So I have been actively doing the dating scene for 6 weeks since going live on two online datings sites. The questions these guys ask sometimes are interesting, and this was one of them. Do You believe there is One Person for you?
On a date, this guy asked me if I believe that there is one person for you. An interesting question. He believes there is. I don't. We discussed it and I am going to share my thoughts with you as to why I don't believe that.
Do I believe that you are attracted to certain types of people? Yes.
Do I believe that there is someone out there for you? Yes.
Do I believe that there is only one person out there for you? No.
Here is why.
Is there one house for you? One car for you? One job for you? No. Depending on what state you decide to settle in there may me one or two different houses for you, but you will find the best one that is the best match at that time within your budget, the location within the area you will work or are willing to commute to, one that is closest to your friends if that is of importance to you, one that fits the rural or city lifestyle you desire, etc. There are multiple choices, but at the time that you decide you are house hunting, or car shopping, or job searching, you will find the one that is the best fit for where you are in life at that time. The one that will provide for your needs at that time. If you decide none of these work for you, you will wait and keep either decide to keep pursuing it or put it on the back burner until a future date when you are ready to begin the search again. You may decide to force it to happen and pay the consequences of not having done enough research into the house. You may get a bad house because you didn't get it inspected or it had issues that you either ignored or thought were not a big deal or were not aware of. All of these things are possibilities and how you approach the decision making process and how much you seek input from others, do your own research, utilize those that can give you facts about the house, and what you are willing to spend to make it happen.
It's simple. And I believe dating and choosing a spouse is much the same way.
I am 37. Never dated. Never had a boyfriend. Does that mean for the last 20 years that there have not been men that I could have dated or had as a boyfriend? No. Does that mean that because I wasn't dating or interested in dating that the one person that was out there for me is now with someone else? No. Does that mean that because I passed up that one person that maybe there is no one person for me? No. Does that mean that I will now find that one person since I am in the process of evaluating the dating scene and checking things out? No.
I believe it is exactly the same as house hunting. Where I am in life now will attract the person that is right for me now. The person that will fit what I need now. The person that will help me to grow and become a better person than I am now. It is a choice and when and if I ever make that choice, I will decide to grow with that person for life. Our relationship may change, but they will always be mine and I will always be theirs. I believe there are many options for a spouse and that we make the choice to love that person and make it work. Does that mean it isn't a perfect fit if you don't find the one? Yes, it can be, but I don't believe there is one person that fits that or we would not be attracted to various types of people. Is there one person that is above the rest? Yes, I believe there are levels to the relationship that make someone a better match for you then someone else, but to think that only one person can fit that mix, No, I don't believe that. The rest of life and how God created relationships doesn't align like that and I don't think this does either. So now dude, I don't believe there is one person for you, but when you find the person you want, they will be your one person!