Monday, February 29, 2016

choose to connect with your friends

If you knew today was the last day you could write and tell me something, what would you say?

We never know how long someone will be a part of our life. We never know when our last opportunity to connect with them will be. When they come to mind, why do we not act on it? What would happen if we did that every time they came to mind, to stop what we were doing and send a text, an email, a Facebook message, make a phone call, send a snail mail note, or schedule a coffee date or time for a meal.

Yet we let life happen and we don't do it. Why?

Sometimes we are too busy. Sometimes we think the person won't receive what we have to say. Sometimes we get so caught up in unimportant things that we don't make it a priority. Sometimes we make excuses. Sometimes we forget that these little things matter.

On Valentines Day, I texted and Facebook messaged as many people as I could in 2 hours a simple message: 
heart emoticon happy Valentine's Day [name of friend] heart emoticon YOU are loved and very special! 

heart emoticon

I loved doing this...because I love my friends! And I wanted them to know it.

I love the peeps who invest in my life. Who pray for me. Who encourage me to be a better person. Who love me for who I am. Who believe in me.

This was the first Valentine's Day I have ever done something like this, but it isn't the only time I make it a priority. I try to text a random person every day a message that says I am thinking about you and I hope you are doing well...or I am sending lots of love and eHugs to you...or I love you.

Even if you don't respond. Even if you ignore my heart. Because it doesn't change my heart, I LOVE YOU! I will always love you.
‪#‎CircleOfFriends‬ ‪#‎ChooseToBeDifferent‬ ‪#‎LiveIntentionally‬ ‪#‎LoveOnPurpose

Reflections on the Oscars 2016

Reflections on the ‪#‎Oscars‬:
I haven't seen very many of The Oscar's, but I couldn't help analyze the event last night and come away with some things that have impacted my life.
If you were to win an Oscar, what would you say in your 1 minute acceptance speech?
Each person who plays in or contributes to the creation of a movie knows they have an important role. When they attend an event like this, though they don't know if they will win, they do know there is a chance. What preparation are you making for this chance?
Those that know the vision they have for their life, have a purpose for why they do what they do, know what they wanted to get from the creation of the film to where they are, and they have a message. Those that don't have a message, or become so self conscious or emotionally caught up in the moment that they can't think through what they want to say, or won't take the opportunity when the floor is given to them, don't. How about you? What is your message? Will you cease the moment or let it slip away?
Credits are given at the end of a movie as to who contributed to making it happen. Is an acceptance speech simply all about thanking those who helped you win this trophy? We all know it is team work that makes something like this happen. What if it was more about acknowledging the dream you had, your purpose for making a difference, the people who came along side you to assist you in making this vision come to life, and the impact of these people in your life that helped you create it? What if it was to encourage someone else in their dream?
Who would you give thanks to for their impact in your life? Would you wait until you had a 1 minute acceptance speech to tell them so? Have you focused on the core circle of influence around you who are inspiring you to be more, share more and live fully? If not, what holds you back from creating a circle of friends around you like this? Honestly, unlike most of the people who thanked their parents for being a part of their life and their support, my parents wouldn't be one of the people I would list. Yet they have impacted my journey significantly. But so have many others. I want to focus more on the people who have created a positive impact in my life.
Just because someone wins an Oscar, doesn't mean that they were absolutely the best. It means they got voted to be the best but a group of people who have their own criteria for ratings. Yet in reality, to make it to one of the top 5 people selected is in itself a true honor. It means they were considered to have made a significant impact. An impact that touched lives and changed the world through cinema. Are you living for an Oscar or to make an impact?

Sunday, February 28, 2016

psalm 63:8

I got a text message from a friend this morning asking: "How's ur soul?"...after knowing I needed and requested prayers.
Psalm 63:8 My soul sings to you O God, your right hand upholds me.....
Here was my response:
My soul believes in God.
My soul knows God's got this.
My soul believes God is doing a work in me but doesn't know or understand what it is right now.
My soul has hope that this is a phase.
My soul is rejoicing that I get another day to serve Him.
My soul is encouraged by friends who love and support and pray for me.
My soul is in some intense healing.
My soul will stay with its purpose: a courageous, generous and loving spirit.
My soul will still seek God in everything.
My soul will not run from the pain or the memories that come when things like this happen.
My soul will become more confident and not shrink back.
My soul will trust that God is working out all things for my good.
My soul will become the Woman of God that I am called to be.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

The Art of Letting Go

My Friday Reflections: The art of Letting Go doesn't look the same for everyone.
How can we assume it does? Why do we think that what worked for us will work for someone else? Why do we feel that the other person needs to implement our results? What are we trying to accomplish when we tell someone, "just let go" or "move on"? How could we be more effective at supporting someone in their emotional journey of a letting go process?
The reality is your journey has had different moments make up the outline to your canvas. These moments include all your senses. Your personality reacts to life's circumstances in a way that isn't the same as mine. Your experiences with this person or situation have affected your life in a way that no matter how much I try, I will never be able to fully relate to or understand.
Yes, I may have empathy or even sometimes sympathy, but to expect someone else to do it just like me is creating judgement and not giving them the power of choice, to allow them listen to their heart, to allow their body to feel their own emotions without criticism, shame or guilt, and consequently to heal at their own pace.
Sure there are laws of physics; basic principals that create a cause and effect; studies that show patterns; similarities that make us alike yet very different; ways to spur growth in the letting go and healing process; the impact of positive thinking, touch and kindness; the power of prayer; and yet YOU are unique.
I might see the forrest for the trees, you might see the trees for the forrest. Truthfully both are required to complete the picture.
I might be able to describe what I see so vividly that you can see it too, but then I also might inflict more emotional pain in the process by trying to help you see the vision I can so clearly see thorough my eyes as I take in the picture. At the same time, I might create more emotional healing and a clearer perspective by sharing with you the vision I see and help you to see with new eyes, a renewed focus on the big picture, another perspective to reality.
I might have more experience and situations that make me see it differently then you do, but your own beliefs from your experiences have created your perception to reality. The truth is, you have to want to see it from my perspective so that you can change your own. Trying to force you to embrace my version is only going to frustrate you, build a wall between us, make you feel guilt, shame and criticized and ultimately not understood or loved. In the end, I will be shutting you down. I won't be validating what you are facing. If I let you feel your own emotions and let you be you, know you will ask for insight when you want it, believe that you will seek a method that restores your emotional soul, believe you want to be an overcomer and not a victim, then I will create a connection and be showing you love that will fully allow healing.
Just as the body heals at different rates and ways from a wound, so will each of us heal differently from an emotional experience. Some wounds bleed a bunch. Some wounds get infected. Some wounds seem to scab over again and again and again. Some wounds respond to the medication, ointment, and solutions well. Some wounds are so painful that any activity at all creates even more pain. Some get irritated and an allergic reaction happens to the very things that were designed to help increase healing. Some wounds get re-injured by forcing them to an environment sooner then they are ready for. Some wounds are very, very ugly with so much damage done, along with the impact of the injury and the depth of pain, the only way to create an environment for healing and restoration is to do surgery, which sometimes is complete reconstruction of what was the original. Sometimes the wound is so inflamed that you just have to allow time and do nothing to let things simmer down before you can do anything to start the healing process. Sometimes it is a life and death matter and time is of the essence and if something isn't done quickly, nothing will survive. Sometimes healing comes quickly and the body is back to normal sooner than expected.
Your chapter might be longer or shorter then mine. Yet, telling someone to rip this chapter out, glue the pages together, or mark out paragraphs with a black marker might not be what benefits them the most. You might think skipping this chapter or blocking this chapter from their memory is the best thing, but maybe that will make it worse and prevent healing. They might need to shed tears over this chapter to the point where the words become blurred and you no longer can see the message. They might need to close that chapter and never read it again. They might need to keep the chapter in pristine shape for evidence before legal council. You may have only read the highlights of the chapter and not all the footnotes and details that provide the backup details to what was written.
No matter what your view is of the chapter, every chapter in our lives was written for a reason. Some chapters have a greater impact. Some chapters repeat themselves with only a few changes to the storyline. Some chapters will always create the same emotions no matter when we read them.
The art of Letting Go is a process.
The art of Letting Go works best through love.
The art of Letting Go takes vulnerability.
The art of Letting Go means I am willing to face my pain.
The art of Letting Go means I have hope for today.
The art of Letting Go says my feelings matter and I will embrace them to go to the next level.
The art of Letting Go says I accept what has transpired and will have no regrets.
The art of Letting Go is a lifelong journey that we will face in numerous ways and various circumstances.
The art of Letting Go won't work for us the same way each and every time and this means we need to have patience with ourselves.
The art of Letting Go means I get to replace it with something else.
The art of Letting Go is a choice.
‪#‎LettingGo‬ ‪#‎CreateTheLifeYouWant‬ ‪#‎EmbraceYourJourney‬‪#‎ListenToYourHeart‬ ‪#‎BelieveInYourself‬ ‪#‎Reflections‬

Thursday, February 25, 2016

the cost of vulernability

Being vulnerable comes at a cost.
It is a cost of removing that mask that you think you like on yourself. The one that you have to change depending on who is standing in front of your face. For the one who couldn't bear seeing the raw beauty of your face.
It is a cost of showing people who you really are, not who you think people want you to be or are expected to be or dreamed you wanted to be or thought you were.
It is a cost of baring your soul, all of your soul.
It is a cost of facing rejection.
It is a cost of not being understood, believed, or accepted.
It is the cost of being condemned for your truth.
It is the cost of losing people you thought were on your team, by your side, one of those go to peeps.
It is the cost of leaving behind everything you have ever known.
It is the cost of knowing that the truth is more important than the lies that surround being fake.
It is the cost of believing there is more in store for you by never going back to those masks.
It is the cost that you pay for being an original.
Will you join me in being vulnerable? Will you remove your mask so I can see your soul? Will you realize that those that reject you do not love you? Will you embrace freedom?
‪#‎VulnerabilityIsFreedom‬ ‪#‎RemoveTheMask‬ ‪#‎Authenticity‬ ‪#‎BeYOU‬‪#‎BeAnOriginal‬

laying down the performance-mentality...

Laying down the performance-mentality feels so vulnerable because you’ve learned to use performance as a safety net in life. It’s something you can fall back on to feel good in the moment.
But to develop a real connection to yourself, the people you love and the work you do means laying the actor aside and allowing the real you to be fully seen! - Brandon Hawk
‪#‎BeYOU‬ ‪#‎Authenticity‬ ‪#‎RemoveTheMask‬ ‪#‎BeConnected‬‪#‎VulnerabilityIsFreedom‬ ‪#‎YOUcommunity‬

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Gratitude 02212016

Laying in bed in San Diego. Reflecting on my life this last month. It has been one month since the loss of a great person in my life. So freaking amazed at all the ways God has brought healing into my soul through the intense pain. The people he had positioned at various points along the journey to give hugs, love, words of encouragement, support, prayers, and the blessings all of this has been to me. I have a heart full of gratitude! Immense gratitude.
Life truly is beautiful! Embrace it. Live it fully. Intentionally. Passionately. Purposefully. Today.

Friday, February 19, 2016

how do you view blocked comments?

The moment you see a friends post and it lists a certain number of comments, and you being the connector you are, the person who likes to read what other people think and feel and believe, you click to read the comments and you can't see them.

Yah, people say nobody knows when you are blocked on Facebook and you just move on. But the reminders are small ways that continue to alert you of something you don't have. A lost connection.

You can see it as a slap in the face, the knife to the heart, the kick in the gut...
You can see it as someone who doesn't like your light shinning in their eyes, a person who wants negativity and drama, a person who is really hurting and doesn't know how to heal, unable to accept love, unable to give love, and unable to feel forgiveness.

Truth cannot be hid. Honesty and integrity are visible to everyone. Love always wins.


Love doesn't flee. 
Love isn't jealous.
Love doesn't cheat. 
Love isn't cruel.
Love doesn't make you feel bad yourself.
Love endures.
- Evan Marc Katz 
‪#‎LoveOnPurpose‬ ‪#‎ChooseLove‬ ‪#‎LoveNeverFails‬

Thursday, February 18, 2016

your everyday choices

You and I are presented with choices every day.

You will look at my situation and circumstance and think or say I should or could do this / that. I will look at your situation and think or say you should or could do this / that. Yet the reality is, we will only be addressing what we see by OUR OWN beliefs, life's experiences and perceptions. Without all concepts affecting the thinking and acting of an individual, fully in that person's personality, we really can't be in a position to know or say what they should or could do. Yes, there are patterns and some things have a formula that always work, but the only way that calculation can be correct is if you have all pieces.

There are two sides to every situation. Sometimes choosing what is the best choice is confusing. Sometimes clarity isn't simple. Sometimes it is.

There is a time for everything...and in your life you will have certain situations that you will be presented with both sides of the equation.
- There is a time to hold on and there is a time to let go.
- There is a time to do more, be more, have more...there is a time to do less, be less, have less.
- There is a time to give and there is a take.
- There is a time to push through and there is a time to step back.
- There is a time to share and there is a time to have a secret.
- There is a time to talk about what is happening and there is a time to be quiet and let things ride.
- There is a time to extend more love and there is a time to honor boundaries more firmly.

Can I encourage you to ask questions to help someone figure out what is the right time for them to do these things in their life? Can I encourage you not to judge and say they are wrong for what they are thinking and doing differently then you are? Can you pray for them when you see something you think they should or could do that would create different results in their life?

The word should is full of guilt. The word could gives power and options and let's them see they have a choice. There is much power in the choice of our words.
‪#‎RelationshipsMatter‬ ‪#‎WhoseVoiceAreYouListeningTo‬ ‪#‎ThePowerOfChoice‬

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

how I choose to repair a relationship

You offend someone. You hurt them. You insult them. You trigger them to become angry. Now what?

For me, I always try to first see it from their perspective. What did I say that offended you? How did I hurt you? How did I insult you? How did I trigger your anger button? Once I have this information, I process and then respond with I am sorry.

Be clear with what you are sorry for: I am sorry that what I said caused this reaction in you. I am sorry I offended you. I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry you felt insulted. I am sorry you have become angry. I never meant to hurt you or others. I never meant to cause a problem between us. I then let them know what I simply meant to convey through my statement was ____________________ . You are not responsible for how they respond, but you can be responsible for how you triggered and set them off, whether it was knowingly or unknowingly.

I then ask for forgiveness. I am sorry for ______________________ and I ask you to please forgive me.

I also end the conversation with Thank YOU for letting me know you were/are offended, hurt, insulted, triggered. Thank YOU for letting me do what I can to fix this. Thank YOU for being a part of my life and helping me grow to be a better person. Thank YOU for accepting my apology (whether they really do or not, don't judge.)

I love you and appreciate you. I always tell them I love them. Always.

Does this repair all relationships? Yes and No.

It allows for a bridge of healing to be established between both parties, it doesn't mean the bridge of healing will take place. It allows for open communication, but it doesn't mean open communication by both parties will take place. It allows for love to be given and felt, if both parties engage in this method.

I have again been faced with the reality that you cannot control whether someone will receive your apology or not. You cannot force them to accept your apology. They have a will and a choice to do so. You cannot make someone accept love. You cannot make someone resolve their anger. You cannot make someone see your perspective. You cannot make someone see that you didn't mean to hurt them. You cannot make someone forgive you. They have to want to heal their own wound. They have to want to receive your forgiveness. They have to want that peace.

ALL YOU can control is YOUR part.

Don't let this stop you from being loving. Don't let this create a wall where one can be torn down. Don't let this stop you from responding in a way you will later wish you had had more control in the moment. Don't let their issues stop you from being who you can be because you choose to be. Even if they are ugly to your face or behind your back, online or offline. Keep the focus in mind as to what is important.
‪#‎RelationshipsMatter‬ ‪#‎LoveOnPurpose‬ ‪#‎BeLoving‬ ‪#‎Forgiveness‬

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

2 sides to every story

There are 2 sides to every story:
When you want to understand you will ask questions. When you want to judge and make assumptions, you won't ask questions.
When you desire the truth, you will seek to find it.
When you want to live in peace, you will do everything to create healing, love and a connection. When you want to live in anger, you will attack, blame, resent and create disconnection.
When you want to know what was said or done, by all participants, then and only then can create a clear perspective of reality.

Monday, February 15, 2016

let them...

Let them judge you.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them gossip about you.
Their opinions aren't your problem.
You stay kind, committed to love, and free in your authenticity.
No matter what they do or say don't you dare doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Dear Misty ~ Love God

Dear Misty, I will always ♡ LOVE ♡ YOU!!!

You are my beautiful princess. I made you with a gorgeous beauty to share with the world. With lovely deep blue eyes that want to see everything from everyone else's perspective. A head of dark bouncy girls that make you a doll. You have amazing skin. Make sure you remember how beautiful you are!!!

You have a brave, courageous, generous, and loving spirit! Your passion and enthusiasm for life shows in everything you do. Make it a priority to nourish and cherish your soul...and you will blossom deeper into an even more beautiful rose.

I know you love me and have a covenant with me. Keep this focus in spite of your experiences and pain in life. Don't be afraid of or question the path I am taking you on. Be gentle, loving, respectful, loyal and kind. Stay connected to me in faith. Keep your positive spirit alive! Don't let anyone dim your light. I want you to sparkle!!!

Continue to create the life you want, living intentionally with and in gratitude and you will glow and experience the abundant blessing I have for you. You are destined to do great things!