Wednesday, December 21, 2016

yes, rejection hurts...but choose love

When I attended the Growth Summit Conference in September 2016 in San Jose, one of the things that Brendon Burchard - Live. Love. Matter. said is that we have all faced rejection. Some of us more then others. He went on to share that studies show that most people have been rejected by one or two people, usually though most have been by a few people, like a handful that could be counted on one hand. He said the studies show that the most was generally an average of 7.

Brendon then asked each of us: With 7 Billion people in the world, will you let 7 people stop you from pursuing your life? You dreams? Your vision? Your goals? Your purpose given to you by God? Will you let 7 people keep you from having love, joy, peace, happiness, gratitude, courage and hope in your life?

I wish I could say that my "list" was only 7 people of close people connected to me in my life. I wish I could say that I haven't experienced rejection, so many times, by people that say they love me and will always love me no matter what. By people who say that I was their only close friend and they were so thankful for my part in their life. By people who were the executor of my will but resigned and asked me to never contact them again. By people who were signers on my bank accounts. By people who I did volunteer work work with. By people I donated to their charity organizations to make a greater impact in the world. By people who brought me into this world. By people who were blood family. By people who wanted to be stand in family.

Like me, you may have people that remove themselves from being the a part of your life because they don't agree with how you live your life or won't accept that you wish to transform your framework and remove all negativity and replace it with positivity. You will have people who say they believe in love and being loving in all ways and through all things, but when it comes down to a direct application in a relationship between you and them, they won't be able to love. They won't love you for you. They may expect you to be someone you are not and try to mold you into the friend they want you to be. They may say that they will be there forever through all circumstances and situations, but when the tough shit happens, they will back away, walk out, leave you or give you the silent treatment. They may actually do more and attack you, slap you in the face, stab you in the back, stomp all over you, do everything to take you completely out. They may tear down everything you thought you had in your connection and the connection you have with others. They may choose to get offended over something you said that was from your own beliefs, perceptions, and feelings. They may not accept: I am sorry, I still love you, I still believe in you, I still want to work this out, I believe in healing, love and grace. They may prefer to hold onto the grudge and not forgive or give grace. They may be people who take someone else's word for what you said or did, unwilling to find out the facts or the truth directly from you, or at minimum ask questions to put pieces together. They may not be willing to discuss how it hurt you or how it hurt them. They may not ever try to see it from your perspective. They may never talk it out, resolve the conflict and just shut you out.

Yes, there are people who will come into your life and say they love you but when life gets hard, they don't, they won't, they can't. You will have people who act like love matters, but when they get to choose love, they ignore the calling. These are the facts. And yes, rejection hurts deeply, very deep. But what will you focus on? All those who have rejected you? Or the ones that need you, want you, and appreciate you? All those that don't walk the walk but talk the talk? Or find the ones that do both? All those that won't love? Or the ones that do?

These situations are similar to the Pharisees in the Bible. They said one thing but their actions said something different. We all get to choose whether we will be a Pharisee or we will be a Jesus Follower.

Misunderstandings happen. We do or say things that offend people. We hurt others. We aren't always kind. We aren't always patient. We don't always see another's perspective. We sometimes feel we can't forgive and hold a grudge. We sometimes feel that working things out isn't an option and walking away is easier. But we still always have a choice to love and repair a relationship.

The truth is: Love is loud. Love is action. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't rejection. Love isn't hurtful. Love continues through the painful things that happens and seeks to restore. Love is hope. Love will never end. Love communicates. Love doesn't defend with creating walls disguised as boundaries. Love heals all things.

Will you choose to love on purpose today? Will you create a connection? Will you show love in one small way? Will you live out your life by both walking and talking about love?
#LoveOnPurpose #ChooseLove #HaveLove #LoveOneAnother#LifeLessons #RejectionHurts