Sunday, August 18, 2013

Counseling Session #12

We finished the most horrific part of My Story.  The story of when I was 17 is over!!!  

Through telling My Story, I am learning that what I experienced has truly shaped me, my personality, my expectations, my fears, my hopes, my outlook on life - God - people - business, my friendships and relationship, has created my determination, has affected me dramatically in who I am today, why I think the way I do, why I react the way I do, why I am who I am...why I have trust issues.

Through it, I am learning that the more I accept it as My Story, not allowing myself to shove it away by trying to make it a separate person from me, not avoiding the pain that is in My Story, I am enabled to live more completely.  

I never would have dreamed I wasn't accepting of My Story, but through this process, that's what I have learned.

I am learning by being vulnerable in a way I have never been before, I can face and accept the truth of my life, not the lies.  I can be bold and call it what it was, because God does.  It was abuse.  Full fledge horrific ugly abuse.  It was rape.

The source of all pain is the avoidance of legitimate pain. - Layne

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