Day 5: Blog writing = 336 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
Sunday, January 5, 2014
work never hurt a body
One of the lines I heard the most growing up was:
Mom would say that to us when we would complain about the number of chores that we had to do. Or when we disliked the task. Or when we would state "We never get to play."
I believe my Mom new what she meant when she said that. Like really new it.
We grew up working hard. No, we were not raised out on a farm with all those types of chores, but believe me, we had our own routine of chores. Chores assigned to every day of the week. We rarely had many chores assigned to Sunday's, but they still felt like work because we had to listen to long intense bible studies with Dad or those forced family times of games. It was work, in a different way. Special chores to each month, each season. If all else fails and you were "extra naughty" you got more chores. Lots more chores!!!
We did chores all the time. We rarely had play time. Play time was to be considered a commodity and a scarcity and we learned to love work. Really love work. We learned to value the good in work, the achievement that came from the results, the way to view good work and excellent work. We were taught to critique our own work, closely critique it.
I believe this plays a big role into why I love to work and work so hard.
It also plays a role in why I am having to relearn that work, too much work without enough rest, can truly hurt a body.
I know it is probably one of the contributing reasons I struggle with Adrenal Fatigue issues. I know it is one of the reasons I am so dedicated to my clients. I know it is one of the reasons I can't say no.
At 37, I still haven't really learned this, but I am trying before its too late.
Work never hurt a body!
Mom would say that to us when we would complain about the number of chores that we had to do. Or when we disliked the task. Or when we would state "We never get to play."
I believe my Mom new what she meant when she said that. Like really new it.
We grew up working hard. No, we were not raised out on a farm with all those types of chores, but believe me, we had our own routine of chores. Chores assigned to every day of the week. We rarely had many chores assigned to Sunday's, but they still felt like work because we had to listen to long intense bible studies with Dad or those forced family times of games. It was work, in a different way. Special chores to each month, each season. If all else fails and you were "extra naughty" you got more chores. Lots more chores!!!
We did chores all the time. We rarely had play time. Play time was to be considered a commodity and a scarcity and we learned to love work. Really love work. We learned to value the good in work, the achievement that came from the results, the way to view good work and excellent work. We were taught to critique our own work, closely critique it.
I believe this plays a big role into why I love to work and work so hard.
It also plays a role in why I am having to relearn that work, too much work without enough rest, can truly hurt a body.
I know it is probably one of the contributing reasons I struggle with Adrenal Fatigue issues. I know it is one of the reasons I am so dedicated to my clients. I know it is one of the reasons I can't say no.
At 37, I still haven't really learned this, but I am trying before its too late.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Day 4 Writing Goals
Day 4: Blog writing = 1052 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
why I don't feel the need for family
This post may seem strange to you. But I think if you listen me out, you might see a glimpse into why it isn't strange.
I have thought about writing on this topic before. I haven't because I didn't want to make things difficult for those who might be relatives and family that follow my blog. I haven't because I know many people may not share my viewpoint, may adamantly disagree, or possibly even vehemently detest, may feel I am cold and heartless...but I decided I can't let that stop me from sharing. I can't let your viewpoint, disagreements, or opinions about me or what I write keep me from sharing.
You know I don't write for what your viewpoint is. I write from mine. If you know me well, you know I write to encourage and share the things I face on this courageous journey. If you can appreciate it from that perspective, you will get a glimpse into my heart and mind. If you only see what you think is right, you will miss an opportunity to connect with me because I am done with "what everyone else thinks is right".
Deep breath. Gods got this.
My Dad was one of two children. My Mom was one of six children. I am the oldest of three children. From that connection alone, I have lots, and lots, and lots of family. Then you get into first cousins, second cousins, third cousins, aunts, uncles, extended aunts and uncles (the first removed and second removed aunts and uncles), and the number of people I am connected to is endless. I have gobs and gobs and gobs of relatives!!! I have never even attempted to count how many, it is enormous.
Having grown up in "the assembly" my entire life, many times people thought I had no family because I didn't live where family lived. They thought I was an "outsider" like them, coming into a group with no connections. When they learned of the extent of my family it usually made them sad because they didn't have any and were hoping to find a connection with me that way.
But I have never felt I had family. Family to me were people you knew, beyond that they were aunt or uncle so and so and where they lived. They were people you went and visited, people who you spent time with often. People who loved you. People who reached out and connected to you. People who came over for visits to your house too. People who shared their lives with you by calling and writing. People who understood that you were part of the blood line and were pretty special.
This was my mental vision and to some degree the definition I had placed on what was family. And since everything I experienced on a physical level was far from that type of family, I just don't relate to being excited about family.
Yes, some of this comes from the fact that granpa's and granma's weren't apart of my life due to "church discipline" or "walking wordly and not the way we approve". That wasn't all of it. There were other reasons we were not apart of other family, due to differences of opinions, heated arguments, lack of acceptance over my mom's health conditions, etc.
I never felt special. I never felt loved. I felt very disconnected. I felt very ostracized. I felt very much an outcast. Not just by my own immediate family, but by my relatives. No, we were not the ones marked, but we weren't on good terms with so many of the relatives that all relationships were strained. We had little to no contact with them the entire time growing up.
I hence can't relate to those who have great families. To those who want to go see their families. I still think it is really cool, part of me still questions if it is real or fake, but regardless I believe somewhere there are authentic families.
When the opportunity came for me to get reconnected in 2008 with my granpa and granma on my Mom's, I made the most of it, very nervous with apprehension and fear. After several hours of lectures from my granpa, I decided that door needed to remain closed. One visit with them was all I could emotionally do and I needed to leave things were they were. There wouldn't be more of a relationship under those kinds of terms. The relationship was damaged and beyond repair without intervention from God. When I visited cousins and tried to connect us all together, there were still inside jokes and talk about things they had in common where I wasn't apart of their lives on such a level that it made you feel like you didn't belong. Their continued interaction through social media is different and many times was hurtful in how they miss each other and comment on each others posts. I realized I wanted something I wouldn't ever be able to have with them. When extended family was very judgmental on how much I work, where I spend my time, how busy I am, what I do or don't do for my Mom, and really just can't see the truth of the situation of my home life, and freely gave opinions about what I should do to be different - even when it wasn't wanted or needed; I realized that I was forcing relationships and wanting people to see my world as God sees it.
Some people just can't.
I wanted the family I never had and realized it didn't exist.
When I accepted this, I realized that I don't need family. I haven't ever had it. I have lived alone, during my childhood without family, and away from my 'home" for over 16 years now. My life is peaceful, without drama, and full of people that love me. I have God and I have many encouraging friends. I don't need family. I have all that I need in my circle of friends and for me, it is way more than family. It is my world.
{Please note: not everyone that is family falls into this post, but the majority of them do. I am sorry to say it, but it is the truth.}
I have thought about writing on this topic before. I haven't because I didn't want to make things difficult for those who might be relatives and family that follow my blog. I haven't because I know many people may not share my viewpoint, may adamantly disagree, or possibly even vehemently detest, may feel I am cold and heartless...but I decided I can't let that stop me from sharing. I can't let your viewpoint, disagreements, or opinions about me or what I write keep me from sharing.
You know I don't write for what your viewpoint is. I write from mine. If you know me well, you know I write to encourage and share the things I face on this courageous journey. If you can appreciate it from that perspective, you will get a glimpse into my heart and mind. If you only see what you think is right, you will miss an opportunity to connect with me because I am done with "what everyone else thinks is right".
Deep breath. Gods got this.
My Dad was one of two children. My Mom was one of six children. I am the oldest of three children. From that connection alone, I have lots, and lots, and lots of family. Then you get into first cousins, second cousins, third cousins, aunts, uncles, extended aunts and uncles (the first removed and second removed aunts and uncles), and the number of people I am connected to is endless. I have gobs and gobs and gobs of relatives!!! I have never even attempted to count how many, it is enormous.
Having grown up in "the assembly" my entire life, many times people thought I had no family because I didn't live where family lived. They thought I was an "outsider" like them, coming into a group with no connections. When they learned of the extent of my family it usually made them sad because they didn't have any and were hoping to find a connection with me that way.
But I have never felt I had family. Family to me were people you knew, beyond that they were aunt or uncle so and so and where they lived. They were people you went and visited, people who you spent time with often. People who loved you. People who reached out and connected to you. People who came over for visits to your house too. People who shared their lives with you by calling and writing. People who understood that you were part of the blood line and were pretty special.
This was my mental vision and to some degree the definition I had placed on what was family. And since everything I experienced on a physical level was far from that type of family, I just don't relate to being excited about family.
Yes, some of this comes from the fact that granpa's and granma's weren't apart of my life due to "church discipline" or "walking wordly and not the way we approve". That wasn't all of it. There were other reasons we were not apart of other family, due to differences of opinions, heated arguments, lack of acceptance over my mom's health conditions, etc.
I never felt special. I never felt loved. I felt very disconnected. I felt very ostracized. I felt very much an outcast. Not just by my own immediate family, but by my relatives. No, we were not the ones marked, but we weren't on good terms with so many of the relatives that all relationships were strained. We had little to no contact with them the entire time growing up.
I hence can't relate to those who have great families. To those who want to go see their families. I still think it is really cool, part of me still questions if it is real or fake, but regardless I believe somewhere there are authentic families.
When the opportunity came for me to get reconnected in 2008 with my granpa and granma on my Mom's, I made the most of it, very nervous with apprehension and fear. After several hours of lectures from my granpa, I decided that door needed to remain closed. One visit with them was all I could emotionally do and I needed to leave things were they were. There wouldn't be more of a relationship under those kinds of terms. The relationship was damaged and beyond repair without intervention from God. When I visited cousins and tried to connect us all together, there were still inside jokes and talk about things they had in common where I wasn't apart of their lives on such a level that it made you feel like you didn't belong. Their continued interaction through social media is different and many times was hurtful in how they miss each other and comment on each others posts. I realized I wanted something I wouldn't ever be able to have with them. When extended family was very judgmental on how much I work, where I spend my time, how busy I am, what I do or don't do for my Mom, and really just can't see the truth of the situation of my home life, and freely gave opinions about what I should do to be different - even when it wasn't wanted or needed; I realized that I was forcing relationships and wanting people to see my world as God sees it.
Some people just can't.
I wanted the family I never had and realized it didn't exist.
When I accepted this, I realized that I don't need family. I haven't ever had it. I have lived alone, during my childhood without family, and away from my 'home" for over 16 years now. My life is peaceful, without drama, and full of people that love me. I have God and I have many encouraging friends. I don't need family. I have all that I need in my circle of friends and for me, it is way more than family. It is my world.
{Please note: not everyone that is family falls into this post, but the majority of them do. I am sorry to say it, but it is the truth.}
Friday, January 3, 2014
Day 3 Writing Goals
Day 3: Blog writing = 172 words. Book writing = 0 words.
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
#my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
uniqueness of weddings & people
Today, I have been involved in wedding preparations for a girlfriend. Creating the atmosphere into a romantic elegant display of pretty things. Mirrors, white, satin ribbon, flowers, wreaths, bows, lights.
It made me think of how each of things on their own are pretty but do not create the same sense of pretty when they are combined. It is amazing how all these things when combined together, how much of an elegant and beautiful display it creates, how it evokes the ambiance of a wedding. All these things listed aren't necessary required to have a pretty wedding, but each of them bring prettiness.
It made me think about how each of us our unique, one of us might have pretty eyes or pretty hair, but when it is put together with our skin, our mouth, our arms, our legs, we are pretty. Really very pretty. The combination creates a uniqueness that cannot be changed or made to look like another.
Just as each wedding is unique...each of us is unique.
Cool, huh?
It made me think of how each of things on their own are pretty but do not create the same sense of pretty when they are combined. It is amazing how all these things when combined together, how much of an elegant and beautiful display it creates, how it evokes the ambiance of a wedding. All these things listed aren't necessary required to have a pretty wedding, but each of them bring prettiness.
It made me think about how each of us our unique, one of us might have pretty eyes or pretty hair, but when it is put together with our skin, our mouth, our arms, our legs, we are pretty. Really very pretty. The combination creates a uniqueness that cannot be changed or made to look like another.
Just as each wedding is unique...each of us is unique.
Cool, huh?
You can't take it with you...
This picture conveys a lot.
You can't take it with you. None of it. None of that stuff will go in your grave. It doesn't go with you to heaven either. It is pointless to accumulate things. You obviously need some to operate a life, but for the purpose of stuff, it is pointless.
I pray that as I work through 2014, that I continue my focus on what matters and get rid of what doesn't. Not just the continual evaluate of my belongings, but also friendships that are draining and not uplifting, emails that I subscribe to that I really don't need or provide value, Twitter noise, Facebook followers that don't engage in my life, events that consume precious time that do not feed a healthy me.
I want to have a simply life that is rewarding and encouraging.
May God help me in this quest to continue to remold me.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Day 2 Writing Goals
Day2: Blog writing = 547 words. Book writing = 0 words.
- #my500words challenge with @JeffGoins #2014Goals
should you have goals or resolutions?
Every approach of a New Year brings conversation about making goals or resolutions for the New Year.
There are statistics that show making goals and setting them help if they are S.M.A.R.T. And of course the definition of S.M.A.R.T. has various takes on it (specific, measurable or meaningful, action oriented or attainable or accountable, reasonable or realistic, touchable or timed sensible or timely). They say if they are not S.M.A.R.T. then they are not going to work.
Then you see articles, blog posts, video's created that tell you why resolutions fail and they should be called goals. Then you see articles, blog posts, and video's why you should call them goals and not resolutions. And then you see articles, blog posts, video's about why you shouldn't have goals you should have a theme, a word for your year.
Everybody has an opinion about everything. Sometimes I absolutely get tired of everyone's opinion when what I want to know is what works, what is tried and true, what will give me the results I want. But then I have my own opinion, so I should not be tired of yours I guess, right?
My friends sometimes make fun of me for my goals and give me a hard time. I think sometimes my goals scare them. I think sometimes they since they can't or don't make goals so they can't relate to me making goals. I think sometimes they make them feel bad. I think sometimes they feel all my life is is full of goals. I think sometimes they are just living and not being intentional with their life so goals are not apart of their day and focus. I think that some people are scared of making goals because then they feel like a failure if they don't make them. I think some people find making or having goals as someone who is a big talker. I think there are probably lots more reasons why that I might not even have considered.
I have always been goal oriented. Is this just part of my personality? Or did it truly only stem from my training? I am not sure, but I know I thrive on having goals. I want to do better at my goals. I want to learn more about having goals and how to be effective at them. So I am doing Michael Hyatt's program this year called BestYearEver where he has a 5 day program on goal structure. I also did a conference call on New Years Day regarding how to have more clarity and focus this year with Gerald Rogers.
But in the midst of this, I have had the question: My focus the last year has been to move away from having to have a list of boxes to check off and tasks to complete and live in the moment. Realize I am enough. In my quest to simplify my life, is making goals more or less complicated? Does making goals make me have more things I have to do? Does it make me feel like I am enough or does it squelch that?
This I don't know. But I promise, I will be considering it as I get coaching on creating and learning about goal structure that creates clarity and focus.
There are statistics that show making goals and setting them help if they are S.M.A.R.T. And of course the definition of S.M.A.R.T. has various takes on it (specific, measurable or meaningful, action oriented or attainable or accountable, reasonable or realistic, touchable or timed sensible or timely). They say if they are not S.M.A.R.T. then they are not going to work.
Then you see articles, blog posts, video's created that tell you why resolutions fail and they should be called goals. Then you see articles, blog posts, and video's why you should call them goals and not resolutions. And then you see articles, blog posts, video's about why you shouldn't have goals you should have a theme, a word for your year.
Everybody has an opinion about everything. Sometimes I absolutely get tired of everyone's opinion when what I want to know is what works, what is tried and true, what will give me the results I want. But then I have my own opinion, so I should not be tired of yours I guess, right?
My friends sometimes make fun of me for my goals and give me a hard time. I think sometimes my goals scare them. I think sometimes they since they can't or don't make goals so they can't relate to me making goals. I think sometimes they make them feel bad. I think sometimes they feel all my life is is full of goals. I think sometimes they are just living and not being intentional with their life so goals are not apart of their day and focus. I think that some people are scared of making goals because then they feel like a failure if they don't make them. I think some people find making or having goals as someone who is a big talker. I think there are probably lots more reasons why that I might not even have considered.
I have always been goal oriented. Is this just part of my personality? Or did it truly only stem from my training? I am not sure, but I know I thrive on having goals. I want to do better at my goals. I want to learn more about having goals and how to be effective at them. So I am doing Michael Hyatt's program this year called BestYearEver where he has a 5 day program on goal structure. I also did a conference call on New Years Day regarding how to have more clarity and focus this year with Gerald Rogers.
But in the midst of this, I have had the question: My focus the last year has been to move away from having to have a list of boxes to check off and tasks to complete and live in the moment. Realize I am enough. In my quest to simplify my life, is making goals more or less complicated? Does making goals make me have more things I have to do? Does it make me feel like I am enough or does it squelch that?
This I don't know. But I promise, I will be considering it as I get coaching on creating and learning about goal structure that creates clarity and focus.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
baby blanket {finished}
Baby Blanket for Ryan & Alisha Machalica
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| knitted squares baby blanket with ruffle edge {1st time to ever do this} |
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| additional view of knitted squares baby blanket with ruffle edge |
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| additional view of knitted squares baby blanket with ruffle edge |
2014 Goals & Resolutions
Each Year, I create my list of Goals & Resolutions for both personal and business goals, but the last 5 years I started publishing them on my blog also. If you wish to review the previous years, you can do so by clicking on these links: 2009 Goals & Resolutions, 2010 Goals & Resolutions, 2011 Goals & Resolutions, 2012 Goals & Resolutions and 2013 Goals & Resolutions. Some years I have up to 10 goals and multiple categories. I find more strength and focus when I limit it to just a few. Last year, I condensed both my personal goals and business goals to 4, this year at the recommendation of Michael Hyatt and taking part in his course Best Year Ever, I am going to not have any categories and limit it to a total of 7 goals. Additionally, I am going to skip creating a theme for the year and do it at the end as a reflection of the results of my year!
2014 goals
#1 take care of me FIRST before anyone or anything else {I am very good about taking care of everyone else and everything else, leaving me to not be tended to, squeezed in the middle of all the other demands, and no time for me...this habit needs to change so that I have more of me to be able to give more and be more to those I give to}, this means I will need to say NO to more things and YES to the things that really matter
#2 be even more intentional who I spend time with and my time with friends: weekly make a girls date, host & entertain company one weekend a month {by fixing a meal and spending time with my friends in my own casa, because I love to do this and have missed it}
#3 increase my intentional efforts daily of reaching out to encourage people by emails, letters, prayer sessions, phone calls, lunch dates, etc to one person every day and scheduling time with my people in person who need it {this includes old friends, new friends, Facebook friends, bible study crew, clients, and strategic business partners}
#4 finish writing my first book, about my life, to be ready to publish by January 2015; I will partipate in Jeff Goins My 500 Words Challenge; I will get headshots done for Author Website by June 2014; I will have www.mistygilbert.com live by June 2014
#3 increase my intentional efforts daily of reaching out to encourage people by emails, letters, prayer sessions, phone calls, lunch dates, etc to one person every day and scheduling time with my people in person who need it {this includes old friends, new friends, Facebook friends, bible study crew, clients, and strategic business partners}
#4 finish writing my first book, about my life, to be ready to publish by January 2015; I will partipate in Jeff Goins My 500 Words Challenge; I will get headshots done for Author Website by June 2014; I will have www.mistygilbert.com live by June 2014
#5 increase the monthly payment amount on my house to meet my goal of having it paid for by February 2017! {10 years from date of purchase}
#6 resolve to find a way to manage my adrenal fatigue more efficiently and effectively, by digging into more research material to figure out what is not working, why, and how to change it; read one health book a month
#7 create set work hours instead of a begin time only and no end time {gonna try something new to create new work habits}; read one book every other month relating to achieving a work life balance
#6 resolve to find a way to manage my adrenal fatigue more efficiently and effectively, by digging into more research material to figure out what is not working, why, and how to change it; read one health book a month
#7 create set work hours instead of a begin time only and no end time {gonna try something new to create new work habits}; read one book every other month relating to achieving a work life balance
YearInReview for 2013
I did this before and loved it! Life gets busy sometimes we forget to do the things we love.
As I reflect on 2013, it was a challenging year on many levels, but at the same time, I am grateful for the growth it produced in me. Not all of the effort was easy, and in many things, it was harder than I ever dreamed it could have been. Wow. Impressive to think and reflect on. So here my friend, is a list of 2013 highlights:
As I reflect on 2013, it was a challenging year on many levels, but at the same time, I am grateful for the growth it produced in me. Not all of the effort was easy, and in many things, it was harder than I ever dreamed it could have been. Wow. Impressive to think and reflect on. So here my friend, is a list of 2013 highlights:
- My Dad passed away February 2013
- I got to see my sister at the Memorial for Dad after 8 years of not having seen her, I am thankful for the fact that she asked to have time together and that all 3 of us siblings were able to have breakfast together.
- I rear ended someone on my way back from a client and wrecked 2011 Honda Civic one year to the day it was paid off. The moment was a God Moment when she said to me "you were forgiven before it happened". Traded it in when they could not resolve all the issues and I was tired of fighting and purchased a 2013 Honda Civic. Paid off the balance on the car this month.
- I experienced a client hitting me in the head, which launched me into getting professional counseling, something I had never considered doing and that benefited me tremendously, though it was very painful.
- This year was part of learning to tell my story.
- I achieved my goal of booking and taking more vacations than I did in 2012. I took 4 vacations {some of them only 3 days long}: one to spend time with relatives and friends at Dumont Dunes in Baker, California, one with a girlfriend to Utopia, Texas, one road trip over Memorial Day Weekend with friends to Missouri, and one by myself to Franklin, Tennessee...{this is a huge accomplishment for me!!! and doesn't count going out to California for my Dad's Memorial or to Colorado for a girlfriends wedding}.
- I got to test drive a Corvette! and get it up to 115mph on the freeway!!!
- I went to my first Woman of Faith Conference with a girlfriend.
- I did two days of coaching with Chris LoCurto.
- I won the 2013 Savvy Chicks Rule award for Medical Account Solutions.
- I fired my 3rd client since being in business in March 2013.
- I begin writing my book about my life that I plan to publish.
- I took an Advanced Accounting Course and passed!
- My prayer life has increased tremendously.
- This year I achieved my goal of writing more blog posts than any other year and topping out my previous best year in 2010.
- I got a new fence installed at the casa after 6 years of living here.
- I got my ears pierced February 2013 and love wearing my pearl earrings the most!
- I bought my first pair of pants March 2013...never had owned a pair or wore a pair before this.
- I wore makeup for the first time when I was working on a video shoot for my business website {this was a requirement for the video and I had never seen myself with makeup}.
- I got rid of a lot of belongings this year and made over $1K in this mission to condense the extra things that I didn't need or had an excess of.
- My business made the same amount of money as I did in 2012, even after letting some clients go, on top of giving away over $10K in free services as charity.
- God's message for me this year to learn was: I Am Enough. He was purposeful in how he planted that memo, how he created and used things to help me see my fault in this area, and provided a message from Beth Moore with a whole Bible Study on it.
a concerned neighbor
I have been sick for the last 13 days with a sinus infection. I have had a hard time getting better. Is it because December seems to be one of the busiest months with work? Last minute Tax Planning with clients. Last minute Accounts Receivable work. Last minute Year End Deadlines and Projects. Or is it because my immune system always seems to be down in the winter? Or is it just because people get sick and spread germs? I don't know, but I wasn't sure that I was going to have any fun New Years Eve Party, but as the day wore on, I felt like I had the stamina to do it and made plans to hang with some friends. A quiet evening in their home by the fire, laughing, visiting and sharing in each others lives...oh and of course eating! I needed this. My emotional spirits were down. I needed my friends. I actually stayed up to ring in the New Year...of course, I slept in today to make up for the late night hour!!!
After getting up today, I made a fire, sat in my club chair turned towards the fire, knitting some baby booties for a little girl born two months ago, an hour into listening to a Coaching Call when the doorbell rang. My hair was not presentable. I was still in my pj's. And most importantly, I wasn't expecting anybody.
It was my neighbor behind me. Jack. He said they were concerned when they saw smoke coming from the house because they thought it was vacant and it was a really nice warm day to be having a fire. I laughed and said, I have lived here for 7 years and though I travel each week some on business, I do live here and the house is not vacant. I think he then realized that he knew me and that we had talked before, though only two other times and both times about fence repairs he did. I think he flat out didn't recognize me initially. I told him that I appreciated his concern and checking in on me.
I then let him know that I had gone over to talk to them two other times to see if they wanted to split the cost of the back fence that I replaced this year but had never caught them at home. I told him that I didn't want him to feel obligated, but that if he wanted to contribute I would get him a copy of the invoice. Little did I know I was opening the door for him to let me know how irritated he was at me for putting in a new fence and taking his down. He was nice about it, but I could tell the irritation ran deep. I was shocked. This was my fence, what was he saying? I kept my mouth shut and let him talk. I just listened. As he talked, regret gripped me in the fact that I wished I had been able to connect with him prior to the install of the fence, but I couldn't undo that. I had tried and we had not connected. I could have left a note, I didn't. I wanted to mend things even though until now I never knew there was a problem, I didn't want an upset neighbor. They were obviously kind people to come over and check on my place thinking it was empty.
I said Jack, I am sorry. I thought the fence was mine, even though it was turned backwards with the nice side out, it went around my complete property line. Though I have reversed that now so the inside faces me, I still never thought of it as your fence. I am sorry. What can I do to make things right? He stated not to worry about it. I tried again. He stated not to worry about it. He then went on to let me know that when the fence was put in, they were out of town and had someone house sitting. The people let them know that they were surprised they had a pool and no fence. He asked them if they were sure they were at the right house. I am sure the whole deal got blown way out of proportion because of all this taking place when they were out of town and then to top it off, he thought it was "his" fence. We chatted about 25-30 minutes and shared stories about the issues we are facing with our houses, what improvements we have done, what he does for work, what his wife does for work (I learned she owns a local flower shop not even a mile from my house), and where they go to church.
I am amazed at how little I know my neighbors and how kind some of them truly are. I plan to make an effort to get to know some of them better. I also plan to send them a note in writing to say I am sorry for the fence issue and thanks for looking out on my place.
After getting up today, I made a fire, sat in my club chair turned towards the fire, knitting some baby booties for a little girl born two months ago, an hour into listening to a Coaching Call when the doorbell rang. My hair was not presentable. I was still in my pj's. And most importantly, I wasn't expecting anybody.
It was my neighbor behind me. Jack. He said they were concerned when they saw smoke coming from the house because they thought it was vacant and it was a really nice warm day to be having a fire. I laughed and said, I have lived here for 7 years and though I travel each week some on business, I do live here and the house is not vacant. I think he then realized that he knew me and that we had talked before, though only two other times and both times about fence repairs he did. I think he flat out didn't recognize me initially. I told him that I appreciated his concern and checking in on me.
I then let him know that I had gone over to talk to them two other times to see if they wanted to split the cost of the back fence that I replaced this year but had never caught them at home. I told him that I didn't want him to feel obligated, but that if he wanted to contribute I would get him a copy of the invoice. Little did I know I was opening the door for him to let me know how irritated he was at me for putting in a new fence and taking his down. He was nice about it, but I could tell the irritation ran deep. I was shocked. This was my fence, what was he saying? I kept my mouth shut and let him talk. I just listened. As he talked, regret gripped me in the fact that I wished I had been able to connect with him prior to the install of the fence, but I couldn't undo that. I had tried and we had not connected. I could have left a note, I didn't. I wanted to mend things even though until now I never knew there was a problem, I didn't want an upset neighbor. They were obviously kind people to come over and check on my place thinking it was empty.
I said Jack, I am sorry. I thought the fence was mine, even though it was turned backwards with the nice side out, it went around my complete property line. Though I have reversed that now so the inside faces me, I still never thought of it as your fence. I am sorry. What can I do to make things right? He stated not to worry about it. I tried again. He stated not to worry about it. He then went on to let me know that when the fence was put in, they were out of town and had someone house sitting. The people let them know that they were surprised they had a pool and no fence. He asked them if they were sure they were at the right house. I am sure the whole deal got blown way out of proportion because of all this taking place when they were out of town and then to top it off, he thought it was "his" fence. We chatted about 25-30 minutes and shared stories about the issues we are facing with our houses, what improvements we have done, what he does for work, what his wife does for work (I learned she owns a local flower shop not even a mile from my house), and where they go to church.
I am amazed at how little I know my neighbors and how kind some of them truly are. I plan to make an effort to get to know some of them better. I also plan to send them a note in writing to say I am sorry for the fence issue and thanks for looking out on my place.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Quotes
If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough.
- Oprah Winfrey
- Oprah Winfrey
brunch w/friends
I got a brief time with Stuart & Crystal and the kids...we met for Brunch.
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| Emme, me & Gray |
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| I didn't get the memo that it was funny face time! my sweet peeps...LOVE being Aunt Misty Gilbert! |
{Will add a picture of Crystal & I later when she sends it to me}
Monday, December 30, 2013
Quotes
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
— Dr. Stephen Covey
— Dr. Stephen Covey
Friday, December 27, 2013
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
thoughts on Christmas
As I continue to reflect on the truth of God's Word and the truth I have been told and learned over my life, I have some thoughts to share with you regards to Christmas.
I am 37 years old and have never celebrated Christmas. Yes, as one of friends son from my Bible Study Group said to me, "Never celebrated Christmas? Like even when you were a kid?" I responded, "Yup. Even when I was a kid." He stood there looking at me in utter shock for quite some time trying to absorb this concept that seemed utterly unattainable to comprehend.
Growing up, I was told multiple reasons from my parents as to why we didn't, shouldn't or wouldn't. I don't know that I have never really stopped and questioned the reasons I was given and as I have been considering those "reasons", I wish to share my thoughts with you on some of them. If I did an exhaustive list as to all the reasons why we didn't celebrate Christmas, this would be a horribly long post and none of us have time for that. Nor do I want this to turn into a rant, I simply want to share some of my reflecting and encourage you to stop and ask questions and search for the truth.
I am 37 years old and have never celebrated Christmas. Yes, as one of friends son from my Bible Study Group said to me, "Never celebrated Christmas? Like even when you were a kid?" I responded, "Yup. Even when I was a kid." He stood there looking at me in utter shock for quite some time trying to absorb this concept that seemed utterly unattainable to comprehend.
Growing up, I was told multiple reasons from my parents as to why we didn't, shouldn't or wouldn't. I don't know that I have never really stopped and questioned the reasons I was given and as I have been considering those "reasons", I wish to share my thoughts with you on some of them. If I did an exhaustive list as to all the reasons why we didn't celebrate Christmas, this would be a horribly long post and none of us have time for that. Nor do I want this to turn into a rant, I simply want to share some of my reflecting and encourage you to stop and ask questions and search for the truth.
- REASON I WAS TOLD: We don't know what day Jesus was born. God didn't tell us. Anything he wanted us to know or do in the bible he gave instruction for how we were to live. Since we don't know when he was born and he didn't tell us, he doesn't want us to celebrate his birth.
- REASON I WAS TOLD: We should celebrate Jesus every day of the year, not just his birth (or his death). Therefore we will not just celebrate Him on this day.
- REASON I WAS TOLD: Christmas is commercialized. It is not about God. It is about selfishness with a MeMe attitude about what you get, Santa, Snowman, Elf's, Gingerbread Houses, etc. If it was about God, why don't people do things for God instead of themselves? We will not support a commercialized day.
- REASON I WAS TOLD: Christmas is a pagan Holiday. Since we do not support any pagan activities, we will not partake of this day either.
- REASON I WAS TOLD: Christmas means Christ kill. "Mas" means to kill. Why would you celebrate a birth with this term? We don't.
- REASON I WAS TOLD: People tell their kids they are going to get presents from Santa if they are good, if they are naughty they won't, yet all kids get presents anyways. What does this teach your children? Santa is a lie and we won't lie to you.
- REASON I WAS TOLD: People say Christmas is about giving. We should not be giving just one day a year, so we are not going to do good things just on Christmas so in order to avoid being matched with those kinds of people we are not going to do any giving on Christmas.
This is not an exhaustive list, it is a few reasons I was given. So here are my thoughts on those 7 reasons.
- REFLECTION on REASON #1: Yes, we don't know what day Jesus was born. We don't know the exact day anyone in the Bible was born as we do Birthday's in society today. Mom told me that Dad really didn't want us to celebrate birthday's because every account of them in the Bible was bad. After much discussion, he gave in on this. I don't know whether this is true or not as I have not gone to the Bible to prove it. However, have you thought about the fact that God didn't tell you to celebrate YOUR birthday either? So, since he didn't tell you to, does that mean he doesn't want you to and you shouldn't? Do you think in reality that this actually has more to do with what he wants you to do in celebration of your birthday then if you do or don't actually celebrate it? Did God tell us everything he wanted us to do in life? No, the Bible doesn't contain an exhaustive list. God wants to have a relationship with you to help you know what he wants you to be about in your life and journey here. The things that were told to us, if you want to call them hard and fast rules, he has given those things to us to believe and follow.
- REFLECTION on REASON #2: Do you want to be celebrated every day of the year as a special person, loved and treasured by God, or just on your birthday? When I celebrate with you on your birthday, does that mean I only celebrate you on your day of birth? I am not married, but an you imagine if I was and my husband coming and saying, Misty, I love you dearly but I don't want to celebrate our anniversary for fear you will make an idol out of this day and I really do love you each and every day of the year so we won't celebrate this day as being any more special. I mean, you would look at my husband and think he had lost his ability to be logical, wouldn't you? Who wouldn't celebrate their anniversary with the love of their life??? Of course we should celebrate God every day of the year!!! If you are only celebrating him on one day you are missing out on a joyous relationship!!! He is more than LIFE. Would it be wrong to take one day and worship him to an even greater level? Any more than it is that we celebrate you one special day a year? He is worthy of our love. Worthy of our praise. Worthy of our admiration. He is God!
- REFLECTION on REASON #3: Anything can become commercialized. Marketing will turn it into that. People will turn it into that. Anything can and will become not all about God if you don't make God your focus. I personally don't care for all the commercialism that exists in life, whether related to Christmas or not. You can embrace the commercialism or keep it out of your life. But just because someone else has commercialized something doesn't mean its wrong, it just means they have made a way to make it big and make money on it. I beg you to find one thing you use in life that has not become commercialized.
- REFLECTION on REASON #4: Are there any Holiday's that are not pagan? If so, does that make them better? If they were "religious" would that make it approved in your book? Is Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday pagan or religious, or a day God gave us to serve Him? We have made Sunday the day of Sabbath, but do we truly know if that is the day the Lord wants us to rest or does he want us to take one of the 7 days we are given each week and rest?
- REFLECTION on REASON #5: I do not find any resource online to substantiate the definition of Christmas that was given to me by my Dad. I regret I used this term as a reason I didn't celebrate it with kids I went to school with, teachers, coworkers, bosses, strangers I met that checked me out at a store, the bank teller, etc. In fact I find that "Mas" means mission {read wikipedia here for their account of the definition of mass and here for the definition of Christmas}. A day dedication to Christ's Mission I think is a lovely reflection on what he was for us.
- REFLECTION on REASON #6: Is giving and loving people supposed to be based on if they are good vs if they are bad? No. Are reward programs and things of that nature based on conduct and criteria? Yes. Is your birthday supposed to be based off of this? No. Was it during my childhood growing up? Yes. So was it easy for me to believe this? Yes, it was. Do I support lying? No. Do I support believing in something that is fake? No. Do you have to believe in Santa to support or even celebrate Christmas? No, I don't think so and I don't plan to, if I ever "celebrate" Christmas.
- REFLECTION on REASON #7: Should the only day you be loving and giving be on Christmas? No. Does it have to be the only day you are loving and giving? No. Does it mean because people have made that a day of loving and giving that it is wrong? No.
What thoughts do you have on Christmas? I would love to hear from you as to the arguments you have considered against the truth. I don't promise I have the answers, I only am sharing my thoughts. I believe in reflecting on Christ and who he was and who he is we can celebrate him on a level like nobody else!
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