I would have lost heart...when I got diagnosed with Moderately Severe Depression February 2017, unless I believe this would help me learn more about myself and help me love myself more.
I would have lost heart...when I didn't have the strength to do my everyday chores, due to endless fatigue and sleepless nights, unless I believe that I can have gratitude in all things was something I could actually do and not just a good idea to implement or talk about.
I would have lost heart...when I gave $23k to a Girlfriends Non-Profit to fund projects I am passionate about after my 1st Mission Trip, leaving $300 in my Business Checking Account, cutting me out of her life with no chance of discussion, reconciliation, forgiveness, unless I believe that true love never fails and that this doesn't have to be just left to Jesus.
I would have lost heart...when I was questioned in a deposition about forging someone's signature unless I had a clear conscious and knew I had never forged anyone's signature at any time ever in my whole life and somehow God would have the truth be exposed.
I would have lost heart...when I decided to terminate my Medical Billing Services after being in the Industry for 20 Years and it being one of the main sources of revenue in my business for almost 13 Years, unless I believed that God was working out a better plan for me to have less stress in my life, even if that meant not having any discretionary income and even having to implement a very tight budget which meant no monthly travel like I've done the last 2 Years.
I would have lost heart...when people criticize what I post on Facebook and don't try to learn my perspective, don't see my heart, don't want to love even in disagreements, don't appreciate my vulnerability and desire to create connection, unless I knew that to make a ripple effect like Jesus means you won't be liked or be received much of the time and that the truth is that God is asking me to follow Him, not you.
I would have lost heart...in ALL of these things and more, unless I believed that when you experience a breakdown this allows you to fully have a breakthrough, to more fully grow into a deeper, courageous, beautiful and loving person if you let it.
Unless, I believed God would be faithful to complete His work in me.
Unless, I believed God would help me get through this too.
Unless, I believed I could hold on and find strength to whether this storm, pain and challenge.
Unless, I believed that I would become stronger by all that I am facing.
...I would have despaired and lost heart, unless I had not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord! ~ Psalm 27:13 AMP
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