more family rules

two of these I want to add to the one I make...

proverbs 3:6

Seek His will in all you do and He will show you which path to take.
 - NLT

this family list

love this one too!!! I want to make my own version...

Counseling Session #19

I didn't do well at my homework.  I seem to be stuck.  

My counselor asked me questions.  What was the hardest part of writing your story?  She is amazed at how I did it and stated most people can not do what I did in all aspects of remembering, writing, reading, and hearing the story.  I am not surprised.  I was determined to do this, even though it was one of the hardest things I have EVER done.  

We discussed the reactions to my story by others.  The things I still question.  The need for validation and reassurance.  The steps to read, acknowledge and accept my story.  The steps to grieving my childhood.

Homework:  

• Write a review of what I got out of telling my story.  [Worst Part.  Best Part.  What didn't I get out of it that I had hoped to?  How I felt?  How I relate to my family?  Myself?
• Write 2 or 3 personal goals since writing my story.

our family rules

love this!!! I want to make my own version...

Quotes

Referring to the Bible: It's a weapon of mass instruction. A love letter from Almighty God...that says I am for you! 
- Jase Robertson, Duck Dynasty

2nd Testimony with IAmSecondBracelet

I wrote about my I Am Second bracelet that I purchased and the 1st experience I had sharing with someone about it here.  I have had some small experiences, some people who will say "I love your I Am Second bracelet" or "I love what they are about".  This week, I had another big experience.

I was working at a clients office, meeting with a representative of an IPA that does their Credentialing & Contracting Services.  We have had issues for several months and though I have spent gobs of time trying to get them to resolve the problems, they have been very inept at it.  I asked for an onsite meeting.

We had been talking for a good 30 minutes or so and during an interval between topics, Kristine stopped me and asked me what the message was on my bracelet.  I wear it with the message pointed at me.  Many of these types of bands, most people wear with the message pointed out towards the fingers so the other person can read it.  I wear it on my left hand with the wording directly towards me so that I can read it.

Not knowing where the conversation would go, I kept it simple.  "It say's I Am Second."  She said "What is that?  I have never heard of it."  I took a deep breath, not wanting to get all "churchy" on her, I smiled and said, "In a nutshell it is the message that God is First in my life and I am Second.  They have a website with lots of testimonials at www.IAmSecond.com."  She immediately said, "That is cool".  Nothing more about it.  So I  said "Yes, it is." and said nothing more.

As things worked, the next day I got an email from IAmSecond. I forwarded it to my business email account.  I then sent it to her with a simple message:  

Kristine, 

Here is my email today from I Am Second.  Check them out at www.iamsecond.com.  Let me know what you think!  

Guess what?  I got a response from her today:  

Misty, thank you.  So thoughtful of you to send this to me.  I’m sure you know how rare it is to share faith with people in today’s world and in the work place in general.  I know I already have more blessings then I deserve.  Heaven to ground me and a family that always calls me home.  At the end of the day, I just pray every day I have a life that’s good.  It was a blessing to meet you.  GOD’s speed.  Everything else is just stuff…..Thanks again, Kris

Is she a believer?  Does she love God?  Does she have a relationship with him?  People speak of God and blessings yet may not really understand either.  I don't have to figure out if she is or isn't.  My journey is to share the gospel, to encourage, to plant seeds.  It is little seeds that get sown that matter.  Seeds of God's Love.  Seeds of his forgiveness.  Seeds of his grace.  Seeds of what he has done for us by redeeming us.  Seeds of kindness.  Seeds of faith.

My I Am Second bracelet is allowing me to do just that...share the gospel, encourage, plant seeds.  I am blown away at the ways God works and the people he brings on my journey.  I pray that I am a reflection and continue to pursue a life of living I Am Second.

song ~ brave

Brave
by Sara Bareilles


You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

does your light shine?

I have been thinking about the song we learn as little kids:

This little light of mine, I am gonna let it shine.

What is our light?  How do we let it shine?  Who are we shinning it to?

Our light can be our spirit of giving.  Our spirit of love.  Our spirit of comfort.  Our spirit of a smile.  Our spirit of joy.  Our spirit through a hug.  Our spirit in listening.  Our spirit in a word of encouragement.  Our spirit of support.  Our spirit of kindness.  Our spirit of peace.  Our spirit of prayer.  Our spirit of patience.  Our spirit of courage.  Our spirit of faith.

Our light is showing the spirit of God...in everything we do...to everyone our lives touch.

We may touch them in a fleeting second at the drive through window.  We may pass them on the road.  We may speak to them on the phone before they transfer us to someone else.  We may work with them weekly on a project.  But however long or short our interaction is with them, our spirit will be felt...on one way or another.  

The true light is Jesus.  And if that light is alive and lite within us, it can't be hid.  It will sneak out, through the cracks in the walls.  It will create a warmth that can be felt even if the beam is not seen.

Impressive to think about?  As I have thought about the ways our light shines it makes me want to be more purposeful in sharing my light...letting its beam be reflected off me to others.  In simple small ways.  Let your light shine!

Counseling Session #18

Today we reviewed the plan.  Plan is to: 

• Touch the pain
• Deal with the hurt
• Put the past in perspective

What I have accomplished:

• I am embracing my story.
• I am recognizing behaviors and hurts I still carry with me.

New Goal:

• Write about life since then.  Include struggles, triumphs, challenges, and [family] issues.

Quotes

We don’t need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it.
 - Donald Horban

psalm 139:1-3

donation of time and skills for charity

spent the day making childrens pillowcases for Cook Children's Hospital
...and squeezed in some Aunt Misty time too!

living so your life matters

Your fingerprints are all over the world around you – offering perspective that only you can, healing hurts that only you can, shaping the future as only you can. 
- Chance Scoggins

[read full post here: http://www.chancescoggins.com/living-so-your-life-matters]

why do I {we} not learn lessons?

I wanted to share a conversation the other day with a girlfriend.  

She was sharing with me her frustrations with herself that she doesn't seem to get these lessons, lessons she feels she should know and not have to repeat.  The lesson about giving it all to God, not trying to take it back into her own hands.  The lessons of not thinking that it is all required on her to do and that God won't help.  Those kinds of lessons.

I understand being frustrated with yourself when you feel you should get a lesson, or berating yourself because by now should have gotten a lesson.  However I shared a thought with her that she found interesting, so I share with you...in case you do this same thing or have these same thoughts.

As we are little kids, we are taught that if we just try, we can.  If we just take that first step, we can walk.  If we just try, we can learn to read, write, play an instrument, speak a hard word, make cookies, go sit on granpa and granma's lap, etc.  We are not taught, you must pray about this and God will give you strength to take your first step.  We are taught we are capable, if we will just do it.  We are taught that it depends on us to get something done.  We get told, "Try to do it on your own and if you can't, then call me."   We are taught to seek help from ourselves first before we seek help from others.

Please don't mistake me.  We are capable!  God designed us to be.  And I believe He absolutely wants us to be!!!  He created us in His image and we are reflections of Him.  There are also aspects of teaching and learning that you must be shoved out to ride that bike on your own or you will be dependent on others and never learn the art of riding a bike.  

But our first instinct is not to seek God.  It is to fix it ourselves. To make a plan on our own.  To forge ahead without seeking Him to guide us.  This is what takes learning.  This is where we face lessons to learn what it means to seek God and to trust Him.  And to listen to His Spirit communicate with ours.  Does that mean we sit back and do nothing?  No, I don't believe that is what it means either.  It is a balance.  To pray and create that relationship with Him over everything.  To trust that He has my absolute best desire at heart and is going to work all the details out that will be My Story and fit My Journey, even if I don't consider it good, it will be worked out for good.

Maybe you are one of those parents that teach this not only as an example but in instruction in the growing and learning years to your child.  I only can tell you, I wasn't taught such things.  I have had to learn the hard way.  

I am working at not being frustrated with myself for these lessons.  Blaming myself doesn't make it easier.  Being negative doesn't make the battle go away.  Just as a teacher has to reinforce the concepts to us during our years of schooling, I am having to reinforce these principles daily, repeatedly, relentlessly, in my walk.  

Some of these lessons will be tests.  I will fail.  But I pray I learn and that I grow stronger as I develop the character God is building in me.

Psalm 31:14 
But I trust in you, Lord; I say, "You are my God." [NIV]

Quotes

Give it all to God. You have a plan...but God wants to use you. Be strong and courageous. Don't be discouraged by the size of the task. Because God is with you!!! 
- Britt Nicole

{taking} a break.

Life has been strange.  It has been hard to figure out.  It has been difficult to transition through some of the changes. 

I made progress on my counseling up until my trip to Tennessee.  Upon returning and resuming this past month, I can't seem to get back on track.  I haven't wanted to quit because of what I feel still has left to be done.  But my heart isn't in it.  

Is it just because I am exhausted?  Is it because I am not feeling well?  Maybe.  This is one of the worst times of the year for allergies.  I was sick for 2.5 weeks...and though I am not coughing like I was, I can't sleep at night for the extreme effect my allergies are having on my breathing, even with an inhaler.  We are at week 6 or 7 like this...and we will be until the cold snap hits and kills this mess.  Extreme allergies make one feel utterly exhausted, all the time, even after some sleep.  On top of that, the hormones have decided to take a new turn since nearing the one year mark.  They have not followed any normal pattern and I am not scheduled for an appointment for 3 more months.

I keep pressing on, knowing that in time, the Lord will bring answers, direction, help to what I am facing, but for now, they aren't there.  That usually means He is asking me to be patient and trust Him.  

I keep focusing on what is important, what the end goal is, trying to make it through the days, trying to cope, but inwardly feel I am falling apart.  I am easily discouraged.  Even with my mission and focus on allowing no stress in, it still is there.  The thought of running away to somewhere unknown is enticing.

Am I just burned out?  Or is it that I am discouraged?  

If I step back and assess, I know God loves me but right now He feels far away.  I don't feel as I felt a few weeks ago.

I know He has a plan through all that has transpired this year in my personal life and I absolutely know all this is working in me for the next part of the plan.  I just don't seem to be aligning the pieces very well to understand this picture.

I need some time to reflect more and pray.  

For now, anything that can be cut out  - Facebook, emailing, extra things beyond the basics life requires or that are already on the books - will be until I can manage the feelings I am working through and have a clearer image of where God wants me to be.

Quotes

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.
 - Dale Carnegie

my life purpose [right now]

My goal is to live in the present, embracing the work God is doing in my life, however hard it may be, wherever the path may take me. 

What are His plans? What is His dream for me? What assignment does He have for me? 

I only know that I don't want to waste any time. I want to enjoy the fruitful, meaningful life God designed me to live...completely. 

I want to lead with love and courage.

Quotes

Who you are...what you do cannot be hidden. The past will make you depressed...that's why Jesus died for you. We have hope in the resurrection. Have joy and peace living in the moment!!! 
- Jase Robertson, Duck Dynasty

[keep calm]

1 Year Post Surgery

Today is my anniversary.  It's been a year, One Full Year, since Surgery.

You might think me crazy.  You might not understand.  But if I could explain to you why I will celebrate, you undoubtedly would celebrate with me too!!!

Without listing all the positive reasons why this has been a huge blessing in my life and bore you with details that would make you shake your head...just trust me when I tell you that I am blessed.  Even if I have challenges yet to get things aligned to be the new me, I am blessed!!!

Quotes

Too many times the world knows who/what we are against and not who/what we are for.
 - Roger Frankhauser

Quotes

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
~ Robert A Heinlein

Counseling Session #17

I went to counseling, frustrated with myself, as I had not done my homework, yet again.  My counselor decided we would do it together, during today's session.

I made a list of Negative Characteristics of my Dad.

I made a list of Negative Characteristics of my Mom.

I made a list of Positive Characteristics of my Dad.

I made a list of Positive Characteristics of my Mom.

I then made a statement of What I wanted and needed most as a child was:

I reviewed and described Positive Events and my Feelings and Reactions to them.

I reviewed and described Negative Events and my Feelings and Reactions to them.

Assessment:

• I always go to blaming myself.  My counselor questioned me, is that rational?
• I am not the reason my parents treated me this way, but I continue to feel and believe that.
• My counselor reminded me yet again how abnormal my home life was.  This is very hard to accept.

I Corinthians 16:14

broken can be beautiful...

Quotes

song ~ cries of the city

Cries of the City
Avion Blackman


I woke up early in the morning
The sun was glaring in my eyes
The sirens crying in the city
They're off to save another life

They cry woe, is anybody listening?
They cry woe, does anybody hear?
They cry woe, is anybody listening?
They scream woe, does anybody care?

My next door neighbor has a baby
She is only 6 months old
She cries all night, it drives me crazy
Whenever she's hungry, dirty or she's cold
She cries woe, is anybody listening?
She cries woe, does anybody care?
She cries woe, I need someone's attention
To rescue me from such despair

A million voices in the city
And they're singing the same song
Lonely hearts in desperation
Searching for strength to carry on
You see everyone's longing for affection
It's something we rarely do receive
We just want to be wanted
To be loved, it is all that we need

We cry woe, is anybody listening?
We cry woe, does anybody care?
We cry woe, I need someone to save me
And rescue me from such despair

Is there anybody there to hear them calling?
Is there anybody there to hear them cry?
Is there anybody there to hear them calling?
He is there with you, He is there with you
He is there with you, He hears your cries
He is there with you and He'll never leave you
He is there with you

You see the preacher on the corner
He stands there every afternoon
He reads his Bible and tries to warn ya
That the Lord is coming soon.

Quotes