained three short paragraphs.  I couldn't write more.  I got stuck.  What was there to write?  I couldn't write just about facts because the facts have memories.  These memories are not happy ones.  These memories bring back a flood of feelings as if I am standing right there, all over again.

I cried.

I shook with sobs.

Three paragraphs do this to me?  Really???

I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.  

This is really hard.  Very tough.  I am not sure I can do it.  I have never been a quitter.  Never.  I don't know how I am going to make it through this.  I haven't even begun to tell "the rest of the story".  I don't know why anyone in their right mind would choose counseling.  Seriously don't.

Assessment from today:

• You have experienced a lot of change in a short amount of time.  
• We become so driven to survive we don't feel.  
• God wants to open the window of fear and bondage.

Quotes

Don't wait for other people to be loving, giving, compassionate, grateful, forgiving, generous, or friendly...
                                                  lead the way!
- Steve Maraboli

Ashley's Graduation

I'ld rather be effective then accepted. 
- Sara Ahmed, Valedictorian for Texas Virtual Academy


Embrace change...not with anxiety but eagerly. 

Take a few risks - You will regret what you haven't done not what you have: Just Go For it! The dishonor is failure to try. 

Extraordinary things take extraordinary effort. Don't underestimate extraordinary effort, most people do.

Figure out what is important to you and go do it.

- Ron Packard, Guest Speaker at Texas Virtual Academy Class of 2013

song ~ nothing is wasted

Nothing Is Wasted 

by Jason Gray

The hurt that broke your heart

And left you trembling in the dark
Feeling lost and alone
Will tell you hope's a lie
But what if every tear you cry
Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom 
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

From the ruins 
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine
Glory will shine

Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted
[x2]

From the ruins 
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine
Glory will shine

ephesians 4:2

Counseling Session #1

I resumed counseling today.  

I have been asked to write my story, with facts, not to focus on feelings.  

The goal is to work through how these types of things make me feel...to rewrite my story with how God has redeemed me.

I am to recognize my limits if it gets difficult.  Have a plan if I get overwhelmed.

Quotes

my blogging

I started blogging because I wanted to have a way to reflect on the monumental trips I made in my journey.  I wanted to document the fun things in memories.   Weddings.  Trips.  Company.  Etc.

Blogging grew from my original vision.  It became way for me to have an online journal for me to write and share the experiences I have in life, to reflect on verses that meant something to me that day, a thought that was a great concept, a quote that had depth of meaning, a way to share thoughts and things I think about, a visual board of things that inspire me, a way to interact with my friends in the rest of the world virtually, a way to express the courage I have to press on in this journey.

I love Blogging.  I get behind in it at times and don't get to do it as much as I want to.  I am trying to schedule weekly blogging time as it is something I benefit from and is a good source of "me time".

However, if you have followed my blog, you will probably start to see a change as I open up more on some things.  Things I have not shared before, things I am working through, new believes and truth I have uncovered.  If it becomes too difficult for you to read, feel free to not.  I don't write for a following.  You are welcome to follow or subscribe, you are not obligated to as my friend.  Please know, you will not hurt my feelings if you do or don't.  It's your choice.  I still love you whatever you decide to do.

My blog was not created for you.  It was created for me.  

Having said that, I like the interaction when people comment, but I don't expect it.  Everyone has a different viewpoint of the public forum online.  My perspective is really simple: every bit of that was logged by God so why do you feel leaving it off the internet makes it okay?  Just a thought to think about today.