Thursday, August 5, 2010

thoughts on development in relationships

I am currently facing some struggles with relationships. 

I find that when you try to give things a perspective in a different light, something away from the current scenerio, many times it provides answers to the actual issue so that you can have a new, better, revised, alternate game plan. 

What I mean is this:  I have tried to imagine what it would be like if I were a parent and how I would relate to my I would coach, train, encourage, discipline, instruct, what my expectations would be & why - and MORE!  I think that some of what I am experiencing would be similar and probably much like that of a parent in relating with their child.  I am sure there are times when you are...
  • excited when things are going well & progress is made
  • frustrated when things are not good & you seem to be taking steps backward
  • not sure what to say to get something thru their thick head, especially when you have said it over and over and over - what more is it going to take?
  • when to be firm, unbending with the risk of being harsh
  • when to be gracious, knowing you had learning curves & growing spurts too
  • when to be understanding and just be a bit more patient
  • when to say enough is enough
  • how not to be perturbed when you have tried everything and things are still not working and you have no more ideas
  • when to let go
  • when to sit down and talk things out
  • when to give space
  • when to demand a response and when to let the person think, hoping that they are
  • etc

All of this is a learning experience for me...and I want to allow God (who knows all about me and all about this person) to work in me and thru me so that I can help those that need help and we both may be pruned and grow. 

Do you ever think of things in a different perspective?  What would you add to this list?  What strategy do you use in relationships?

1 comment:

  1. When relating to adults or teens, giving space is often the best thing. Whenever you sow, you have to wait before you reap. Therefore when you've sown a thought, that's pretty much all you can do. The remainder is up to the Lord.

    Unless you're dealing with an employee or someone somehow under your authority, an adult to adult relationship, especially with someone of similar age, isn't much like a parent/child relationship. Adults are responsible before God for their actions, and once you've said your piece once, it's usually time to step back and let the Lord work. It's hard enough to change your own behavior; it's literally impossible to change someone else (and the Lord hasn't asked us to do so).

    And from the perspective of a fairly quiet person, nothing is more distracting or disturbing than talktalktalk. I simply zone out, whether I mean to or not. I need space and quiet, and I give that to others because I don't believe it's my responsibility to change anyone.

    I really don't even have a strategy-- I just try to be an Ephesians 4:32 friend at all times because that's what I feel called to be. I believe that the Lord will work as he is allowed, and I know that whatever the outcome of any situation, he can work it all for good.

    Love in Him,