Monday, January 4, 2010

Journal: FRIENDS
FRIEND: 1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; 2. a person who gives assistance

Why do friends seem to walk into your life, pull up a chair and stay awhile and leave, never to return? Or some make these drive by visits and wave leaving you dazed, staring after them with longing and wondering when to expect the next wake up call in the middle of the night? Seems very few to be the statue of friendship, true in every form. Are we all like in this quest for friends, or am I alone?

What are friends? How do we get them? How do we keep them? What defines them? Are they mutual or viewed only by one party as a friend? Are they really not a two way relationship? Do people need friends? Or are we just supposed to be friendly towards each other and not "have" friends? Maybe your life is perfect and you don't need any more friends, because you have SO MANY already? Why do some friends stick in their click of friends, this special group of people, thats plain you are not included as "their friend"...does this mean they don't like you? or maybe you are just useless? not very sweet? unfavorable to be around? Puuuhlease! I thought that was stuff done only in elementary school? but you meant to tell me its in workplaces and other environments too? Why? Don't they know it hurts peoples feelings? Makes them think something is wrong with them? Gives a complex that their friendliness is unwanted and therefore ignored? Makes them feel alone? Oh, I forgot, I am alone, remember??? I am single, have no man or kids, won't relate to what you are going through in life, and so having me around creates this 5th wheel syndrome thats too much to deal with? I know...I understand. But you think if you say "good to see you" when you walk by me, that makes up for you never calling to say hello? write an email to touch base and cheer me/them on their journey? invite over for a meal to warm my heart? chat by the fire just to be cozy? meet up mid-week for coffeee? Or is your life so filled with you and yours that you have no time for friends? Why? Do you really like it like that? Is it easier to have friends off in the distance? Is that why you can't find my phone number? Can't remember the web address to my blog to read whats going on in my life? Deleted me as your facebook friend? I forgot, your life is busier than have less time in your day than me. All these things I guess make you not obligated to keep me close to your heart because I am out of sight and out of mind, right? Maybe you think I have all the friends I need, for when you see me, I am not sitting in the corner alone, does that mean I don't need or want you in my life friend? You say, you have so much family, cousins, aunts, uncles, distant relatives, way more than me... so I do, did you know not one of them calls me, writes me, or does anything to stay in touch? that they feel nothing like family or relatives in anyway? Yah, really you should be proud, they don't even attempt what you do! You say you enjoy my emails, but do you think that I don't enjoy yours? or when I email you that I don't want a response?

Yah, I think friends are special but they take lots of work...they make you shed tears you can't shut off...they make you go leaps and bounds to do things absolutely beyond the moon to grab a star and bring it back so maybe just maybe they will know how much, how really much you care for them...they make you hold dear the good times shared and treasure them like they may be your last, because in reality, it might...but in the end, it all ends with many hours of prayer to know how to be a friend and keep one with the ultimate purpose to set aside my feelings and be open, kind, loving and generous friend regardless of or if I am really considered their friend.

So tonight I close my blog, wishing I had the answers and knew the way to solve the FRIEND problem...but for now, I continue to muse and discover how to be the FRIEND I want in my FRIENDs. I love you my friends!


  1. Misty, I have been having much of these same thoughts myself lately. I know that I have not been the friend I can be to many in my life. Thanks for these reminders and sharing your heart.
    Love you!

  2. It's complicated, isn't it? My prayer Monday was very simply, "Lord, help me be a good friend today..."