Wednesday, February 15, 2017

life lessons from a Litigation Attorney

In a week from today, I will be in court playing a key role in a deposition for a client. Last week I met with my Litigation Attorney who will be representing me and guiding me in this all day grueling process. I want to share with you a few lessons I have applied from this session, our conversation, and journaling that I have done since this has presented itself a few weeks ago. I want to share because maybe you can apply these principals to whatever you have going on in your life...because we all have battles, even if they are not intense legal ones.

In depositions, the goal of the party asking the questions is to disarm you. To make you squirm. To try to back you in a corner. To make you feel like the odd man out. Remembering that this is their goal will help you in how you respond. Ultimately, they want to get you to fight, even if that means drawing you in so you come across the table with all claws out.  However, if you take this route, you are going to feed their case. Don't. Keep an outward calm spirit even if internally you do not feel it.

When we are faced with legal battles, all of us want to defend what we know the truth to be. We want to prove our points and many times will go to great lengths to achieve this. We ultimately need to remember that the truth cannot be hid. We cannot make someone else accept the truth. Whatever they are looking for, they will dig up, they will find, they will conjure up and make up along the way, and they will create their own story. But the truth, at the core, remains the truth. Don't feel the need to fight the truth. Put the truth out on the table and leave it there.

The best position we can take in these situations, is to remove the emotion from the questions. Just look at what was the question? What did they just ask me? When we know that the other party is scheming with lies and doing everything in their power to take someone out, this can be hard to do. We are invested in the situation. We are attached to the outcome. And many times, we play a vital role and have more information then anyone. No matter the results or outcome, if we stay focused on showing up, giving responses that are truthful, succinct, and literal, these are the best techniques to answer the questions.

Ultimately, for all that I am spending for a Litigation Attorney, it can be a bit disheartening to know that he will really just be my wing man, someone sitting next to me, sort of like my shadow. He cannot answer my questions for me. He cannot tell me how to answer the questions. He can interject when they ask a question that violates the client attorney privilege, but no question is off the table. When I learned this, I honestly wanted to just cry. This seems so unfair. But when did life ever get labeled as being fair? When did things ever only get dished out to you when you were ready for them? When did you ever grow when life was easy? When did you ever learn lessons when everything came together with the answers, the protection, the information, and the understanding you wanted?

As a planner, someone who wants to be ready for this long 9 hour day of pressure and intensity, I can only prepare my spirit. I can ask my Prayer Warriors to be praying for me. That I have wisdom, discretion, boldness, humility and confidence. That I do not let them get into my head with their verbal attacks. That I do not allow them to tear at my beautiful heart. That I keep my focus on the real battle. That I word my responses appropriately. That I remember who is fighting this battle for me, who is not seen in the room, but can be seen through me. That all I have to do is take His my arrow, my stones, my tools with me and let Him help me know when to use them.

In every situation in life, there is a balance of when to try to defend with the truth and when you should let the facts speak for themselves. When to fight and when to walk away. When to be all in and when to get out. When to hang on and when to let go. When to press in and when to press out. When to be for and when to be against.

This will be a challenging day. The moments in our lives that squeeze us hard are the ones that grow us the most when we allow it to.

I ask that if you have space in your prayer list for this situation, that you pray for me as I do the diligent ground work over the next week. But ultimately, next Wednesday, your love and support for me as I represent my client, as a key player with information, that his attorneys that will be in the room, my attorney and the prosecuting attorneys come away with a clear picture that she is a woman with strength, dignity and who has no fear. 
#TheSassyVoice #LifeLessons #Strength #Dignity #NoFear #MyMountainInFrontOfMe #GodIsWithMe