Sunday, November 29, 2015

This is Who I Will Be

Life has disappointments, unexpected results, challenges. Often. Ones that sometimes make you loose hope, to the point you can become angry or depressed. The normal response is to complain. To not look for the beauty in the ugly situation. To believe that you have a right to feel the way you do.
And yes, there is an aspect that your feelings are valid. Please don't disregard them or try to shove them aside as being unimportant or something that is wrong. Yet it is in that moment that it is most important, to not look to remain a victim or focus on the negative in your thought processes. The power to change your situation is in that one small choice.
When I first became interested in motivational and positive affirmations, I thought that these people put on a front for their conferences and didn't/couldn't live the life they talked. That is what had been modeled to me for years, how could I think anything differently? People who had a mask, showing one face in certain settings and portraying another in others. I wanted what they had so desperately. Then I thought they really didn't face deep dark hard things like I had in life. I learned how far from the truth that was. I wondered if they put motivation and positive affirmations above God.
Yet as I have met and observed many lives, taken many courses, studied lots of material, I have found that there are true individuals [yes among the ones who don't], who know what being authentic is like, not just as a fad or cliché statement it has sort of become, but who really walk the talk. Not just people who have bought a line and are trying to sell a hype to make money. Full out walk the talk. And full out have seen the results hard proof in their lives by these daily simple choices.
I want more of these type of people in my life: People who do all things without complaining. People who love. People who show grace when the moment makes it hard to be grace filled. People who believe in mercy. People who choose to be of service instead of self focused. People who know the importance of kindness. People who make the choice daily to be different. People who desire to be a blessing, just because they have been in a place of need once themselves; they desire to pay it forward. People whose presence brings peace. People who know the value of life and make efforts to share in each others lives. People who honor their word in all situations. People who expect out of me what they expect out of themselves. People who have patience to help me grow, knowing that it's layers we work through to achieve results. People who have courage, to encourage me to keep the fight. People who know love heals all wounds. People who want to be authentic on all levels.
This is my purpose in life. To be just like those people I want in my life. Always. In everything. First with myself, then with you.
When I find a mask showing up, I am going to remove it. When I find my heart not following its true desires, I will unlock the key to change direction. When a door closes, I will search the hallways for another door, even if it requires flights of stairs. When I feel my passion suffocating, I will take a deep breath and let it out, for then I am forced to take in a new breath of fresh air. When I feel my vision covered by fog, I will give it time to evaporate. If I come to a place where I can't find my vision, I will seek quiet time until I do. When I feel the threat of regret, I will remember that I always have a choice, for there are no regrets, only lessons to learn. When I feel fear taking over, I will remember the power I have been given. When emotional pain threatens to destroy all hope, I will remember the times and ways God has shown up previously. When enemies or circumstances threaten to create defensiveness, I will consciously choose to respond in love. I will find the light to drive out the darkness. I will choose to make prayer my focus to become renewed. When all else fails, I will start with a fresh canvas.
No matter how crummy I feel right now, nor the plans I continue to have to cancel or the ways life isn't showing up to be how I want to matter the inner struggles I am facing to try to find answers that seem to elude matter the challenges to communicate and be matter how lost I feel for matter the ongoing battle to believe I am good enough, worthy, wanted...I will question whose voice I am listening to. This is who I will be!

I will choose to be grateful.

I will choose to believe in life.

I will choose to have hope.

I will choose to seek the truth.

I will choose to love.

I pray you will do the same. 
‪#‎WhoseVoiceAreYouListeningTo‬‪#‎CreateTheLifeYouWant‬ ‪#‎LiveWithGratitude‬ ‪#‎LiveIntentionally‬

1 comment:

  1. It has been awesome reading your blog and watching you grow. Thanks for letting me be part of it!