Thursday, January 23, 2014

travels to LiveBIG in SLC

Again, I experienced a rough night of sleep.  Awake at 5am.  Finish packing and head to a clients office.  A day packed with conference calls, meetings and training sessions.  I worked solidly up until the slotted time I had let my client know I would be leaving (4pm) and was walking down the stairwell at 4.10pm, proud that I was that much on time in light of all I had to still do at 5 minutes to 4pm.  {Truly, this was cutting it too close, but its the way I do things because I don't want to disappoint my client, so I push the line and make it crunched for myself.}  

Now for the rush to the airport.  15 minutes from the airport, we come to a deadlock.  Dead stuck in traffic.  I made the quick decision to change my route and go the north side entrance.  Probably was not the best decision because 10 minutes down the rode I got stuck in another deadlock.

Park the car.  Grab my stuff.  Get on the bus to head to the terminal.  Print my luggage slip to check my bag hurry off to the airport security check point.  Waiting in line, I realize I don't have my boarding pass.  Get out of line, head back to the self checkin I used and retrieved it.  Back in line, now 10 more people ahead of me.  Awwwhhhhhhh, some things just happen like this.

Once through security I hurried to the gate with 30 minutes to spare.  No decent food around the gate and I decided I would just grab something when I got to Salt Lake City as it was only a 2.5 hour flight.  {Clearly was no thinking about my body and that you don't get food on the plane.  Mistake.}

I was flying American Airlines.  We had two seats on the left side of the plane and 3 on the right.  I was next to an Engineer from Ukraine.  When the stewardess came by, I ordered water, a glass of red wine and some hummus and crackers.  In doing so, I made a casual comment that I had not anticipated this would be my dinner.  He laughed and we started chatting.  He was very smart.  Showed me pictures of his wife and two kids.  Shared with me what he does in his work, how much he travels, how he works with business owners, how he loves to read, follows motivational speakers, love good quotes.  He shared these with me:
Be All In
We discussed what it meant to be all in.  It was interesting.

He then shared what his definition of Success was:
Success = enthusiasm, determination, commitment, and passion
He then asked what I was going to Salt Lake City for.  I explained.  He then said to me, you seem to already have your act together and that you don't need this. I told him that I didn't see it that way. I explained that if you don't grow yourself, you can't grow your business.  He agreed but said that by the level of self help I already was doing he wouldn't agree that I needed to spend $597 on a conference. I didn't argue further.  Even though we shared some common connection in thoughts on training employees and business, we obviously had some differences.  I wasn't here to convince him. It didn't matter what he thought I did or didn't need.  I was going to grow me.

We begin our descent to SLC.  After circling for a bit, we are told that we are unable to land due to the weather and we are being rerouted to Las Vegas.  We will have to sit on the runway for 2.5 hours and then when cleared, we will return.  

The bulk of people on the plane took this really well.  The guy, David, I was sitting next to and I laughed about it all.  We landed.  They fueled us up.  We sat about 30 minutes and then were told that we were going to be getting off and into another plane that had equipment that would enable us to land.  This is when people got a little bit irritated.  How could this plane not have the right equipment to land.  Didn't they know what the weather was like in SLC before they left?  We joked and said, "What, does the plane not have fog lights?"

We got off the plane.  In another 45 minutes or so we boarded and within the hour we were off.  It was foggy when we returned to land at SLC Airport.  It was 12.45amCST at this point.  I was one of 5 people left waiting on luggage that started looking like it wasn't going to show.  15 minutes later it finally did.  

Off to get my rental car.

I had booked my travel through Expedia and my reservation was with Advantage.  As I approached the counter, I told the lady that I had a reservation.  She told me that she had been closed for over 30 minutes.  I said I was sorry, but I had a reservation.  She then told me, after looking at my paperwork, that I was to have been here hours ago.  I said, Yes, I am aware of that however I got here as quickly as I could as our flight was rerouted to Las Vegas due to the weather.  She said, don't have an attitude with me.  I said, I am sorry, I don't, I am just explaining.  She said, do you want me to help you or not?  I said, yes please.  She said I only have one vehicle left and it is a sport utility vehicle for $51.00 a day before taxes and airport fees.  I said, that is not what I reserved or the price in my budget.  I had reserved something really cheap for $135.00 total.  She then got really sassy at this point and said, do you want it or not miss.  At this point, I was ready to cry. No dinner.  Beyond exhausted.  Fatigue issues setting in and hitting me flat in the face.  Not only was I trying my best to deal with the situation and make the best of it, but this lady clearly was having a bad day and trying to make my life living hell.  And at the moment, I felt she was doing a dang good job at it.  I resented her attitude and decided I didn't want to rent this from her, forget the fact that it would be a gas hog and was over my budget.  I figured I could get something else at one of the other places.

Wrong.  It was Sundance Festival (still don't know what that is, but a big even and they were out of supply of rental vehicles) and also winter ski season in SLC.  I went to Dollar and asked if they could help me.  They only had one option, to put me in a mini Susuki car for $48.00 a day.  So much for saving money!!!  I was now spending $340.00.  

My body was screaming at me.  I knew I had a 30 minute drive yet even after all this got resolved.  I was angry.  I was crying out, Why God?  Why ME?  You know I was just trying to do my best and not take any more time than necessary off work so that I could not lose out on taking care of my clients and yet not get in too late and yet, look what was happening?  If you are trying to work all things for my good, Why is this happening to me???  How is this loving?  

Yes, my attitude was sour.  Really sour.  I was beginning to question why I had even come.  Why I had bothered.  My adrenal fatigue issues taking over any logical thinking.  Life clearly was being so difficult that trying to do anything was nearly impossible.

I posted on Facebook:  

Dear God.  This was not my plan.  Please be with me.  I need you.  Now.  Up 21+ Hours.  Not sure how I am gonna do this but as always, I will trust you!!!

I hit the highway and used my GPS to head towards my hotel in Sandy, Utah.  Approximately 6 minutes from where the conference was to be held. I arrived at 2.30amMT/3.30amCST.  I got into my room, hung up my hangup things and crawled in bed, now so utterly tired that sleep didn't want to come.  It finally did.  I got 3 hours and then I was up having to get ready to head to the conference.

I was feeling sick to my stomach.  My body was feverish.  My eyes glazed severely glazed, which is what happens when I don't get enough rest and my adrenals are drained.  I wasn't hungry.  I was tired.  Only tired.  I decided to get caffeine, another decision that probably wasn't best.  It only made the nausea worse.

I arrived at the conference already emotionally spent and it hadn't begun.  I truly felt myself going through the motions but my heart not in any of it.  I couldn't believe this is how things worked out.  

I spent some time in prayer, trying to calm the anxiety I felt.  Trying to refocus my life on the things that were important.  Trying to remember the thing my Granma Omi would have said - "It's a no control situation, Misty."  It was.  The things I could have controlled, I didn't.  There was no way to undo those now.  I needed to glean from it the lessons I needed to learn and make the changes.  What were those lessons?  Maybe with time I would figure out, but at the moment, my heart was hurting so deeply, I was beyond frustrated.  

I posted on Facebook:

I request your continued prayers.  My heart is aching.  My body depleted.  My soul discouraged.  My understanding of God today being questioned. I am hurting physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally...not the way I anticipated arriving to Salt Lake City, Utah for my conference.  Trying to understand God's "plans for me".

I am not one who posts much negative stuff and I got lots of response.  I got prayers sent via text messages.  I got private Facebook messages.  I got scriptures to encourage me.  I got friends showing me love.  It made it slightly more bearable, but not much. I was drained beyond anything I had faced in a long time and my body was screaming at me.  Things had gone too far.  I was starting the LiveBIG 3 Day Conference in a bad frame of mind and I knew it.  

As usual, I pushed through my feelings and went anyways, even after some people encouraged me to stay at the hotel. I obviously couldn't sleep since I woke up so early so I knew there was no used to back out of anything.  And I went.

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