Tuesday, January 10, 2017

some days, extra grace is required

Last Thursday, I posted on Facebook an "EGR Post".  Today, I want to explain my request for prayers so you can get a little bit of information about what has happening behind the scenes when I asked for prayer, and to help share a part of my life and the things I face daily in my business and things I have dealt with in my career for the last 20 Years. It will be a little long, I ask you to read it and reflect on your own life situations.
Last Thursday, I had a meeting with client that I have worked with for 5 Years, to discuss some issues with all appropriate parties with the goal to make our working situation better and for us to have a year without some of the stresses I continue to have to deal with. My clients response to these requests were twofold: One, could I please be a little more like Jesus and give grace? Two, that I am very difficult to work with because I am so stressed and don't make jokes. Three, they are paying me so it doesn't matter what I have to do when I am there, I am paid regardless.
This client is right, I am frequently stressed, and honestly, nearly always stressed when I work with them. Should I let my Clients actions keep me in a state of frustration, stress or anxiety on any level? No. Do I? Sometimes, more often then I wish, yes I do. Am I trying to change and be different? Yes. I am. I work with my Coaches and Mentors and read books on how to live through challenges and not let them take me down and out or affect my day. Do I never make jokes? No, I do, but being a High D on a DISC Profile Test, this isn't my strength or my focus. When I am in a work mode, I am very focused and driven. My employees will tell you: There is no fluff about Misty, she is black and white, all work. Would I be more fun if I wasn't stressed? Yes, we all are. There isn't one of us who is fun when we are stressed. I am not sure you can be stressed and fun at the same time, its two energies that would not co-exist well.
The truth is, I take my Clients situations to heart. I go all in and give my all in effort, time, energy, input, ideas, prayers and aim to give, above and beyond what my contract says I will do because I want to serve and help. I want them to have a thriving, successful, and business platforms that are abounding on all levels. I want them to have accurate data and to pass an IRS Audit without fail. I don't want them to have to face things my other clients have had to face. I want them to have a clear conscience when they go to sleep at night, knowing that they are doing the things they need to be doing to create the business and life that they want. I want them to live the principals they verbally tell me they agree to and with.
This year my word is simplicity and it is affecting everything I am putting my time and energy into. But no matter how much I work on me, there are some dynamics to my industry that are always stressful. Why?
Because the fact of the situation is this: This client, like others, maybe even you, are always trying to do things that do not follow IRS rules and regulations. Their goal is to spend money out of their business for personal reasons and yet claim it as a business expense. This is done to lower their tax liability and show less on a Profit & Loss Report. They blame Cash Flow as a reason they can't take a Salary, yet draw money out of their business whenever they want to on top of the personal expenses. [FYI: They are allowed to do Draws whenever they want to, this isn't illegal, however it is fraud to not take a paycheck and pay yourself what you would pay someone else to do your role]. They do not take a reasonable salary as the IRS says they need to do for someone in their role, which makes them owe significant taxes at Year End, and they have never set aside 25% of this for taxes and they are always frustrated every year when we file the previous years taxes. They get angry at me for this and yet they do not follow my recommendations year after year after year to avoid these consequences.
Is this my problem? No, it isn't. I've done my job to educate, instruct, teach and share the information. Do I make it my problem? I do. Do I cause myself stress, frustration, and difficulties for not letting my client simply reap what they sow and leaving it at that? Yes, I do. Does seeing this client live like this create peace? No, it creates stress. Do I need to just give it to Jesus? I do. I really do.
At this meeting, I asked to work with each others strengths. I asked to work with each others personality styles. I asked to plan ahead and have quarterly meetings like we have talked about for 5 Years. I asked to actually live within a budget that we discuss and try to create each January. I asked to have the list of items I leave each month provided for me when I come the next month. I asked to make changes to how we do things. I asked to be committed to following IRS rules and regulations. I asked to truly be Dave Ramsey fans like this client says they are. I asked to have mutual conversations more often to discuss issues and things that aren't working.
The result of this meeting is that my client walked out of the restaurant and left me and the assistant sitting there. And they never came back in. I was supposed to leave this meeting and go work in their office on last months accounting data.
Many of you think I have lots of courage. Many of you think I make communication look so easy. Many of you feel that my life is always so positive and that I never have to deal with negativity or drama. Many of you think I do not have fears. Many of you think lots of things...I am sharing with you today so you understand that I have my own situations to deal with and yet, my goal is to live what I encourage you to do.
I was shaking all over. I had to take 3 deep breaths to just try to gain composure. I had to say silent prayers and just think Jesus, Jesus, Jesus I need you. After the assistant and I wrapped up the meeting because it was clear we were not resuming, I left the table and went to the ladies room and cried. I went to my car and called a Prayer Warrior Friend and asked for them to pray with me right now, as my voice shook, my heart race and my mind dealt with fears, what if I lose this clients business and additional revenue? I asked Jesus to give me strength because I did not want to go to this clients office and work. I didn't want the stress nor did I want the drama. I felt my feelings and gave them space. I allowed myself to dread going to the office.
But I went anyways and kept my contract and commitment. I did my job even though my heart was not in it. I did what I knew Jesus wanted me to do. I went. I dropped my phone going into his office and shattered the camera screen. I posted to Facebook: 
EGR Day = extra grace required to make it through the day...I need you Jesus! Please bring a miracle. I have faith. I believe in your power.

I decided to release the tension from this meeting. I decided to focus on what was the next best thing I could do. I decided to not let the uncertainty of the moment stop me from being true to me, true to truth, true to the laws of the land. I decided to let my God work this problem out. I know he will!!! And for now, I still wait while He works behind the scenes to make this problem a spec in my journey.
Thank YOU for being my Friend. Thank YOU for praying for me on this day and for this situation. Thank YOU for letting me share my life with you. Thank YOU for believing in me when I am frustrated, stressed, and upset. Thank YOU for helping me grow through another layer of my own personal stuff. Thank YOU for loving me for who I am and not forcing me to be someone I am not. Thank YOU Jesus for being my strength.
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