Nothing clarifies boundaries more than forgiveness…It is much better to receive grace from God, who has something to give, and to forgive those who have no money to pay their debt with. This ends your suffering, because it ends the wish for repayment that is never forthcoming and that makes your heart sick because your hope is deferred. If you do not forgive, you are demanding something your offender does not choose to give, even if it is only confession of what he did. This "ties" him to you and ruins boundaries. Let the dysfunctional family (or friendship) you came from go. Cut it loose, and you will be free.
- quote from Boundaries by Henry Cloud