Friday, January 6, 2017

do you believe your comments don't matter?

I was at a function this past week and having a conversation with some individuals regarding my Social Media Break between Christmas and New Years and the reasons behind this.  As the group of us were discussing what people share on Facebook, how some use it to create relationships, why some people love Facebook, we particularly spent time talking about the objective of commenting or not commenting, one of the individuals said:  "I refuse to comment any more because in the end, my opinion doesn't matter and they do not want to hear what I have to say."

To be honest, I found this mental framework about relationships and communication disheartening.  I personally believe that comments online and offline do matter.  Even if you do not "feel" that the person wants to hear what you have to say.  Not just because Words of Affirmation is one of The Five Love Languages, but also because we are instructed to Encourage One Another and Build Each Other Up. [quote from Ephesians 5:11]  

Dialogue is how we create connection.  Asking questions is how we get to know someone.  Sharing our thoughts is how we get other perspectives.  Sharing ideas is how we can brainstorm. Sharing encouragement in word format allows someone to hear things that their heart needs.  Sharing a comment lets the other person know we heard them.

If I do not comment, I am not giving to the relationship.  If I do not comment, I am not allowing other perspectives to be shared.  If I do not comment, I am not adding ideas to someones world to be brainstormed about.  If I do not comment, I can't encourage someone.  If I do not comment, I can't let the other person know I heard them.

Yes, sometimes we will comment and the things we say will come out the wrong way, intentionally or unintentionally.  Our perspective won't be understood or appreciated.  Our ideas won't be received or accepted.  Our encouragement won't be seen as such.  And yes, we indeed may offend someone, deeply offend. 

Should I let the possibility of not feeding the relationship the way I want to in my heart stop me from communication?  Should I let the chance that everything goes the wrong direction from my communication stop me from commenting?

Not if I am focused on trying to create a connection, I won't let it.

This isn't heaven and even God isn't expecting me to be perfect.  I will say something that creates a ripple effect of both good and bad feelings. This is life.  This is part of the process of learning, growing and understanding each other.

Today I want to ask:  What if we did more to comment instead of just scroll through and like here and there on Facebook?  What if we did more to create a connection and relationship?  What if we just didn't create news or noise but actually had dialogue?  What if we dropped the fear on what people will think of our comments?  What if we truly engaged and created the relationships we all desire?

I want to be intentional in connecting.  I want to comment as often as I can.  I want my relationships to matter.  And because of that, I believe my comments matter.
#RelationshipsMatter #ThePowerOfChoice #BeDifferent #ADifferentPerspective

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