Saturday, September 14, 2013

1st Testimony with IAmSecondBracelet

I bought an I Am Second bracelet at The Celebrate Freedom Concert in June.  I had wanted one and didn't want to pay shipping, so this afforded me the option to not have that expense.  

I have previously never purchased any of those "plastic cheap looking" bracelets that are massively produced with a message and worn as a fad by people for a time, first because my Mom would never let me, two because I hate fads, three because I like to wear classy stuff and wasn't into cheap looking stuff.  

When I bought this I Am Second bracelet I didn't anticipate wearing it with my other jewelry.  



Things change.  I am.  I was given this beautiful cross bracelet from one of my girlfriends as a "thinking of you" gift and it is awesome to pair it with this I Am Second bracelet!!!

I am not sure when I went to wearing it everyday, with my other jewelry too...but sometime in the weeks that followed I did.  I even wear it to bed at night.  The only time I take it off is when I shower, and technically I wouldn't have to do that either, it's plastic, nothing will hurt it except maybe the stove or oven.

To look down at my wrist and see the message, a simple clear message to my heart and mind, is one that I love!  The reminder is always amazing.  It brings focus quickly to life, to challenges, to who is Number One! and need I say, if not, who should be.

I never dreamed of the opportunities that would come from wearing this bracelet.  Tonight, I had my first.  I was checking out at a local drug store after picking up some cold medicine to get rid of this stuffy head cold that is consuming my every thinking waking moment right now.  The clerk checking me out saw my bracelet.  She got all excited.  "You have an I Am Second bracelet???  I do too!!!"  She brought her hand up, but her bracelet was inside out, you could not see the message.  I couldn't help myself, before I thought what I was saying, I said:  "Girlfriend, why are you not wearing it with the message displayed?"  I instantly kicked myself.  She sort of winced at what I said and then said "It wasn't intentional."  I believed her.  Even if what she said isn't true, and she said it out of my condemning question, why would I think that hiding the message with the statement pointed directly to her wrist might not be just what she needed?   A silent reminder.  Something that people don't question her about?   Something that made her feel connected with God?  Why did I open my big mouth?  Why didn't I just rejoice with her that we both had I Am Second bracelets?  When will I learn to not judge?  To not assume?  To encourage, all the time, in all ways?  

I asked her how she learned of I Am Second.  This was all that was needed and she quietly, a bit reserved, shared with me her story.  She has tried to quit drugs and alcohol.  She would make promises and go back on them.  She finally realized that she could not do this without God.  She became clean April 1st of this year.  She is going to a church in Fort Worth who introduced her to I Am Second.  She is a fan of them and loves their mission.  I gave her my business card and told her that if she ever needed someone to pray with her or wanted to go to lunch, to call me.  She asked if she could give me her number.  I said absolutely!

I would share with you her name to ask you to pray for her, but in the event that you might run into her or that she might not want her story known in our small town with a handful of drug stores, I want to respect her privacy.  Pray for my new friend!  Pray that she can continue in growing in her relationship with Jesus.  That she can learn to make him first in everything.  That her bracelet will be the beginning of even deeper things.  Let her meet more friends who will encourage her on her journey to serve God.

This was my very my first testimony experience from wearing the I Am Second bracelet...I am amazed at the small changes in my life that have brought opportunities I never had like this before.  Yes, I talked to people about God, I shared "why" I was a Christian, but did they see the Christian spirit in me without me saying a word, without looking religious???  There is a big difference, their excitement, the way they share their faith right back with me, the way they ask questions and not because I look so different they can't help but wonder about me, but the love that comes out of me, that is what is different.

nuggets from "No Longer"

I am being blog away once again by My God...again today.  If yesterday wasn't enough, He was over the top today.  His hand in my life, how He is aligning events and His timing is absolutely amazing!!!  

I am overwhelmed!!!!!!!  Truly overwhelmed.


The gratitude I have for Him is ENORMOUS!!!  I can't believe Him.  The last few days have been magnificent.  He loves me.  Truly loves me.  He demonstrates He Loves Me.  He keeps His word.  He is too awesome!!!  


My journey lately has been incredible!  I hope that I can convey everything on the blog because all I can do is get chill bumps and stand in awe.


This year has been a hard one.  And yet, at the same time, it has been an incredible one. 


God is working in my life.  Working deep.  He is tearing down the foundation of Misty.  He is taking it and reforming it.  The process hurts.  It is exposing.  It makes me feel vulnerable.  Vulnerable in a way I have ever felt before.  It is bringing feelings to the surface, feelings that I have tried to cover with just "pressing on, leaving those things behind".  It is shedding light on what needs work.  It is causing a wide range of emotions.  From deep difficulties to exuberant elation.  It is teaching me to learn from the details.  It is making me patient with myself, something I have not ever been.  I can be patient, loving, caring and supportive of others, but can't be of me.  It is growing me so much so that I now have developed growing pains.  A pain so severe that it is affecting every aspect of my life.  


It is making people stop and go, what is going on in your life?  I see God at work. I see your faith being strengthened.  It is making me have hope.  It is making me excited to see his work in you.  It makes me thrilled for you.  You have faced so much.  I believe he is going to be working great things in your life.


Yes, God is working in my life friend.  In my heart, I believe more changes are coming.  I believe we haven't begun to see what His plan is.  Some days I question Him and wonder why but the last few days, all I can do is step back and reflect at how amazing He works.


I attended the Beth Moore Living Proof Simulcast today with Ashley, one of my employees, and daughter of a friend of my girlfriend, Jennifer.  I woke up with the congestion of sickness worse than the day before.  My fever blister hurting.  Feeling washed out.  It is so hard to get enthusiastic when you feel like crud.  My heart wanted to be encouraged and learn, and at the same time my body said really must you do this to me again?  


As Beth Moore got started, I wasn't feeling the Spirit.  I prayed, Lord help me to receive today what you have for me today and what I need to hear.  


I texted two prayer warriors asking for them to pray too.  30 minutes into it, I was overwhelmed.  God had lessons for me.  Lessons I needed just right now, today, in my journey.


You see, I started professional counseling June 3rd.  I was determined to get through the hardest part of my story before my trip to Franklin, TN for Life Plan Coaching with Chris LoCurto and to not have to revisit that part of My Story when I returned.  I had a girlfriend say: Why do you do this to yourself?  Why don't you just let it flow as it should with counseling?  Why do you always set these goals for yourself?  I shrugged and replied, I don't know, I am always like this.  


God knew I am like this, but he also knew that I needed to be to that part in My Story or I would not have been able to do the coaching sessions that week because it involved a very dynamic part of my personal life, not just business.  


God also knew that I would come home from that time, refreshed, with a heart extremely thankful for the time I had in Franklin, ready to refocus on where He is taking me in my journey, resume counseling as I continue to work through telling My Story, and yet overwhelmed by the two days spent deeply learning more about me, feeling frustrated at how I continue to feel like I am not good enough and that I am a complete disappointment to you; desiring desperately to feel good enough, to think I am good enough, to believe I am good enough; and wanting to be thoroughly done with feeling, thinking, and believing I am NOT good enough.  


Despite the progress I have made in my life, I struggle to get past how to work through these feelings that happen without me even thinking about them.  These feelings are to the core of my being.


God knew, not even two weeks later, I would need to hear "No Longer" by Beth Moore.  God planned this message for me so that I would hear loud and clear:



God is NOT disappointed!!! 

God knew that though I had gotten a clear picture and vision of how I struggle to feel good enough, particularly very strongly in my Life Plan Coaching Session, that I would still be struggling to know how to break that feeling and be frustrated at learning to enforce and reinforce that I am enough.  I.Am.Good.Enough.  I must believe that I am good enough. The power to change this mode of operating is within me, with the strength from God because He has made me enough. Good enough.


God wanted Beth Moore to say and me to hear:  



Jesus still wants you! 

And when she did, that I would break down sobbing, utterly lose it, right there in a midst of over a hundred ladies, right next to my employee, right here and now today.  Nobody's wanted me, but awwwhhhhh, God wants me. 


God knew Beth Moore's Old Man Object Lesson would be used to have me see right before my eyes that I am dragging around the "Not Good Enough Old Man".  That my identity of not being good enough has been my belief foundation for so long that I am still letting it control me.  That though I understand it conceptually in my brain, it still is what is in my heart.  I haven't changed my belief system.  Yes, I have faced the lie and though I have buried it, I am still visiting that cemetery.  That I need to clearly understand I am No Longer The Same.  I am no longer not good enough.


Seeing God at work like this in my life the way He has been, only has me amazed.  


My God is Amazing!!!



Ashley & I
together at the Beth Moore Living Proof Simulcast 2013


Nugget #1:  Jesus has done something monumentally fantastic in your life!  You are not a constant disappointment. 
Nugget #2:  Believe who I say I am.  Believe you are who I say you are.

Nugget #3:  Jesus still wants me!

Beth Moore: Living Proof Simulcast 2013


Theme of Living Proof 2013: No Longer
Grace is the good news at its greatest.  

Romans 5:1 the grace in which you stand.

Grace = charis: grace, particularly that which causes joy, pleasure, gratification, favor, acceptance, for a kindness granted or desired, a benefit, thanks, gratitude, the absolutely free expression of loving kindness  [I missed the remaining part of this quote because I couldn't write fast enough, though I tried desperately hard to get it all even though Beth Moore warned us we wouldn't be able to...]


1. Some things in our lives need to hear a loud "No Longer".  
Sometimes we say "no", but we still let it continue...we need to say no longer to anything that tries to master us.


2.  The power to live out a lasting "No Longer" can't be found under the law.
Romans 6:14 you are not under the law but under grace

Spiritual Neurosis = feeling crazy, trying to live under the law but not grace, contradictions between the two, had to do [law] vs get to do [grace]

Ephesians 4:32 you have been graced by God so you need to live in a conscious state to grace others

Where do you live?  Where do you put the relationships you have with others? Law or Grace?  We know this better than we live it.  Where is my peace?  

II Thessalonians 3:14, Titus 3:10, Matthew 18:17

Jesus has done something monumentally fantastic in your life!  You are not a constant disappointment.  You will distance yourself if you feel this way.

disappoint = 1x in The Word of God AND disappointed 4x's in The Word of God...but never one time was this spoken by God in The Word of God!  He said he was displeased or had displeasure in a lack of faith, Hebrews 10:38 (followed up in Hebrews 11:6) but not that he was disappointed.  Romans 5:5 (HCSB) this hope will not disappoint us.  God is NOT disappointed!!!  

disappoint = an expectation not to be met, failed expectations, to fail to fulfill the expectations or wishes of, to frustrate

God knows how you are going to turn out.
Romans 1:5 obedience
Romans 16:26 & 27


3.  It's time we no longer see our lives under any heading but "Grace".  
The more self aware we are the less we like ourselves...we can't maintain a life of perfection.

Law & Shame vs Grace & Name
No matter how much we hate the law, we are more scared of grace.

Romans 3:21, 27 we boast in the Lord our God
We will only be credited with what we give credit to God for.
Self-Condemnation = pet compulsion of credit cravors

Whatever we add to grace we subtract from God.  Grace is the power of the cross.  We are the "have's" in the world, not the "have not's".

Get an attitude and say "No Longer".  Our human rationale is to keep the law, rev it up and keep the cycle.  The power lies in grace.  This is where you live here at "111 Grace".  

By the law of faith!  Faith drives our obedience.

Romans 4:1-3 

Believe who I say I am.  Believe you are who I say you are.

Reaffirmed or reformed disappointment is regret.  We don't believe God is just disappointed in me/us but regrets me/us.

Romans 6:6-14
John 1:16 & 17

Be eccentric.

Law = increases sin, self destructing, even more destruction
Grace = power to be victorious

Romans 5:20

We behave out of our belief system, behavioral compulsions.  We believe in our heads that's who we are.  do we know, not just in our heads, but deep inside?  To the degree you are enslaved to sin to that degree you are out from under grace.

Old Man Object Lesson
[Beth Moore had a real life size dummy that was as tall as her that she  used in her object lesson to illustrate all we do to carry around the dead old man with us]
Old Man = he is dead, we are dragging him around with us, we throw him at situations and people, we snuggle up with him, our identity is with him, he means much to us, we can't let go, we do everything to keep him alive, even revive him and even give him CPR if we need to, he is who we feed, we even let him drive and tell us where to go... 

We just keep adjusting ourselves to the decay.  We remember all the habits of the "old man".  We are very attached, sympathetic, and cherish it.  If you are dominated by the Old Man, you are living it out.

Ephesians 4:28
Don't give it authority to master you anymore.  Don't call it back.


4. It's also time to quit trying to resuscitate the old dead us.
Write an obituary:  The Old Me vs The New Me 
[Beth Moore gave 4 examples from the blog on this]
You can't see it because the blend is so strong.

Luke 15:17

Jesus Christ is worthy enough for me, you, us!

Galatians 4:4-7

Get your "No Longer" straight.  Your enemy is you.  God has set the table before you.  You have distanced yourself from God.  You keep talking yourself out of it.  You can't earn it or boast about it.


5.  Let's trade our "no longer worthy" for "I'm no longer the same".  
There is nothing you cannot come back from.  Nothing!  Jesus will be glad to see you!!!  We all draw a line and the cross always crosses it.

Romans 5:15, 20

We act like our grace equals or is equivalent to our sin.  
Sin Increase Grace Abounded
The free gift doesn't match the amount of sin.

Jesus still wants me!  That is the taste of grace!!! We say Lord have mercy and when we do, we get upset.  

Jesus will come through any door...if you are willing to escape.

Romans 3:23-25 accessible through faith
Hebrews 9:5
Luke 18:9-14 "I"

Lord, I was never worthy enough...but because of you, I AM WORTHY!!!  Own it.  We got to have Jesus.  Come to grace.  Nothing can snatch you out of His hand.

You have always embraced me.  You have always welcomed me home.  you have always been faithful.  you have never left me alone.  Never. You want us.  Your grace immerses us in your love.  We can't make it without it.  You love us completely.

Romans 5:1 & 2  We have peace with God.  
Ephesians 1:6 We are highly favored.

Get the rhythm of grace...you will know you got it when you can dance.  My Spirit Rejoices.


6.  We will see the face of grace and need grace to bear the beauty.
Acts 20:32 Build You Up!  

Get out of your cemetery.  We are worthy through your pain and suffering.



#NoLongerTheSame


[the items listed in red are my nuggets in which I will do a followup blog post on]

Friday, September 13, 2013

Do you see God?

If you are an avid follower of my blog, you know that the last year, I have been learning so much about My God.  If you aren't, know this, the story is amazing!!!  I have learned how God truly is in ALL the details.  Not just some of them, but every little one.

I am going to share some of my day today with you to see what I mean when I say this.  I wish I could share and blog about all my God Moments...but I have to make a living and currently, my blog is not that.  It is a resource to be used in my life and journey, but it is not a form of income, so I can't blog about them all...plus, you would probably be overwhelmed by trying to read them all!  

When I did the Beth Moore Bible Study last September - December with some ladies called Breaking Free, Beth Moore talked about how God gave her a message, or God spoke to her, or God revealed himself to her.  

I didn't get it.  I was used to this being what I had been told all my life as to how "religious people" acted.

As my journey continued, I begin to see God.  In a way I had never seen him.  I begin to feel him, in a way I had never felt him.  I begin to know him, in a way I had never known him.  I begin to understand what Beth Moore meant by what she said God had talked to her.  I began a journey to be amazed at My God.  It is now a daily experience...and I continue to be blown away.

I got in last night at 12.30am...a very late night as I left a clients office at 11pm.  I was beat and my heart was not into my day.  I jumped in the car and began the trip in prayer, asking God to give me strength to face my day.  I didn't feel emotionally ready, and in some ways with the lack of sleep, I didn't feel mentally ready either.  The sore throat I have been dealing with since Monday raging out to the tip of my ear.  I felt like crud.  I wanted to stay home.  But I had a fully packed day of appointments and meetings with clients.  I then put on some worship music to get me in gear.  It did the job.  I was soaring!  Even at 3 mph through downtown Fort Worth waiting to inch past an accident, I was in the zone.

I began the day at 9am by meeting a client at the bank in Watauga, near the clients office in North Richland Hills.  Let me back up, this client and I are night and day opposites.  We joke about it because it is so evident.  In every way I am classy, he is not.  In every way I am calm, he is all over the map.  In every way I stay focused, he is searching for a tangent.  We are complete opposites, yet we appreciate the skills each of us have.  We appreciate the things we each bring to the relationship that help shape the other individual.

We were meeting with the banker to establish a new business relationship and move banking from one big entity to another.  My clients hates the issue of finances.  Give him money to spend, he is good.  Let him be able to provide for his family and he is happy.  Tell him something needs to be done, he will go sell more sales, but make him track income and expenses?  Get him to stick to a budget?  Get him to tend to TWC Notices?  IRS Letters?  File Franchise Tax Reports?  Get data ready for Corporate Taxes?  Stay on top of filing?  Pay bills timely?  Respond to a lawsuit before the deadline? Understand and complete the necessary forms to fill out for a new employee?  Ummmmm no, he will procrastinate.  This is why he needs me.  Or as he says, he desperately needs me. 

As we sit with the banker, I decided I wanted a cup of coffee to help my throat since I had not gotten up enough earlier to have a leisurely cup of hot tea.  I am 5 feet from my client and the banker, when another banking representative asks him, so is this your better half?  My client was not prepared for this.  He was speechless and fumbles at a response, actively shaking his head no, finally says no, no she isn't.  He was embarrassed.  Why?  Probably because I am all dressed up and he is not, so the little slur by this well meaning employee made him feel degraded.  I let them know he had "a better half" but that it wasn't me.  I was his accountant and we were a team.  The employee raised their eyebrows at me.  Oh?  I said, we wouldn't be able to be "halfs", we would drive each other crazy.  I let her know we work well together and have for over a year now, but that relationship would never work [even though he is married and has two daughters and isn't single, I was trying to make a point to this person].  My client then said something that made me realize how much he truly appreciates me and to the depth that he feels he desperately needs me.  He said, "Misty supports me in more ways than you could imagine with regards to my business, even emotionally with the business.  She gives to me more than I could ever ask for.  I can't do it without her."  

I was not prepared for this.  It isn't that my client can't give me a compliment, he never has given me one to this specific line.  He does say thanks, in his rough way, maybe buy me a Starbucks drink, but at that moment, I realized meeting him at the bankers office was a very huge deal to him.  When he had called me Monday asking me to come to the meeting with him, I had asked what I needed to have ready for the appointment...he said, nothing.  I took him at his word.  I wasn't even sure why he was having me come if "data wasn't needed".  

I know knew why he had me come, beyond the fact that I had to access the Dropbox app on my phone to supply the banker with the necessary information that he had not brought to the meeting, I was his emotional support in this encounter.  He gets nervous discussing finances.  He doesn't know how to give them gross vs net numbers.  He doesn't understand these things.  He gets frustrated at the questions.  At one point he tried to answer, the banker wasn't understanding, I jumped in and provided the answer.  He was agitated, and replied that's what I said, how come when she answers it you take her answer?  What did I say differently?  He kept asking me why this was taking so freaking long.  We were there two hours and he felt this was a complete waste of time.  He was irritated.  He was ready to walk out before we were even half done.  This is why he needed me.  This is why he desperately needs me.  

God allowed the events today for me to understand three lessons:  
  1. Each of us have unique abilities.  We are different, vastly different, but God uses us all on this journey...and he will use us more significantly when we surrender every little bit of us to him.  
  2. He wanted me to see clearly my abilities, the role I play with clients, and give me the message that what I am doing is just his plan and that I am good enough.  It is part of the process I am going through right now learning more about me, why I am who I am, and how my strengths and personality display itself.
  3. To remember that once again, what presents itself is not the whole picture.  There is always more going on behind the scene then you can see.  In this situation, he helped me see the reason why some people feel desperate and to keep that in mind as they ask for help.
From there, I met my friend Keith for lunch.  I don't think I blogged about the last lunch I had with him July...I should have, but probably didn't because I didn't write down anything in our time together.  In fact, I had left my notebook in the car...this time, I fixed that!  

I met Keith in 2010.  We served on a Networking Board for over a year together.  He is married and has two kids, is a Christian and loves to share his faith.  Keith was a huge supporter in my life during my hard time of business and physical issues.  He would call just to check in.  He would call to pray with me.  He is a joker.  He is light hearted but cares deeply about all the people he meets.  He knows life is hard.  As a guy, he doesn't walk away if you cry.  He gives everyone a hug.  He is a true friend.  Last time we met for lunch, I got to share my story and we finally had to part ways after 3.5 hours talking about God!!!  The nugget from sharing my story with him was when he said, "Misty, you have always been an amazing person, but you truly seemed to have blossomed, and really, that word doesn't even describe you!  You are absolutely amazing!!!  What you are allowing God to do in your life is a true testimony of His Love."  Keith's words have stuck with me. 

Today, he told me "If I could have just a little bit of your faith Misty, I want it.  You are truly an inspiration to so many.  You have faced some incredible tragedy and you have allowed God to take you outside the box."  Me have more faith than my friend Keith?  Not possible.  But from his view, I do.  At least right now.

This was his comment on Facebook under my post when I checked us in at the Mexican Restaurant: 

Lovin' me some Misty time, pure inspiration!


Keith may think I have lots of faith, but the faith I have has only come by exercising it daily.  My making God my absolute everything.  And when I say that, that is not a cliche comment.  God.is.my.everything.  I have nothing else.  By removing all the lies and anything "in the box" to "outside the box" he has become completely, my everything.  Yes literally, everything.  Nothing else but God matters to me.  

Keith doesn't realize that he is teaching me things to.  I am learning to have some close relationships with guys.  Guys that put God first like I do.  Guys that understand we are all messes.  We all feel as a burden.  I am learning to share my story.  God is teaching me lessons and in this process, I am seeing him in the details, ALL THE DETAILS!

I left that meeting to head to another client's office, get an allergy shot, swing by to pray with a girlfriend, and then get my weekly dose of heaven: some acupuncture.  

Jennifer had texted me Thursday asking if I was going to do the Beth Moore Simulcast Living Proof on Saturday.   I responded that I hadn't heard about it and wanted more details.  When I got home tonight, I checked the email and details and was trying to decide if I should go.  I have work that needs to be done and I was scheduled to work the day with Ashley.  Part of me didn't want to go by myself.  Why?  I donno, I do everything by myself and truly have no problem being alone.  Why was I feeling this?  Another part God was involved in.  He wanted me to reach out and email Ashley and asked if she would want to join me.  She texted me and said it sounded fun.  I made plans to cancel work and do this with her, and went and bought the tickets.

In the midst of all this, I hadn't been home but an hour when I got this text:
Hey Chica, are you able to make the Roadtrip event in Cincy?

[I didn't know who this was.  I didn't have this person in my phone.  I knew what the Roadtrip Event was, but who knew I wanted to go?]  

The response was:
Who is this?

I got:  Hahaha.  CLo

[Awwwhhhhhhh.  This is my Life Plan Coach, Chris LoCurto.  Ever have that feeling when you go from hesitation to pure elation?  Yah, it was one of those moments.  Chris is another anchor in my life.  Another guy teaching me lessons.  Another friend.]

ME:  LOL.  I didn't have your number. :)  I never bought a ticket.  I was hoping to be a blog winner.  LOL

CLO: Guess what
ME: What?  Other than I owe you an email!!!!!!!  [He emailed me a week after coaching and I still haven't responded, and its now been 2.5 weeks.]

CLO:  you won the Gold baby!!!

I won a Gold Ticket to this three day Roadtrip Event???  I was pretty sure he was messing with me.  Nope.  He was for reals.  June 19, 2013 he had posted a post on his blog in which he announced he would pick a winner.  Gold Ticket status includes a three night hotel stay, a gift card for food or the bookstore, and one ticket to the event.  

The blog said they were going to pick a winner on the 24th.  Did they and that person cancel and so they had to pick a new winner?  Did they just get so busy and forget and were just now getting to it and I was the true real winner?  Did they have more entries than they had counted on?  Did they have so many good ones that it made choosing hard?  Donno.  I promote Chris a bunch because I am a fan.  I support him. I want him to succeed.  He has changed my world, both in 2009 and now again in 2013.  

Regardless of how I won the ticket, I know who wants me to be there.  God does.  I know who planned this.  God did.  It gives me chill bumps.  It makes me stand back and be in awe at my amazing God!!!  Amazing.  

The old Misty would have thought this "just happened" to me, it was "pure chance" that I was the winner.  It's not.  It's God working out all the details.  It's God showing up and telling me where to go, what to do, how to live.  It's God directing my unique journey.  It's God who loves me.  It is God who is out to amaze me.  It is God!  

Do you see him?  Can I encourage you to start looking for him in your day?  He is there!  He is in everything.  Literally.  If you don't see him, you aren't looking.  He is not going to hide even if you don't see him, but if you are looking, he will be watching your face.  He will be waiting to smile back at you.  He will be waiting to give you a hug.  But you have to be looking for him.  He isn't going to beat you over the head with his presence.  He is your friend and he is for you!   A cheerleader fully supporting you on your journey.

Do you see God?

People Will...Jesus Won't


When people give up on you: Jesus Won't 
When people misunderstand you: Jesus Won't 
When people blame you: Jesus Won't 
When people insult you: Jesus Won't 
When people leave you: Jesus Won't
When people will not forgive you: Jesus Will

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

God is the Artist

Welcome to Texas!!!
Love my early morning walks...

with my God, prayer, worship music and the scenery.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Saturday, September 7, 2013

my friend Gail

I want to tell you about My Friend Gail.

After the wedding was over, I headed straight to the Marina where the Wedding Reception was to be held.  I wandered around, taking pictures, checking the place out, praising God for being able to come support my friend, yet feeling lost because I knew nobody but the Bride.  I was content to hang by myself, but being around people who mostly knew each other and being the outcast of the group [in more ways than one], I knew I was being watched and that creates a funny feeling in me.

I finally decided to try to find stuff to do to be helpful.  Initially I was just wandering around the area, looking for things to pickup, straighten and th elike.  I finally went and asked a lady [who ended up being Gail] what I could do to help.  She directed me to someone else.  This lady couldn't think of anything I could do.  I ended up just standing near so that I could be put to work.  I helped with arranging tables.  Putting ribbon on the cake tiered plate.  Arranging bright orange carnations between the cupcakes.  Moving stuff from one table to another when they needed that table for the sound system.  When all the tasks were done, I went and sat on the wall, out of site, near the edge of the covered pavilion.  

It was while I was sitting here that Gail came and joined me.  We made small talk.  It didn't take three minutes and we were talking about God, and no, I didn't start it.  She did.  She then introduced me to the Brides Mother.  We all chatted for a bit and then we split up.  

I stayed where I was and Gail joined me again in a bit.  I asked her if she wanted to pick a spot to sit.  She agreed.  We started visiting again about God while we were waiting for things to get on a roll.  In trying to learn about my new friend, I do what I always do.  I ask questions.  

Where do you live?  Are you married?  Do you have kids?  

I learned she lived in Estes Park.  She did the flowers for the wedding, to which when she learned I love working with flowers and have done several weddings myself, she wished I had been helping her.  Without realizing it, I asked loaded questions.  She was on her second marriage and her husband wants out.  She doesn't.  She was wearing sunglasses, but couldn't keep the tears back that spilled down her cheeks.  I told her I was sorry.  Truly sorry.  Tears spilled down mine too.  We got the strangest looks from people for sitting at a table all by ourselves and crying like fools at a wedding, for crying out loud!  I again apologized for asking such general questions that were hitting a tough spot in her life, something that was hurting, something that she may not have wanted to share with me, a total stranger.  She said no.  I said, yes Gail, I didn't mean to dig into your life to cause pain.  She said no.  I asked if today [the day of the wedding] was hard for her in light of her circumstances.  She said no, it is good for me.  It has reminded me of the vow's I made to my husband. I still mean them. I still want them. I still love him.  She shared how she has approached this lady, whose friendship and business partnership, though simply just that, has come between her and her husband.  In her attempt to try to find a way to mend the relationship and to try to resolve things, she didn't just do this once, she did it twice.  Nothing has changed.  

Wow!  I thought I was nervy.  I thought I had courage.  I thought I have faced some hard stuff?  This chic was not going to go down easy.

We then got in line to eat.  Our conversation continued and she now asked me some questions. I answered all of them.  She learned my story in an abridged five sentence version.  If we had been back at the table, not sandwiched between guys in line, I might have shared more, but I couldn't.  Not there.  

When we got back to the table and our conversation continued the entire time we sat there, we were never at a loss for something to talk about.  She told me more of her story.  She let me know that she needed this.  She recommended books to me.  We became instant friends.  I asked if she was on Facebook [because you know how addicted I am to it and absolutely love to connect with every person I meet].  She asked for my phone number.  We promised to stay in touch.  She then felt it was time for her to go and we hugged and parted ways.

She hadn't been gone 30 minutes when I regretted that I didn't get my picture with her, my friend. I texted her telling her so.  The sweet lady who sought me out because I was sitting alone, yet, it was me she needed to talk to.  It was me she needed to share her story with.  

Why did God have us meet?  I don't yet know, but I know this very much, he wanted us to!  I pray that I encouraged her, in some small way, even if I can't relate to her struggle in marriage, not having a man of my own, I can relate to pain. I can relate to hurt. I can relate to intense struggles. I can relate to the fight to survive for life.  I can relate to God becoming your everything, completely your every living breathing waking existing life motivating substance.

Josh & Elli's Wedding

my girlfriend, Elli & I on her special day!

Josh [in his United States Army Uniform to be deployed in October] with his Bride

the elated married couple...


The Bride & Groom's Dance


The Wedding Guest Book
we signed our names, wrote a note, highlighted a verse...here is mine!

the cake [on top] with cupcakes

the Marina [where the reception was held]

The Bridal Party

two families...no sides
[I have seen this before, but in light of my girlfriends family dynamics, I found this message powerful]

they are married!!!

Josh prayed with Elli before the end of the ceremony [really cool prayer!]

The Bridesmaids

The Groomsmen

sharing vows

here comes the Bride!!!

excited flower girl

flower girl & ring bearer...throwing petals all the way down the isle

isle decorations

the wedding site...a field in Estes Park, Colorado
[wish I had gotten a picture with Gail, my new friend, the lady sitting

on the far right 2nd to last row]

Thursday, September 5, 2013

thoughts on sharing My Story

Dear Blogging Friends,

You have found my blog and follow for whatever reason.  Whether you are an avid follower or a once a year reader, you read what you read.

You may be intrigued, you want to know me better, you may have known me as a little girl, you may have met me through a client, you may have worked with me in the past when I was an employee somewhere, you may have met me at a networking group, you may have stumbled upon my blog by a google search or a link someone shared, you may be one of my close friends, I may or may not know you, but whatever the reason, I pray that you are encouraged by what I share or post and that your life is blessed and made a tad bit sweeter even if just in one small nugget as our paths have crossed.

I have shared that I don't write for a following...I actually don't know who subscribes and who doesn't.  Yes, there is a list at right of who "follows" but that doesn't mean that these people really do any more than I really follow all the blogs that I have listed at the right of ones that have intrigued me at one point or another in time and that I added to the list.  Even if I could know who follows my blog, I don't believe that I would want to know.  I don't want to be concerned with what you are thinking or how what I write would affect you.  I don't write to get your approval.  I don't write to be famous or well known.  I write, simply because I enjoy sharing thoughts, nuggets and bits of things to encourage each of us on this Courageous Journey, even if it is only God who cares!

If it is not a Courageous Journey to you, I hope at some point it becomes that.

In writing, I know that my blog has evolved since it started several years ago.  I know that what I have shared has affected friendships at times in various ways.  It has made some people sad it has made some people elated.  Each part of my Courageous Journey has good times and bad times.  I am being developed this year personally in a way that only God knows the outcome, but I assure you I feel his touch, I see his hand, I don't understand his ways, but I trust his plan!

In sharing My Story about what I have faced in life, specifically in my childhood, about the extreme difficulties I have had to work to overcome [and in reality continue to work at overcoming], about the challenges life has presented me...I have realized that I need to share more with you, I must be specific and call things what they were and what they are. 

This boldness has brought about some difficulties in friendships, people who can't handle the information, people who have changed after learning more of My Story, people who can't believe I have been through what I have been through, people who can't deal with the feelings of being uncomfortable by the details and can't take what I have written, people who wish they could have done something to prevent it, and more.

In some ways, I was unprepared for this.  In some ways, it has only added to hurt.  The relationships that have backed away have only made me experience, yet again, being abandoned. 

I understand, but the sting is there.

Today, I want you to know something very clearly:  I do not write to make you feel bad.  I do not write to hurt your feelings about stuff you did or didn't know was transpiring in my childhood.  I do not write to make it difficult for you. I do not write to get you to share what you don't want to share or can't share.

I appreciate that you care and have concern for me.  It means bunches to me that you wish you could change my childhood just as much as I wish I could have.  More than anything, I wish I could have seen, felt and believed God was with me through all the pain, difficulty, and ugliness that transpired for years and years by parents who were religious and stated they had faith in God. 

Please don't feel bad.  Please don't feel "if only", "I should have", "I wish".  I understand those feelings.  But remember this:  God planned this exactly how he wanted my life to be.  The complete pain, difficulty, and ugliness!!!  He is soverign and he wanted this for my good, because his work in me is for good.

With sincere heartfelt appreciation for letting me share My Story with YOU,

your Courageous Journey Friend

Quotes

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

song ~ my one and only

My One and Only
Rachael Lampa

I'm flying high in your arms tonight
Passing the satellites, the earth is fading fast
Don't care where we go, let's make it last
Facing up to the speed of light, with time at our backs

I'm right here next to you and feeling so fearless now
We can do anything, nothing can hold us down
You rescued me from the weight of the world and I want you to know

You are my one and only
You're not like the rest, I know that you've got my back
You are, you are
You are my one and only
Right from the start, you saved my damaged heart
You are, you are, you're the one and only, only, only

Every time that I see you smile
It's like all of the universe is dancing in your eyes
A new star is born so let's make a wish
Let's put on a show tonight and light up the sky

I'm right here next to you and feeling so fearless now
We can do anything, nothing can hold us down
You rescued me from the weight of the world and I want you to know

You are my one and only
You're not like the rest, I know that you've got my back
You are, you are
You are my one and only
Right from the start, you saved my damaged heart
And you are, you are
My one and only yea, my one and only yeah, my one and only yea yea
My one and only yea, my one and only yeah, my one and only yea yea

My love will last forever, that's right I said forever
It's all because you made my heart believe
It's something powerful, so indestructible
It will live for eternity

You are my one and only
You're not like the rest, I know that you've got my back
You are, you are
You are my one and only
Right from the start, you saved my damaged heart
And you are, you are my one and only
My one and only yea, my one and only yeah,
My one and only
My one and only yea, my one and only yeah
My one and only

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Counseling Session #13

I have had nearly a two week break in counseling.  Is that possible?  The calendar says it is.  It doesn't feel like it.

Not sure what we accomplished today.  In some ways it was a "lite day".  

I shared with her how amazed I am at how God works.  I could not have done my Life Plan Coaching with Chris LoCurto if I had not started counseling June 3rd.  Not a chance. I would not have been ready to delve into "me" the way we needed to to be effective and profitable of the time.  I am not going to tell you that that was an easy process, but I will tell you I would do it again in a heartbeat, as costly as it was.  I don't spend money quickly or easily, especially on myself.

Reviewed the sibling drama from my vacation.  She asked to read the text messages.  She could not finish them.  She said Misty, this is just too much.  Do you realize this?  Do you see the manipulation?  The control?  Clearly?  I told her I did...

And then I walk away and wonder how I put up with this if she can't even read it?  

I showed her the postcard sent to me and my sister by Mom in care of a local minister from The Assembly, who then mailed to me...letting me know the house next door was for sale if I/we wanted to move home.  [I shredded it when I got home.]

Ugh.  No.  That is not home.  I have a home...a nice home...a place that is called home and feels like home more than my childhood ever did.

I thought I had provided her copies of my Dad's letter and my letter...regardless, she got copies today.  I can tell she had thoughts but she didn't share them, which I know means discussion is coming later.

We will resume my story next week.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Day 5 in Franklin

The detailed plan for today was NONE.  The agenda was to become refreshed.  To refocus on becoming aligned within my Spirit from the work done the last two days.

I slept in...late, very late, later than I dreamed imaginable. Long past morning time for breakfast, or even a late breakfast.  I woke up still feeling exhausted, feeling the need to write what was on my heart and share my Day 2 of Coaching, but between the internet or blogger, or both, I couldn't seem to achieve it.  I finally decided to call it quits and go and tour Downtown Franklin.  

In getting ready, I quickly realized how starved I absolutely was.  It is really not good for me to go that long without food and if I don't fix it fast, I pay consequences for hours.  I remembered I had my leftover squid salad in the refrig in my room...but no spoon or fork. Searching around to see if I could possibly locate something to use, I got creative and used the two stir sticks in the room to be used for coffee as my wimpy chopsticks!  This was my breakfast...and it was delicious!!! and it was very soon that I was feeling much better.

In the midst, of this I had to deal with sibling drama being hurled at me.  Accusations.  Anger.  Frustration.  Blame.  Condemnation.  Guilt.  More Guilt.  Verbal abuse.  I tried to respond kindly and ask for space, but the response was only more of the same.  I felt my world changing, my day being torn apart, and once again and I knew this was not healthy for me.  

I needed space.  I needed quiet.  Why wasn't no good enough?  Because I wasn't making it be good enough.  You will give me space.  You will let me unplug from my computer, my phone, people, life, to do my coaching and spend time reflecting.  You will not control me.  You won't instill your negative thinking on me, however I will choose to be positive in spite of the things you are saying.  I realize what you are doing is not being loving towards me.  I can't and won't meet your expectations.  You will be kind.  You will be respectful.  I will not let you talk to me like this.  

Reminders from my coaching came through as I tried to deal with this: 
An abuser wants to control you...wants to break down the Misty that doesn't love her, the Misty that will beat herself down, the Misty that isn't able to receive compliments, the Misty that doesn't feel good enough... 
An abusers goal is to wear you down emotionally so you give in.

My sibling was succeeding.  I was frustrated.  The boundaries need to be set.  When was I going to change?  Now.  Right now.  I said it, it wasn't received, I hung up.  

Dear God!  I need your love.  I need your strength.  I need you to help me keep the vision.  I need you to show me my purpose.  I need to remember to fight the lies with truth.

Lyrics from some of my favorite songs pounded my heart.  My head.  The depths of my soul.  They bring life in the midst of fears.  Pain.  Chaos.

Not knowing what I wanted to do with my day, I decided to wander in my car and tour some housing districts.  I found some really cute places that I took pictures of.  From there I found a place to park for 4 hours for free and I meandered the shops on Main Street in Downtown Franklin.  I shopped two blocks of shops, both sides of the street and got two really cute items to add to my casa back in Burleson.  One of the shops that I spent a lot of time in was called The Iron Gate.  Love the decor of this place!!! A little bit of shabby chic, a little bit of modern, a little bit of classic, a little bit of french grey, and a fair amount of vintage.  What style is this I asked the shop owners?  They stated that it doesn't have a theme or name that they are aware of, its a mix.  And the mix is gorgeous!!!  I got the sign at one of the first few shops that I went in, called HeyDay.  They had cute gifts, candles, pictures, household decor, books, etc.  I loved the message on this sign and felt it would be a good reminder for me from the time spent in my Life Plan Coaching and the rest of my week spent in Franklin.  The very last shop I went in was called Philanthropy.  The experience I had in this shop was absolutely amazing!!! I will be doing a full post on this alone because it was unbelieveable and what this shop is doing is downright incredible.

From there I ate at a place called Gray's, it had just opened a few weeks ago and was getting great reviews.  It is expected to excel very quickly because of the service, the food, the uniqueness of the place.  I think I may have to go back for lunch tomorrow!


Gray's - Downtown Franklin

purchases downtown Franklin

two items to remember this part of my journey...not the best lighting here in the hotel,
I
 will have to show you what they look like in my cool house!

I got this pillow at HeyDay at the Historical District in Franklin, TN today while I strolled through the shops...
Pillow: Thank you God for blessing me more than I deserve


I got this sign at Philanthropy, a store of Fashion and Compassion.  
Everything changed the day they figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in life.


I could have spent hours in here.  They have an incredible mission...little words here and there, a place for you to write your prayers out for people to pray for you.  Wow!!!  I am amazed at how God works.  This shop was right where I parked three hours previously, but was the last one I went into before closing.  An accident???  No way!!!