hon·or/ˈɒnər/
noun
1. honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions: a man of honor.
2. a source of credit or distinction: to be an honor to one's family.
3. high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: to be held in honor.
4. such respect manifested: a memorial in honor of the dead.
5. high public esteem; fame; glory: He has earned his position of honor.
If you follow my blog, you would have read the post about the true meaning of James 1:27 here. My Uncle called me Thursday afternoon about 2pmCST. He wanted to share a few thoughts with me about his post and let me know that he didn't have me in mind when he wrote that. He said that he wasn't posting that verse in relation to the situation with my Mom, the verse had been on his heart and mind because of the situation but not in relationship to it and he was wanting to share some thoughts with others and get feedback. He said that over the last few years that he has gotten to know me since we reconnected January 2009, he feels that I have dishonored my Mom. He said he hoped calling me wasn't adding to my stress and that I had time to talk. If truth be told, it was horrible timing. I was out of town at a clients office and had just gotten out of a meeting and I had a full day of things yet to accomplish, I was totally feeling jam packed against the clock to get all that needed to be done before I left there and had to rush home to do laundry, pack and leave very early for the airport. I didn't have 68 minutes to spend talking about this sort of thing, especially the day before my Dad's Memorial. Really? I stopped and prayed for the Lord to give me patience and help me know what to say. My thoughts weren't on this subject and I didn't feel prepared to share the things I thought and felt. I let him know that I have tried to exercise patience with the fact that I don't believe he has enough information or details as to the facts nor does he understand the whole situation to judge the situation accordingly. I told him that I would be willing to share any details of my past and childhood to help him understand even though it is hard to do. I let him know that I didn't believe he didn't have me and others in mind because of comments he had made to others and the timing of the thought being posted. I informed him that I had learned recently that he had called others (my uncle, my cousin, friends) to share concern that as a daughter, he didn't believe I was doing my part to help my Mom and that he had shared with others that he didn't feel "the christian's" were doing their part for my Mom. I told him that I was greatly disappointed that he would not call me and ask me his questions and share with me his concerns and that he would go to others for the details. I told him that I didn't believe this was approriate for him to discuss it with others like he had. He broke down crying and stated that he hoped this would not come between us. I told him that I didn't want it to either. I asked him for an example of something that he felt that I did or said that was dishonoring to my Mom so that I could evalute it as I truly would like to evaluate what I said, how it was taken, what my intentions were and ask the Lord for wisdom in understanding it if I was wrong. That has never been my goal. I want to be truthful and factual about what I experienced, but I am not trying to be dishonoring. He said he would have to go back through my posts on Facebook to find one. To me, if he truly felt that I had been dishonoring to my Mom, he would have had an example to give me. I told him that I will honor my Mom with the knowledge and fact that she is my Mom and taught me a lot of good skills, but I will not honor her controling attitude or support her conduct as I don't believe it is honoring before God. I looked up the word honor and dishonor on www.dictionary.com and shared them with him. We parted ways with the understanding that we didn't see the situation the same and that he was taking my Mom at her word and didn't have reports from other people on other things she was doing and saying.
dis·hon·or/dɪsˈɒnər/
noun
1. lack or loss of honor; disgraceful or dishonest character or conduct.
2. disgrace; ignominy; shame: His arrest brought dishonor to his family.
3. an indignity; insult: to do someone a dishonor.
4. a cause of shame or disgrace: He is a dishonor to his family.
5. Commerce . failure or refusal of the drawee or intended acceptor of a bill of exchange or note to accept it or, if it is accepted, to pay and retire it.
As my friend, I ask you...do you believe that I have been dishonoring to my Mom? How do you show respect & honor to someone whom you don't believe is right?
