Sunday, June 1, 2014

Dating Questions: Why are you doing online dating?

Various friends of mine have asked me why I am doing online dating. Not the reason "why", because they know that, I have shared both in person and on my blog, but as to why I would choose online dating vs I guess some other form of dating???

Some people are for it.  Some people are against it.  Either way, I write today to share why I began this process.  Some of my story may be new to you, some of it may be old.

I have been on a personal journey the last few years to grow me and develop me to a deeper level.  In this process, I have come to face the facts of my story, accept my story and be willing to share my story and live down the lies.  Lies about what I was taught about men and dating.  The right.  The wrong.  The christian way vs non christian way.  Etc.  In doing so, I have been presented with choices to make along the way as to exactly how willing I was to follow God in this process.  One of these steps was removing my wedding band that I had worn on my left hand for 16 years to keep men away.  You see, I didn't have a home life that was pleasant or an example of parents who truly lived a life of love with each other.  Then facing being raped at 17, I didn't see any use for men.  I accepted them, but felt no need for one in my personal space.  I would make my life great without one.  And I have.  

As I attended the LiveBIG Conference #2 in March 2014, my accountability buddy challenged me to remove my ring and move past my fears of men and dating.  I accepted.  This was the beginning of some deep dark work in my heart and mind.  Concepts that I needed to examine, truth I needed to uncover, lies I needed to let go of, negative beliefs that had no place, hope that needed to come alive, and love that I needed to learn to accept and receive.  

After being asked out on my very first date and having an amazing experience, I then faced the results of a guy who wasn't ready for a relationship and who didn't want me in his life.  At the prompting of my coach, I created an online dating account.  Did I have reservations about this?  Absolutely, I still do.  It's not my favorite thing.  Is online dating the only way to meet men?  No.  However, when you don't have a church home, you have no family here, your friends know much of the same people you know, its time to broaden your circle if you want to change your connections.  This is why I chose online dating.

I believe no matter your form of dating, the only way for it to be successful is to know the following:

  • What are you looking for in a guy?
  • What questions must you have answers to?
  • What are your boundaries?
  • What safety guidelines will you put in place in meeting and going out with guys?
  • What are deal breakers for you?

What questions would you add to the list?  Do you want to share with me how you met your spouse?

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