Quotes

Worrying is using your imagination to create things you don't want.
 - unknown

[romans 5:8]

I spent a quiet morning at home today preparing for my day, before heading out for a first time experience of Sunday School, enjoying the overcast sky, the cool air after my morning walk, the lack of having to hurry out the door, praying, asking God to be with me, particularly as I continue to work through a bunch of thoughts and feelings in my heart and mind right now that are overflowing with memories and issues from my childhood since this incident with a client.  Things that are making every day life hard.  Things that I thought I had resolved and dealt with, coming back to haunt me.  Things that have created nightmares, flashbacks and heartache.  Things I would rather run from then have to face.  Things that are making me an emotional mess, which is not me, I am not a crier...but I am right now, tears brim over my eyelids and stream down my face and I fight to be able to say anything.

I have created a list on Facebook of spiritual pages, ministries, and bible companies I follow so that I can just read them as a news feed spending time with God alone in this way so that I will not see anything by my friends, networking connections, companies or pages I like.  I created this so that when I want to spend some time with God, besides His Word, I can have Facebook with Jesus or Jesus Time on Facebook [whichever way you prefer it said].  As I was reading and sorting through the things I was seeing in my news feed, this above image was posted.  It grabbed me.  It made my heart stop and Thank God for once again, being there for me, in my darkest.  The darkest parts of my life that I face when others turn away.  When people don't understand what I am facing.  When people assume you just need to "move on" or "get over it".  When people say hurtful things.  When the pain is just overwhelming.  When nothing seems to bring comfort.  When things that were once sunny get overcast, turn dark, gloomy, even rain and bring storms, God loves me.  He LOVES me!  

He loves me during this really hard time.  He knows my thoughts.  He knows what is hurting.  He knows my past.  He knows why all this is hard.  He knows that it has turned my world upside down and made it dark.  He cares, beyond it all.

Even in my darkest moment in life, He loves me!  He is the light in my dark.

Gma Potter is in heaven!

Mary Ellen Potter
1913 - 2013

This lady is a very special lady.  She had a huge heart, an awesome chuckle, a smile just for you and made you feel really special!  We adopted her as our "granma" growing up.  She introduced to Granma's Cobler - a cherry pie filling topped with a white cake mix, bits of butter and nuts (other varieties were created, but this was the original).  When she moved from California to Virginia, I wrote her every week, without fail.  It was a highlight in my life...and in hers too.  It started as a task assigned by my Mom to encourage someone else and to be a weekly duty to "keep me out of trouble" but turned into something that was heartfelt.  You will be missed my friend!

Quotes

I want to understand the mind of God, everything else is just details.
- Albert Einstein

love God. love people. share Jesus.

garage sale success!

Have you ever done a garage sale?  A BIG GARAGE SALE?  Then you know when I tell you that it was a looonnnnnnngggggggggggggg, very long day, that I mean it. 

I got up at 6am to be ready to open at 7am.  People were driving by at 6.30am hoping we were already open.  Nope.  Not yet peeps.  Give us some time to finish splashing the water on our eyelids and dreaming of coffee without madness and we will be out soon!

I have spent much of the last month, fifteen minutes here, an hour here or there, sorting through boxes, closets, drawers, reorganizing, culling items not used, and getting rid of stuff to sell.  I have worked full time for 17+ years and spent my hard earned money the last 15+ years "setting up house" for a mode and plan of being married and having kids. Neither of which has been part of God's plan for me.  None of my things I was culling and selling were "wedding gifts" or other "gifts", except one or two  or three things like a puzzle and Norman Rockwell ceramic bell.  Nearly 100% of the items I was selling were things I spent my hard earned money on.  Since I have finally realized that I have been living and planning for a life that is not what I live and neither of these things are part of my life, it is time, officially time, to move on and shape my life for what it is.

This process, was not always an easy process.  If you have never had to do something like this, you may not understand.  If JW Cotten isn't your great granpa, you may not know what it is like to keep stuff and not part with it.  I mean it!!!  Sometimes I simply had to will myself to do the right thing because it was the right thing to do and ignore the hurt to see the money spent and in reality, wasted.  You might think it is easy to part with things that you have never used or hardly used or spent money on that are still in prestige shape.  It's not.  

Who wants to get rid of pizza pans never used?  You see, I grew up eating Homemade Pizza every Friday Night.  Without Fail.  But making Pizza for one person isn't so much fun.  Especially when wheat is no longer apart of your diet.  Pizza?  But maybe someday you will have a bunch of people over and have a Pizza Party and so you keep them.  Lots of them because at home you never had enough pizza pans.

Who wants to get rid of 10 mini cheesecake springform pans never used?  I mean, it looks so fun to make mini cheesecakes or mini chocolate lovers chocolate cakes.  And that would be so easy and fun to do.  But you never have because after a long day at work or full week of work, its just not the fun thing to think about doing anymore.

Who wants to get rid of an Villa Maker indoor ice cream/sorbet/gelato maker, that has never used in 5 or 6 years since purchased brand new at Target?  I mean it is small, can make just a few servings and seems so neat to make ice cream or sorbet or gelato.  But I have never used it.  If I want sorbet, I get one scoop at either Paciugo or Baskin Robbins.  If I want gelato, I eat it at Jennifer's when she makes it.  If I want ice cream, I get a scoop for free on my Birthday from my Birthday Club Coupon from Marble Slab Creamery or Cold Stone Creamery.  I don't make Ice Cream other than for the Ice Cream Parties at church.  Who am I kidding?  Yah, just myself.  I have figured that out now.  I want to make something like this, but am I really going to eat all it makes, just me?  No.  [I later researched and should have sold this on eBay or Amazon because I could have gotten much more for it - like $65 - than the $7.50 it sold for on an asking price of $15!!!  These are the things that are utterly gut wrenching and difficult to think about and though I try not to, they still haunt me.]

Who wants to get rid of half your glass vase collection?  I have done many Bridal Showers, Baby Showers, Parties and have used my collection...but only once did I use my collection to this amount.  Though these are beautiful, things not used taking up space begin to feel like wasted stuff.  And stuff begins to feel like junk, no matter how nice it is.  You think I am joking?  Let's not mention that having all this stuff you can't use because you have to work to make a living doesn't help breed contentment, peace, and calmness.

I was the decorator for Sarah & Travis wedding...this is the Sweet Table we had at the reception following the wedding ceremony.  

I made three table cloths like this and bought nearly all the vases (other than a few already in my collection and 3 borrowed from friends) to do this arrangement.  There are 17 glass vases pictured here, which was not my any means my complete collection.  I kept 9 and sold 15 of them at the Garage Sale today.

...Yes, its a bitter sweet process.  

Even after all this, I still have more than plenty, way MORE than plenty.  I still have more work to do to create a home environment that fits my lifestyle, but I am working on it and am inspired by the beginning of this great process!

lovely Beveled Screen Glass & Wood Room Divider 

purchased June 2005 and sold today for $75!!!

The day started out very cold but as the sun came out it warmed up, though it continued to be windier then we needed and it drained your skin dry.  In the end after 9 hours and skin bright red it was a complete success!!!  We did $1800 together, of which I made $683 and spent $2 on a wooden silverware chest from Jo, so I netted $681.00!!!  Yes, much more than I thought I would and that is an incredible amount of money being that the screen pictured above was my only pricey thing other than a stereo that sold for $30.  This is $89 shy of being two house payments!  And that is exactly where the money is going to go, straight towards two extra house payments.  I am also going to take 10% and give it as a gift to those that helped me do this work because I did not do it alone.  :)  

I plan to do another garage sale at my place in 2-3 weeks and sell the 1/4 to 1/3 of stuff I brought home.  I also plan to keep up the work of simplifying and getting rid of what I do not need.

song ~ beautiful

Beautiful
by Mercy Me

Days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see too much

Chorus
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

And praying that you have the heart to fight
'Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

Chorus
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful! You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful! You're beautiful!
You are treasured
You are sacred
You are His

struggling to make sense of the emotions

The last three weeks have been incredibly tough.  In many ways, it feels like it has been eons of time and yet at the same time feels like yesterday.  I am facing nightmares.  Tears with no notice.  A lack of an appetite.  Very easily startled.  No desire to work.  No motivation or desire to do anything.  Deadlines are the only thing pushing me forward.  

Why you ask?  

The incident with a client on 03.23.2013 has rocked my world.  It has made the 1st 20 years of my life once again, very vivid.  Memories flood the brain, the heart, the body, the feelings, my very existence and I can't shake them off.  I feel  am in a funk.  Scripture doesn't seem to bring hope.  I only feel dead.  There are no words for this.  There is no way to describe the feeling to someone who has never experienced such a horrific state of life.  I have finally admitted to myself that I am fighting anger.  Anger at someone who has turned my world upside down.  Once again, anger at men in general.  All they seem to do is create pain in your life.  I have no need for them.  My life is fine without them.  To argue differently with me right now would be pointless, so please don't try.  You haven't walked in my shoes. And I wouldn't want you to!!!

Why did God allow this?  What am I to learn?  How is this supposed to be good for me?  I donno the answers to those questions yet, though at the moment I am not even trying to figure the answer out.  I know His plan for my journey is perfect and if I trust Him in this [again] He will give me the strength to face these emotions that have me turned upside down.  He will work this out for my good.  Somehow.  Someway.  It will be pieced together in the puzzle and the end result will be a picture that brings glory for Him.  Not for me.

Was I ready for this?  No.  Am I delighting in my extreme trial at the moment?  No.  I won't lie to you.  I am not taking this in stride and I am emotionally sick.  If I had my way I would run away.  Where too?  Somewhere where I didn't feel what I am feeling now.  Somewhere where I could escape.  Somewhere where it erased it all. Somewhere where I wasn't feeling pain.  For now, there is no way to escape and I must endure this.  God has called me to endure this.  For Him.  It is in that that, and only in that, that I have courage.  

Quotes

Every Champion has convictions. But perennial champions have convictions based on foundations. These foundations become his first line of defense when facing adversity.
- Seven Days In Utopia

time to clean the pool filters

Today's. Project. Big project. Getting pool ready for swimming season...cleaning filters.
Before and after.
[must tell you I was very excited, this is the first time I was able to put the whole unit back together on my own 
without having to call Mark, Rodney or Brent to come assist me 
after reaching sheer utter frustration of not having the strength or ability to get the cartridge unit locked back in place and up and running!!!]

Quotes

Following Christ isn't something that can be done halfheartedly or on the side. It is not a label we can display when it is useful.  It must be central to everything we do or are. 
- Francis Chan, Crazy Love

Matthew West Concert

my first ever Matthew West Concert

I love music!!!  I love to sing.  But if you ask me who sings the song or who wrote it, I am probably not going to know that part.  I am sure it has to do with how I was raised, on top of I don't own a bunch of CD's so I don't know singers.  I have never been to a Matthew West Concert.  For that matter, I have not been to many concerts at all.  Last Year on February 24, 2012, I went to my very first concert, it was a Phil Wickhim concert and I wasn't sure what to expect but I loved the entire evening!  

Tonight, Matthew West opened the concert with one of my very favorite songs, The Motions.  As the evening went on, I knew all but two of the songs he played and it was so fun to sing my heart out!  He shared stories and prayed.  I had tears streaming down my face many times through the evening.  It was an incredibly awesome evening of worship and praise music!!!  As Jennifer said, it was a great followup to our trip last week to Utopia, Texas!


my my nuggets from the evening:

I'm ready. Is that your heart? God is always ready and waiting!

God wants to use every chapter of your story! Even the ones that are painful and hurtful. God can write a better ending!

All of us have family trees with broken branches...stories with dysfunctional roots...each of us have the chance to break the chains. This is NOT your legacy because You are My Child, God said.

The lies in your name tag are not written in permanent marker...they CAN BE ERASED!!!

Debbie, Me & Jennifer 

(sorry it is blurry...I didn't like the other one of me, also my friends spouses were there with us long with the girls)

Quotes

In order to experience the emotions of joy and excitement, you have to experience the ones of sadness too! You can't suppress them. 
- Angela Taylor

thoughts on friendships

Nope, I am not gonna force a relationship with you. I am sorry, that's not how I work. I have had too many of those and all they do is create pain and frustration. I love you and will always love you! That's the skinny mode simply version. Believe it or not. It's your choice. Not mine.

a relationship with God

launching into Day One of a BIG Project

How can something you want to do, desperately need to do, yet be so difficult?  

When I put a bid on my house January 2007 and became the top winning bidder of 4 bids, I began the enormous project of packing up an 800 sq foot cottage and transporting it in 9 loads to a 1262 sq foot house.  During this, I had little time to sort and cull things, I just moved it all.  As I unpacked, I culled what was trash, got rid of what was junk, and removed things I didn't really need.  I had a HUGE garage sale and made several hundred dollars...several times.  In this process, I could have done even more, but I was afraid to part with things.  The following year, I was determined to get out of debt and July 2008 I started that process and was debt free (other than my house) July 2009.  In doing this, shopping was never an option, I couldn't shop and become debt free and I realized I really had no needs.  The shopping I have done since is window shopping or shopping for things I actually do need to replace items that need to be replaced, no longer work and can't be repaired.  I have wanted to move forward with having less things, but each time I try to do this, it creates deep anxiety because of the amount of money I have spent on this stuff.  I know I don't have junk.  I have nice stuff.  But stuff, lots of stuff, makes you start feeling like all you have is junk, no matter how nice it really is.  In 2010 I lost my job and in trying to find more clients to build my business to the next level to support me fully, I didn't have time to spend on minimizing what I owned.  Yet I have wanted to.  The stuff has sat stored in boxes and clear plastic containers, mostly in the house though there has been a few boxes in the garage, untouched.  In working through some things in my heart and mind, I have come to face the facts that my life is not the life I dreamed of in my childhood.  It is not the life my Mom said I would have.  It is one that holds one person who works lots of hours and simply cannot do lots of various projects and at this time, I do not foresee that picture changing.  I have decided to continue to hold onto these things is putting my frame of mind in an unhappy place.  It is forcing me to continue to live in the what if, the maybe someday, it is a constant reminder of the things I can't do, the life I don't live and the stark reality of the life my friends have.  Simply put, it isn't helping me.  

I have subscribed to a blog call Becoming Minimalist to give me ideas, encouragement, motivation, support and learn more about myself through someone who understands the process.  I haven't been able to read every post, but the ones I can, I do.  Sometimes it has inspired me.  Sometimes it has made me angry.  In the end, I decided I needed to move forward with removing these things out of my life or I am going to continue to feel weighed down by them.  I also realized that I don't believe I have the ability to completely do this on the level it needs to be done and though it caused me emotional grief, I asked for assistance from someone who is good at this.  

Therefore, it is today that I am informing you my friends that I am launching into a really big project.  I am nervous about it.  At the same time I am very anxious about how this is all going to work out!  

My anxiety was not diminishing and I was getting really apprehensive over the day.  I texted one of my prayer warriors requesting prayers for me and this is what she sent me:

Lord, I pray to you that you'll give Misty peace in this project that she will look to you for comfort and come to more fully understand that her true comfort is in you only, change comes from you, and material items can be a source of bondage.  Calm her anxieties and allow her day with Shelley to be a day to encourage one another in you.  Please, Lord, I ask these things in your name. Amen.

Additionally, I posted on Facebook and received comments of encouragement and support through prayer even though I didn't list the details to my project until later in the day when I posted a comment:

How can something you want to do, desperately need to do, yet be so difficult? I am nervous about the day and anxious about how this is all going to work out! Thankful for a friend who generously offered her help. — with Shelley Carroll.

************************************************************************************************************

Shelley and I tackled the remainder of the living room, the kitchen and garage.  I had a big stash already started in the garage, we added the same amount to it.  I am deeply thankful for Shelley's help, for dealing with my questions, my being patient when I held back, for understanding and not condemning my frustrations, for letting me have tears, for trying to understand why I am like this.  I deeply appreciate her generosity and assistance at getting this project under way.  Shelley took a car load home in her sports utility vehicle and there is another car load ready to go.  

I appreciate each of you and your prayers, your encouragement, and your support!  This is the first day at really launching into this and I am far from done.  I am embarking on getting rid of everything in my house that I have two of [unless two is required], everything that is not useful, everything that I don't need, anything that is aimed at a life I don't have or don't live, anything that I no longer use, anything that is not me, anything that just plain needs to go.  This is very hard for me...harder than you know, but I am determined.  2013 is going to be a a great remaking of me!  The goal we are working against is make money and sell all this stuff at a garage sale in two weeks at Pecan Plantation in Granbury selling all this pristine stuff.  I will keep you posted on how it goes.

song ~ words

Words
Hawk Nelson - Words (feat. Bart Millard)
From the album Made

They've made me feel like a prisoner
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king
They've lifted my heart to places I've never been
They've dragged me down back to where I began

Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart
Or put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't want to say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

You can heal the heartache
Speak over the fear
God, your voice is the only thing we need to hear

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts
Or put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't want to say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
Let the words I say
Be the sound of Your grace
I don't want to say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

I want to speak Your love
Not just another noise
I want to be Your life
I want to be Your voice

amazing grace sign

If you follow my blog, you know I didn't win a really cute sign from Manual's Benefit Dinner even though I bid on it - however I was given to me by a friends husband and I finally got it hung in my living room.

Love my sign! Thanks so much Brent Roy!!!

[romans 8:28]

my 15 Lies buried at Buried Lies Cemetery in Utopia, TX

April 2013

My most gracious and loving Lord, I write this to you to express my heart.  My desire is to serve you and you only.  My heart longs to learn more of your ways and your truth to understand Your Love for Me!  I want to Thank You for all the people who have been Johnny’s in my life [as illustrated in the movie, Seven Days in Utopia].  They have helped me along this journey to learn more of you, to fully trust you, and become who I am today.  May I continue to grow in your grace and knowledge.  May you give me wisdom to learn what is truth according to Your Word, not truth according to anyone else’s terms.  Help me to be continually grateful for all you have done for me and never lose sight of you!  As I work at growing to be the woman you want me to be, I want to take a step of faith and bury lies that I have been told, lies I have believed, lies that simply are not your truth.  This event to bury them is to help me move forward in serving you and you only!

The Lies I wish to Bury:

• You require me to meet the criteria and approval of you and others to be accepted and loved.
• The things that have happened in my life you were not a part of and were not according to your plan for my journey.
• I am wrong to associate with Christian’s outside of The Group that don’t walk in the things I have been taught, dress according to ways I have been told are wrong, fellowship in a denomination or don’t believe as I believe on any topic.
• Listening to “Secular Christian Music” is inappropriate and ungodly.
• As a Woman it is wrong for me to study your word to learn what you want of me and not just accept what I have been told or “the men” tell me.
• If I don’t do things just right you will no longer love me.  I must be perfect for you to love me.
• I am not good enough.
• As a Saved Sinner if I don’t do, say, or live the things The Group have taught, I have walked away from God.
• I am a Woman out of control since I did the NASCAR Drive Experience and NASCAR Ride-Along Experience.
• If other people disapprove of me that means that God does too.
• I am too intense, too bold, and too aggressive.
• No man will be interested in marrying me because of “my past”.
• Working to support myself, including being self employed, and even making a good living means that I have a love of money and my focus is not in the right place.
• I have not and do not honor my parents by leaving home at age 20 after years of abuse, hurt, pain, manipulation and control.
• I am going to be just like my Mom.

A Princess of the King who wishes to be your servant,

Misty

buried lies engraving
"SFT" = See it Feel it Trust it

SFT

trip to Utopia, TX with Jennifer [day2]

We stayed at Utopia on the River.  A really nice Bed n Breakfast Inn.  

Neither of us slept really well.  That's a given.  First night in a new place.  No room darkening shades or material to keep out the moon and filtered light through the wooden mini blinds.  Not the comfy bed I have.  But I did bring my own pillows.  Yup.  Always do that.

We woke up with enough time to get up and get going so we wouldn't miss brunch.  Jennifer was faster at this process then me.  I probably needed an attitude adjustment due to my lack of being rested, as I was begging for room service that didn't exist.  LOL!

Breakfast was yummy!!!  Eggs cooked how you liked, sausage patties, grits, and warm peaches. I had never had warm peaches.  They are canned peaches with a bit of cinnamon and sugar. You are supposed to eat them over biscuits, but since I don't eat wheat (at least as much lies within me) I just had a bowl of warm peaches.  Quite yummy!  Warm peaches are good.  You must try them!

We then toured the property...walked down to the river, listened to the brook, gazed at the pretty water in which you could see all the way to the bottom, watched the reflection of the trees in the water, watched birds, hiked over rocks, gazed up at the tall -VERY TALL - trees, listened to the breeze rustle through, and just relaxed.  

Cypress Tree on the Sabinal River

see VERY TALL tree?  and mini Misty at the base of it?

NOwhere we had to be.  NObody we had to talk to.  NO time constraints.  NO cell phone service.  Very spotty internet service [I couldn't get it to work at all on my phone which is just as well because the temptation to work would have been pretty high].  We could just wander aimlessly and take our time.  We, or more accurately I should report Jennifer, took pictures as we toured.

The reflection of the trees in the Sabinal River

We eventually went back to our room and got ready to go tour the town.  The small town of Utopia.  We saw items we saw coming in at night now in the day time.  We wanted to check out a few of the places in the movie and also see the sights of the town.  We wandered around checking out the little town that had only a few stores, the General Store, Lost Maples Cafe, the Library, the bank, the Senior Center [which by the way had the most cars in attendance in the parking lot], the school, and the Methodist Church.  The little church was just as it was pictured.  Lovely little place.  The door was open and you could walk in and inspect it.  I tried out the bell chimes.  Really cool!  Then we continued out of town and took out to tour the countryside.  We stopped and saw blue bonnets...gorgeous patch of them along side the road.  

Misty and The Bluebonnets

Jennifer and The Bluebonnets

As we continued along the roads we traveled, there were tons and tons and tons and tons and tons of bikers.  We went to Kerrville and ate at Rails a Cafe at the Depot, a place Jennifer found on Yelp that had outdoor patio dinning for the lovely weather we wanted to experience and was rated with lots of stars.  It was a very yummy fresh green salad and a delicious glass of red wine.    We sat on the patio for about two hours and enjoyed the weather, our food and conversation.  We discussed many things, including one event that happened in our friendship in 2007.  Jennifer had the chance to explain what was going on more behind the scenes that I wasn't aware of, though she thought I was, and how her communication was taken by me.  It was a time of sharing, revealing and encouraging as we learn to understand each other more.  I was grateful for the opportunity and for no bitterness on either side even if both of us were hurt, there is always room to be loving and share in each others lives.  We toured some more and headed back to Utopia.  We ate dinner at Lost Maples Cafe.  I ordered the special of Shrimp with a Baked Potato and Cole Slaw and it came with two Hush Puppies, absolutely the best I have ever eaten.  Might just convert me to like Hush Puppies as I am not a Hush Puppy fan!!!  Our experience there gave us much laughter.  Our waitress was the sister to one of the guys who was cooking.  They were having words with each other.  I presume Mom told them to knock it off as "she" had tables to wait and they could resume their words at home after work.  Wish I could remember exactly how it was said and what all was said as it was downright hilarious!  You knew you were in a small country cafe for this to be happening.  We attempted photos of the two of us outside before leaving but with the dusk lighting and self portraits that I can't seem to manage nicely without creating a double chin, it made it challenging and we gave up.  We then headed back to Utopia on the River, our Bed & Breakfast for another night.  We crawled in bed and Jennifer poured me a glass of red wine that I had brought [I had been given it on Wednesday when a Provider Relations Representative for one of the main healthplans one of my client contracts with gave it to me as a gift because of the HUGE recoupment fiasco they have done in a one week time with no notice that has created a cash flow crisis, which was done against state and federal laws that we have been trying to get to the bottom of] and I brought that with me, I thought it would be fun to share it, and we did.  While we were in bed, I asked Jennifer if she would want to read my list of 15 lies I had created to bury the next day at Buried Lies Cemetery in Utopia, TX, and she did.  I was not prepared for Jennifer's response.  She was floored at my list because she was only thinking of the things that came as baggage from your childhood as was in the movie [I won't spoil it in case you haven't seen it and want to].  I told her but that isn't all the lies I have in my life, though believe me there is a good stash of them from my childhood that haunt my life daily.  She stated this is one reason she likes Bible Studies is because of the sharing and input you get from others.  She had never seen it the way I saw it and truly was amazed at my list.  She agreed that I was correct that childhood lies are not all there is and made her own list the next morning.  She didn't share it with me [didn't need to] but I know that the exercise for me was an incredible experience and I hope it was for her too!  I must tell you to write them out...was HUGE!  I truly want the experience to be a fresh new start at least on these 15 lies.  When they occur, I want to tell myself that I have buried those lies, they no longer are alive.  The are dead.  They can never be retrieved.  I believe this will give me the courage to learn the truth and fight the lies.  More about this process and all that in another post.

We then called it a night, grateful for the relaxing experience we had had thus far, safety on our trip, encouragement we both received in sharing and hoped that we both would get a better nights rest the second night.  

...Don't forget, Jennifer took most all of the photo's on the trip, so I will insert more pictures later.

trip to Utopia, TX with Jennifer [day1]

When I had surgery last October 2012, one of my friends [Jennifer] recommended I watch a movie on her Netflix account.  I did.  You can read my nuggets and takeaways from that film here.  

The movie was an emotional experience for me.  It moved me and impacted my life tremendously and significantly.  After watching the movie, I did some research on the film as it is a real place here in Texas and is based on some facts, not 100% made up.  I was amazed at the thought that went into the movie.  Jennifer came over and saw me during my surgery recouperation and I shared a lot of the information with her.  The more we talked the more Jennifer wanted to go there when she learned it was a real place and "In Texas"!  We made conversation following that day many times about going there "someday".  I finally told her a month ago lets quit talking about it and make a date.  We did:  April 4th 2013 - April 6th 2013.

In case you haven't seen the movie, I won't give away the punch line, but as one who can count how many movies I have seen, I would recommend this one, highly recommend, this one and tell you it is one of my top 5 [even if everyone laughs at me and says how can you say it is one of your top 5 when you probably have only seen 5?].  Technically, I have seen a few more than 5 and yes, it still is one of my top 5!!!  

In preparation for the time, I told Jennifer that I wanted to make a list of my lies and bury them.  The website for Seven Days in Utopia says you can mail in the lies and they will bury them for you if you can't or don't want to make the trip to begin your sacred journey.  Read this link if you want to learn about it.  A week before our trip, I finally began making my list of lies to bury.  You can read the post my 15 Lies buried at Buried Lies Cemetery in Utopia, TX.  This was an incredible experience and I will save those details for another blog post otherwise that will consume the rest of the page here and you won't get the details of our trip.

We headed out Thursday at about 1pm.  We had no agenda and no details on having to be anywhere at any time.  Enroute we decided to stop at the outlet mall and shop for maybe two hours?  It was fun!  We proceeded to take I35 south towards Austin and when we were approaching traffic, Jennifer suggested we take the loop that bypasses all that.  I told her give me directions and we would go.  Well the GPS said to hang left and it didn't look right or feel right and I went right.  Opps.  No going through the bypass, we now were stuck in traffic.  Ugh.  Or was that a plus because if we had done the bypass we would not have then eaten at Torchy's Taco's???!!!

...BTW:  Jennifer took most all of the photo's on the trip, so I will insert pictures later.

We chatted the entire way to Utopia, TX...didn't run out of things to talk about and many times were interrupting each other with all the details, extra comments, and don't forget to let me tell you about this subject either.  Yup...that's what happens when you don't spend enough time with your girlfriends!

We had a great drive down and arrived at our bed and breakfast that evening a little after 9pm.  The place was quiet, quaint and the hosts were very friendly!  We unloaded and crawled in for the night!

Quotes

You & God are the majority.
- Joel Osteen

song ~ you are

You Are
by  Colton Dixon

When I can’t find the words to say how much it hurts 
You are the healing in my heart 
When all that I can see are broken memories 
You are the light that’s in the dark 

Chorus: 
You are the song, 
You are the song I’m singing. 
You are the air, 
You are the air I’m breathing 
You are the hope, 
You are the hope I needed. 
Whoa

You are 

And when my circumstance leaves me with empty hands. 
You are the provider of my needs. 
When all my dirtiness has left me helpless. 
You are the rain that washes me. 

Chorus: (2x) 
You are the song 
You are the song I’m singing. 
You are the air, 
You are the air I’m breathing 
You are the hope, 
You are the hope I needed. 
Whoa

(x2) If I had no voice, 
If I had no tongue, 
I would dance for you like the rising sun. 
And when that day comes and I see your face. 
I will shout your endless glorious praise. 

Chorus: (2x) 
You are the song I’m singing. 
You are the air, 
You are the air I’m breathing 
You are the hope, 
You are the hope I needed. 
Whoa

Quotes

this is too funny and sooooooo true!