Since being in California for my Dad's Memorial, Mindy and I have had some text messages back and forth. I have answered questions and made chit chat. It hasn't been every day, but it has been way more frequent then we had before. I have wanted to take the opportunity to show her I care and will communicate if she will not be rude and hang up on me, not yell at me with angry words and foul language, and if she can be nice. We have not had communication since early 2010 when she texted me and told me to take her out of my will and then in August 2011 when she messaged me on Facebook telling me that even if I ever left "The Group" she had no interest, that she would not ready any mail or messages I sent and would discard them immediately, because my cruelty was beyond imagination.
Today she wrote this:
I thought you would have cared enough to tell me you've changed instead of finding it out other ways. That's what. Its just shocking to find you've been so judgmental about so many things when actually, you've been doing them all along. Not being open about it makes it seem like you don't think its a big deal. Since you've never been treated by the group in the same way when you didn't have friends, its a different experience. People who were treated differently (ostracized, judged, isolated, cruelly) have been telling me you may never understand. It just shows me that you don't care that much. That you thin you can undo all that in a breakfast. When you've been left to die by people (litersally) it just takes a lot more than words to regain a place of trust and reliance and a relationship. The fact that you didn't tell me about all the changes upfront seems really bizarre to me. Like you just let me find out like you didn't care.
The message hurt. It holds truth and untruths.
I prayed for God to give me the words and wisdom to respond. I then texted back:
Mindy, I would love to respond. I have class this morning and then am working with a client the rest of the day. I will respond to your last few texts. Love you!
Please pray for me that I will know how to show Gods love and answer these accusations, if they should be answered. I would love the opportunity to share with her what has changed in my life and what hasn't. I would love to let her know that many of her assumptions are wrong. I would love to get across to her that I love her. Really love her.