Wednesday, February 22, 2017

blessings in my deposition

Blessings from my Day:

- I am very THANKFUL I do not have a 2 hour commute ONE WAY to Plano every day. 
- I am very THANKFUL for gobs of Friends who will be Prayer Warriors for you when you need them to be.
- I am very THANKFUL for YouTube and #GiantsFall and #WalkingLikeGiants that I played on my breaks.
- I am very THANKFUL that I hired an Attorney to represent me.
- I am very THANKFUL that being honest isn't something I have to think about.
- I am very THANKFUL my "getting in trouble" today was over providing too much information.
- I am very THANKFUL that I am 40 Years old and this is the first time I have ever had to do a Deposition.
- I am very THANKFUL that courage is one of my core characteristics.
- I am very THANKFUL that it is National Margarita Day.
- I am very THANKFUL that this day is over.
- I am so very THANKFUL that this day is over.
- I am extremely THANKFUL that this day is over.

#BeGrateful #Thankful #Gratitude #ThankfulHeart #HaveGratitude #BlessingsInTheStorm #YouGetWhatYouFocusOn

4 steps to remember in Friendships

People will walk in and out of your life. People will resonate with your spirit, your personality, your energy. People will connect with you, enjoy your company, and want to be with you.

And some people won't.

I was raised to make friends with everyone. To not have cliches (pal around with one or two individuals exclusively). I was not allowed to spend more time with one person than others, even if I admired them greatly and wanted a close relationship with them. I was taught to give everyone the same attention and love, not make someone feel more important then someone else. At any point I felt rejection in a connection, I was taught to move on. To find a grandmother, a mother struggling with little kids, a little kid that needed help. And if I couldn't find that, I was told to go write someone a letter or walk alone and spend time with me.

As a child this was hard. Everyone had a Best Friend. Everyone had special people over for Slumber Parties, Birthday's and like Events. I didn't get to participate (even if I had been invited the answer would have been No). I had to learn to like the options I got in creating relationships, or I was going to be frustrated because the rules were the rules.

This has brought me a ton of friends. It has connected me to a boat load of people. It has made me able to lead Networking Groups, Facebook Groups, Bible Study Groups, do Speed Dating, Dance Lessons, Dinner Clubs, Singles Cruise, Conferences and more with the ability to bridge the gap, meet new people, connect everyone together, learn each persons story, when most people would be nervous with strangers, only talk to people they know at Events or hide. Honestly, I am not a naturally outgoing person, this has become a learned skill that I have cultivated to create connection.

Yet, this very thing that has been a huge blessing in my life has also brought deep friction in friendships when others have expectations to be my closest girlfriend or expect that when they meet me I will just make time for them all the time. It has caused those that feel I expect them to be as open and vulnerable as I am with them, back with me. It has caused some to feel jealous of the friendships I have with many people. It has made some feel I do not value their friendship because I do not call, text, write, or visit them often. It has caused some to judge both me and the people who I consider to be my friends because of how I have lived my life, trying to be a ripple effect in my circle of friends.

There are four things that help me work through this when it happens and I want to share it with you in case you have challenges in your relationships.

1. Those that want to spend time with you will. Those that really value your relationship will make it work, even when you live out of state. Those that want to learn what it takes to have a relationship with you will ask. We all get busy. We sometimes have to say I am sorry, things have been chaotic, complicated, and my schedule hasn't had time, but I would like to make time in a week or so, what do you have available? If someone keeps making excuses, it probably is not that important to them or there is something else in their life that is getting their focus and creating relationships isn't one of the top 10 things in their life. When we really consider the relationship to be important, we will put it on our calendar. Cultivate deeper connections with those that make time for you. Let those that don't run around living their life and let them join you when they are ready, if they ever are, and don't judge them.

2. Sometimes this means we will have to be the one to uncover what their expectations are in the relationship. This means asking them what their Love Languages are (yes, this applies to friends too not just romantic relationships, in fact I make my employees take this test during their hiring process because it helps the work relationship too). It takes asking what do they need from the relationship to feel connected and to let them know that they matter. If you are not aware the relationship is extremely important to them, whether that is in phone calls, face to face time, or letters, how can you change? Figure this out. Put effort into it, even if they don't, to do your part. Seek to understand before you are understood.

3. Relationships goes through phases. Just as each one of my Counselors / Mentors / Coaches have been a huge part of my life, they have had Chapters. I do not necessary keep in touch with, follow, or read everything they write now because I am working with a new Coach. Does that mean they don't matter to me? Or I don't like their content? It doesn't necessarily mean that. I may have grown beyond what some of them teach. I may not connect with them the same way I did when I was going through a previous Chapter, or I may just need a new perspective from someone new. Someone who doesn't have all the back history that can see something differently then I can. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut in a relationship and need to be challenged further. Sometimes some people have a limit on how far they can grow us.

Relationships can be the same way. Some will feed you for a time. Some will add value for a Chapter. Some aren't meant to be in your life for a long period of time. Some need to be taken away so that you will grow the way you need to because if they stayed in your life, it would stunt your growth. Honor, respect, appreciate, love and have fond memories of the part this person played in your life. If you wanted them in your life longer then they were, let them know. Don't harbor this. If they don't want you on the same level, release expectations and allow them to pursue their own journey. I promise, God will bring someone else in their place. You might not see now why they have been removed, but in time, it becomes clear. It doesn't mean it won't hurt, but if you focus on the good memories, it will help you to heal and let go.

4. Sometimes things are going on behind the scenes that even a very close person knows nothing about. Sometimes the individual will build walls, become reclusive, quiet, shut you out, not because of you but because life itself has gotten so hard that they are fearful. Or maybe they are just trying to live today and to make time for you would send them over the edge. Believe the person is being honest with you when you ask if you have done something to cause harm in the relationship. Ask how you can support them. Ask if there is anything you need to know so you can pray for them. Ask, don't assume. Don't build a story.  Get the facts. Don't rely on what someone else tells you is going on in their life. Connect and inquire to learn for your own good, not to share or gossip with others, but to assist the relationship. This will create trust. Connection. Vulnerability. Authenticity. And add lots of value to the relationship.

I've had to remind myself of these things with a situation that happened the weekend after my birthday. I promise relationships are worth it, even if they seem complicated at times. Step forward and be vulnerable and love, unconditionally. Treat someone else the way you want to be treated, even when they are rude, angry, say hurtful things, or don't respond to getting together with you like you want them to. 99% of the time, it isn't about you, it is stuff they have going on in their own life. Just love.
#TheSassyVoice #RelationshipsMatter #ShareInEachOthersLives #CircleOfFriends #SeekToUnderstand #LoveOnPurpose

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

navigating communication paths

Communication can sometimes appear to be a tricky thing.

People say you should be able to say whatever to whomever whenever and if they love you, care about you, they won't let it come between you. They will listen. They will hear you. They will love you.

But do they? Do I? Do we?

Learning when to say what when can sometimes seem like it is a game, a puzzle, or this overly complex situation. But is it?

When we experience negative things from sharing our feelings, we come away with saying that maybe we shared it at the wrong time. Maybe they weren't ready to hear our heart. Maybe we shouldn't have shared at all. Maybe there is something wrong with our feelings. Maybe others just don't get us.

There is the Winnie the Pooh Quote: 
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

But is that true?

In theory, it is a good concept, but do we live it? Do we let others tell us how they feel? Do we accept how they feel? Or are we trying to change them into what we want them to feel? What we want them to be?

I tell you how I feel and you get hurt. You tell me how you feel and I get hurt. Now what?

If we were listening, truly listening, would we have gotten hurt? If we saw each others perspectives, truly saw them, would we get hurt? If we were willing to give the friendship the time it needs, would we ask more questions? Give it more space? Would we try to be more empathetic? Sympathetic? Understanding? Loving? Caring? Giving? Encouraging? Even when we were hurt?

I've been doing some reflecting on unconditional love. From several conversations and working through some painful friendships in my own life. I want to learn more about what that means and how to live it out.

What about you? Share with me your thoughts.
#TheSassyVoice #RelationshipsMatter #YouMatter #ThePowerOfChoice

Monday, February 20, 2017

is life full of coincidences?

There are no "coincidences". God puts things in your path at the right time.

I honestly didn't believe this until the last few years of my transformation journey, as I learned through my own deeply personal experiences how God works, behind the scenes, out in front of you clearing the path, leading the way, guiding you forward, and always for a purpose.

I believe some of these situations are tests to see if you will apply your learning, keep your word, stay focused. I believe some of them are storms to shake you up to the core, to see if you will let it increase your faith or drown you in doubt. I believe some of them are meant to help you see the fruit of your labors and the results of being disciplined. I believe some of them help you to get a clearer picture about yourself, the vision for your life. I believe some of them help you see your purpose, your calling, your reason for being right here, right now. I believe some of these things happen to increase our faith, kinda like giving us chill bumps all over, for things we know intuitively we couldn't orchestrate if we tried. I believe that when we are in tune to this energy, very connectedly aware, we get so much more from this abundant life!

When we open our eyes and are willing to "see" beyond the circumstances, we will learn so much more from this journey.

Will you take off your sunglasses? Will you widen your eyes? 

Will you expectantly face the day looking for these divine moments? 

Will you quit looking in other directions? Will you be aware? 

Will you choose faith? 

Will you press on?
#TheSassyVoice #CreateTheLifeYouWant #ThePowerOfChoice #WhoseVoiceAreYouListeningTo

Sunday, February 19, 2017

my first published prayer

When your friend sends you a message to let you know your prayer, written out in your prayer journal, as you read along side the daily devotions of the Created to Be Devotional by Gateway Church, that you shared and posted daily on their Facebook Page Notes each day for 28 days of January 2017, and it gets published in their monthly Gateway Life Magazine...
To remind you that the power of prayer is deep.
To remind you of your own words at a time when you need them.
To remind you why being a ripple effect is so important.
To remind you to remember the truths of gratitude, compassion, love.
To remind you to believe.
#PrayerChangesLives #FerventPrayer #PrayerStrategy #Pray #Believe#MistyWGilbert #AuthorLife #TheSassyVoice #GatewayLifeMagazine #CreatedToBeDevotional 

Saturday, February 18, 2017

how to say I am sorry

You offend someone. You hurt them. You insult them. You trigger them to become angry. Now what?

For me, I always try to first see it from their perspective. What did I say that offended you? How did I hurt you? How did I insult you? How did I trigger your anger button? Once I have this information, I process and then respond with I am sorry.

Be clear with what you are sorry for: I am sorry that what I said caused this reaction in you. I am sorry I offended you. I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry you felt insulted. I am sorry you have become angry. I never meant to hurt you or others. I never meant to cause a problem between us. I then let them know what I simply meant to convey through my statement was ____________________ . You are not responsible for how they respond, but you can be responsible for how you triggered and set them off, whether it was knowingly or unknowingly.

I then ask for forgiveness. I am sorry for ______________________ and I ask you to please forgive me.

I also end the conversation with Thank YOU for letting me know you were/are offended, hurt, insulted, triggered. Thank YOU for letting me do what I can to fix this. Thank YOU for being a part of my life and helping me grow to be a better person. Thank YOU for accepting my apology (whether they really do or not, don't judge.)

I love you and appreciate you. I always tell them I love them. Always.

Does this repair all relationships? Yes and No.

It allows for a bridge of healing to be established between both parties, it doesn't mean the bridge of healing will take place. It allows for open communication, but it doesn't mean open communication by both parties will take place. It allows for love to be given and felt, if both parties engage in this method.

I have again been faced with the reality that you cannot control whether someone will receive your apology or not. You cannot force them to accept your apology. They have a will and a choice to do so. You cannot make someone accept love. You cannot make someone resolve their anger. You cannot make someone see your perspective. You cannot make someone see that you didn't mean to hurt them. You cannot make someone forgive you. They have to want to heal their own wound. They have to want to receive your forgiveness. They have to want that peace.

ALL YOU can control is YOUR part.

Don't let this stop you from being loving. Don't let this create a wall where one can be torn down. Don't let this stop you from responding in a way you will later wish you had had more control in the moment. Don't let their issues stop you from being who you can be because you choose to be. Even if they are ugly to your face or behind your back, online or offline. Keep the focus in mind as to what is important.
#RelationshipsMatter #LoveOnPurpose #BeLoving #Forgiveness

Friday, February 17, 2017

an evening at laugh

Last night I went to an event called Laugh where two guys were cracking jokes and trying to make us laugh, sometimes succeeding easily, and sometimes not.

As I drove home from this event an hour from my house, I wondered why I didn't come away feeling like I had a great evening. Ohhhhh, don't get me wrong, it wasn't a "bad" event. It was really good to see some of my Girlfriends, to give them hugs and to catch up in the intermission as to what was going on in each others lives. But seriously, I drove an hour each way and spent 2 hours listening to guys talk about things that under normal circumstances I wouldn't sit and listen to. Sure, the event was free, other than fuel, drive time and getting to bed 90 minutes past my bedtime, it cost me nothing. But making jokes about doing workouts and farting 17 times is something I need in my life to have humor? To make me laugh? To create a "good time"?

I hesitate writing this. Because my viewpoint isn't the norm. I am the odd man out. Over and over. Everyone says that was so great. He was awesome. Wasn't that fun? What a great evening.

To be honest. No. This wasn't a great evening!

A great evening to me would have been having you at my house and sitting on my couch talking about real life. Laughing. Talking. Sharing.

A great evening to me would have been catching up on some messages from Steven Furtick because he has some great material and I can't get enough of his series right now called Work Your Window. Or I could listen to one of his series that rocked my world 2 Years ago called God's Will Is Whatever.

A great evening to me would have been getting my 40th Birthday Thank You Notes written because I have only gotten to a handful of them. And I normally get this done ASAP.
A great evening to me would have been to write out prayers to those who have asked for prayer in my Women's Virtual Online Fervent Bible Study Group that I am leading on Monday Nights.

A great evening to me would have been to do something that would have added value to my life. That would have bettered me as a person. That would have had a lasting effect on me. These things light my fire. These things make me happy. These things are what I will pursue.

And yes, I need more humor in my life, I am a very practical, back and white person, doing more work then fun, but I don't want to laugh over things that are shallow and stupid.
I'll stand up and be different. I'll accept being the odd man out. It won't be the first time I write something on Facebook and my blog that will shake you up.

I am going to settle for more.

What do you want from your life? Will you spend time doing the things that follow the vision you have for your life? Will you be willing to be a ripple effect and make a difference in things that really matter?
#TheSassyVoice #ADifferentPerspective #BeDifferent #SettleForMore

life lessons from yoga ~ part 1

I love to do Yoga. Regular Yoga, Hot Yoga, Yoga in the Vineyard and I have done Yoga consistently for a few years after dabbling in it with some Groupon purchases for awhile.

One of the things I love about Yoga is the way that it strengthens my Mind Body connection. How it forces me to go internally to receive the message and transform myself. How the words of my instructors shape my day and change my life. How the lessons I learn from my practice can be applied to other aspects of my life.

A few weeks ago, my instructor shared that our mind is always looking for ways to prove we can't do a pose, that we do not have the strength, that our body isn't able, that we aren't good enough, that we will fail. I know this to be true. Not just because she said it or because I learned something from a previous Coach who worded it a bit differently, but from my own life's experiences.

Sometimes when I am doing this workout and the instructor shares something like this, I wanna say, time out! I need to think, journal, pray over that. Or hey, that was powerful, can we talk about that? I have to make a mental note to come back to the thought later so that I can apply it to my life more deeply.

Today, I want to ask you: Whose Voice are you listening to?

The one that says this is hard? I can't do this? I want out? I am weak? I am not good enough? Nobody loves me?

Or will you retrain your mind to embrace the truth? To be open to new possibilities? To test yourself? To strengthen you beyond what you feel you can do?

What would it take for you and I to be open and willing to see something in a new perspective? What would it take for you to receive the events of your life in a new way? What would it take for you to ask yourself empowering questions that will help you reshape things in a new light?

I want to encourage you to be more! To change your focus! To shift your mindset! To be open to something different. Will you join me in doing this in your own life as I do it in mine?
#TheSassyVoice #ADifferentPerspective #BeMore #ThePowerOfChoice #LifeLessons #YouGetWhatYouFocusOn #WhoseVoiceAreYouListeningTo #Yoga #YogaLessons

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

life lessons from a Litigation Attorney

In a week from today, I will be in court playing a key role in a deposition for a client. Last week I met with my Litigation Attorney who will be representing me and guiding me in this all day grueling process. I want to share with you a few lessons I have applied from this session, our conversation, and journaling that I have done since this has presented itself a few weeks ago. I want to share because maybe you can apply these principals to whatever you have going on in your life...because we all have battles, even if they are not intense legal ones.

In depositions, the goal of the party asking the questions is to disarm you. To make you squirm. To try to back you in a corner. To make you feel like the odd man out. Remembering that this is their goal will help you in how you respond. Ultimately, they want to get you to fight, even if that means drawing you in so you come across the table with all claws out.  However, if you take this route, you are going to feed their case. Don't. Keep an outward calm spirit even if internally you do not feel it.

When we are faced with legal battles, all of us want to defend what we know the truth to be. We want to prove our points and many times will go to great lengths to achieve this. We ultimately need to remember that the truth cannot be hid. We cannot make someone else accept the truth. Whatever they are looking for, they will dig up, they will find, they will conjure up and make up along the way, and they will create their own story. But the truth, at the core, remains the truth. Don't feel the need to fight the truth. Put the truth out on the table and leave it there.

The best position we can take in these situations, is to remove the emotion from the questions. Just look at what was the question? What did they just ask me? When we know that the other party is scheming with lies and doing everything in their power to take someone out, this can be hard to do. We are invested in the situation. We are attached to the outcome. And many times, we play a vital role and have more information then anyone. No matter the results or outcome, if we stay focused on showing up, giving responses that are truthful, succinct, and literal, these are the best techniques to answer the questions.

Ultimately, for all that I am spending for a Litigation Attorney, it can be a bit disheartening to know that he will really just be my wing man, someone sitting next to me, sort of like my shadow. He cannot answer my questions for me. He cannot tell me how to answer the questions. He can interject when they ask a question that violates the client attorney privilege, but no question is off the table. When I learned this, I honestly wanted to just cry. This seems so unfair. But when did life ever get labeled as being fair? When did things ever only get dished out to you when you were ready for them? When did you ever grow when life was easy? When did you ever learn lessons when everything came together with the answers, the protection, the information, and the understanding you wanted?

As a planner, someone who wants to be ready for this long 9 hour day of pressure and intensity, I can only prepare my spirit. I can ask my Prayer Warriors to be praying for me. That I have wisdom, discretion, boldness, humility and confidence. That I do not let them get into my head with their verbal attacks. That I do not allow them to tear at my beautiful heart. That I keep my focus on the real battle. That I word my responses appropriately. That I remember who is fighting this battle for me, who is not seen in the room, but can be seen through me. That all I have to do is take His my arrow, my stones, my tools with me and let Him help me know when to use them.

In every situation in life, there is a balance of when to try to defend with the truth and when you should let the facts speak for themselves. When to fight and when to walk away. When to be all in and when to get out. When to hang on and when to let go. When to press in and when to press out. When to be for and when to be against.

This will be a challenging day. The moments in our lives that squeeze us hard are the ones that grow us the most when we allow it to.

I ask that if you have space in your prayer list for this situation, that you pray for me as I do the diligent ground work over the next week. But ultimately, next Wednesday, your love and support for me as I represent my client, as a key player with information, that his attorneys that will be in the room, my attorney and the prosecuting attorneys come away with a clear picture that she is a woman with strength, dignity and who has no fear. 
#TheSassyVoice #LifeLessons #Strength #Dignity #NoFear #MyMountainInFrontOfMe #GodIsWithMe

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

poem ~ today I choose Love

Today I choose love,
Not a little or a lot.
I simply will give,
Every bit that I got.

Love for my Friends,
The ones near and far. 
Tho I wish all lived close, 
Cuz you matter the most.

Love for my Enemies, 
The new ones and old. 
For forgiveness and freedom,
Is purer then gold.

Love for myself,
For to treat me is kind.
How can I love your heart,
If I'm not sweet to mine?

Choose love my Friend,
For you'll have no regrets,
For love is the only thing
That heals all, I can bet.

One glimpse of the amount
From your heart to mine,
I wish you much love,
To the end of all time.
#Poems #AuthorLife #MistyWGilbert #TodayIChooseLove #Love #LoveOnPurpose #ShareLove #ShareInEachOthersLives

Monday, February 13, 2017

poem ~ the beauty of the storm

The beauty of a storm
can only be seen,
when you're willing to search
behind the scenes.

When you can look 
beyond the rain,
you will see the rainbow
that shines between the clouds.

The tornado will circle
fiercely all around you, 
creating upheaval and chaos
unless you find the calm center.

When the thunder scares you
and startles you awake,
you can let it alarm you or
marvel at the sound nature makes.

No matter your storm
that's internal or external,
there is beauty in it
but the viewpoint is optional.
#Poems #AuthorLife #MistyWGilbert #TheBeautyOfTheStorm #LifeLessons #ADifferentPerspective

Sunday, February 12, 2017

poem ~ pain is a gift

Pain is a gift,
that nobody wants.
It is wrapped up inside you,
to strengthen and guide you.

To alert you to danger
and help you to see,
something bad is there,
you need to avoid it please.

To show you very clearly,
you abruptly must stop,
before you do more damage,
and simply ruin all you've got.

Sometimes pain is there,
to help you gain strength,
to build and be challenged,
above the limits you think.

The purpose of pain,
is to help you to see,
something that's happening,
beyond what you can see.

When you focus on pain,
and see it as a gift,
it will change your perspective,
and allow you to shift.

Pain is a gift,
that each of us should want,
don't fight it,
let it's purpose define you.
#Poems #AuthorLife #MistyWGilbert #PainIsAGift #LifeLessons #ADifferentPerspective 

Saturday, February 11, 2017

poem ~ a hurting soul

I'm truly not trying 
to shove you away,
that's the last thing I want,
is to make you feel this way.

I just don't have the space,
as I sit in the dark,
these waves crashing over me, 
creating pain deep in my heart.

The energy it takes,
to just live each day,
is the focus of each moment,
day after day.

You ask, how can I help? 
I'm so sorry you're here,
if I knew the answer,
I'd get myself there.

Until you've been there,
it makes no sense at all,
and feels like I'm building,
the boundaries of a wall.

I don't expect you,
to understand me at all,
the challenges, the heartache,
His plan, the purpose, the call.

I ask that you love me,
I need you to pray,
for wisdom and guidance,
thru each of these days.

The storm is raging,
internally it collides,
the force is so great,
I choose not to hide.

You say I should be quiet,
the world doesn't need to know,
this pain that I'm feeling,
down deep in my soul.

I'd ask you to consider, 
that pain is a gift, 
it's message to help me,
respond to and thus shift.

A mask on to hide it,
won't help me uncover,
the lesson, the reason,
renewed hope in this season.

Fakeness does nothing,
to create connection with you,
to pretend life is awesome,
would be lying to you.

The truth I will tell,
integrity I will give,
intentionally in each moment,
on this life I must live.

I've given my all,
every day in the fight,
I'm burnout at best,
so exhausted, need rest.

I'll make it I know, 
I won't quit in the fight,
but this chapter is challenging,
every day and night.

I reach for my journal,
I go for a walk,
I look to the sunset,
I pray while I talk.

For now I keep moving,
one step at a time,
for everything is happening,
divine perfectly in line.
#Poems #AuthorLife #MistyWGilbert #PainIsAGift #AHeartThatIsHurting

Friday, February 10, 2017

the process of becoming new

The Cross is a symbol of becoming NEW in Christ.

This means there is a process to letting go of old ways, old stories, old behaviors, old thoughts, old feelings, old experiences, old beliefs.

To create new means you have to Stop. Undo. Change. Release. Transition. Create or Build. Embrace. Focus.

This week it has become clear to me there is still too much from the "old" that is still a part of my life. Too many things trying to still attach themselves to my life. Some things that I haven't released that need to be released for appropriate growth. There is a need for further pruning. More onion layers to be uncovered and removed. Necessary Endings that need to take place for New Beginnings to even start. More focus on New Chapters.

Sometimes we don't know what all these revelations are to us as we go into ourselves and uncover the still small voice inside of us. Sometimes the answers that come throughout our day aren't where we think we are going to get them. Sometimes the ways God shows up in our lives to put the pieces together leave us in awe.

But it is our choice on how we will work with the old and create the new. It is our choice whether we embrace it or fight it. God gives us a free will. But if we seek Him, He will guide us.

I will be focusing on what all this means and how to implement it. But I am determined to forge ahead. Removing those things that hold me back. Pressing on towards the mark that God has set for my journey. Not wavering in my faith. Rising up when I am taken down. Continuing on in dignity, strength, without fear of the future. In laughter. Focused on taking the next step to press on to be who I am called to be.

It is a journey. It is a process. I welcome this New Chapter.
#TheSassyVoice #NewBeginnings #NewChapter #HaveFaith #StaySTrong #RiseUp #DontQuit #OutWithTheOld #InWithTheNew

Thursday, February 9, 2017

poem ~ pain in the moment

In my anguish of spirit,
there are tears on my face.
The dark night drags on
as I toss until dawn.

Forces come against me,
wave upon wave.
I crash in the storm,
asking how many more days?

I am distressed,
what way should I take?
Days fly away,
with these enemies all in my face.

A bronze-tipped arrow
pierces deep in my heart.
Intense pain in the moment
as I gasp in the dark.

What strength do I have,
that I should still hope?
My purpose, my vision,
my plans as I seek to cope.

I no longer feel courage,
or any power to help myself.
Reality of this understanding
leaves me deeply discouraged.

Oh sometimes how painful,
are honest my words!
The testing, the pressure,
the process of refining pure gold.

Teach me and help me
in this moment to see,
In quiet confidence for
all that you are showing to me.

Help me to trust
and not settle for less
For all of this happening
to grow me beyond my best.

[a poem written on the inspiration of The book of Job]
~ Written By Misty Gilbert
‪#‎Poems‬ ‪#‎AuthorLife‬ ‪#‎MistyWGilbert‬ ‬‪#‎CreateTheLifeThatYouWant‬ ‪#‎LiveIntentionally‬ #PainTheGiftNobodyWants #PainInTheMoment

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

be an overcomer in dark ugly days

When life squeezes you deeper then you have ever been squeezed...When it sucks all the juice of life out of you...When it leaves no air to filter through your lungs...When it punctures your heart and makes it bleed open again, a wound that still hurts to the touch...When salt is added to an existing wound...

Then what? Is it okay to pray: Really Jesus, how much more do you think I can take?

Yesterday was one of those days for me. 

And I did just that.

An unexpected medical diagnosis that has set me back leaps and bounds. Pain. Frustration. Tears. Intentional methods applied to regroup and get on with my day.  Conference Calls. Meetings.  Paperwork. Then off to a first time Consultation Meeting with a Litigation Attorney to discuss my testimony in a clients lawsuit with a court date set for February 22nd.  As if those two things in and of themselves weren't enough, I got the reminder of two close girlfriends who've turned their backs on me and shut me out.  One through a picture on Facebook of a girlfriend that is very dearly loved celebrating a very special chapter in her life that I am missing out on, but not by my choice.  The second, when I went out for my weekly date night alone, my closest girlfriend of 18 years who asked me to never contact her again, was sitting in a booth at the same restaurant I was at. 

Life is squeezing me, sucking the juice out of me, leaving me no air in my lungs, puncturing my heart open, again, adding salt to an existing wound.

I think it is okay to pray things like that to Jesus. He knows when you feel like you are coming undone. He knows we are thinking those thoughts, so why not express it? He hears my cries, through my tears and questioning why. He knows I am frustrated, so why not tell him I am? He knows I am hurting, my heart is bleeding, I am exhausted, that I don't feel I have it in me to keep fighting the good fight. I see no use in keeping it a secret.

But in the midst of your pain, what will you focus on?

It is in the times of desperation that you have to remember what is important. You have to remember the preparation you have done in previous hard challenges and trials that enables you to handle this one too. It is in these moments when you have to focus on the good things, remember the beautiful moments you had with these girlfriends and not focus on the fact that they are not in your life now. You have to renew prayers of forgiveness and say out loud "Forgive them, for they know not what they do to me".  Even if they do.  You have to choose to believe that they do not realize they are intentionally hurting you, again.  You have to choose to ask for prayers, help, love, support and be willing to accept it from those who choose to have you in their life.  By those that really are true friends.  By those that give a damn what is going on with you.  It is in these times that your true character will be displayed in how you show up, what you do, and how you respond.  You have to remember to breathe and tell yourself that it's all going to be okay, because it is not over yet!  You have to find strength to press on. To remember why you are not going to quit. You have to stay very focused. You have to choose not to loose heart.  Because you are an overcomer!

Will you stand your ground? In a place where hope can be found? Do you believe that God will make all things right?  Do you believe that you have the strength to make it through this too? 

The only way I can vulnerably share with you how to get through dark ugly days like this that you want to obliterate off the calendar, is to walk out what I talk. The only way I can tell you it works is when I practice it in my own life and see for myself that it works. The only way I can encourage you is if I encourage myself.

We each have a choice. What will yours be today?
#TheSassyVoice #BeDifferent #CreateTheLifeYouWant #ThePowerOfChoice #BeAnOvercomer

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

is Facebook just an online Newspaper?

Is Facebook an online Newspaper for you? Or is it a Comic Strip?  Or your daily Dear Abby column?  Or is it your Gossip Hot Line?  Or is it a tool to build relationships?

Depending on what it is for you, will depend on what effort you put into it.  

If you see it as an online Newspaper, you will scroll looking to see what is of interest to read, maybe not carrying who posted, just browsing and filling up time.

If it is a Comic Strip, you will look for the humor and make a joke out of all of it.

If it is your source of Dear Abby, you will use it to be getting advice and posting your opinions, arguing about what is or isn't important to you, what you agree with and what you don't.

If you don't have enough of a life of your own, you will be looking to see what you can scope out in others and gossip about.


You can put something into your time on here and get something out of it.  You can use this online Social Media platform to be social, which means to engage.  You can create conversations.  You can develop relationships.  You can ask questions.  You can make prayer requests.  You can share ideas, memories, and moments.  You can create a Circle of Friends.

But to do any of that, requires involvement.  It requires liking posts.  Commenting.  Interaction. Engagement.  Connection.  Caring.  Empathy.  Sympathy.  Feelings.  

Without involvement, comments, interaction, engagement, or connection it's just a newspaper and can be discarded just as easily as it was obtained.
#TheSassyVoice #YouGetWhatYouFocusOn #RelationshipsMatter #ThePowerOfChoice #ADifferentPerspective #CircleOfFriends

Monday, February 6, 2017

walking out the tension in life

There are times in our lives that it seems easier to just start over. To cut all ties with something or someone that is making life difficult.

To scrap the project and throw it away. To not fix what is broken. To put it out of sight on a shelf, or better yet, just hide it. To just walk out.

But most things do not resolve themselves this way. You can attempt to do this, but the problem will fester and resurface. The ramifications to such actions generally follow you. The lesson that you need to learn will come back another time, over and over in different situations until you learn it.

Yet, there are sometimes you have to burn the bridge. You have to run and not look back. You have to wipe the slate completely clean leaving no trace of chalk.

Sometimes, you can't spend time or energy trying to figure out what parts are needed and how to fix something. You can't look for clues to figure out what was written on the chalk board the day before to figure out the formula to the problem. You can't keep trying to find the right key to fit the lock you just got to get a new one.

This is the tension in life.

Knowing when to let go and when to hang on. When to try harder and when to quit. When to keep forging on ahead being patient and when to shout mercy, I can't do this.
You will always be asking the question when to start, when to pause, and when to stop...this is life.

Sometimes you just have to ask the question to find the answer. It is there. And every day it awaits you with a choice: Will you let today be a brand new day?
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #Start #Pause #Stop #CleanSlate #BrandNewDay

Sunday, February 5, 2017

how is your faith journey?

The journey of life takes faith.  

It takes faith to uncover your next step.  It takes faith to be willing to ask for help.  It takes faith to be disciplined to do the things you know to do.  It takes faith to say no to the things that aren't meant for you in this chapter.  It takes a faith to stay focused, strong, and persevere through every season that comes your way.  It takes faith to take care of your body.  It takes faith to ask empowering questions.  It takes faith to have courage.  It takes faith to believe.  It takes faith to create hope.  It takes faith to be who you are called to be.  It takes faith to feed your purpose.  It takes faith to see your potential.  It takes faith to share love.  It takes faith to not stay stuck in pain.  It takes faith to create a vision.  It takes faith It takes faith to move beyond today.

Will you increase your faith?
#TheSassyVoice #HaveFaith #Faith #LifeIsAJourney 

Saturday, February 4, 2017

what's created your success?

All of us are looking for ways to be able to be successful in our lives. Frequently, we will sit down and ask someone, what do you feel has been the most contributing factor to your success in life?

I love learning from other people. I love learning what the keys are that have made them achieve the results they want in their life. I love being able to improve what I am doing by shifting my thoughts on something, learning a different approach, understanding another perspective, being shown how to do something more effectively, or simply learning something new.

For me, I would say it is this: 
Simple disciplines done consistently over time produce results.

I was on a call two weeks ago with a client and shared with them that thought and how much it has changed my world, letting them know that they can get through this rough spell by changing some patterns and paradigms and working to create disciplines that they do consistently.

This truly has been one of my key's to success in life. Creating processes on how I do things and always following through with being diligent to do them every single day, week, month has created phenomenal results from sleep patterns, to saving money, to an exercise routine, to cultivating friendships, to the number of books I read every year, to learning new skills, to anything and everything you can think of.

This client asked me when I came up with that quote. The fact is, that quote isn't mine. It is from one of my absolutely favorite books called: The Slight Edge. that I read at least once every single year. I always get something out of the book or refresh myself on principals that are important and so it is one of my books I make sure I keep active in my library. I had my own version of a quote similar that I used previously to reading this book, but this one to me says it so much better that I dropped mine: Creating routines and being disciplined to do them is what generates success.

What would you say has been a key to helping you create the life you want? To help you achieve results? To get the success you desire in your own life?
#TheSassyVoice #CreateTheLifeYouWant #SimpleDisciplines #TheSlightEdge

Thursday, February 2, 2017

where did you get your sassy voice?

Have you ever been in a situation that you swear your eyes are open, but you can't believe what you are seeing? Maybe you even shake your head and make sure you aren't living in a dream? Maybe you even look around to see if anyone else is watching, because the whole situation has stolen your breath away and you can't breath. Not a lick of air, and it isn't because you don't need air, you need it now more then ever, you just are afraid of how things are going to turn out. Maybe even it feels like everything is happening in slow motion and you can remember ever little detail of how it all happened.

This is how I felt the day my Mom was frustrated in traffic and unable to go as fast as she wanted to in the fast lane because of some people who wouldn't even drive the speed limit. She couldn't pass on the right hand side because there were vehicles there, and there were too many vehicles behind her for her to slow down further to try to find a gap to merge into a different lane and go around. So after driving miles like this and her anxiety growing, she decided she was done with that game, and she took off to the shoulder to the left of the fast lane, and zoomed right past a whole pack of people leaving all of them in the dust!!! It wasn't a lane, it was the side of the road where you would park if you were having mechanical issues with your vehicle. On top of that, she did this going up the mountain that we called "The Hill", traveling from San Bernardino, California to Apple Valley, California.

Us kids looked at each other like this is scary, and yet kinda fun at the same time to see my Mom leave peeps in the dust, literally. But then, we wondered what if there had been a police man behind her or just up ahead when she did this? What would she have done to get out of this?

My Mom was someone who raised us with very black and white rules, extremely clear expectations, full understanding of all laws and rules, and she expected you to do everything you knew to do and if you weren't, she would point it out to you. Yet, as I grew older and got an understanding of life and things better, I saw the discrepancy in how she lived what she believed. I would sometimes be brave to ask questions, risking more ridicule, demeaning comments, humiliation, manipulation, control, shame, guilt, abuse, condemnation, even with the deep fear I had in my heart and mind, many times shaking all over.

We would have discussions around things like this as I tried to learn her perspective. She disapproved of me asking questions and felt I was being a threat to her authority, she disliked me pointing out the things I felt I was seeing that were full of hypocrisy, she hated my ability to think things through logically and proactively with the ability to disclose emotions for facts, but yet she could honestly tell I was wanting to try to understand and piece things together even though she hated it. More times then not, she told me that when I was an adult, I would have a better understanding of life and things like this and be able to see the differences. Or she would tell me that I was messing in her business that I had no business asking about. Or she would argue with me and justify why she was right and I was wrong.

So this situation was one of those times, I asked her what she would have done if there had been a policeman around. And like usual, she had an excuse for why what she did was right because they were not going the speed limit and slower traffic is supposed to be on the right. She said she wasn't being sneaky so what she did wasn't wrong.

I for years never knew what benefit I got from these childhood experiences until I worked with one of my Coaches and we were uncovering things about my personality and skill sets and working through some of my childhood trauma experiences.

It was through this work that I realized how I got the skill to see things from different perspectives and ask the tough questions in tense situations.

I realized the 20 Years I had experience in this environment is what prepared me to work with doctors, insurance companies, business owners, and yes, even employees.

I knew deep in my heart this is what to this day gives me the ability to write hard things on my blog and share things here on Facebook.

It is the reason I get asked to confront someone and bring to their attention the truth when nobody else will.

The experience of dealing with ridicule, demeaning comments, humiliation, manipulation, control, shame, guilt, abuse, condemnation, even with the deep fear I had in my heart and mind, is what has given me the ability to help those in the same spot.

I couldn't be who I am today without this life's experiences.

Today, when I share my sassy voice, I may still do it shaking all over, but I do it anyway because I know I am called to. I may at times have fear of loosing friends because I have lost 2 very close girlfriends in a span of 2 Years, but I know deep in my heart that those that operate from a space of love will want to work out a relationship and see things through different perspectives will, even if we walk away with different beliefs because love never ever fails. I know that when I am focused on the vision and my purpose, I do not have to have fear of the outcome of sharing my voice or that what I write will come back to bite me. When I apply myself to truth and love, desiring to make a ripple effect in the world like in one drop of water, all that matters is the one person my words can help to breakthrough their limiting beliefs and feelings that are keeping them stuck in fear, shame, guilt and regret. I know that my true mission is to encourage, support and inspire them to be courageous, generous and loving. My previous experiences sharing my voice give me confidence knowing that I can do it again today, no matter the ridicule, demeaning comments, humiliation, manipulation, control, shame, guilt, abuse, condemnation, and fear others try to put on me each of us has a choice in how we share in each others lives and what we do to build each other up.

Have you ever stopped to look at your childhood experiences and see how they have shaped your life today? Have you ever gotten a clear picture of how God is using those horrible things for good in your life? If you haven't, I would love to encourage you to do this.
#TheSassyVoice #TheLifeOfMisty #MyStory #ShareYourVoice #YouMatter #RippleEffect #ADifferentPerspective #LifeHappensForYouNotToYou