Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Dating Questions: Are you gonna jump?

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend and we were discussing dating, the important questions that must be asked and the steps to moving forward with a relationship.  The comment was made, "Misty I hope you just don't just jump into marriage."

I laughed.  Outright laughed.  

I then replied and said that I have no intention of "jumping into marriage".

As I drove away from the conversation, I wondered what makes people say something so crazy like that?  

As I reflected on the question, I had many more questions:

  • Is it possible to just jump into marriage?  
  • Is it possible to make such a big life changing relationship change and it be something abrupt that you just throw yourself into?  
  • What does it mean just jump into something?
  • What does it look like if you did just jump into something?

Then I thought about my life and how I live it...  

Have I been one to just jump into something?  If so, when?  

Then I wondered, does it even matter if I have or haven't jumped into things in the past?  What about in the present?  Or will in the future?  Isn't that kinda irrelevant?  

The real question is:  Is it possible for someone to just jump into marriage?  Do I believe its possible for ME to just jump into marriage [because it doesn't matter if someone else can or not, I only am concerned with me]?  

My reflections produced the following thoughts:

I have no intentions of just jumping into marriage.  I will be intentional in my process of dating and creating a relationship that enables me to learn about a potential spouse.  I will be focused on my decision to marry when I believe I have met the person that fits what I want in a spouse and the relationship is to that stage.  I do not look at marriage as an option of something to just try.  My decision will be a conscious and planned move, it will not be something I just jump into.  I have every intention of spending dedicated and conscious time learning about relationships, the communication styles of men and woman, the art of the dating process, and if marriage is a result of that interaction, I will then be as committed at learning and understanding all aspects of marriage.  It will be something new that I will be learning about and moving towards understanding both in an intellectual and emotional sense.  I believe the success of a relationship comes from being immersed in it, but not without a plan, without a goal, without my eyes wide open, and without prayer, lots of deep thought provoking heart analysis and prayer!  

I do not see jumping into marriage as an option.  For me.  My aim is for creating the most excellent results and success, which I don't believe comes from just jumping into something this life changing.

Do you believe you can just jump into marriage?

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