Monday, May 3, 2010

Quotes

A journey of a thousand miles begins within a single step.
~ Chinese Proverb

some sad news on Terry

It is late, almost midnight to be exact, but I can't sleep...therefore I decided to update my blog...an update on my brother...be prepared, this is sad news.

Terry has been living here in Texas 5 months, nearly to the day.  He was found laying on his side on the floor in his bedroom overdosed tonight about 7.30-8pm. He probably had been there all day, we are not for sure. He was unresponsive, no medication bottles around, dressed in his clothes, with notes left to Jeff and Mom & Dad & Sisters. It was an obvious attempt at suicide, we just don't know with what. His PCP was called and so was 911. The paramedics started pumping his stomach immediately and he was taken to a local hospital. I did not go up there as it was not recommended I do because of his state. There is nothing I can do until he wakes up...if he does. They are unsure if he has brain damage, either from falling, or lack of oxygen. This will be told after more tests and time. It could take a couple days to know more.

I am fine. I have not cried, yet. I am sure I will...but right now, I am holding up pretty well, just trying to put everything in perspective...what could I have done differently?  what could I have said? what could I have done? what is it going to take for him to realize that he is loved and has such great potential?  He has been having a few tough weeks, so in many ways this is not a surprise. My heart achs for him to live differently, but according to his doctor, he may never be able to after having messed with some of the drugs he has messed with that really mess up your mind. Doctor says he probably has not been taking his medicine like he should have been and this might be one of the reasons that he has been acting the way he has. Its hard to know. You don't want to give him an excuse, neither do you want him to have an "out" for being angry, but if he needs the medicine you want him to take it. Its hard place to be in. If he doesn't make it, it might be the best thing for him...he will be HOME with our Heavenly Father!

I will update my blog as I have time....in the meantime, please pray for him...and me that I will have the wisdom to know how to help him if he survives.  Thank you my friends!