the cost of vulernability

Being vulnerable comes at a cost.

It is a cost of removing that mask that you think you like on yourself. The one that you have to change depending on who is standing in front of your face. For the one who couldn't bear seeing the raw beauty of your face.

It is a cost of showing people who you really are, not who you think people want you to be or are expected to be or dreamed you wanted to be or thought you were.

It is a cost of baring your soul, all of your soul.

It is a cost of facing rejection.

It is a cost of not being understood, believed, or accepted.

It is the cost of being condemned for your truth.

It is the cost of losing people you thought were on your team, by your side, one of those go to peeps.

It is the cost of leaving behind everything you have ever known.

It is the cost of knowing that the truth is more important than the lies that surround being fake.

It is the cost of believing there is more in store for you by never going back to those masks.

It is the cost that you pay for being an original.

Will you join me in being vulnerable? Will you remove your mask so I can see your soul? Will you realize that those that reject you do not love you? Will you embrace freedom?
‪#‎VulnerabilityIsFreedom‬ ‪#‎RemoveTheMask‬ ‪#‎Authenticity‬ ‪#‎BeYOU‬‪#‎BeAnOriginal‬

laying down the performance-mentality...

Laying down the performance-mentality feels so vulnerable because you’ve learned to use performance as a safety net in life. It’s something you can fall back on to feel good in the moment.

But to develop a real connection to yourself, the people you love and the work you do means laying the actor aside and allowing the real you to be fully seen! - Brandon Hawk
‪#‎BeYOU‬ ‪#‎Authenticity‬ ‪#‎RemoveTheMask‬ ‪#‎BeConnected‬‪#‎VulnerabilityIsFreedom‬ ‪#‎YOUcommunity‬

Gratitude 02212016

Laying in bed in San Diego. Reflecting on my life this last month. It has been one month since the loss of a great person in my life. So freaking amazed at all the ways God has brought healing into my soul through the intense pain. The people he had positioned at various points along the journey to give hugs, love, words of encouragement, support, prayers, and the blessings all of this has been to me. I have a heart full of gratitude! Immense gratitude.

Life truly is beautiful! Embrace it. Live it fully. Intentionally. Passionately. Purposefully. Today.

‪#‎CreateTheLifeYouWant‬ ‪#‎LiveWithGratitude‬‪#‎LiveIntentionally‬ ‪#‎LoveMyLife‬

how do you view blocked comments?

The moment you see a friends post and it lists a certain number of comments, and you being the connector you are, the person who likes to read what other people think and feel and believe, you click to read the comments and you can't see them.

Yah, people say nobody knows when you are blocked on Facebook and you just move on. But the reminders are small ways that continue to alert you of something you don't have. A lost connection.

You can see it as a slap in the face, the knife to the heart, the kick in the gut...

OR...

You can see it as someone who doesn't like your light shinning in their eyes, a person who wants negativity and drama, a person who is really hurting and doesn't know how to heal, unable to accept love, unable to give love, and unable to feel forgiveness.

Truth cannot be hid. Honesty and integrity are visible to everyone. Love always wins.

‪#‎LovePeople‬ ‪#‎LiveLoveLead‬ ‪#‎ChooseToBeDifferent‬‪#‎StandOut‬

Love

Love doesn't flee. 
Love isn't jealous.
Love doesn't cheat. 
Love isn't cruel.
Love doesn't make you feel bad yourself.
Love endures.
- Evan Marc Katz 
‪#‎LoveOnPurpose‬ ‪#‎ChooseLove‬ ‪#‎LoveNeverFails‬

your everyday choices

You and I are presented with choices every day.

You will look at my situation and circumstance and think or say I should or could do this / that. I will look at your situation and think or say you should or could do this / that. Yet the reality is, we will only be addressing what we see by OUR OWN beliefs, life's experiences and perceptions. Without all concepts affecting the thinking and acting of an individual, fully in that person's personality, we really can't be in a position to know or say what they should or could do. Yes, there are patterns and some things have a formula that always work, but the only way that calculation can be correct is if you have all pieces.

There are two sides to every situation. Sometimes choosing what is the best choice is confusing. Sometimes clarity isn't simple. Sometimes it is.

There is a time for everything...and in your life you will have certain situations that you will be presented with both sides of the equation.

- There is a time to hold on and there is a time to let go.
- There is a time to do more, be more, have more...there is a time to do less, be less, have less.
- There is a time to give and there is a take.
- There is a time to push through and there is a time to step back.
- There is a time to share and there is a time to have a secret.
- There is a time to talk about what is happening and there is a time to be quiet and let things ride.
- There is a time to extend more love and there is a time to honor boundaries more firmly.

Can I encourage you to ask questions to help someone figure out what is the right time for them to do these things in their life? Can I encourage you not to judge and say they are wrong for what they are thinking and doing differently then you are? Can you pray for them when you see something you think they should or could do that would create different results in their life?

The word should is full of guilt. The word could gives power and options and let's them see they have a choice. There is much power in the choice of our words.
‪#‎RelationshipsMatter‬ ‪#‎WhoseVoiceAreYouListeningTo‬ ‪#‎ThePowerOfChoice‬

how I choose to repair a relationship

You offend someone. You hurt them. You insult them. You trigger them to become angry. Now what?

For me, I always try to first see it from their perspective. What did I say that offended you? How did I hurt you? How did I insult you? How did I trigger your anger button? Once I have this information, I process and then respond with I am sorry.

Be clear with what you are sorry for: I am sorry that what I said caused this reaction in you. I am sorry I offended you. I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry you felt insulted. I am sorry you have become angry. I never meant to hurt you or others. I never meant to cause a problem between us. I then let them know what I simply meant to convey through my statement was ____________________ . You are not responsible for how they respond, but you can be responsible for how you triggered and set them off, whether it was knowingly or unknowingly.

I then ask for forgiveness. I am sorry for ______________________ and I ask you to please forgive me.

I also end the conversation with Thank YOU for letting me know you were/are offended, hurt, insulted, triggered. Thank YOU for letting me do what I can to fix this. Thank YOU for being a part of my life and helping me grow to be a better person. Thank YOU for accepting my apology (whether they really do or not, don't judge.)

I love you and appreciate you. I always tell them I love them. Always.

Does this repair all relationships? Yes and No.

It allows for a bridge of healing to be established between both parties, it doesn't mean the bridge of healing will take place. It allows for open communication, but it doesn't mean open communication by both parties will take place. It allows for love to be given and felt, if both parties engage in this method.

I have again been faced with the reality that you cannot control whether someone will receive your apology or not. You cannot force them to accept your apology. They have a will and a choice to do so. You cannot make someone accept love. You cannot make someone resolve their anger. You cannot make someone see your perspective. You cannot make someone see that you didn't mean to hurt them. You cannot make someone forgive you. They have to want to heal their own wound. They have to want to receive your forgiveness. They have to want that peace.

ALL YOU can control is YOUR part.

Don't let this stop you from being loving. Don't let this create a wall where one can be torn down. Don't let this stop you from responding in a way you will later wish you had had more control in the moment. Don't let their issues stop you from being who you can be because you choose to be. Even if they are ugly to your face or behind your back, online or offline. Keep the focus in mind as to what is important.
‪#‎RelationshipsMatter‬ ‪#‎LoveOnPurpose‬ ‪#‎BeLoving‬ ‪#‎Forgiveness‬

2 sides to every story

There are 2 sides to every story:

When you want to understand you will ask questions. When you want to judge and make assumptions, you won't ask questions.

When you desire the truth, you will seek to find it.

When you want to live in peace, you will do everything to create healing, love and a connection. When you want to live in anger, you will attack, blame, resent and create disconnection.

When you want to know what was said or done, by all participants, then and only then can create a clear perspective of reality.

Whose voice are you listening to?
‪#‎RelationshipsMatter‬ ‪#‎WhoseVoiceAreYouListeningTo‬ ‪#‎ChooseLove‬

let them...

Let them judge you.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them gossip about you.
Their opinions aren't your problem.

You stay kind, committed to love, and free in your authenticity.

No matter what they do or say don't you dare doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth.

Just keep on shinning like you do.
- Scott Stabile
‪#‎StayFocused‬ ‪#‎StandOut‬ ‪#‎ChooseToBeDifferent‬ ‪#‎LoveOnPurpose‬

Dear Misty ~ Love God

Dear Misty, I will always ♡ LOVE ♡ YOU!!!

You are my beautiful princess. I made you with a gorgeous beauty to share with the world. With lovely deep blue eyes that want to see everything from everyone else's perspective. A head of dark bouncy girls that make you a doll. You have amazing skin. Make sure you remember how beautiful you are!!!

You have a brave, courageous, generous, and loving spirit! Your passion and enthusiasm for life shows in everything you do. Make it a priority to nourish and cherish your soul...and you will blossom deeper into an even more beautiful rose.

I know you love me and have a covenant with me. Keep this focus in spite of your experiences and pain in life. Don't be afraid of or question the path I am taking you on. Be gentle, loving, respectful, loyal and kind. Stay connected to me in faith. Keep your positive spirit alive! Don't let anyone dim your light. I want you to sparkle!!!

Continue to create the life you want, living intentionally with and in gratitude and you will glow and experience the abundant blessing I have for you. You are destined to do great things!

Love, God
‪#‎LettersFromGod‬ ‪#‎TheLifeOfMisty‬ ‪#‎BeCourageous‬ ‪#‎BeGenerous‬‪#‎BeLoving‬

Prayer 01.14.2016

Dear God, Help me to live today in your power, with your perspective, and for your purpose. Amen. ‪#‎PrayerChangesLives‬ ‪#‎Pray‬ ‪#‎GodIsWithMe‬

Tribute to Sandra

Dear Sandra,

Today is your Memorial.  Just as much as you were celebrated when you came into the world, today I will celebrate you having left this world!

Today I celebrate the person you were, the life that you gave and shared with me, the faith that you were not afraid to talk about or show, your courage to press on even when death looked you in the face over and over and over, even in days when your pain was out of control, the days you laid in a hospital bed wavering between life and death, even in days when you wanted to die, even when you didn't understand what God was doing, even then, you still loved God.

Your life was one filled with challenges most would never be able to comprehend.  One filled with extreme pain.  Yet, as I reflect on the memories of the times we shared together, I am blessed to have known you.  Blessed to have been able to share this journey with you.

Today, I celebrate you!!!  You are in Heaven wearing Gold Slippers, having Angels Wings, and you have received your own personal crown as the Princess of The One True King with glitter and diamonds and you are dancing to Heavens Choir.  Your party today will have no tears, no pain, no regrets, no sadness, no difficulties, no sickness, no medicine.

Your party today is one filled with amazing LOVE of Jesus, the one who called you home on Thanksgiving Day 2015.  I find God's timing to bring you home on this day, not a mistake. I find the way you quickly went after years of misery, not a mistake.  God doesn't make mistakes and He has a message for everyone here to know and learn.  Your faith continues to speak to those around you.  I love you and appreciate all you were to me dear Sandra!

I love and celebrate you today!!!

This is Who I Will Be

Life has disappointments, unexpected results, challenges. Often. Ones that sometimes make you loose hope, to the point you can become angry or depressed. The normal response is to complain. To not look for the beauty in the ugly situation. To believe that you have a right to feel the way you do.

And yes, there is an aspect that your feelings are valid. Please don't disregard them or try to shove them aside as being unimportant or something that is wrong. Yet it is in that moment that it is most important, to not look to remain a victim or focus on the negative in your thought processes. The power to change your situation is in that one small choice.

When I first became interested in motivational and positive affirmations, I thought that these people put on a front for their conferences and didn't/couldn't live the life they talked. That is what had been modeled to me for years, how could I think anything differently? People who had a mask, showing one face in certain settings and portraying another in others. I wanted what they had so desperately. Then I thought they really didn't face deep dark hard things like I had in life. I learned how far from the truth that was. I wondered if they put motivation and positive affirmations above God.

Yet as I have met and observed many lives, taken many courses, studied lots of material, I have found that there are true individuals [yes among the ones who don't], who know what being authentic is like, not just as a fad or cliché statement it has sort of become, but who really walk the talk. Not just people who have bought a line and are trying to sell a hype to make money. Full out walk the talk. And full out have seen the results hard proof in their lives by these daily simple choices.

I want more of these type of people in my life: People who do all things without complaining. People who love. People who show grace when the moment makes it hard to be grace filled. People who believe in mercy. People who choose to be of service instead of self focused. People who know the importance of kindness. People who make the choice daily to be different. People who desire to be a blessing, just because they have been in a place of need once themselves; they desire to pay it forward. People whose presence brings peace. People who know the value of life and make efforts to share in each others lives. People who honor their word in all situations. People who expect out of me what they expect out of themselves. People who have patience to help me grow, knowing that it's layers we work through to achieve results. People who have courage, to encourage me to keep the fight. People who know love heals all wounds. People who want to be authentic on all levels.

This is my purpose in life. To be just like those people I want in my life. Always. In everything. First with myself, then with you.

When I find a mask showing up, I am going to remove it. When I find my heart not following its true desires, I will unlock the key to change direction. When a door closes, I will search the hallways for another door, even if it requires flights of stairs. When I feel my passion suffocating, I will take a deep breath and let it out, for then I am forced to take in a new breath of fresh air. When I feel my vision covered by fog, I will give it time to evaporate. If I come to a place where I can't find my vision, I will seek quiet time until I do. When I feel the threat of regret, I will remember that I always have a choice, for there are no regrets, only lessons to learn. When I feel fear taking over, I will remember the power I have been given. When emotional pain threatens to destroy all hope, I will remember the times and ways God has shown up previously. When enemies or circumstances threaten to create defensiveness, I will consciously choose to respond in love. I will find the light to drive out the darkness. I will choose to make prayer my focus to become renewed. When all else fails, I will start with a fresh canvas.

No matter how crummy I feel right now, nor the plans I continue to have to cancel or the ways life isn't showing up to be how I want to live....no matter the inner struggles I am facing to try to find answers that seem to elude me...no matter the challenges to communicate and be understood...no matter how lost I feel for direction...no matter the ongoing battle to believe I am good enough, worthy, wanted...I will question whose voice I am listening to. This is who I will be!

I will choose to be grateful.

I will choose to believe in life.

I will choose to have hope.

I will choose to seek the truth.

I will choose to love.

I pray you will do the same. 
‪#‎WhoseVoiceAreYouListeningTo‬‪#‎CreateTheLifeYouWant‬ ‪#‎LiveWithGratitude‬ ‪#‎LiveIntentionally‬

today's challenge

Today's challenge:

- slay pessimism
- defeat lack
- starve fear
- abolish offense
- forsake scarcity

[inspired by @TimWoodyFtWorth and II Cor 9:8]

Prayer 11.06.2015

I would love to pray for you today. I would love to encourage you to have hope in your pain. I want you to not make excuses and expect excellence. I would love to be a warrior on your side, petitioning your requests to God. I would love to thank Him for the things you are grateful for. I would love to pray that you won't live in fear, that you will embrace your journey, and move forward creating the life that you want. I would love for you to listen to that still small voice inside and not the chatter of other voices. I would love for you to know you matter and that God has your back.

I want to be your advocate. I want you to be mine. I want to share in your life. I want you to share in mine. I want to love you. I want you to love me. I want to give you grace. I want you to give me grace.
‪#‎PrayerChangesLives‬ ‪#‎ShareInEachOthersLives‬ ‪#‎HaveHope‬‪#‎LovePeople‬ ‪#‎CreateTheLifeYouWant‬ ‪#‎YouMatter‬ ‪#‎PrayerWarriors‬

Live with No Regrets

I am a list maker. I like to see what needs to be done and feel the accomplishment of being very productive. It's something that makes me thrive.

For the last few months, I have been making a list of things I need to do/want to get done before going to Uganda to ensure I got the important things done and didn't forget anything. Once I returned it was used to help me prioritize what I needed to do so I could stay focused on work and get caught up while dealing with the aftermath of my travels and all that affected me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I have recently been working on making a new list of people I have made promises to and haven't fulfilled, people I want to connect with either for additional time together or for the first time to get acquainted, projects I want to complete, things I want to accomplish in my life, goals I have to make sure I finish out 2015 the way I want...

However, in reviewing an item that has been on my list since July 2015, "return VM to Margaret King", I decided to stop work and make it happen event though my day is very full and the schedule is in overdrive from spending the weekend not doing my chores on top of being Monday and all that that day entails. Margaret called the week before I was going to Uganda and it just didn't work out to be a part of my schedule. Yet, I have thought of her several times, haven't known when to call her, and if she would be up to talking. For those that don't know, this lady has cancer, is ridden up in bed being paralyzed on one side of her body, and can't do anything without the support of her husband. Yet she is making calls frequently to tell people a message: I love you and have changed from being the judgmental person I once was.

I just decided I would leave a message if she couldn't talk just like she did for me. She answered and we talked 25 minutes. I wasn't sure what I could say that would make a difference, but I prayed that I might brighten her day. I wasn't sure what she wanted to tell me, but I prayed that she would remember. I wasn't sure what I could even do to help, but I prayed that somehow my talk would help.

I shared 3 memories with her. An evening at a Friday Night Sing at church when Jon and her talked to me trying to learn more about why I moved to Texas and the similarities her parents and my parents were alike in upbringing and abuse, my 1st surgery in Texas when her and John came to visit me when my own Dad was never allowed into my bedroom because I was in my nightgown, and after a testimony I gave September 2012 when I laid my heart out to these people who had been judging what I was going through physically in my life and begged people to come sit on my couch and give me a chance to share and stop assuming what was going on - Margaret said she wanted to be one to sit on my couch and listen. I encouraged her to reflect on her blessings and continue to do what she is doing, making a difference in someone else's life by letting them know she loves them.

None of us know how much time we have, but we all have the opportunity to make a difference and to choose! I struggle with this too. Though I get lots done, and can be so driven I drive some of my friends crazy, I also can procrastinate and feel I am not good enough. I have to work through my negative thoughts. But I am learning to let the vision of what I want my life to be be what fuels my fire each day and continue to Seize The Day as my voicemail tells you to do!

Isn't it crazy how we make excuses for why something isn't the right time? Isn't it crazy how we think we aren't capable of making someones day better? Isn't it crazy how it only takes a minute to impact someones life? Isn't it crazy how we spend more time trying to think things through instead of just creating action? Isn't it crazy how we live more from a zone of regrets then positive memories?

I am sharing to encourage you to DON'T LIVE WITH REGRETS!‪#‎CreateTheLifeYouWant‬ ‪#‎MakeTheMostOfTheMoment‬‪#‎PursueYourDreams‬ ‪#‎BrightenSomeonesDay‬ ‪#‎NoRegrets‬ ‪#‎SeizeTheDay‬‪#‎BeDifferent‬

Prayer 08.22.2015

Asking for prayer isn't about putting burdens on friends. It's about letting them walk with us down a path we were NEVER intended to walk alone. -Renee Swope with Proverbs 31 Ministries ‪#‎ThePowerOfPrayer‬‪#‎PrayerChangesLives‬ ‪#‎Pray‬ ‪#‎PrayerWarriors‬

As one who values the power of prayer, who has seen the results of Prayer Warriors dedicated to praying on my behalf, who knows the privilege and the opportunity it is to communicate with God, whom I consider a very close friend, and let him know my thoughts, feelings, blessings and challenges...I have done some personal development, reflection, and study on prayer as I was challenged earlier this year by someone who had previously been very close to me tell me that prayer was a private matter and not something to be done in a public format; that my requests for prayer on Facebook were an attempt for show, to be nosy in other peoples business, and that I was proud of my prayer life; and more.

I wondered if I had put a higher importance on prayer then God wanted me to have. I wondered if I had incorrectly believed it's power. I wondered if others felt as this person did. I wondered so many hurtful and difficult thoughts.

And yet what did I do? I prayed about them. I asked God to show me how prayer was supposed to be used in my life. I asked God to help me figure out these answers. I asked God to reveal to me the importance of prayer.

Over the last 6 months, I have come to believe even with deeper conviction that PRAYER changes LIVES! PRAYER is POWERFUL! PRAYER is IMPORTANT! PRAYER creates PEACE! PRAYER is LIFE! ...and I will continue to be a part of your life in prayer!

Prayer 06.23.2015

Too often we pray ASAP prayers — as soon as possible. We need to start praying ALAT prayers — as long as it takes. ‪#‎PrayerChangesLives‬

Father's Day Reflections

I have very few childhood pictures outside of my yearly school photos. I think this is the only picture I have of me with me Dad, provided to me by one of my Aunts last year.

I am 6 months old in this picture and my Dad is 32. I don't ever remember sitting in my Dad's lap though I am in this photo and I am sure it happened more than once. I was raised to give my Dad a kiss good night before bed and he was usually sitting at his desk in the living room, transcribing preachers messages on a typewriter, reading the newspaper or a book, paying bills or reconciling the checkbook. I would approach him and stand by his desk, waiting for him to acknowledge me. He would look up annoyed and I would fearfully say, I came to say good night. He sometimes would soften and lean his check out for me to kiss. It was never a throw your arms around his neck and snuggle close kind of moment. My Dad never cared what was going on in my heart and mind, how I was doing with school, or what interests I had and at age 14, my Dad in a heated discussion with me, he confirmed that he never wanted kids and that he only had them because my Mom wanted them. I was never left alone with my Dad nor was he allowed to even hug me. My Mom was deeply concerned he would be inappropriate with us and prevented us from ever being in that setting with him.

6 month old me with 32 year old Dad

Yet, today, as I see people write about their Father being The Best Dad, I have a different perspective. I am gonna share who my Dad was to me and can't pretend he was The Best Dad. Yet at the same time, I am keenly aware that there are others like me who didn't have The Best Dad and you feel like there is something wrong with you because you didn't. You may have a hard time with Father's Day. You may be envious of the relationships that others portray they have. It took years for me to work through these thoughts and feelings. However, the fact remains, he was my Dad and though we never had the chance to have the relationship I wanted, I am grateful for so many things, and I know the bulk of this wasn't something he could control and came from his inability to face his own fears. The pain he had with guilt. The stipulations he felt he had to follow from others, the love and forgiveness he never got from his wife, and ultimately the life he could not have because he let my Mom rule the house and he eventually died (literally) from her killing any desire in him to live.

For years I could not understand. For years I could not imagine living that unhappy. For years I never dreamed someone would accept their situation like he did and not make choices to change their life. This drove me to be different and create a different life. This drove me to find answers.

I am grateful for the skills my Dad gave me in accounting, in a desire to create a legible great penmanship, in the meaning of writing in the front cover of a book you give to someone, of his love for the bible and theology (tho yes, sometimes it was so over the top you dreaded bible studies), his admiration for a great book (he collected books), his passion to share Jesus with every person who knocked on our door to give us literature for their religion, his few favorite foods that he so appreciated when we cooked them for him, and a love for saving and being frugal after getting my hard earned pay. My Dad's level of commitment to his job, no matter how stressful or what hours it took to complete, never diminished. He believed in being responsible on all levels to your employer and he taught me to do the same. My Dad had some great character traits that he taught me without words and by his actions.

Dad had a nickname for me and it was Strombolini. I never understood it, don't know it's meaning or where it came from, but he was never angry with me when he used it and was usually in a great mood.

I do have a few fond memories with my Dad. I remember one New Years Eve me and my Sister got to go at midnight to the grocery store with my Dad to buy one bag of candy each. We were giddy!!! Skipping along. Happy and laughing and excited. Beyond words, first to be up so late, second to be out with Dad, third to get to buy and eat candy was unheard of.

The second fond memory I have is when my dad had to take me to Junior High School because the bus didn't come out as far as we lived and my Mom would not get up that early to take me, besides it was on my Dad's way to work. She figured nothing would happen because I had to be at school and Dad had to be at work so she would eventually know if there was a problem. Even though I sat in the shot gun seat scared to death that I would do something to make my Dad "lust after me" and held my seat belt away from my chest in order to not expose the shape of my breasts (as instructed by my Mom), I would work very hard to break the cold walls of silence in my Dad. And eventually we had a few great conversations. When I graduated from Junior High School to take the Independent Study course from home, he actually cried that we were not gonna have time together. I suggested we create other opportunities for this, but with the dynamics of my home life that did not happen. This interaction with my Dad prepared me for being Self Employed and dealing with Physician's and their cold walls they put up to keep people out.

Dad was always unique in his form of discipline. As the oldest of 3 kids, I tended to be bossy and a tattle tail, and so Dad decided one day that I needed to get one of his ties for work and he tied it around the belt on my dress and I had to wear it the rest of the day to remember to not be a tattle tail. I remember people coming to the house and I still had to wear the tie. I wanted to die. I felt so humiliated. But in all seriousness, I think it had more impact than spanking my butt ever would have!

Yet, to get a letter from my Dad 3 months before he passed away...asking for forgiveness, apologizing for not being the Dad to me he should have been for contributing to some dynamics I deal with today...I could never have asked for anything more. I didn't believe my Dad had the ability to do this and that he risked so much to do so, will always remain a dear treasure in my heart for his ability to be humble and reach out after no communication with me for 16 YEARS!!!

You never know what small things your children will remember. You never know what moments will make the greatest impact. Don't be so caught up in your life not to realize that truly, it's the small things that count. Even if you don't have The Best situation, you can choose to remember the moments that bring a smile, the things that contributed to make you who you are today, and have a new perspective for what someone else went through.

‪#‎2015FathersDay‬ ‪#‎CreateTheLifeYouWant‬ ‪#‎LiveWithGratitude‬‪#‎FocusOnTheGoodThings‬

Kindness - No Dirt

You might not like the way someone handles some things. You might feel they are unfair. You might do things differently. You might be done and want out. You might be upset. You might have a lot of feelings over the circumstances.

You can always choose to take the high road. You can always be professional. You can always treat someone the way you want to be treated. You can always be truthful. You can always always always be respectful.

I continue to be amazed at the character of people who refuse to show up when the tables or events create dynamics that make life challenging. Stop and think first. Don't over react. Don't dish out the dirt.
‪#‎BeKind‬ ‪#‎ChooseToBeDifferent‬ ‪#‎BeProfessional‬ ‪#‎HaveIntegrity‬‪#‎LetTheFireRefineYou‬

Mother's Day Reflections

I have very few pictures from my childhood. Let alone with my Mom. This one of us is during the stay after my birth in the Hospital. 

Though my childhood has very few fond memories and was filled with lots of emotional, physical and mental abuse, I choose to reflect on and remember the things that have made me who I am today.

I am grateful for the skills my Mom gave me in a strong work ethic. She taught me to play the piano having had 12 years of lessons herself. To cook from scratch. To sew all my clothes. To appreciate the value of saving money and not buying something I could not afford. To reach out and develop friendships by writing letters every single week to an adoptive Grandma Potter and to one girlfriend. To be a friend to everyone and not just the gals I wanted to have as friends. To love the process of learning. The opportunity and choice I had to create an internal culture of choosing to be positive in the midst of an ugly, painful, and devastating environment. To stand strong even when I was being torn down on every level. To believe the importance of having courage even when there is no hope of change. To be willing to ask questions even when it challenged the leadership and authority of my parents. To not back down. To be a woman of strength. 

#2015MothersDay #CreateTheLifeYouWant#LiveWithGratitude #FocusOnTheGoodThings