Monday, May 23, 2011

offering assistance vs asking for help

Some of you know that Roseann M fell last Tuesday when she was painting her barn.  The ladder slipped out away from the wall and there was nothing she could do even though she was hoping she could ride it down or jump off or something.  No such luck.  She was on the concrete in nothing flat.  She had just begun to start the painting session that day and hadn't gotten very far.  She was painting up the second half of the wall, just above the barn doors heading up the 2nd story.  She ended up with injuries to her right eye and right knee and landed in the hospital for 3 days total while having emergency surgery on her knee.  Anyways...when I had heard of the accident, I wrote her an email and told her I was sorry, wanted to come see her in the hospital but that that was probably bad timing, and what could I do to help??? Well yesterday when I got to my car after meeting and checked my Droid Incredible for emails, I had an email from her.  She said that Steve was about exhausted with caring for her and could I please come help?  I quickly responded Absolutely...I was just leaving the meeting hall, would go get something to eat and be on my way...did she need any supplies or anything that I could pick up?  She needed stuff to make kombucha and I got that on my way.

When I got there we chatted for a little bit and then I did some chores (vacuumed, mopped and made kombucha - with her help as she sat at the bar and gave me instructions and she filled some of the bottles as I maneuvered around the kitchen)...but the reason for my post is this...I have had some thoughts about offering assistance vs asking for help after this event yesterday.

I typically, probably like some of you, feel that I am single and that is nobody else's problem that I have no man to help me and need to try to do things on my own and figure it out.  I know I am capable so I try to do it all.  Sometimes to the point of appearing like I am superwoman when I feel like anything but!  In reflecting, I think sometimes this attitude probably makes people not offer to help me.  I asked Roseann if she got lots of offers to help and she said she had.  She said "you know Misty, when I offer to help someone, I mean it, so I decided I would make a list of everyone that offered and I would take them up on it.  If someone says, oh I can't today, then I will try them another day.  If they make excuses, then I will know they really don't want to help and I will move on to the next person."  This short little conversation spoke volumes to me.  First, when I see a need, do I offer to help?  When I offer to help, do I mean it?  Do I have an attitude of giving, no matter the time of day, no matter the duty, no matter what is needed?  I believe I only offer when I can and think I always have that attitude, but it is a good reminder for your yes to be yes and your no to be no, so don't offer to help if you don't plan to follow thru.  It also was a good point to not let other people's lives get to you.  Ask for help, be willing to reach out and take the help from those who have offered and if they can't help you or don't want to help you when you ask, move on to the next person.  There is another willing and loving person there to give of themselves!  Roseann was in a point of need, much need, and she knew it, so asking for help came pretty easy because things are simply not going going to get done if she doesn't have some help.  But I know sometimes for me, it is hard to ask for help...but if I am in a point of "need" why?  It takes teamwork and all of us helping each other along the way to be successful, so why do we feel bad asking for help?  Why do we feel we are putting someone else out when in reality we are all supposed to be giving and helping???

Pray for Steve...he is having to do a lot that he is not used to doing and I am sure it is tough on him, just in a different way!  He fixed us an incredible meal last night though!!!

Share with me your thoughts on offering assistance vs asking for help...


  1. I'm so thankful that you were available and could help Roseann out. What a blessing you received and it appears she taught you a valuable lesson in the process. It truly is more blessed to give than receive.

  2. Really good thoughts, Misty!

  3. Thank you for the word of encouragement and for the update! We have been on the receiving end for an injury much like hers!I appreciate you taking the time to encourage me and others.We will keep them in our prayers!