Saturday, December 20, 2014

the break in blogging...

You know I love to blog.  I love to write.  I enjoy dialogue.  Asking Questions.  Thinking about things.  Sharing my heart.  Sharing in your journey.

I took a break in blogging...

...at least publicly.  In that I blogged and wrote in my journal, but either posted the posts privately or just saved the posts and didn't publish them at all.

Why you might ask?

For several reasons.  

First, I have been working on some deep roots and things from my childhood, upbringing, training, concepts of truth, readdressing my spiritual journey, learning and relearning things, and the intense growth process has been at times very challenging and hard to share with you.  I have felt I needed to create some space.  I needed some time to process without putting it all out there.  

Second, when I launched into the online dating scene, it became difficult to manage all the things I was involved in both in my personal life and business life, and I had to cut some of them out.  Blogging got reduced.  Time management had to be redistributed.  

Third, I have needed to process some of the criticism and negative feedback that I have gotten over how much I choose, consciously, to share with you about my Courageous  Journey.  I have had to face the people pleasing tendencies that I have had from a different perspective and address them.

Was the move to not blog a good thing?  Did it help, do more good or did it create more alarm when you didn't hear from me?  Was my decision to not publish because I feared what you thought of me or because I really needed space?  Did I left my feelings of being so overwhelmed at times that I couldn't post prevent me from sharing when I should have shared?  

Those are good questions and I am not sure that I have the complete answer.  Either way, I did what I felt I should at the time.

The removal of layers to this onion is still in process.  As it is in each of our lives.  The growth in my personal life has been very horrific this year.  The challenges at times have been more than I thought I would face or were possible in certain phases of this journey.  The hurt that I have experienced in a handful of situations has been devastating.  However, I am committed to continuing this process, no matter how difficult it is and no matter the results.  I know there will continue to be people who will agree or disagree with my choices, my decisions, my actions, my journey, who judge me, are unable to love me or show support, based on their perceptions of me, my life and their beliefs of what is truth.  I choose to give them space to be who they need to be.  My goal is not to create any more pain in their life and if being a part of mine, seeing my journey hurts you, I understand you moving away from me.

In the midst of this, my desire to encourage, love, support and inspire you continues.  It is the core of who I am and who I want to be.  

I pray that the work I have done in my life is evident to you and the truth of everything you learn about me can only help you to love me more, not create hate, distrust or resentment towards me.

With that in mind, I want you to know that I plan to publish some back posts.  You may or may not read them.  You may or may not want to follow my journey.  Either way, I love you just the same.  My blog will not be written for approval or based on your approval.  It will be The Life Of Misty with God right by my side as I focus on continuing to Be Courageous, Be Generous and Be Loving!

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