I would have lost heart...

I would have lost heart...when my employer fired me for a blog post on my personal blog August 2010...unless I knew what I had written wasn't wrong or out of place or dishonest, but in reality it was his excuse for letting me go for not lying and covering for him to the partner of the business.

I would have lost heart...when I filed unemployment and the claim was denied and I had to appeal it...unless I believed God had my back and I would win the appeal with additional facts.

I would have lost heart...when a girlfriends husband reached over and put his hand on my upper thigh in the middle of watching a movie with him and his wife when I was over at their place for New Years Eve...unless I believed that God wanted me to work through my fears of men again on a deeper level and to show me that I was strong, that I had to honor my values and integrity and ask him to confess to his wife (not knowing that she had seen him do it) and if he didn't, I would.

I would have lost heart...when a client didn't pay me after doing 5 years of accounting within a 4 month time frame to release the pending IRS lien on their business, forcing me to file a lawsuit to get paid...unless I understood that not everybody keeps their word and not everyone is ethical in how they do business.

I would have lost heart...when I found my boyfriend texting a previous girlfriend "I frequently think of you and your gorgeous butt."...unless I believed God was showing me signs that he wasn't committed to this relationship like I was and these were ways that he was giving me clues that this wasn't the man God had for me to avoid further heartache and emotional pain in my life.

I would have lost heart...when a terminated employee kept client files and ignored all communication from me...unless I believed God was having me go through something that was going to teach me a valuable lesson.

I would have lost heart...when life got messy, ugly things happened, hurtful things were said, chaos unraveled, people walked out of my life, finances got tight, health issues continued, many nights I couldn't sleep, and life consumed my heart and mind.

...unless.

Unless, I believed in God.

Yesssssss...

...I would have despaired and lost heart, unless I had not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord! ~ Psalm 27:13 AMP

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