Thursday, August 29, 2013

Day 5 in Franklin

The detailed plan for today was NONE.  The agenda was to become refreshed.  To refocus on becoming aligned within my Spirit from the work done the last two days.

I slept in...late, very late, later than I dreamed imaginable. Long past morning time for breakfast, or even a late breakfast.  I woke up still feeling exhausted, feeling the need to write what was on my heart and share my Day 2 of Coaching, but between the internet or blogger, or both, I couldn't seem to achieve it.  I finally decided to call it quits and go and tour Downtown Franklin.  

In getting ready, I quickly realized how starved I absolutely was.  It is really not good for me to go that long without food and if I don't fix it fast, I pay consequences for hours.  I remembered I had my leftover squid salad in the refrig in my room...but no spoon or fork. Searching around to see if I could possibly locate something to use, I got creative and used the two stir sticks in the room to be used for coffee as my wimpy chopsticks!  This was my breakfast...and it was delicious!!! and it was very soon that I was feeling much better.

In the midst, of this I had to deal with sibling drama being hurled at me.  Accusations.  Anger.  Frustration.  Blame.  Condemnation.  Guilt.  More Guilt.  Verbal abuse.  I tried to respond kindly and ask for space, but the response was only more of the same.  I felt my world changing, my day being torn apart, and once again and I knew this was not healthy for me.  

I needed space.  I needed quiet.  Why wasn't no good enough?  Because I wasn't making it be good enough.  You will give me space.  You will let me unplug from my computer, my phone, people, life, to do my coaching and spend time reflecting.  You will not control me.  You won't instill your negative thinking on me, however I will choose to be positive in spite of the things you are saying.  I realize what you are doing is not being loving towards me.  I can't and won't meet your expectations.  You will be kind.  You will be respectful.  I will not let you talk to me like this.  

Reminders from my coaching came through as I tried to deal with this: 
An abuser wants to control you...wants to break down the Misty that doesn't love her, the Misty that will beat herself down, the Misty that isn't able to receive compliments, the Misty that doesn't feel good enough... 
An abusers goal is to wear you down emotionally so you give in.

My sibling was succeeding.  I was frustrated.  The boundaries need to be set.  When was I going to change?  Now.  Right now.  I said it, it wasn't received, I hung up.  

Dear God!  I need your love.  I need your strength.  I need you to help me keep the vision.  I need you to show me my purpose.  I need to remember to fight the lies with truth.

Lyrics from some of my favorite songs pounded my heart.  My head.  The depths of my soul.  They bring life in the midst of fears.  Pain.  Chaos.

Not knowing what I wanted to do with my day, I decided to wander in my car and tour some housing districts.  I found some really cute places that I took pictures of.  From there I found a place to park for 4 hours for free and I meandered the shops on Main Street in Downtown Franklin.  I shopped two blocks of shops, both sides of the street and got two really cute items to add to my casa back in Burleson.  One of the shops that I spent a lot of time in was called The Iron Gate.  Love the decor of this place!!! A little bit of shabby chic, a little bit of modern, a little bit of classic, a little bit of french grey, and a fair amount of vintage.  What style is this I asked the shop owners?  They stated that it doesn't have a theme or name that they are aware of, its a mix.  And the mix is gorgeous!!!  I got the sign at one of the first few shops that I went in, called HeyDay.  They had cute gifts, candles, pictures, household decor, books, etc.  I loved the message on this sign and felt it would be a good reminder for me from the time spent in my Life Plan Coaching and the rest of my week spent in Franklin.  The very last shop I went in was called Philanthropy.  The experience I had in this shop was absolutely amazing!!! I will be doing a full post on this alone because it was unbelieveable and what this shop is doing is downright incredible.

From there I ate at a place called Gray's, it had just opened a few weeks ago and was getting great reviews.  It is expected to excel very quickly because of the service, the food, the uniqueness of the place.  I think I may have to go back for lunch tomorrow!


Gray's - Downtown Franklin

purchases downtown Franklin

two items to remember this part of my journey...not the best lighting here in the hotel,
I
 will have to show you what they look like in my cool house!

I got this pillow at HeyDay at the Historical District in Franklin, TN today while I strolled through the shops...
Pillow: Thank you God for blessing me more than I deserve


I got this sign at Philanthropy, a store of Fashion and Compassion.  
Everything changed the day they figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in life.


I could have spent hours in here.  They have an incredible mission...little words here and there, a place for you to write your prayers out for people to pray for you.  Wow!!!  I am amazed at how God works.  This shop was right where I parked three hours previously, but was the last one I went into before closing.  An accident???  No way!!!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Day 4 in Franklin

We were to begin Day 2 at 8.30am.  I arrived for Day 2, 15 minutes late.  I was struggling with lots of thoughts and feelings from the 1st Day of coaching and dragging physically from mental and emotional exhaustion.  Never having experienced something like this before, I had no expectations...even vaguely.

We chatted a bit at the kitchen bar over stuff.  Chris was amazed at the comments on my Facebook post, the number of supporters, the number of people who were praying for my time, the number of people who are involved in my life.  We reviewed them together.  We enjoyed a cup of French Press coffee and then headed back to the theatre room for the second part.

Before we began, Chris prayed for our time, prayed for him to help me, for me to learn what I needed to, praised God for his part in our lives and the love he has for each of us, and more.

We then launched in and reviewed the nuggets of things that impacted me, along with the lessons I learned from the day before.


Module 6
We created and reviewed a list of the Talent Heart Assessment.  What are your:
  • passions
  • needs
  • drives
  • obsessions
  • characteristics
  • qualities
  • yearnings
  • hopes (or expectations)
  • accomplishments
What is the message from these?
For Me:  My focus is to be generous and encouraging.  I'm driven to be different then my family.  I love turning chaos into clarity.  I desire a deeper relationship with God.  I have a drive to be generous and encouraging to make a difference in the lives of every person my life touches.


Module 7
We reviewed Thinking Wave Links:
In a Scale of 1-10, we rated how I relate to what feels the most comfortable to me with:
  • Risk
  • Change
  • Variables
  • Process
  • Ambiguity
  • Opportunity
1 being the least Risk and 10 being the most Risk.  You add these numbers up, divide them by 6 and then you are placed on a chart.  The chart has 5 categories:  Grinders, Minders, Keepers, Finders and Conceivers. This scale is done both personally and then in business.  You can't be off more than two points or you will crash and burn within 18 months if you stay there.  This was an intriguing exercise to me. 

For Me:  I am happy doing what I do, with some change, knocking things out, establishing processes.  I don't have to try to do new things, but enjoy some variety, but would burn out if my routine was exactly the same for 40 years.  I handle a lot of information and tasks, am happy to be alone, but really like having teams to work with.  I understand the need to lead and can do it well, but am not a natural born leader.


Module 8
We reviewed Internal Wiring:
What are your drivers vs what are your comfort zones?


Module 9
We created and reviewed My Replenishment Cycle:
When you are replenished, you are strong, face fears, you can do anything.  When you aren't replenished, you are worn down, tired, everything becomes difficult to do.

For Me:  
  • Alone Time/Pool Time
  • Prayer
  • Blogging
  • Sleep
  • Goals
  • Vacation

Module 10
We created and reviewed My Core Values:
Core Values are the things that you use to make decisions and filters.
For Me:
  • God
  • Love
  • Excellence
  • Strength
  • Discipline
  • Meaning
[These can change as your life changes].


Module 11
We brainstormed and made a list of nouns and verbs of items that "I exist because/to":

These things make My Life Purpose (why I exist).  
For Me: I exist to fulfill God's purpose by love, generosity, and encouragement.

These things create My Life Vision (where I am headed).  
For Me:  I'll be focused on God and impacting others with my story.

These things are My Life Strategies (how I will get there).  
For Me:  I will accept my story.  I will understand what and why to my story.  I will learn to share my story.  I will create a new belief system.  I will overwrite lies with truth.  I will have a deeper focus on God.  I will write a book.  

From this list, we made a list of things that fuel me (give me energy, keep me going, make me thrive) and things that are brake pedals (things that disable you completely, make you stop or shut you down, and thus create utter difficulty to move forward).  The goal is to increase the gas pedal and manage the brake.  The brake list is something you want to stay off of.  

This exercise was an incredible one for me!  Very eye opening.


Module 12
We then made a Life Perspective Filter:
This list contained a list of: What needs Action?  We took my list of 16 things and made it into 4.


Module 13
We then created a W.I.N.'s Wheel (What's Important Now):
This was made in the Life Domains:  Personal, Family, Career, Church and Community.


Module 14
We then created a Life Initiatives Profile:
What are the keys, objectives, next steps, start date and today's status of them [red, yellow or green].

For Me:  We found that I have a Big Time Life Change! Yet none of these changes are that difficult.


Module 15
We then created a Life Plan Accountability.  The list consists of:
  • Partner(s) = people who can handle all the information, all the details, keep you accountable, people who are smart, value you, and are willing to be that support to you
  • Mentor(s) = people who pour wisdom into you
  • Friend(s) = people who you like to be around that can be a friend to you [but are not considered partners and whom you may not share the same level of details with]
  • Protege(s) = people you pour into

Module 16
We created and reviewed specific Life Plan Learning's from my coaching session.  I had a list of 15 items.

I had 7 pages of notes from today's session.  There is a lot to absorb and work through both personally and in business.  I am someone who is a deep processor and Chris stated it will take time for me to put all this into perspective.

At the end of the session, I got to do a Video Testimonial for Chris with Melissa, his assistant. This will be used on his website soon along with other people who have done the LifePlan.  Chris invited me to stay for dinner and be apart of the shoot, which was really fun!!!  Chris made the yummiest Salmon and Kale Salad along with a Cab Wine.  I got to hang out with some of Chris' team and have a good conversation with Debbie, Chris' wife that I also met at EntreLeadership in 2009, out on the patio later!  I will share this in another post later.

I was the last one to leave at 9.30pm!  Before I left, I asked Chris a few more questions and we reviewed a few key points.  I then asked him to pray with me and Debbie before I headed out.

Love how God worked out all the details of these two days.  Loved seeing Him through this process.  He is amazing!!!

song~ all for you


(It's all for You)
Woo
(It's all for You)
Woo, yeah
It's all for You

I've the seen the world
None of it compares to You
I can't deny it, without You
I won't make it through, through

'Cause I see You, You see me
More than what these people see
You looked at the worst in me
And still loved me, still love me

You can change the night to day
Make my problems fade away
Fixed the mess that I have made
(All for You)


CHORUS:
What can I say, what can I do
To show You that I'm all for You?
There's nothing to hide, there's nothing to prove
To show You that I'm all for You
I'm all for You
I'm all for You

I've spoken many words
They've sounded so absurd
To think I gave You part of me
When all is what You're worth

And now I'm standing here
Waiting to face all my fears
To show You I belong to You and nothing else compares

I see You, You see me
More than what these people see
You looked at the worst in me
And still loved me, still love me

You can change the night to day
Make my problems fade away
Fixed the mess that I have made


CHORUS:
What can I say, what can I do
To show You that I'm all for You?
There's nothing to hide, there's nothing to prove
To show You that I'm all for You
I'm all for You, I'm all for You

I know You in the dark
When my heart is blind and searching
Rip me all apart, then back together like a surgeon
Kinda like a single mom 'cause she was always working
Just to make the better life for me so I ain't hurting

Now I'm back to business
So first I'll be Your witness
Your loves got me tripping
[Incomprehensible...and no lyric site that I checked can make it out either :)]
Brand new life I'm living
Enjoying every minute
You gave everything for me
And now it's time I give my all for You


CHORUS:
What can I say, what can I do
To show You that I'm all for You?
There's nothing to hide, there's nothing to prove
To show You that I'm all for You
I'm all for You, I'm all for You
I'm all for You
It's all for You

Tony Evans: a woman who fears the Lord

A woman who fears the Lord will receive the praise that is due her. Her works and the products of her hands will give her the recognition and validation that is hers alone. When a woman understands who she is and how God made her – when she pursues her destiny in light of how God created her to function – what she does will produce remarkable results. This is because it will be in line with God’s will. What too many women frequently do is base their decisions on trying to please others, or trying to earn acceptance, appreciation, or a sense of worth from their decisions, looks or actions. Yet God never said that you would receive praise for trying to please others. He said that a woman who fears Him would receive the praise that is due her.

The basis of how a kingdom woman functions stems out of her fear of God. How she prioritizes her home and family, organizes her life, makes decisions, chooses investments, and develops her skills all arise from her efforts to promote the good of those around her and advance God’s kingdom. If it is rooted in anything else, it will lead to weariness and busyness rather than fruitfulness and abundance.


- Tony Evans

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Day 3 in Franklin

Today was the day for my first session of Life Plan Coaching with Chris LoCurto.

I left the hotel at 7.30am, and arrived a few minutes before 8am, the time I was supposed to be there.  The drive was gorgeous   Chris fixed me breakfast, chorizo eggs and coffee.  Chris then prayed over breakfast.  He said:  "You God, knew thousands of years ago that Misty would be here today on her journey.  We praise you for your part in our lives.  Help us to know it's all about God's love.  Grace.  Mercy."

I wish I had been taking notes when he prayed...he said more...God heard.  My heart was touched.  I wish I could remember the prayer.

He shared the plan for the day...starting with a diagram of how we face problems...Eastern Culture vs Western Culture.  He said the session would not be information for solutions, it will likely be an emotional day...to the point that I may not want to come back.  He asked me to remember to push past that if thats the way I felt.

[I feel I can take a lot and so I thoroughly didn't anticipate this being the way I would feel at the end of the day.  Exhausted?  Yes.  But to a point that I wouldn't come back?  No.  Not me.]

The view out of his place is spectacular!!!  I could have stared at it all day.

We headed upstairs to the theater room, in front of the white board to begin the LifePlan Coaching Session.  Chris stated by the end of the day, I would hate the question he would ask of me the most, which would be "Why?"  

[He was right.  It got downright irritating.]

Module 1
We started with: "What is the primary thing you want to get out of this? ...the next 2 days? ...in each of these areas?"
  • Primary Goal
  • Personal Goal
  • Family Goal
  • Career Goal
  • Church Goal
  • Community Goal
I normally am very, very, very open on my blog.  Normally I post anything and everything, even if you the reader doesn't understand, even if you don't relate, even if you don't agree.  I pray that I can share what I should, but because of the nature of what I faced today and the vulnerability of some of my feelings and how it all relates to my story, I am guarded.  I am working through extreme fear.  I pray you will be patient with me, I pray that you will hang with me and realize I will share when and how I can, but at the moment, most of the specifics about me and my nuggets will be kept on my notes.

Module 2
Chris asked:
  1. What is right?
  2. What is wrong?
  3. What is confused?
  4. What is missing?
I answered the questions.  Chris asked, Why?  I answered with more answers.  Chris asked, Why?  I answered more in depth yet, and Chris asked, Why?  

Chris reminded me to understand my personality style.  To be comfortable with it.  The things discovered in today's session will not be to create victims.  Not to create monsters.  The purpose is to point out what happened and why.

Chris told me:  "God wants you to surrender.  You are having a hard time giving this up."
[Tears.  The hot kind of tears that are big globs flowing down you face.  God, what's wrong with me??? I have never cried so much in my flipping life like I have this year!]  He told me:  "You are over analyzing...put away anything that holds you back. There are no answers that are going to be a mistake.  Trust me.  If you can't trust me, trust God."

Module 3
We reviewed Turning Points in my life.  I had 11 of them [though there are probably more].

Chris made an assessment of me compared to others he has done LifePlans with:
"You see yourself and understand yourself more than most."  [This blew me away.  I don't see myself this way.]

We intellectually understand our lives but not fully until we emotionally understand. 

Preach the gospel at all times, when necessary use words.

You have lived under pressure.  Under control.  Under guilt.  By your parents.  By the church.  By your clients.  [More gut wrenching tears.]

God is in the middle of ALL that happened.  [I know this theoretically just wish I knew this in reality at the time I was facing these things in my life, like I do now.]

Module 4
We created Turning Points Profile of the review of my life.  We then created themes of these periods.  

Module 5a and Module 5b
I then made a list of Turning Points Learned from this process, which consisted of a list of 30 items.  [At dinner Chris told me that the most he has ever had someone do was 26, I exceeded that.]

Chris asked:  What are you afraid of?  God wants us to surrender to take it away from us. Until you do, he has to work around those things.  Listen.  Focus.  Allow God to speak to you.

You have been blamed, criticized, and condemned for your decisions, beliefs, and feelings your entire life.

At this point in the session, I was frustrated.  Very frustrated.  I felt Chris was frustrated with me.  I told Chris so.  We talked more.  I learned I was feeling a fear of disappointing him, which is far from the truth, and even if I had, it wouldn't matter.  Who has a right to be disappointed by you?  Nobody!  Can you disappoint God?  When are you going to quit caring?  Why do you care?

You can't fix the business until you fix yourself.

My Homework ~ Write a Letter to God to include"
F = Family or Future
R = Reputation
M = Money
P = Possessions
T = Time
H = Health

[I took 6 pages of notes.  I am emotionally and mentally exhausted.  I don't feel I can think through my thoughts.  I need alone time with God.  I need time spent quietly in prayer.]  

I left at 7pm, came to the hotel, got a glass of wine, headed to the pool to swim for 30 minutes, then to my room for a really hot shower to then sit down and write this blog post.  

I have not done my homework.  I am so drained, I don't see how I can write a letter to God.  What would I say?  Whether I do or don't do my homework, I don't feel good enough.  So I am headed to bed...I will get up early before Day 2 and work through this.

Monday, August 26, 2013

reflections in preparation for my coaching...



I wrote down notes.

I made a list of questions.

I made a list of things I struggle with.

I contemplated items to use as examples.

I started getting jitters.  Jitters in anticipation of the time.  Jitters wondering if I will remember everything I want to cover.  Jitters in wondering if I have spent enough time in preparation.  Jitters knowing I have life changing moments ahead of me!

I texted my prayer warriors...all 21 of them.  

I posted it on Facebook.  

I headed to the Wxyz Bar to get a class of red wine.  Between the two, prayers and wine, I know the jitters will diminish!!!  

I am ready...God is with me...he has a plan...here we go!!!

Heather's Story

I met Heather at the EntreLeadership Master Series I attended in Cancun Mexico November 2009.  Heather was one of Dave Ramsey's 10 Team Members that he brought there with him.  She was not one of the ones that I had a meal with or had any coaching sessions with, but we did chat some. 

When I returned, we connected on Facebook.  As usual with all my Facebook friends, I use it to interact and get to know them.  I like posts and I comment.  Some people are easier to do this with than others, because some post stuff for you to like and comment on!  

Heather and I haven't gotten to know each other real well, until the last year.  It started after a post about receiving my Dad's letter of apology November 2012.  She reached out again in June after one of my posts regarding counseling, after being a bit worried about me.  From there, the interaction has continued and she has opened up and shared more of her life with me...she has faced some horrific experiences also and can relate to what I am going through.  She has sent me a few private messages on  Facebook simply to encourage me in my journey and let me know that I can do this...and she has done just that.  She has been a HUGE encouragement!!! 

Heather and I met today over the lunch hour at Starbucks.  She only had a 45 minute lunch break, so it wasn't a real long time together, and of course it flew by!!!  We spent like 3 minutes [okay, that might be an exaggeration but it was very little of the time we had together] talking frivolous stuff, discussing her leaving The Lampo Group earlier this year, and then she launched in and started sharing with me more of her story.  I am not sure why I left my notebook in my car, I could have used it to write down the nuggets she poured out at me.  

She shared with me that she has been working through her story for the last 5 years.  She shared how God used certain people in her life and how things fell into line with the same Beth Moore Bible Study, Breaking Free, that I did last September 2012 - December 2012 with a group of ladies.  She shared how she had been given the book 4 years previously, but had never read it.  We both exclaimed how God's timing is always perfect and he knows what we need at the time we need it.  He is amazing!!!  She stated that she would not trade the years of pain for the 5 minutes of freedom.  She also shared how everyone told her that her issues were with God, and if she would just get that right, all the other stuff would go away or fall into place.  But in reality, God knew that she had to work through her circumstances first for her to learn the truth about him.

I have done my best to recap the nuggets she gave me from memory, but still feel like I am missing one or two.  I have a great memory, but even then, trying to remember all these things sometimes can be really tough.  Your mind starts wandering to absorb what you are hearing, to match it up to your own circumstances, to reflect and ponder on the nuggets you are hearing.

  • God will Break You Down and Tear You Apart but he will always Redeem and Restore you.  [For her, she states the first part happens one year and the second part happens the next year, consistently has.]
  • The hardest concept to grasp in stories like ours is that our stories matter.  We must believe that they do, even if we only believe it matters to God!
  • Go back to your earliest memory of that feeling and work forward.  Even if you can't remember the details or all of it, work with the feelings it brings.  [If she only knew how much I wish I couldn't remember or how much I do remember!]
  • People that can't accept your story in all likelihood somehow it has touched their life too personally and they aren't willing to face it.  Find people who will share their story with you, people who will be open and honest, people who want to hear your story.
  • The more you share your story, the more empowered you become.
  • You will always have to work at matching the lies in your head with truth.  It get's easier, but takes focused determination to learn truth.
  • Many people will not be able to relate to your utter dependence on God, just to be able to breath, literally.  [This made me tear up and break down right in front of her...she was so sweet and gave me a tissue...she needed to go, but didn't feel she could leave me like that...our time was limited, but it was rich!!! My God wanted me to hear what she had to say, our time was all part of my courageous journey and working through telling my story!]
It is amazing to me, that though Heather knows very little details of my story, how much she relates...

Thank You Heather for your part in my journey...you have blessed me!

Day 2 in Franklin

Better luck at sleeping in...love hotels with room darkening shades to perfect the sleeping experience!  

Went to the left today for my walk and boy did I get some leg workout!!!  I did a full hour walk and jog over several inclines.  If it would only benefit the rear end would I be happy, instead of only affecting my calves.  Hahahahahahah!  I know I have made great strides at this the past few years, but only by my extreme dedicated effort to my daily walking routine.


Used my $5 voucher from a second day in opting into the "green choice hanger".  Got a 20oz cold bottle of refreshing water and black cherry greek yogurt [not a fan of black cherry flavors, but it was my only option in this style of yogurt].


I participate in a EntreLeadership Facebook Group, along with other attendees that have done the EntreLeadership Master Series.  Leigh [I will leave off her last name for privacy sake] is the EntreLeadership Liaison and posts frequently to the page giving us updates, asking questions, and interacting.  She posted a link last week for an event that was held this last Friday online for an EntreLeadership Reunion of Q&A's for Master Series Alumni only.  I wanted to participate, but was booked all day with clients and since the notice was not far enough in advance for me to block the time and plan, I was only able to "like" the post.  I engage in the forum as often as I can.  Leigh sent me a private message hoping that I would be able to join them.  I responded after arriving in TN, letting her know that I hoped they had another one soon and that it would be in advance enough for me to plan and participate.  I went on to let her know that I was in town and that I was going to be coming over to take the tour of Financial Peace Plaza.  She responded enthusiastically that if I would let her know when I was coming, she would give me a personal tour.  Awwwhhhhh, what a sweetheart!  



me and Leigh 
me standing against the wall where people write their debt free statements, after screaming "I'm Debt Free" live on the Dave Ramsey Show...pretty impressive!

[BTW:  I became debt free, other than my house, July 2009
would love to scream do to this when I am 100% debt free, hopefully in 3.5 more years]

Financial Peace Plaza signage in the lobby
I then had lunch with Heather.  

Heather was one of the Dave Ramsey Team that I met when I attended EntreLeadership Master Series in Cancun Mexico November 2009.  We connected on Facebook and have stayed in touch some, though I have largely gotten to know her personally much more the last year or so.  When I had made plans to come to Franklin, I reached out asking if we could do dinner, she responded that she was pretty booked and might be able to do lunch.  I let her know if she didn't have the time, that I understood, but wanted to see her if possible.  We made plans to meet at Starbucks today and have 45 minutes together (she doesn't get a full hour for lunch).  The time with her was absolutely amazing and another God Moment in my courageous journey.  I will have to share the details in a post all of its own or this one will be a nightmare and you will never finish reading it.  :)  I regret that I did not get a picture of the two of us together to share with you...but hopefully I will have a second chance of that later in my trip.

From there, I decided I needed some more sushi, I didn't get my fix yesterday.  The place I went to was called Basil Asian Bistro and their presentation was amazing!!!

a lobster roll with spicy mayo sauce...and yes, that is a hollowed out lobster tail!
delicious squid salad
just check out the details of the straw wrapper!!!

I spent the afternoon swimming for about 30 minutes and then laying in my favorite spot below listening to the music and chilling out.  I took a notebook with me to work on some thoughts in preparation for my coaching sessions that start tomorrow...and to read more of my book, but I did very little of that.  I felt the need to spend the majority of the time saying:  No, I am not gonna do anything, I am going to just relax...something I really don't know how to do very well, but am desperately trying to learn, so I must practice!  


relaxation at its finest!

The rest of my evening will be spent in prayer, blogging, and being refreshed for my time the next two days with Chris LoCurto.

Quotes

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Day 1 in Franklin

I set my alarm for 9am.  I wanted to try to "sleep in".  Hmmm...not much of a chance at that, body clock alarm up at 7am.  :) I decided not to fight it, but laid in bed, enjoying not having to get up, enjoying the chance to reflect, pray and have my bible reading in bed, in the quiet.  I read John 15 and Hebrews 12.

Got a few texts message from my brother.  

"Hello.  Been waiting for your letter.  After Dad has gone I do not want to talk much unless there is a need.  Everybody seems to be making my life difficult.  And once again I'm sorry I have a life.  Hope that you and who ever you are associating with are having a good time.  May God be with you.  If I am wrong I hurt.  If I am right I get persecuted. I have set my sights on calamity.  I have no other option.  Good day."

As hard as it was to read those words, it is harder to write them and share them with you.  Tried desperately to get him out of his funk.  I asked questions to try to get him to talk.  I told him that I loved him.  I told him that I know that he is depressed.  I told him that I would pray for him.  I gave him references to read [from just where I had been reading, John 15:5-8, amazing how God works, huh???]...I told him I wished I could see him and give him a hug.  So eHug!  

No response.  Or should I say, no favorable response or acknowledgement of what  I said.  Only a reply had I ever read Lamentations.

I knew I had to get moving and go for a walk or the interaction I had had with my brother would start a trend of some negative thoughts, emotions, and memories inside of me.  I needed to be proactive quickly to avoid that.

So I took to the Franklin sidewalks for my daily walk with worship music on Pandora!  I took out of the hotel parking and hung a right.  Learned there is a mall right behind us, and I walked the entire circumference.  Didn't feel this was enough, though it was about 35 minutes of walking, so I took a right at the main drag, which was Mallory Street.  Hmmmmmmm, my brain thought, where have I heard that street before?  I brushed it off, thinking I had merely imagined it, it was just a generic name, nothing I knew of in Franklin.  I walked a block, a then a few more blocks I continued to walk.  I was contemplating now how much further I should walk before I made the u-turn back because I knew that I needed to allow enough time to eat and get ready, and since I hadn't spent much time checking out my surroundings outside the hotel last night, I knew I needed to not assume something was right near the hotel, let alone something that hopefully was on my diet.  This is part of the problem with me not having made any plans ahead of time or researching anything out before hand.  I was truly flying by the seat of my pants, and this is not me!!!  

In the middle of contemplating all this, guess what I ran into on my walk? None other than THE DAVE RAMSEY Building!!! I then felt like a dumb blond.  No wonder I recognized this street name, but the city was Brentwood, not Franklin.  Awwwhhhhh.  It was truly so cool to see, even though most of the parking lot was empty.  I would like to go back later this week and do a tour of the inside.

The Dave Ramsey Building
front entrance
signage at the curb for the entrance into the parking lot

employee break area

Look at the details on this sign...what a way to treat employees! 
Most employers resent "maternity" leave and the consequences that that has to them on their business with staffing situations. 
Dave's lessons have great impact if you apply them. Loved seeing this detail of his business!
Got back to the hotel and grabbed me some food from the re:Fuel.  I had a $5 voucher because of my "green choice hanger" I opted to put out the night before.

In getting ready for my day, I realized I had not brought my hairdryer with me.  I know you say, why would you bother when the hotel has one.  Because without a diffuser, my hair is frizzy.  It's hard to explain, I consider it just plain ugly.  This is what I get for not running through my check list one last time as I always do in packing before I headed out.  I honestly had thought that everything was in my suitcase because I had just gotten home from a business trip the day before, so what could have been taken out.  Well, something important was.

In yesterday's post, you met Michael Easley, Dave Ramsey's Minister that was at the EntreLeadership Masters Series with me in 2009.  He gave a session one of the days from Psalm 101 and applied the principals to business and personal lives.  It was truly an incredible teaching lesson.  When I got home from that trip, I sent him a Thank You note for his contribution to our lives and a book as a Thank You.  He sent me a book to with a handwritten note.  After meeting him and him having made such an impact in my life then, I wanted to experience worshiping at Fellowship Bible Church in Brentwood, TN.  

As I approached the main entrance to the sanctuary, Mr. Easley was standing outside talking to a couple.  I waited, so excited to be able to tell him hello and give him a hug, that I stood there until they finished their conversation.  We chatted for a few minutes and shared in each others lives over connecting again.  He was so warm and friendly...hugged me three times.  I have thankfulness in my heart for being able to be there today and experience it in person here...I Thank God for all the people who have touched my life!!!!!!!

Photo: An awesome experience to be here!!! Memories of his part in my life in 2009 overwhelm me...more thankfulness in my heart for being able to come today and experience it in person here...I Thank God!!!!!!!!

After worship and the message, I walked the grounds took pictures of the fountain and pond and then tried to think about what I wanted to do.  I decided I was starved and needed lunch, but wanted something healthy.  I searched Google for some Sushi and found a place.  And guess what was in the shopping center?  A Target, yah for me...I could get a hairdryer with a diffuser!!!  I bought a few cards for some events coming up and headed back to the hotel.  I considered a nap, but decided to opt to head out to the pool because I could tell from my room that nobody was in it and wanted to make use of that.  I am not fond of swimming with bunches of people.  :)

Wouldn't you agree...doesn't this look inviting?  



It is!  The water was not cold, but not hot like a spa either, which also made the experience refreshing.

I spent the afternoon in this pool area, swam several laps and then curled up in this seating cozyed down with the music they had playing overhead and a book I brought with me that I bought at the Women of Faith Conference a month ago, The Hurt & The Healer by  Bart Millard and Andrew Farley...turned the cell phone off and disengaged from life and retreated to my own little world.

Nobody was here but me!!! It was blissfully sweet!




swan made from a towel
I actually got to see the hotel clerk assemble this...maybe I can try it when I have company the next time?  :)



I have enjoyed spending this time getting the blog up to date so you know what has been going on, but now that I have skipped dinner, I better head out...catch you tomorrow friends!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

headed out for a 10 day vacation

Yes, you heard me!  I booked a vacation.  Don't gasp.  I know its difficult to swallow and take a breath after that statement, because its unbelievable that I would do such a thing.  But you are going to have to believe me, because it is true!!! I booked a vacation...and it starts today.

Beyond just booking a vacation, in part of my resolutions made for this year to implement some new patterns and habits, I additionally made a commitment to myself that I would not work while I was away.  That is a loaded commitment.  Why?  Because I have felt the need to still tend to stuff related to work.  I thrive in my work.  I love my work.  I have felt that I really couldn't unplug and though I have always tried, my previous employers and now clients, know my faithfulness to take care of them and know that if they send me something to get done, it will get done.  There are times I have done portions of attempts at this well, but at some point on EVERY single supposed vacation break I have taken, I don't keep to that purpose.  I have promised myself this time will be different.  Though I expect this to be difficult and a challenge that I am going to have to be very focused about my commitment to, I am determined to do it for once.

I made plans a few months ago to do a Strategic Life Plan session with Chris LoCurto.  I learned of Chris when he was working at The Dave Ramsey organization.  I started following his blog and got to met Chris at EntreLeadership Master Series in November 2009.  For memories sake, here is a picture of us at dinner the 3rd night of the event:
L to R back row: Michael Easley [Pastor of Fellowship Bible Church in Brentwood, TN - Dave Ramsey's Church], can't remember the name of the guy between us, me, Debbie LoCurto, Chris Locurto
L to R front row: can't remember the name of the lady, Robin Suslick and Dale Suslick
[if you want more photos of this awesome experience...go check out the EntreLeadership Album on my personal Facebook page]


I am a planner.  A detailed planner.  However, with several things going on with clients and in my personal life, I felt I needed to really take a different approach.  I didn't book my hotel on Expedia until this past Monday, 5 days in advance.  I had three ideas of things I wanted to do, but have refused to make definite plans because I do not want to turn this into a project and todolist that must be checked off and completed by a certain time frame.  I feel I need to chill.  Completely chill.  So outside of booking my hotel and coaching session, I have no agenda.

I knew that the drive time was approximately 10 hours to Franklin, TN.  I knew that I couldn't be on the road too late at night or I would start my trip off on the wrong foot and have extreme complications with my Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome.  I aimed to leave at 9am, but as the week developed, knew I was going to have a really hard time accomplishing this because of the schedule of work.  I had a business trip Tuesday - Thursday, Friday, I was booked solid from 9am - 4.30pm with clients and then had my weekly acupuncture appointment to complete the week.  I needed to tend to the house, the pool, pay bills, get the car washed, vacuumed and fueled up, do laundry, wash dishes, pack, go by the bank and post office, and I wanted a pedicure.  Typically after each session of acupuncture [there are variables that can change this so I won't say always], I am very relaxed and want to sleep within 2-3 hours following my session.  I knew this was going to make it tough to do my tasks.  I decided all those things were going to get done and I would do my best to leave by 9am the next day, not stay up late the night before my trip and at the same time not leave too late in the day to delay my arrival.  As things ended up, I left the house today at 10.30am doing the bank run and post office on my way out of town.  [In hindsight, I should have packed not just for my business trip but for my vacation and that would have saved out on the stress at the end of the week.  I didn't, but that would be a good lesson to know and do for next time.]  I was on the road by 11am...headed town the highway, jamming to my Kari Jobe CD I bought at Woman of Faith, playing my favorite songs on repeat and then moving to the next one...I called a girlfriend from California and we talked almost an hour and a half.  I miss this chica and it was good to catch up in her world.  I saw her in February of this year, but we really haven't had a good little chat since.  I listed to the CD 3 times before I put in an audio book to listen too:  Good to Great by Jim Collins.

Photo: View from Honda Civic cockpit...gorgeous skies! Rocking this solo drive with worship music!!!
View from Honda Civic cockpit...gorgeous skies! Rocking this solo drive with worship music!!!
Here is the view passing through Memphis:
Photo: Passing thru......
Memphis, TN
I made it to my hotel at 9pm...this included two 15 minute stops for a stretch, bathroom and gas for my car.  I made really good time...and no, didn't exceed more than 10mph above the speed limit at any point in my journey in case you were going to give me a hard time about being a speedster.

This hotel is lovely!!!  The checkin process was smooth, the staff are nice, the sleek design and no fuss about things is calming, the endless amount of seating to sit and be cozy and lounge around, the layout that is not complicated or confusing, and the details all over this place intrigue me.  Yes, I am spending more than I do for Best Western each week at the only hotel in my clients city, but I also got an awesome deal on Expedia.  I would highly recommend Aloft Nashville - Cool Springs.

I got settled in my room and then decided to walk the grounds and check out the place. I took lots of pictures [which are still on my phone, I could do a whole post on just pictures.]  When you come into the hotel, the "lobby" is all one big open area that includes the seating spots in the section called the re:Mix, the W xyz which is the name of the bar that has some bites you can get, then snacks and food area called the re:Fuel, along with areas to use their computers or to plug in your own.  The hotel is 100% no smoking and they don't mean maybe.  After doing my tour, I felt like I wanted to hang out on Facebook for a bit and see the happenings of my friends...I have been deprived of Facebook this week.  When I do consulting and training sessions with clients for days at a time, I don't get much time to interact with people on my social media.  I was in the middle of this, all curled up on one of these cozy chairs, with my face in my phone, when I got asked to join this guy at playing pool.  I have no idea what my face looked like, but I am sure the incredulous look of "who me" was written all over it!  LOL!!!  I said, ummm, I have never played and hate to tell you this, but I don't know how.  I didn't move from my seat, pretty sure that he wouldn't want some dumb chic that can't play pool to bother trying to act like she can, but he didn't skip a beat and responded, well, sounds to me like a good opportunity to learn because it's not fun to play pool alone, it doesn't work too well that way.  I responded the only way I can learn is if you would be willing teach me.  He said, absolutely, come on.  


Learning to play pool is on my bucket list.  It has always looked to me like a game that had depended on strategy and skill of position and force to know how hard to hit the balls.  I got up and walked over to the pool table, in my mind wondering if he would really teach me.  He didn't waste any time proving to me he would.  He showed me how to hold my hands, how to hold the cue stick, what the purpose is of the cue ball, how to look at which balls are "yours", how to aim for the pockets, how to draw imaginary lines, where to look next, and how to strategize.  He did all this while carrying out the moves of playing the game.  I was impressed.  As things would go, my first ball to hit he said was a complicated one and he didn't give me much hope that I could get it in the pocket.  The honest thing is, he didn't realize who he was dealing with, I love a challenge and if you tell me I can't, I promise I will see if I can.  :)  Don't ask me why, I haven't figured that part out yet about myself.  My first hit, I got the ball in the pocket.  Wish I could say I kept up that winning streak but I didn't.  It didn't take long for him to learn that I was competitive.  Through the course of the game he asked a few questions and I kept my answers basic, not revealing much because you never know about people.  I didn't learn much about him other than his name, what he does for work, and that he has family here. ..all the things I asked.  We were nearly done with our first game when his friend arrived and he took off to hit the town.  I was left to finish the 3 remaining balls by myself.  But I can honestly say that I am thankful for Brad with Oracle who gave me a quick 30 minute lesson on playing pool...who knows when I will have a chance to practice the skill and perfect it further?  

Another bucket list check off!!!  ...and a great way to start a vacation with some fun!

However, it's another one of those times that I am grateful for my wedding band and my I Am Second bracelet.  You can't teach a girl how to play pool without seeing both!  And I mean that literally.  Your left hand is a key part of the game.    

Yes, God rules my world and it will touch yours too if you are apart of it, even for just 30 minutes!


I then got me a glass of Merlot at W xyz [the bar in the hotel] and spent some quiet time before bed in prayer over the week coming up...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Quotes

Money is just a tool.  Take care of your household, future, family tree, and other people
 - Dave Ramsey

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Story behind the Smile


This is the profile picture of me on my business website and canvas print in my home office.
Would you have known that this picture was taken the night after my brother attempted suicide for the 6th time? Would you have dreamed that the bags under my eyes come from tears of sorrow for the pain of life? Would you have known that I was determined to move forward with the creation and update of my website and would not back out of this appointment for anything? Would you dream that behind my smile is the fear of the unknown outcome of my brother’s life? No, you wouldn’t unless you were one of my close friends and knew what had happened.
The point of this blog post:
You never know what is going on in someone’s life…you never know what is being hidden behind their smile. Take time to make their day, you have no clue what battle they are fighting!
Give them a smile, a smile is the prettiest thing you can wear!

[This post is a reprint of The Story behind the Smile posted today at www.medicalaccountsolutions.com/blog...
I thought my personal friends might enjoy the post too as the thought is not just a business related thought, it applies to all relationships.  If you follow my business blog and this is a duplicate post for you, I apologize.] 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

song ~ these things take time

These Things Take TimeSanctus Real

I wanna know why pain makes me strongerI wanna know why good men dieWhy am I so afraid of the darkBut I stray from the light?
I wanna know why You gave me eyesWhen faith is how I seeAnd tell me is it easier to doubtOr harder to believe?
Oh, there's so many questions stirring in me
And I wonder whySometimes the truth ain't easy to find?I wanna know all the answersBut I'm learning that these things take timeYeah, these things take time
How could success make us feel like failures?And the harder we fall the harder we tryThe more I have the more I needJust to feel like I'm getting by
Oh, there's so many questions and one short life
And I'm wondering whySometimes the truth ain't easy to findI wanna know all the answersBut I'm learning that these things take timeYeah, these things take time
And we spend so much time chasing our tailsHoping to find every last answer to everything in lifeSo many questions, not enough time
But I'm still wondering whySometimes the truth ain't easy to findI wanna know all the answersBut I'm learning that these things take timeYeah, these things take time
Hey, we all wanna understand whyEvil lives and good men dieOn the way to Heaven the truth unwindsThese things take timeThese things take timeYeah, these things take time