Monday, April 20, 2015

what is the goal of online dating?

I did online dating for 6 months last year.  The response and amount of messages sent to me was really intense.  I might get a handful of messages on any given day or I just might be overwhelmed with as many as 65 messages in one day!  I had no idea this many people participated in such a platform.  Yet the longer I did it, the more I realized how vast the amount of people online are!

And just as vast as the number of people online, were the ways I got messages.  90 percent of guys simply said something simple like "Hi!"  Maybe with a smiley face.  Or "You are really cute!"  Or some generic question like "Hey, how are you?"  Very few guys actually took the time to write something of significance, to write a paragraph about themselves, something either about what they do for work and things they enjoy in life, to create more of an introduction, something to establish and create a connection, build a foundation of a relationship.  A few just said check out my profile and message me back if you are interested.  Some guys simply had no class and were all out in your face just hitting on you making it clear that building a relationship was not their focus.

I purposed to respond to each and every single guy that messaged me.  Intentionally.  With class.  With my personality.  Being open, authentic, genuine, loving and courageous.  Asking questions to create a dialogue.  Being firm in my boundaries.  Not allowing myself to be put down or belittled.  However, I simply wanted to leave a mark on them they would remember.  My goal was to achieve this in every way possible and grow me in the interim and face my fears of men and dating, to learn more deeply about relationships.  And maybe even create some guy friends in the process.

There are people who have met online and gotten married and had successful relationships and marriages.  There are people who met alone and haven't achieved successful relationships or marriages.  There are people who think that an online presence is fake, unrealistic, and living behind a mask.  There are others who approach this as just another form to meet people and have another type of method to create a connection and approach a dating relationship.  There are people who think this is scary and risky beyond words.

So I would ask:

  • Is meeting online going to decide whether your marriage is successful or not?
  • Is meeting offline going to decide whether your marriage is successful or not?
  • Is meeting online risky?
  • Is meeting offline risky?
  • Is an online presence fake, unrealistic, and living behind a mask?
  • Is an offline presence fake, unrealistic, and living behind a mask?

So which is it?

To answer that question, you must look at a two things.  

  1. What you have experienced.
  2. What you believe.

If all your experiences online, especially when it comes to any type of relationship, have been horrific, tragic, difficult, painful and unsuccessful, you are liable to believe that this method of dating will be exactly the same.

If all you have experienced is difficult dating relationships, you will believe online dating is exactly the same.

If you believe that any negative experience or challenge that you faced wasn't the results you wanted means it wasn't right or good, and therefore was wrong or bad, then you will believe this about online dating too.

In reality, it is your choice.  Whatever you want to experience, you will.  Whatever you want to believe, you will.  

You can choose to believe your previous experiences will always define your future experiences, or you can be open to something different, new and be receptive to different results.  You can choose to believe whatever you want.  But remember, not everyone has experienced the same things you have and won't have the same beliefs you do.

In the time that I did online dating, I didn't meet my prince.  But I met my goals with online dating and got what I was looking for.  

I faced my fears of men and dating.

I learned a lot about relationships.

made some great guy friends, all of which I am greatly thankful for!  Because a year ago I didn't have single guy friends that stayed in touch with me in my life.  

I consider my online dating experience to have been a huge success.  How about you?  Have you done online dating?  If so, what did you learn?  What feedback would you give someone else?

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

POEM: The Hidden Life Vision

Where is this life vision? Why is it so hidden from me? How can I find it when he seems so buried deep inside of me? Is it a new vocation? A new designed path? Does it include a man or is this not my path? Is it a chance to pursue the gifts of my past? Why does it elude me? And feel like it's an illusion? How do I recover a dream that seems lost? How does one see what ones called to do? Do you just discover it? Or somehow find clues? Do you just embark on the path in faith believing answers come in the first step? 

As a child, we naturally dream and live big, but as life happens to us, our paths many times are chosen for us. It is likely, our parents will deter us one way or another, church will teach us we can't have this or that, our learning will happen and beliefs will be made, and though we desire to pursue this great dream, the choices we want oh so elude us. 

Then life becomes all out of focus, like a fog, unable to clearly define the view in front if us. This is how we live, day in day out.  Today, we no longer believe in the ability to dream, to cultivate the dreams of our youth and follow this personal pursuit. We no longer feed the life deep inside, we somehow believe it was never inside us. The path becomes harder, to find on our own because the voices we hear are no longer our own. Those days we just dreamed, with all fear aside, to be someone great, the one we feel called from inside. To live in the clouds, where everything is possible, and our dreams always come true, like the stories we read and the ever after viewpoints we so easily believed, the desire now burns deep but remains out of view. 

The older we get, different choices we make, some out of fear, some out of fate, some come from thoughts we never thought we would make. Some out of desperation and a need for a new breath, some from the decisions that seem like regret, some from mistakes, and it threatens to become all we can take. Some yielding situations beyond our control, some create the journey that isn't our choice, some make an impact that that has long lasting effects, but not every moment is just golden in fact. 

The farther we go down the journey of life, we tend to get focused on all of the strife, and discouragement threatens to tear at us like a knife. The red carpet gets pulled out beneath us, the waves of doubt threaten to sink us, it's in these moments of life, we question and wonder the meaning of our life. The dream we lived for no longer exists, in comes the questions did we even ever have any gifts? The stronger we doubt, no longer believe, that we can and we are, worthy of all of our dreams. We can choose, we can be, a life giving vessel with purpose and a plan that is once again renewed in that child like dreamy land. Life has provided experiences and challenged our views, but God has determined the path we will choose. 

How does one see the life driven plan that God has designed all by his hand? How does one create this passion inside to be fully discovered and not run and hide? How does one obtain clarity and a new focus? Can one change ones thoughts and refocus? And discover the right path to the meaning and purpose, to believe in the choice to live out my calling?  The life, the one set deep within my heart, yet completely within my grasp? 

Who cares about reasons, people's words and problems, for I want to live an abundant life clearly focused. A life filled with love, a purpose and plan. An unmundane life, driven to experience every moment completely, designed with my friends and the things that complete me. Unique to just me, one filled with firsts, determined to be, in all areas of life, just perfect for me. To be called with a passion in all areas of life, filled with a heart to live out my life, with courage and inspiration in all that I do, that my paths and journey will support and encourage you. To live fully in the moment and choose the positive thoughts that create a new focus, for I have a calling that's never been noticed. A life lived above what I ever dreamed possible, a life in the dreams of my God given motives. To be someone I want, no matter the voices, with no reason to doubt, no people in focus, aside from all fear and words I have been told that I am not wanted, not worthy, don't matter and can't be someone who should live quite so driven and bold. To open my heart and search for the purpose that fills my life journey in a way in line with this heart felt purpose. 

Oh, what is my vision? What is my calling? What is my dream? How does one find ones mission in life? Where is my God given purpose? I know I will find it. The answers will come. For I am a woman of God and I have the power to overcome. I will pursue this with all my mind, body and soul, for out of it will develop the dreams of my heart!

Sunday, April 5, 2015

{resuming} my book writing

In my coaching/mentoring, I am working on my vision for myself. One of the things I have neglected the last few months, matters a lot to me. Writing. Both in blogging and in writing my first book. So, I am making changes and will be intentionally allotting time again for the purposing to get back to it. Writing my first book. My Story.

Today, I made a list of Book Titles for my book that intrigued me. I may pick one of these. I may create something new. Either way, I have started the dream of the title for my book.

I read through all that I had written. I added and tweaked portions to explain things better to the reader. I wrote more. In the end, I took my Book writing from 18,960 words to a grand total of 22,594. This is 3,634 words. Pretty impressive day!

I will continue to pursue my dream to write my story and publish my first book!!!

#FollowYourDreams #BeAnAuthor #ShareYourStory

Thursday, April 2, 2015

the fork of life

You are on your journey...to discover Gods will and plan for your life.  To live life to the fullest.  To embrace each and every opportunity along the way.

I am on my journey...to discover Gods will and plan for my life.  To live life to the fullest.  To embrace each and every opportunity along the way.

Your journey is leading you down a path.  A path that I may be with you partway on.  A path that you may be all alone on.  

My journey is leading me down a path.  A path that you may be with me partway on.  A path that I may be on all alone.

You will have forks in your road.

I will have forks in my road.

You will make choices that I would make.

I will make choices you would make.

You will make decisions I would not make.

I will make decisions you would not make.

Yet still, you and I will be on the path.  And both of our paths will have many forks.  But where will the forks of life take us?  Where will we end up?

As I reflected on this recently, I realized that the handle of the fork is the end.  It is where all paths come together.  So, either way, each path will lead to the final destination.  The end goal.  Heaven.  Where we will get to spend the rest of our life with God.  

Your spoke of the fork isn't close to mine, and mine isn't close to yours, but it gets connected.

Go live your path and remember...it's all part of the fork of life!

#EnjoyTheJourney #LiveIntentionally #EmbraceYourPath #BeCourageous

Monday, March 30, 2015

11 Lessons from One Year of Dating

Today marks One Year from my very first date.  A date that was an incredible first experience!!!  11 Hours being treated like a Queen.  Yet, this unplanned experience is the very thing that ended up having my coach challenge me to dig deeper and look into the reasons for my walls.  The pain that was behind them.  The beliefs I had about myself.  The negative feelings I had about men.  The fears that kept me from letting someone in my secret places of my heart, mind and life.

I did online dating April 2014 - October 2014.  Six months paid subscription to Christian Mingle, 3 months on Tinder (a free online app), and 2 months on OkCupid (another free online app).  I responded to each and every single guy that messaged me with the soul purpose to be different in the dating process and to leave an impression with each guy I had communication with.  The initial process was simply to work on me.  Get comfortable meeting guys alone.  Having discussions all over the map.  As I got used to the experience, I approached the experience differently.  After doing the process for about 3 months, I learned that I would like to have someone in my world.  I ended up having one exclusive relationship in that time.

I did two sessions of Speed Dating, one in November 2014 and one on Valentine's Day February 2015.  If you love to have an evening out, get dressed up (or not if that isn't your thing), meet new people, and converse with a drink and maybe appetizers, then you will have a blast.  You get 5-10 minutes with each person.  This is enough time to get a basic feel for the person and whether you would want to go for coffee to get to know them more or not.  For me, both sessions were different experiences, yet complete fun!!!

I reactivated my online account with OkCupid for 2 months, January 2015 - March 2015, however I did nothing with the messages that came in.  Unlike last time when I responded to each and every one, I didn't respond at all this time.  I found my heart simply wasn't in it.  I decided it wasn't something I wanted to invest further time into filtering through and I deactivated my account.

I am grateful for the experiences this past year...they have grown me in ways I could have never grown myself.  They have challenged me to face fears that were deeply ingrained in my thoughts, actions, beliefs, and motives.  

Today, I wanted to make a list of 11 things that I felt were life lessons I have learned from my 1 Year Experience of Dating.  Please remember, these come from my experiences and through my eyes, yours may have been different, but they were things that stand out to me as I reflect on my experiences.  

My One Year of Dating has revealed:

  • Men have a story, but very few are really willing to share it.  The ones that do, become great guy friends.  The ones that don't is usually because a previous relationship shut them out so harshly, or told them it was nothing, or simply didn't want to hear it.  Either way, by showing them you truly care they generally will open up.  By inquiring about their world and staying connected you demonstrate that their story is important to you.  They will eventually share things they have never told anyone.  
  • Men have deep fears that they wish woman knew and they didn't have to share for you to understand them.  Yet once they do, they tend to brush them off like they are nothing for fear you will reject them, make fun of them, or think less of them for not being perceived as more strong.  Confirming you understand and accept them for who they are will get them to reflect on why their fears have such a hold on their life and maybe they just might be willing to face them in a way they never have before.
  • There is nothing better than getting a text message that says: Good Morning Beautiful!!!
  • Having someone in your life that you get the opportunity to be in touch with every day, is a meaningful experience.  It brings value to life.  You can have lots and lots and lots of friends, but being special to one person is a unique experience that brings out the best [and the worst] in someone.
  • A man that takes the time to truly get to know you, without you trying to have him do so, will truly make you feel like someone special, like a lady that is worth a million bucks! 
  • You have to hold to what you believe are appropriate boundaries no matter what someone says to you, thinks of you, believes about you, or does to belittle you.  In the end, the decisions you make will be between you and God, though they will impact them, they are yours and only you are the one who will live with the choices long term.
  • The more you focus on enjoying the dating journey and don't approach it with expectations, the more you find it fun.  It simply is another relationship, just a way more personal one.  
  • There will be challenges in communication styles, love languages, preferences, beliefs, but the more authentic you are in the whole process, the more you will filter out those who are not compatible.  Don't be afraid to be you.  On all levels.  You should not have to change who you are for someone else.  Though everyone tells you this, you are the only one who can sift through the situations and your reactions to them to figure out what this looks like.  But the more you love you for you and search for the one who will love you for who you are, the easier it becomes to release them and let them go when they don't.  Holding onto something that isn't a fit only creates friction and internal quandaries.  Anticipate each relationship and person you meet to develop you to a deeper level of trust, vulnerability and change you.  This is what happens when you let someone in your world.
  • With steady communication (email, text, phone calls, Skype), it only takes a few days to know if you have any general common ground to get to know each other beyond the surface small talk.  After some time of chatting like this, you will know if the two of you have a connection and mutual interests.  It doesn't take me more than one date to know if there is a connection, attraction and if I want to spend more time with you.  It generally only takes a few weeks to have a general overview of their life, what they are looking for in a relationship, what the differences are that may cause some work to understand or resolve, and the like.  In my experience this is about 2-3 weeks.  At this point, you will know if someone has potential at developing a deeper relationship.  If you have made it past this stage, I find it generally only takes a few more weeks, in my experience about 5-6 total, to know you are compatible and a match and if both parties have a foundation to build a relationship on and if both are willing to put the effort into the relationship.  If the issues presenting themselves at this point don't change, they probably won't.
  • Everyone will have an opinion on how you date, whether online dating is bad or good, how many guys you talk to at the same time, what types of formats you use to communicate, whether the girl or the guy should initiate communication and dates, when is too soon to see someone in person, when you should cut the relationship off, when you should move to being exclusive, if a guy can just be friends with you, if you are even ready to date...and more.  The more you ask yourself the hard questions and find your own answers through prayer and seeking Gods will in your life [just as you do all other decisions], the more you will realize that the answers come and that everyone will have an opinion as they view your life through their lens and their own personal experiences.  The more you keep this in focus and use the comments, feedback, and insight as additional guidance but not necessarily the written plan God has for your journey, the more you won't let the differences they bring up to oppose you stop you from pursuing the dating process as is fit for you.  Yes, many people will challenge you.  Disagree with you.  Tell you you are wrong.  They will do their best to pull you back from facing your fears, your dreams, your desires, and your vision that you have for your life.  They will believe they have better wisdom than you.  Yet, if you will appreciate having them in your life as a tool to help sort out the answers, knowing these people are not the answer, but they can be used to influence you, you will be letting these situations have their perfect work.  When it is tested against God's ways, then and only then, will you be following Gods will for your life.
  • You must have your mind, your eyes and your heart aligned as you evaluate a dating prospect.  At any point these three things get out of alignment, you will face an internal war that will make your relationship challenging.  If you embrace this internal war and seek to question and find the answers, you will not be ignoring red stop signs, debating yellow flags, or flying through green lights.  You will find the truth.  After soul searching the answers do not define the truth you need to see, and peace doesn't come, then you have your answer and you will need to make decisions based on this or face the consequences that come from ignoring them.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2015 Goals & Resolutions

Each Year, I create my list of Goals / Resolutions / Dreams / Intentions / Visions for both personal and business goals, but the last 6 years I started publishing them on my blog also.  If you wish to review the previous years, you can do so by clicking on these links: 2009 Goals & Resolutions2010 Goals & Resolutions, 2011 Goals & Resolutions2012 Goals & Resolutions2013 Goals & Resolutions and 2014 Goals & Resolutions.  Some years I have up to 10 goals and multiple categories.  I find more strength and focus when I limit it to just a few.  In 2013, I condensed both my personal goals and business goals to 4.  In 2014, at the recommendation of Michael Hyatt and taking part in his course Best Year Ever, I did not have any categories and limited it to a total of 7 goals.  This year, I am going to do this again, but with 10 goals this time, along with creating a theme for the year at the end as a reflection of the results of my year!


2015 goals
#1  I have met some great people through Dave Ramsey's EntreLeadership Master Series that I attended November 2009, through my LiveBIG Workshops that I attended January 2014 & again in March 2014, and some great gals on my 1st cruise November 2014.  I have decided that many of these friendships I want to develop deeper and to have more memories with them then just these occasions we have had together.  I will make a list of 12 people and go see one of them each month of the year for a long 3-4 Day Weekend.  I initially was intimidated by the cost this will be as if not planned in advance, it will not be cheap, but I have decided the investment into these relationships means something to me and I wish to make that a priority this year.  This is over and above the 4 vacations I want to take, in which I will take some time to spend with Girl Friends and will do at least one "staycation" since I have never done this.
#2  I will finish writing my first book, about my life/my story, to be ready to publish by January 2016; I will resume activities that help me achieve this as I did last year by participating in Jeff Goins My 500 Words Challenge and will spend 30 minutes every day writing; I will get headshots done for Author Website by June 2015; and I will have www.mistygilbert.com live by November 2015

#3  After spending time breaking away and unplugging on my vacations this year, being on a cruise, staying in hotels, making a focus to enjoy watching the sunrise each morning in Texas, enjoying God's creation around the country...I find that I live life too complicated and with more in it than I feel it needs to have to be enjoyed.  I want less in my life.  I am going to aggressively condense my belongings, more than I have to date.  I want my life to be lived spent with friends, eating good food, getting great sleep, enjoying awesome exercise, living simply in my house.  I will start by pretending to stage my house to sell it so that I can work through the excess and know what needs to be cut out.  I will work on one section, collection, closet, room at a time.  I will spend at minimum 15 minutes every day working on this project.

#4  I will live life intentionally with the focus to run wild, live free, and love strong.  I want everything to follow the THINK Method: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind.  


#5  I will continue to experience things I have never done as 1st's and add them to my Bucket List.  Goal is to do one a month.

#6  I will pay my house off by December 2015, one year and three months earlier than my original goal.  This means I will reduce my eating out expenditures to do so.

#7  I will spend 30 minutes three times a week dreaming and creating a vision of the life I want to create for myself both personally and in business as it relates to relationships, finances, career, health and God.  I will continue coaching to assist me with these goals and work through limiting beliefs.

#8  It is my goal to have someone special to spend my life with and as a part of that plan I will begin a NEW savings account for a wedding fund called LoveOfMyDreamsFund and contribute $250.00 a month towards it to have $3000.00 at Year End.

#9  Watch one movie every week/weekend...because I have a long list of movies to see and the chill time is good for me.


#10  My goal is to read one book a month, beyond what is assigned to me through coaching.  


#RunWild #LiveFree #LoveStrong


What are your Goals / Resolutions / Dreams / Intentions / Visions for 2015?  Share with me...I would love to encourage, support and inspire you to live boldly, with love and grace.

#2015NewYear

YearInReview for 2014

As I reflect on 2014, my main goal was to focus on getting away from the mindset of having a list of boxes to check off, tasks to complete and to live in the moment.  Realize that I am enough. Everyday. Just as I am.

In reflection, I believe I accomplished that.  And if not completely, I sure made some great progress towards this.  This year was one of extreme transformational growth, on so many levels, and I am extremely grateful!!!  The results have been very impactful.

Here my friend, is a list of 2014 highlights:


  • Attended 2 LiveBIG Events, January 2014 and March 2014, that majorly rocked my world, impacted my life, changed my course, and affected the outcome.
  • Had my 1st Ski experience with a LiveBIG Friend at Park City in Salt Lake City, Utah.
  • I started sponsoring "my child", Kajal, through World Vision February 2014.
  • Cut my hair for the 1st time ever and donated 14.5" to Locks of Love March 2014.
  • Went on my 1st Date [yes ever, at age 37] on March 30th, 2014 when a guy from LiveBIG asked me out.
  • Enjoyed my 1st Beer: Blue Moon.
  • Participated in the LiveBIG Mastermind Coaching for 90 days with Gerald Rogers.
  • I did a 30 Day Video Challenge to myself to get past my fears of being on camera and what I had to say being recorded.
  • Went to California over Mother's Day Weekend and got reconnected with my Aunt Donna and Uncle Dana.
  • Took 4 vacations this year and completely unplugged in ways I have never done before...and YES, it was awesome!!!  [Gonna make this a yearly habit!]
  • Bought a Groupon and went and did my 1st Wake Boarding experience.
  • Completed 6 months of Online Dating, April 2014 - October 2014, [yes, dating for the first time in my life] as I committed to doing to my Transformational Life Coach!  Went out with 13 guys.
  • I got my 1st pair of shorts May 2014!
  • I went West Coast Swing Dancing for my 1st time in California June 2014.
  • I went on my 1st boat ride in Las Vegas over the July 4th Weekend!
  • I enjoyed getting to have Nova Lox Bagels for breakfast for my 1st time.
  • I went to my 1st Pool Party that including "mix swimming" over Labor Day.
  • I got to be a guest on the CharlaA Radio Show to share my story.
  • I got to see Christine Caine LIVE at a videoing of a show at Life Today.
  • I made a purpose to see the sunrise nearly every morning this spring and summer and got to watch some amazing Texas Scenary and beauty in God's Creation.
  • I got my 1st flowers from a date.
  • I donated more money then I ever have to charity efforts.
  • Went on my 1st Cruise for 5 days to the Bahamas!
  • Got to experience my 1st Snorkeling Expedition.
  • My book writing sort of came to a halt in the summer and I didn't meet my goal of having it completed and ready to be published by January 2015.
  • I got foundation repair work done on my house.
  • I got to be spoiled by the iBloom Team with a VIP Weekend Trip to Lexington, Kentucky which included massage, hair and makeup makeover, and a Photo Shoot of new photos that will be put on my website.
  • I had LASIK Surgery done.
  • I got to go see my 1st Cowboy's Game live on Thanksgiving Day!
  • The moments God showed up to give me a message in small ways like the license plate GREATFL in Las Vegas and GODS GUD in Fort Worth.
  • I became overwhelmed by the pressure of life and personal attacks from some friends as I made some changes in my life.  The result was I pulled back from writing so much on my blog and I actually took a few months off.  In the end, I wish I hadn't let others stop me from doing something I love.  Writing.  Sharing my world with you.  This will become a priority again in my life.
  • God's message for me this year to learn was: I no longer need to be a people pleaser.  My aim in life is to please God.  Nobody else.  Because I Am Enough. Doing things for other peoples approval and acceptance needs to be eliminated.  God was very purposeful in how he planted that memo, how he created and used things to help me see this dynamic in my life that needed to be rooted out, the lessons and exercises he gave me to create and live out a new pattern, with amazing experiences in how he allowed me to approach this belief full on, even to the point of using some very close friendships and people who have impacted my life and been in my world to achieve this.

May you reflect on 2014 with fond memories at all the challenges and victories you have experienced and may you be blessed as you put this volume on the shelf and start with a new page on the next one for 2015!

Thank YOU for being a part of my world!!!  The Courageous Journey continues...

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Quotes

Aim to have people positively transformed just by being in your sphere of influence.
- Dr. Wes Saade

Monday, December 29, 2014

do your best

You have days when it is challenging to even think of doing the next thing.  Let alone your best.  Yet, if you aren't trying to do your best, what are doing?  

You have challenges.  I have challenges.

You have things you don't think that you can get through.  I have things I don't think I can get through.

You have goals that come with more setbacks than wins.  I have goals that come with more setbacks then wins.

You have people fighting to tear you down. I have people fighting to tear me down.

You have come from somewhere and are going somewhere.  I have come from somewhere and am going somewhere.

The question is first, do you want to do your best?  [I do!]  I don't think most people would say they don't want to do their best.  But at the same time, they aren't putting in the effort to do their best.  They are only giving it half the effort.  Is half their best?  There may be times it is.  But if you know in your  heart you could do more, do better, then it is not your best.  You have to want to do your best.  Nobody else can make you.  If you do want to do your best, then how do you do your best?

Watch this 2 minute video by Coach Garrett after the Cowboy's win on Sunday, December 28th, 2014.  Be inspired to do your best!

You do your best regardless of circumstances.  - Coach Garrett


Do what?  Regardless?  No matter what?

Yes.

No matter the challenges.  No matter what you don't think you can get through.  No matter the goal.  No matter the setbacks.  No matter the wins.  No matter the people fighting to tear you down.  No matter where you came from. No matter where you are going.  No matter whatever circumstances you are facing.

You.must.do.your.best.

If your best needs to be cleaned up.  Clean it up.  If you have something to learn.  Learn it.  Stay focused.  Don't loose sight of what is important.  Be hungry.  Be ready to take on what is set before you.  Don't quit.  Have a killer instinct.  Know what you our next move is and do it.  Trust your gut.  Follow through with it.

The results will come, if you do your best.

Take one day.  One moment.  One task.  One challenge.  And do your best with it.

I needed these reminders at a time when I am facing challenges, setbacks and circumstances trying to overwhelm me.  Defeat me.  Make me give up.  

I wanted to share them with you. I want to encourage you [and me] to do your best!  Life is short.  Give it all you got. 

And Never.Never.Never.Quit.

‪#‎DoYourBest‬ ‪#‎OneDayAtATime‬ ‪#‎RegardlessOfCircumstances‬

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

What does Ephesians 4:29 mean?

I shared a post on Facebook yesterday and got some comments because I used the term "bad ass".  Not the typical language people have heard from me.  But is the term bad?  Inappropriate?  Awful?  Shameful?  Sin?  

This term is modern slang to mean flat out incredibly awesome!  Could I have said this instead of bad ass?  Indeed.  I sure could have.  There are generally at least two ways to say something.

The term I used may offend you.  Every time you get offended do you call someone out on it?  Was my comment and post meant to offend you?  No, that was't my goal.  Could it have been taken that way?  Evidently of late, much of what I say and write is.  Does.  Why, I am not really sure, but its hitting the nerve with some.

The term may mean something different to you.  Every time you have a different interpretation of something, do you focus on making sure someone sees it the way you do and setting them straight?  Or do you try to understand and see something from their perspective?  Even if it goes against what you believe?

You may believe that this term is bad language.  Do you have grace to allow someone else bad language, either way?

You may believe that Ephesians 4:29 means I am out of line.  Let's think about this.

Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. That way your good words will communicate grace to those who hear them.

- The Voice

What is a rotten word?  What is a fresh word?  What is bad language?  What are words that build each other up?  Is this passage just about bad language?  Or is it more than that?  Maybe not even about bad language?  If you believe someones language is bad, where does grace come in?

I haven't always had this perspective, but as I grow to learn to grow and live in love and grace, not by rules or in a box, I want to be open to more than one way of looking at something and understanding exactly what God is asking of me.  To give love and grace.  In all things.

I don't have the answers.  I do things all wrong.  But I know in my heart and believe God knows exactly what I want to accomplish in my life and that He will lead and guide me to achieve this on my courageous journey in my walk with Him.  When I am not in line with His vision for me, I trust He will show me.  Gently. Lovingly.  Without a need to point out all my faults.  He knows I know I have them.  I know I have them.  Without a need to shove me out.  Shoving someone out of your life only creates division, not a connection.  Without calling me out.  Calling someone out on something generally only makes one defensive and put up walls.  

I am learning this.  The hard way.  May I learn to remove all rotten words and create fresh words that communicate love and grace.  At all times.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Quotes

Behavior is linked to your perception of self-value. It's knowing who you are that will change your behavior. 
- Shawn Craig

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Dear Hives

Dear Hives,

You made your first appearance back in September 2014, which came out of nowhere.  You were horrific and created some deep physical, emotional, and yes, mental stress.  After my first episode with you that lasted three days, I ended up in the Urgent Care, trying to figure out what caused your extensive eruptions.  I was deeply and very much perplexed as to the root of the issue and what would cause you to attack me like you did.  After some contemplation, I could only pinpoint it to one of two or maybe three things:  
Maybe Fried Oysters?  
Maybe an Immune Booster in a Smoothie King drink?  
Maybe Pest Control sprayed at a clients office?  

I thought with time, if I repeated any one of these things, then I would know the exact cause of what has created you to react as you have with me.  I have not attempted any one of these three things again, yet to my surprise, you have continued to reappear and overtake my body.  Lasting generally, three to five days.  Little did I know that the process to figure this out would become so difficult and that these episodes would be more horrific than I could have ever imagined anything to be.

I am writing today to share with you dear hives, some of my thoughts and feelings.  I want you to understand how I feel.

I want you to know that I understand that you are displaying outcomes exactly as you should.  You are letting me know loud and clear that something doesn't jive with you and that it needs attention.  I am listening.  I want to understand you.  I want you to know that  I am sorry.  I want and will do all I can to figure out what is triggering you so that you can have peace as much as I want peace.  I want you to know that you are not abnormal.  You are doing exactly what you were designed to do.  

Yes, you are making me feel as if I am absolutely crazy.  And if not completely crazy yet, that I will be  in that zone very soon.  I have strongly felt that there was something deeply desperately wrong with me, but I realize there isn't.  This is normal.  It is how you respond to what is triggering you.  I will give you space to be you and will accept you.  I will not fight you any more.  I will be patient with you.  I will do my best to gently soothe you when you even while you are yet creating blisters and welts, all over my body, that sting, itch and are hot to the touch.  I will do my best to not aggravate you on any level.  I want to ask you to be patient with me as I figure out what is causing you to do your normal thing.  I am not here to create opposition. I am in full support of your method.  Let's just please work together so we can achieve the results we both want.

Desiring to Help You All I can,


Misty

Saturday, December 20, 2014

the break in blogging...

You know I love to blog.  I love to write.  I enjoy dialogue.  Asking Questions.  Thinking about things.  Sharing my heart.  Sharing in your journey.

I took a break in blogging...

...at least publicly.  In that I blogged and wrote in my journal, but either posted the posts privately or just saved the posts and didn't publish them at all.

Why you might ask?

For several reasons.  

First, I have been working on some deep roots and things from my childhood, upbringing, training, concepts of truth, readdressing my spiritual journey, learning and relearning things, and the intense growth process has been at times very challenging and hard to share with you.  I have felt I needed to create some space.  I needed some time to process without putting it all out there.  

Second, when I launched into the online dating scene, it became difficult to manage all the things I was involved in both in my personal life and business life, and I had to cut some of them out.  Blogging got reduced.  Time management had to be redistributed.  

Third, I have needed to process some of the criticism and negative feedback that I have gotten over how much I choose, consciously, to share with you about my Courageous  Journey.  I have had to face the people pleasing tendencies that I have had from a different perspective and address them.

Was the move to not blog a good thing?  Did it help, do more good or did it create more alarm when you didn't hear from me?  Was my decision to not publish because I feared what you thought of me or because I really needed space?  Did I left my feelings of being so overwhelmed at times that I couldn't post prevent me from sharing when I should have shared?  

Those are good questions and I am not sure that I have the complete answer.  Either way, I did what I felt I should at the time.

The removal of layers to this onion is still in process.  As it is in each of our lives.  The growth in my personal life has been very horrific this year.  The challenges at times have been more than I thought I would face or were possible in certain phases of this journey.  The hurt that I have experienced in a handful of situations has been devastating.  However, I am committed to continuing this process, no matter how difficult it is and no matter the results.  I know there will continue to be people who will agree or disagree with my choices, my decisions, my actions, my journey, who judge me, are unable to love me or show support, based on their perceptions of me, my life and their beliefs of what is truth.  I choose to give them space to be who they need to be.  My goal is not to create any more pain in their life and if being a part of mine, seeing my journey hurts you, I understand you moving away from me.

In the midst of this, my desire to encourage, love, support and inspire you continues.  It is the core of who I am and who I want to be.  

I pray that the work I have done in my life is evident to you and the truth of everything you learn about me can only help you to love me more, not create hate, distrust or resentment towards me.

With that in mind, I want you to know that I plan to publish some back posts.  You may or may not read them.  You may or may not want to follow my journey.  Either way, I love you just the same.  My blog will not be written for approval or based on your approval.  It will be The Life Of Misty with God right by my side as I focus on continuing to Be Courageous, Be Generous and Be Loving!

give life your best

Approach life and everything in it with a determination to intentionally give it your best! When you know in your heart that you have truly done your best, you do not feel guilt over the results. You do not beat yourself up. You do not question the results. Because the truth is you couldn't have done more or better when you do your best.
Stay focused. Stay engaged. Stay determined. Give life your best!
‪#‎BeCourageous‬ ‪#‎BeGenerous‬ ‪#‎BeLoving‬ ‪#‎EnjoyEveryMoment‬‪#‎BeYourBest‬

Monday, December 15, 2014

Quotes

Many of us were taught to put ourselves last, and as a consequence we attracted feelings of being unworthy and undeserving. As those feelings lodged within us, we continued to attract more life situations that had us feel more unworthy and not enough. You must change that thinking.

—Rhonda Byrne

Monday, December 8, 2014

Monday, December 1, 2014

Quotes

Surround yourself with people who make you hungry for life, touch your heart, and nourish your soul.
 - unknown

Monday, November 24, 2014

Saturday, November 22, 2014

an evening with friends

Love to entertain!!! 
Pork Chops, Mashed Potatoes, Mixed Fresh Vegetables, Bacon Wrapped JalapeƱos! 
Red Wine. 
Peach Cobbler. 
Awwwhhhhh... — withClark Tarwater and Heather Tarwater.

the plate!...

the beverage of choice tonight...

the dessert...