Saturday, April 14, 2012

results of natural chemo?

...before you panic, no, I don't have cancer, the kind that you can treat with true chemo (at least that I am aware of).  The last two months, I have been experiencing hair loss of a level never before.  When you tell people, you get typical responses, "Yah, I know what you mean, I do too."  I hate to tell you this, but I don't think that you are having the amount I am.  Even if you are, it doesn't change the fact I am.  Take a look:

hair loss for 1 random Day

hair loss 2 Days later

When I told my doctor the first part of February of my concern, he notated it, but didn't seem to be alarmed until my second visit when I produced pictures of the amount of hair loss.  Let me say his facial expression and level of deep concern by what he said communicated things beyond words to me.  One of my girlfriends does a lot of research and she had sent me something she read about  my condition that I printed and gave him wondering if it would be helpful to me.  He is going to research it and let me know on my next visit as at this time he/we are not sure what is causing it since I don't feel stressed (believe me, I know what stress is) but we know that I have Endometriosis which is a disease that forms like Breast Cancer does (it is something I have battled since my childhood), along with adrenal fatigue and other hormone issues.  These things may be causing stress on my body that I can't "feel".  The Endometriosis is continuing to wreck havoc on other areas of my hormones.  They have been changing my medications and in November 2011 took me off hormones I had been on for the bulk of my life, this may be a result of may be something else.  

I am determined to not get stressed about it, but when your hair is a third of what it used to be it is hard to not just cry.  

It is hard to put it up in hairstyles that are a bold reminder of what it is now...a 2" flimsy bun vs a 5" thick bun (I have not actually measured it, but I can guarantee you it is drastic).

It is hard to want to touch it because a wad just might end up in your hands. 

It is hard to want to care for it out of fear you may be bald very soon.  

Just like other areas of my life that are not as I dream of it to be, that are difficult, cause pain, create fear, produce regret, bring concern...I try to find ways to cope, ways to acknowledge the facts, create peace and be positive about it.  I try to remember that God has a plan, even if I don't understand it.  I am determined to look at this as something my body is doing because it is better for me with the hope and possibility of new growth coming soon!  

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss my thick curly hair.  

I want answers to curing my Endometriosis and since it is related to a type of cancer, I want to find a natural way to cure it.  There has to be a way!  I trust that God is allowing me to go through Natural Chemo with my hair loss and that I can find a Natural Chemo method to fight this disease that is like cancer.     

So I am on a journey of Natural Chemo!  ;)

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