Sometimes things happen in life that create a domino affect on us. In these moments, we get to choose whether we will be angry (with ourselves or others) or whether we will accept it, as one of my old coworkers used to say: It is what it is, (to which I would add) and it ain't what it ain't!, Learning to do what is the next best thing to move forward is sometimes the only option you have. Sitting in a zone of guilt, shame, regret or fear won't move you forward.
Here is an example of what I mean with a situation I am currently working through.
I get compounds made at a pharmacy locally, and last May they changed the color of the capsules on one of my medications from orange to white. Since I already had another medication that was white, I didn't pay attention to this nor was there any label alerting me to the change. I am a creature of habit and put my medications in a order by how I take them through the day. Orange was taken in the morning and white at night. One day, weeks later, as I was taking my evening dosage, I became fixated on the the white pill in my hand and thought, this really does seem extra small, I wonder why I hadn't notice it before. I decided to inspect the bottle to see if they had given me the right dosage and not a lesser amount which would have affected the size, and to my horror, I was not taking the right medication at all at night. The medication I actually was taking, was a dosage due to be taken in the morning and a different one at night; hence why I hadn't been sleeping for a good 6 weeks and was feeling out of wack in many regards. I was tackling my Minimalist Project with some great energy because I was taking twice the normal dosage I should have been. I wondered how long I had been doing this, so I dumped all the pills out on the bed and counted my 90 Day supply and then subtracted that number from what the bottle was filled with to learn I had been doing this for 47 Days!!!
I was shocked. How could I have been so completely unaware of the change in medication on something I take every day? How did I not pay attention to the labeling on the bottle and miss this? How come when I started feeling off didn't I think to look at my dosage before now?
I could not undue what I did for 47 Days. I obviously could stop adding to it by making it 48 Days, but nothing could be done to change this mistake. The fact of the matter was, it was going to take awhile to get my body back on track and the reactions I was having and side effects from not having the right medications and too much of another medication, causing a ripple effect of issues within my body. Sometimes mistakes like this are costly mistakes. For me, it was costly on my health, sleep and my hormones. Those that knew me, knew something was off.
Yet, being angry with myself wasn't going go solve anything. Being frustrated with my pharmacy for not giving me notice that they changed my label would only be putting blame on them when it is just as much my responsibility to keep up with. Having regret for making this mistake for 47 days wasn't going to help me love and appreciate myself. Having fear over how long it was going to take to get me back on track wasn't going to help my body heal.
The fact of the matter is simple, I am still paying the price for this mistake. Some days it makes me cry. Some days it makes me frustrated. Some days it makes me concerned that I will get back to where I want to be. Some days it makes me research stuff more to see what else I can do to get on track. But every single day I have a choice to ask myself: What can you do to move forward and to love yourself?
My doctor is kind. He knows what I am going through. He has told me to be patient and that it is going to take a several months to get me where I need to be He has given me 4 strict instructions:
My body has to have sleep and it can't be sacrificed.
My body doesn't need any stress.
My body must control it's blood sugars.
My body must reduce it's inflammation.
When I violate any one of these, I suffer. I was out late last night at a DFW Singles Event. I got to bed 2 hours later then normal. This makes it hard on me. I had a beer last night, which isn't good for keeping down inflammation or things turning into sugar. This means I suffer.
Sometimes we have to remind ourselves why we keep the strict schedule we keep and do the things we do because there are other things that are more important in the vision we have for our lives. Sometimes we have to intentionally say No to something so we can say Yes to something else that is more important.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. Some that have ramifications for a long period of time. Regardless, I have to remind myself that I can create the life I want and I get to choose my results. It does truly all start with me.
Cheers to another day to start with a clean slate and to release the bad choices to the wind.
#TheSassyVoice #ThePowerOfChoice #SimpleDisciplines #TakeCareOfYou
