Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Day 3 in Franklin

Today was the day for my first session of Life Plan Coaching with Chris LoCurto.

I left the hotel at 7.30am, and arrived a few minutes before 8am, the time I was supposed to be there.  The drive was gorgeous   Chris fixed me breakfast, chorizo eggs and coffee.  Chris then prayed over breakfast.  He said:  "You God, knew thousands of years ago that Misty would be here today on her journey.  We praise you for your part in our lives.  Help us to know it's all about God's love.  Grace.  Mercy."

I wish I had been taking notes when he prayed...he said more...God heard.  My heart was touched.  I wish I could remember the prayer.

He shared the plan for the day...starting with a diagram of how we face problems...Eastern Culture vs Western Culture.  He said the session would not be information for solutions, it will likely be an emotional day...to the point that I may not want to come back.  He asked me to remember to push past that if thats the way I felt.

[I feel I can take a lot and so I thoroughly didn't anticipate this being the way I would feel at the end of the day.  Exhausted?  Yes.  But to a point that I wouldn't come back?  No.  Not me.]

The view out of his place is spectacular!!!  I could have stared at it all day.

We headed upstairs to the theater room, in front of the white board to begin the LifePlan Coaching Session.  Chris stated by the end of the day, I would hate the question he would ask of me the most, which would be "Why?"  

[He was right.  It got downright irritating.]

Module 1
We started with: "What is the primary thing you want to get out of this? ...the next 2 days? ...in each of these areas?"
  • Primary Goal
  • Personal Goal
  • Family Goal
  • Career Goal
  • Church Goal
  • Community Goal
I normally am very, very, very open on my blog.  Normally I post anything and everything, even if you the reader doesn't understand, even if you don't relate, even if you don't agree.  I pray that I can share what I should, but because of the nature of what I faced today and the vulnerability of some of my feelings and how it all relates to my story, I am guarded.  I am working through extreme fear.  I pray you will be patient with me, I pray that you will hang with me and realize I will share when and how I can, but at the moment, most of the specifics about me and my nuggets will be kept on my notes.

Module 2
Chris asked:
  1. What is right?
  2. What is wrong?
  3. What is confused?
  4. What is missing?
I answered the questions.  Chris asked, Why?  I answered with more answers.  Chris asked, Why?  I answered more in depth yet, and Chris asked, Why?  

Chris reminded me to understand my personality style.  To be comfortable with it.  The things discovered in today's session will not be to create victims.  Not to create monsters.  The purpose is to point out what happened and why.

Chris told me:  "God wants you to surrender.  You are having a hard time giving this up."
[Tears.  The hot kind of tears that are big globs flowing down you face.  God, what's wrong with me??? I have never cried so much in my flipping life like I have this year!]  He told me:  "You are over analyzing...put away anything that holds you back. There are no answers that are going to be a mistake.  Trust me.  If you can't trust me, trust God."

Module 3
We reviewed Turning Points in my life.  I had 11 of them [though there are probably more].

Chris made an assessment of me compared to others he has done LifePlans with:
"You see yourself and understand yourself more than most."  [This blew me away.  I don't see myself this way.]

We intellectually understand our lives but not fully until we emotionally understand. 

Preach the gospel at all times, when necessary use words.

You have lived under pressure.  Under control.  Under guilt.  By your parents.  By the church.  By your clients.  [More gut wrenching tears.]

God is in the middle of ALL that happened.  [I know this theoretically just wish I knew this in reality at the time I was facing these things in my life, like I do now.]

Module 4
We created Turning Points Profile of the review of my life.  We then created themes of these periods.  

Module 5a and Module 5b
I then made a list of Turning Points Learned from this process, which consisted of a list of 30 items.  [At dinner Chris told me that the most he has ever had someone do was 26, I exceeded that.]

Chris asked:  What are you afraid of?  God wants us to surrender to take it away from us. Until you do, he has to work around those things.  Listen.  Focus.  Allow God to speak to you.

You have been blamed, criticized, and condemned for your decisions, beliefs, and feelings your entire life.

At this point in the session, I was frustrated.  Very frustrated.  I felt Chris was frustrated with me.  I told Chris so.  We talked more.  I learned I was feeling a fear of disappointing him, which is far from the truth, and even if I had, it wouldn't matter.  Who has a right to be disappointed by you?  Nobody!  Can you disappoint God?  When are you going to quit caring?  Why do you care?

You can't fix the business until you fix yourself.

My Homework ~ Write a Letter to God to include"
F = Family or Future
R = Reputation
M = Money
P = Possessions
T = Time
H = Health

[I took 6 pages of notes.  I am emotionally and mentally exhausted.  I don't feel I can think through my thoughts.  I need alone time with God.  I need time spent quietly in prayer.]  

I left at 7pm, came to the hotel, got a glass of wine, headed to the pool to swim for 30 minutes, then to my room for a really hot shower to then sit down and write this blog post.  

I have not done my homework.  I am so drained, I don't see how I can write a letter to God.  What would I say?  Whether I do or don't do my homework, I don't feel good enough.  So I am headed to bed...I will get up early before Day 2 and work through this.

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