Terry & I were supposed to go to Russell's for dinner tonight, but Russell is not well so they canceled yesterday. I asked Terry if he wanted to come over to my place for dinner since we already had the time set aside...he said sure. I made him pick what he wanted to eat...he said he wasn't hungry, medicine makes food taste funny, etc...but eventually he came up with a plan. :) We ate breakfast: eggs, hashbrowns, fruit, sausage. I then asked if he wanted to take a walk. We didn't walk far as I knew he couldn't do much, but I want to try to help him in small ways give him zeal for life. He smoked as we walked. When we came back to the house, we read Psalm 103 together, one of Uncle Tom's favorite passages, we split the 22 verses each reading 11. We sat and didn't talk much for a few minutes and not knowing if he would then just head home, I asked if he knew Ryan &Alisha had bought a house and that they closed Friday on a place not to far from me and wondered if he would want to go see it. I knew they were working on it and would be there, so he agreed. He drove and I went with him in his car, something he hasn't wanted to do before for fear that I would get to sick since he smokes in his car. After about 10minutes of being there, he was ready to leave...but I felt it was progress that he would want to go and get outside of his own life and focus. We came back home and I gave him an email from Weyman, along with the email from Sharron Roy about Gene Smith's situation, and the words to the song I sang on Sunday a week ago (he asked for those from me today since Stan mentioned in his message last Wednesday that I sang on Sunday - he asked me about it today as I had not told him this). I think it might work for good in his life by learning about it...he doesn't understand how this has not just torn me apart. Well, it has in moments, but the Lord has given me the strength to face this trial and I want to grow by it...it has not been easy but these types of things aren't. Singing was not easy...but I wanted to share my heart and I didn't feel a testimony would convey my thoughts very well plus I figured I would just cry and nobody would understand my mumbled words anyways. He left shortly after to head home.
I realate all this about our evening to say this:
he needs this kind of stuff. Normal life things. Peace. Calm. No arguements. No fighting. No drama. No put me downs, you can't do it, you are no good. Nothing like that. We didn't discuss much, just were together for the evening...I want him to just learn to be different and find the truth in the difference. He did make a comment which I took as headway..."its good to be alive today". I wasn't sure what triggered the thought, he stopped one of his medicines last night and felt better today after feeling crummy for 5days. He can't seem to get over the fact that he just saw Gene Smith who sat by him last Wednesday night and then was in a car wreck by the end of the week and will have therapy for 6 weeks. He has made the comment several times. I told him none of us know how long we have, I could be gone tomorrow...he could have been gone when he overdosed...we need to be grateful for each day that we have and serve the Lord with our whole heart in the moment, here and now.