Do Not Fear

a Holiday wknd enjoyed 100%

I did something I normally don't do.  


It was Memorial Day Weekend.  I took the whole weekend off work, yes, all of it!  Both Saturday & Monday.  It was LOVELY in every sense of the word.


I attempted to sleep in Saturday Morning.  I turned off the alarm clock the night before, but the body alarm clock went off and didn't care what my brain had in mind...however, I decided to ignore it and be lazy in bed, even if I couldn't sleep.  I did until 9am!  I went for my walk and then went to the Burleson Farmers Market.  I hadn't been since it opened a few weeks ago.  I then met Michelle for breakfast at Fuzzy's Tacos.  Their breakfast is soooooooooooooo yummy!!!  I had Chilaquiles with the potatoes and refried beans.  My original plans were to come home and work, but it was then when I changed gears and decided to not do that.  From there I ran errands...the bank, Cutting Corners to search for drapery fabric for my bedroom [I need to get some dark stuff so I can sleep...white whispy voile curtains are very cute, but do not block any light], Ann Taylor Loft to use a $20 gift card, World Market to search for patio furniture, and Central Market to get a few items since I was on that side of town.  The day flew...and I was thoroughly exhausted by the time I got home, largely because I don't do that kind of shopping...or for that length of time out...haven't in a very long time.  I came home and unloaded things, went out by the pool for 30minutes and then was off to pickup Maggie [Brent & Jennifer's dog as they are out of town].  I came home and browsed patio furniture online and bought some on clearance at Target.com.


Sunday was meeting and afterwards Debbie invited me over to join their company, Bill & Belinda and Mark & Naomi, along with Victoria and Winter.  We had homemade hamburgers, topped with cheese and mushrooms...they were delicious [even if I didn't have the bun].  We lazed around on the couches and visited.  I then headed to get a prescription at Target and get a few items since I had a 5% off one day shopping excursion.  I then went to Home Depot to browse Hardie Plank styles and paint colors.  I have a contractor doing some work in a few weeks for me and I needed to start the steps to this.  Choosing paint is a difficult task.  The lighting and atmosphere of hardware stores is nothing like your home and no matter what ones in the store you think are your favorites, they usually vary by the time you check them out at home.  That whole process took 3 hours, but I made some headway, I narrowed it down to 5 colors.


Today, I slept in again and got up to look at paint colors outside in the morning light.  I narrowed it down to 3 colors.  I then spent some time sipping Kefir and knitting in my living room club chair in my pjs!  What fun!!!  From there, I decided it was time to walk.  I texted Autie Con to see if I could walk over and join them for couch potato time and tea.  I spent 5 hours with them, sitting on the couch chatting and knitting.  They dropped me off on their way to their plans for the rest of the day.  I then made me a steak with seared okra, caprice salad and a glass of kombucha.  I then spent some time in the sun and in the pool!  The day was hot and the wind was breezy, a perfect day to get a little brown!  I then headed out to Half Price books as they were having a 20% off sale all weekend and I wanted to try to find a book that was referenced in my Dave Ramsey EntreLeadership podcast I listened to on the road last week.  Unfortunately, I didn't find it, but I found another I have wanted to read for some time, it is an older book, The Purpose Driven Life.  Can't wait to start it!  Came home and did some laundry and packed for my sitting job this week.  I have several things going on this week which means the week is going to fly!!!


What did you do this 2012 Memorial Holiday Weekend?

Quotes

Possibilities are endless & so are the opportunities to make an impact on someone's life.

Love People!

You can do 8 things to improve your relationships by loving people more:

1. Contribute - be part of the solution
2. Be Kind - have concern & respect for others
3. Be Patient - give others the time you'd like to be given
4. Be Honest - have truthful conversations
5. Encourage other People - give confidence & support freely
6. Apologize - say you're sorry, because we all make mistakes
7. Forgive People - accept "I'm sorry"
8. Thank People - enjoy the work of others and show your gratitude

Love your people!

Quotes

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.
- Ghandi

God is your reason

trying to get excited about my trip

I am trying to get excited about my 5days to California.  I hate to tell you, but I am not one bit excited.  In fact, I am dreading it.  


The airline ticket was bought over a month ago.  The Hotel and Rental Car reserved this last weekend.  It is all in motion, but I wish it wasn't.  


Why do you ask?


Because I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired.  I mean it.  You think I am kidding, I am not.  Don't get me wrong, I am not backing out.  It is just not fun to think of being around a bunch of people when you feel like this.  Do you have any strength you can send me?  I am in desperate need of it.


The only part I am looking forward to, is the opportunity to sleep in...but with a 2hour time zone difference, I bet there won't be much of that happening.  


Ready or not...here we go!

song ~ begins and ends in you

Begins and Ends in You
by Aaron Spiro
[“In your light we see light.” Psalm 36:9]


in your light we see the light
in your touch we learn to touch
in your life we are alive
in your love we learn to love


Chorus:
all that I know of true
begins and ends in you
let everything I do
begin and end in you


in your peace we find our peace
in your strength we learn to stand
in your arms we find release
in your hands we are your hands

john 15:2

Quotes

If you allow negative people to surround you, then you are sabotaging your ability to think, act & speak in a positive way.

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom's

to Mema and Auntie Con: you have been more than anyone could ask for in a Mom, a better replacement (yes, I said that), one that is real and true...you mean the world to me! Neither of you know all you have done since I moved to Texas in 1997 to inspire, encourage, support, promote the good in me, help me work through my ongoing faults, and I love you both with all my heart!!!

[my post on Facebook this morning]

song ~ your love is life to me

Your Love is Life to Me
by FFH


Your love is life to me 
my truest longing my deepest need 
without it one moment 
I don't know where I'ld be 
your love is life to me

Breath for my body 
light for my eyes 
all that I need 
you daily provide
deep in my being 
more than my blood 
my very exsistence 
depends on your love

Your love is life to me 
my truest longing my deepest need yeah 
without it one moment 
I don't know where I'ld be 
your love is life to me

Moment by moment I am aware
of your tender mercies 
and your constant care 
my hope and my strength 
thru all of my days
I see so clearly in so many ways

Your love is life to me
my truest longing my deepest need yeah
without it one moment
I don't know where I'ld be
your love is life to me

Your love is a river 
flowing to the sea 
and the river runs forever 
and washes over me

Your love is life to me
my truest longing my deepest need yeah
without it one moment
I don't know where I'ld be
your love is life to me
(repeat) 

believe. belong. become.

Believe...Belong...Become

If you Believe in Christ, then you Belong to Christ, and you can Become the person God created you to Be. 

Quotes

The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting. By doubting we come to the question, and by seeking we may come to the truth. 

– Pierre Abelard 

a diet or a lifestyle?

May 2011, I saw my doctor and though I had made previous changes to my diet, we discussed and I learned that it truly was not enough to improve my health to the degree that I needed and wanted to.  I decided to be very disciplined and make those changes.  I have gotten lots of questions about "What are you doing?" since loosing 26+ pounds since that time frame.  Consequently, I have decided to blog about it.  


What is my secret?  It isn't one.  


What one thing am I doing?  It is a combination of things.


What do I believe contributes to my success at this?  Honestly, the discipline and determination to make it happen.


1.  Drink water.  As soon as I wake up, I drink a full glass of water.
2.  Walk every morning. I started with 1 mile and have increased it and how walk 2-4 miles every day.  On average it is 2-2.5miles or 25 minutes.  I drink another glass of water upon my return.
3.  Eat within 1 hour of waking up.
4.  Remove all forms of caffeine.  I currently have one cup of Hot Tea (typically Green Tea) in the morning.  This means that yes, though I absolutely LOVE coffee, I have removed it from my diet.  
5.  Continue to not eat Wheat and Sugar. I started this 2-3 years ago and have felt better.  Does that mean I never eat it? No, if somewhere I can't pick my own food, then yes, I eat wheat, but outside of that, yes, I avoid it.  Does that mean I am crazy and avoid all dressings and sauces?  No, but be reasonable and avoid them if you can and if you do use them, use them at a very minimum amount.  If I have any sweet stuff in my tea or oatmeal, it is honey or Raw/Natural sugar, but very, very, very limited amounts.  I have not had a dessert in I can't tell you how long!
6.  Drink as much water as possible.  More than the recommended 8-8oz glasses a day.  I strive for 12.
7.  Eat snacks between meals.  This doesn't happen too much for me, but I aim to make it as much as I can.
8.  Add another form of exercise.  I currently am doing Yoga 1-3 times a week.  I sometimes go for a short jog or run, at my own pace, sometimes in a stop and start kinda way (jog to the corner, walk to the next, jog to the next), around the track near my house.
9.  Take vitamins.  Don't be concerned with what brand and type, just take them.  You are probably like me and have tons of them in your pantry.  Use them.  Research the ones that are right for you later when you have used what you have!  If you don't, keep it simple and to about 5 of them:  a multiple Vitamin, VitaminC, Omega3s, VitaminB, and whatever else you might need or have a deficiency in.
10.  Get plenty of sleep.  Your body needs more sleep then you think it does to be efficiently running.  I aim to be in bed at 8.30pm.  I have the alarm set for 7.30am, but if I want to get up before that, then fine, if not, I am up then so that I can walk and eat and be ready for work in my home office at 9am.


When I provide a list of these things, I get one of two responses...it is either, is that all?  Yup, that is all.  Or it is, I could never do that, I love my soda, I love sugar, or I love bread.  Yup, most people do...but I don't like how I feel on it and so I have to tell you, I don't!!! The discipline is worth it, but you have to desire to make it happen. 


 You won't see results for 3-4 months, I didn't and I had been "eating healthy" for some time.  It does take time to get used to not eating wheat and sugar and to not crave it.  If you want encouragement, I will be here to support you.  Start with one of the 10 items and believe me, you will be starting new habits.  


Remember, it takes 27 Days to form a new habit!

verse to reflect on...

Know that the LORD has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the LORD hears when I call to him. 


- Psalm 4:3

a hard day

Today has been a hard day. 


I am ready for the soft fluffy covers to envelope me, right up under the jaw, the cushy pillow to sink my head into.  Ready block out all my thoughts.  Ready to not hear any noise. Ready to escape.


Today was my scheduled appointment with my doctor to obtain my Adrenal Fatigue Test results so we could know what progress has been made.  The last one I had done was last June.  With various symptoms and things I have been experiencing the last two months or so, my doctor felt we needed an update to know where to go with things from here, what treatment changes need to be made, to help define what options we have and how to work with the situation.  I was secretly truly hoping for improvement, even though I no longer feel the benefit of my medications and supplements, my exercise routine no longer energizes me, I am fatigued beyond words, frequently in tears, and am at a point where work no longer excites me.


Let me tell you that my doctor is very kind.  He listens to me, my body, what I describe and thinks things through.  He doesn't just give me a pat answer.  He lets me know when something doesn't sit well with him and why.  He tells me what he is thinking and what he wants achieved and what the plan of action will be from here.  I have been seeing him since 2007 and though I wish we were further along in the steps to recovery, I am grateful for his continued help, kindness and support.  He always closes the visit with "It was my pleasure."  He is a rare doctor.


I was the first appointment of the day, so no long (very long) waiting spells.  My doctor showed me the results.  I was disappointed.  They were not good.  My levels are flat, very low, significantly lower then my "low point" last year.  The starting point on the graph shows me nearly in half of where I was last year.  I told him that though I am not feeling well, I truly was not expecting this.  Don't get me wrong, there is a sense of comfort and encouragement to know that you are feeling is "real", you are not imaging it, making it up, you have real cause for your symptoms.  


[Let me interject, it is very hard for me to discuss my medical situation.  If you know my home life, you know why.  If don't, let me just simply say that my mom was a hypochondriac in every sense of the word and she "never" felt well, "always" had issues, it was "all about her", etc. On top of that, I was raised as "the sick child", and though yes, I was the sickest of all my siblings with frequent ear infections, tonsillitis, rashes and skin sensitivities and allergy issues, there were other aspects made out to be worse than reality and I wasn't allowed to go outside, participate in normal exercise, etc, etc, etc.  All these things are baggage that I have to work through and not run from even though I am NOT my mom.  Don't act like my mom.  Don't think like my mom.]


Back to my doctor's visit...
My doctor said that the results clearly show why I am not sleeping at night.  He said, we have to get you sleeping well so you will be rested and feel better, until we do, you won't.  [I know this.]  He said, Misty, you are like me...you Live to Work...you don't Work to Live.  I said you are right and burst into tears.  We discussed my upbringing [nothing was ever good enough, I was always driven to produce more, more, more, work harder and longer than the previous day], the fact that I truly do love to work [you may think me strange, but I do!], how I feel when I "take breaks" [guilty, useless, etc], that whether I am self employed or an employee I work just as hard, just as long, just as much [if you know me well or have for very long, you know this is true!], and more.  He let me know that he believes this has gone on so long that I am depressed.  I couldn't argue.  We discussed additional diet changes over and above my already healthy diet.  We discussed what I am currently doing, what we will continue and a few things we will discontinue.  We discussed additional concerns from symptoms I am experiencing and he has ordered more tests to rule a few things out based off of concerns he has that these things are signs of other issues that must be looked at [I don't feel privy to go into details here].  If we were only dealing with Adrenal Fatigue, that would be one thing, but we are not.  I will followup in June with him again after an X-Ray, two sets of Lab work, and an appointment with a specialist.  


Am I scared?  No.  Concerned?  Yes.  Beyond frustrated?  Absolutely.


Though I have made heaps of progress in many aspects of feeling stressed, being stressed, and how I react to stress, the fact is that my body is stressed [even if I don't "feel" it] and I am going to be forced to make more changes.  Exactly what these changes will be, I don't know yet...my brain hurts today to think about it.  


Right now, I just want to cry.