Friday, November 26, 2010
I will miss you. I tried so hard to help you. Encourage you. Show you Patience and Love. Help you see the truth. Walk you thru new concepts.
I have faced a wide range of emotions the last 24hrs...anger, to feeling crushed, to pity, to sadness. I knew things were not good...you have pulled away the last 6 weeks, only come to Sunday meetings the last 3 weeks, not been taking your medicine, been defiant to others. etc. When do I push thru your walls and when do I give you space? When do I insist you need time with friends & fellowship and when do I let you make your own choices and reap the results? I know I am not responsible, but I feel like maybe I have not made as much effort the last 3 months since I was unemployed. It has been a lot harder, I must admit and I have not been as focused about calling you or having you over, though when I did you either refused or were angry at me. My heart is grieved, my soul achs, I am sad, but God's word is true...the way of the transgressor is hard. I love you Terry and would be glad to reach out and help you yet again, if you want to serve the Lord, but I will not support a lifestyle that doesn't involve the wisdom and instruction of God. You had an incredible opportunity that you have thrown away. A place to live, a life of peace, an abundance of council, a job to make money, support from disability and christian fellowship. Until you learn some lessons and face making some tough decisions, you will continue to have a hard life.
I love you more than you know...this has been really hard for me to see you go! My prayers are with you and for you to come to the end and start a new beginning!