poem ~ Friends

As a child I wasn't
allowed to have any Friends,
My mom believed
I could survive without them.

She believed to have
someone really close,
Meant I was being discriminating
and being cliches to pair up with those.

She believed that I should be
loving to everyone,
But not to the point
that I had favorite ones.

She had me write letters
to several each week,
Asking me to encourage them
and be the Friend I wanted to me.

If I wanted to call them
and talk on the phone,
I had to spend my own $2.50 monthly allowance
for a connection to be known.

Return letters to me
were quite very rare,
And return phone calls
happened never at all.

I've always wanted
to have lots of Friends,
But when the relationship isn't returned
it's been really hard to see them as a Friend.

I've never wanted
to be partial at all,
So I've accepted every Friend request
that I've received on my wall.

I don't hang with the same friends
each and every week,
I continue to rotate
spending time with each.

I've come to see this
as a blessing in my life,
Because of the number of Friends
I have by my side.

Yet I've also come to see
this as a weakness to me,
Because what I really want
hasn't come true in creating these.

So in this new Chapter I walk
I realize again,
Some things from the past
have to be abolished and end.

It's been scary and hard
to look at the truth,
That not every one wants
a real connection with you.

Some want to pretend
to care down deep,
Yet others just want
to be an enemy on the sneak.

Cutting out people
who don't want to be there,
Shouldn't hurt me so bad
but it honestly makes me very sad.

I will continue to pursue
the relationships that begin,
With a connection and authenticity
on every level of Friends.

I have been working on me
and fighting the conflict again,
To keep every connection regardless of the status
or how close we have or haven't been.

I've been reflecting on what
a real Friend looks like,
And how to create thriving ones
that want to be real with me.

For a new beginning to come
some things have to end,
So with love and and hug
I wish you well my Friend.

© Misty W Gilbert
#Poems #AuthorLife #MistyWGilbert #TheSassyVoice #CreateTheLifeYouWant #LiveIntentionally #RealLifeExamples #RelationshipsMatter #FakeFriends #RealFriends #BeReal #RemoveTheMask