Quotes

If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough.
- Oprah Winfrey

brunch w/friends

I got a brief time with Stuart & Crystal and the kids...we met for Brunch.

Emme, me & Gray

I didn't get the memo that it was funny face time! my sweet peeps...LOVE being Aunt Misty Gilbert!

{Will add a picture of Crystal & I later when she sends it to me}

Quotes

Quotes

We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
 — Dr. Stephen Covey

not exactly single

finally one of these things speaks my language!

thoughts on Christmas

As I continue to reflect on the truth of God's Word and the truth I have been told and learned over my life, I have some thoughts to share with you regards to Christmas.

I am 37 years old and have never celebrated Christmas.  Yes, as one of friends son from my Bible Study Group said to me, "Never celebrated Christmas?  Like even when you were  a kid?"  I responded, "Yup.  Even when I was a kid."  He stood there looking at me in utter shock for quite some time trying to absorb this concept that seemed utterly unattainable to comprehend.  

Growing up, I was told multiple reasons from my parents as to why we didn't, shouldn't or wouldn't.  I don't know that I have never really stopped and questioned the reasons I was given and as I have been considering those "reasons", I wish to share my thoughts with you on some of them. If I did an exhaustive list as to all the reasons why we didn't celebrate Christmas, this would be a horribly long post and none of us have time for that.  Nor do I want this to turn into a rant, I simply want to share some of my reflecting and encourage you to stop and ask questions and search for the truth.

1. REASON I WAS TOLD:  We don't know what day Jesus was born.  God didn't tell us.  Anything he wanted us to know or do in the bible he gave instruction for how we were to live.  Since we don't know when he was born and he didn't tell us, he doesn't want us to celebrate his birth.
2. REASON I WAS TOLD: We should celebrate Jesus every day of the year, not just his birth (or his death).  Therefore we will not just celebrate Him on this day.
3. REASON I WAS TOLD:  Christmas is commercialized.  It is not about God.  It is about selfishness with a MeMe attitude about what you get, Santa, Snowman, Elf's, Gingerbread Houses, etc.  If it was about God, why don't people do things for God instead of themselves?  We will not support a commercialized day.
4. REASON I WAS TOLD:  Christmas is a pagan Holiday.  Since we do not support any pagan activities, we will not partake of this day either.
5. REASON I WAS TOLD:  Christmas means Christ kill.  "Mas" means to kill.  Why would you celebrate a birth with this term?  We don't.
6. REASON I WAS TOLD:  People tell their kids they are going to get presents from Santa if they are good, if they are naughty they won't, yet all kids get presents anyways.  What does this teach your children?  Santa is a lie and we won't lie to you.
7. REASON I WAS TOLD:  People say Christmas is about giving.  We should not be giving just one day a year, so we are not going to do good things just on Christmas so in order to avoid being matched with those kinds of people we are not going to do any giving on Christmas.

This is not an exhaustive list, it is a few reasons I was given.  So here are my thoughts on those 7 reasons.

1. REFLECTION on REASON #1:  Yes, we don't know what day Jesus was born.  We don't know the exact day anyone in the Bible was born as we do Birthday's in society today.  Mom told me that Dad really didn't want us to celebrate birthday's because every account of them in the Bible was bad.  After much discussion, he gave in on this.  I don't know whether this is true or not as I have not gone to the Bible to prove it.  However, have you thought about the fact that God didn't tell you to celebrate YOUR birthday either?  So, since he didn't tell you to, does that mean he doesn't want you to and you shouldn't?  Do you think in reality that this actually has more to do with what he wants you to do in celebration of your birthday then if you do or don't actually celebrate it?  Did God tell us everything he wanted us to do in life?  No, the Bible doesn't contain an exhaustive list.  God wants to have a relationship with you to help you know what he wants you to be about in your life and journey here.  The things that were told to us, if you want to call them hard and fast rules, he has given those things to us to believe and follow.
2. REFLECTION on REASON #2:  Do you want to be celebrated every day of the year as a special person, loved and treasured by God, or just on your birthday?  When I celebrate with you on your birthday, does that mean I only celebrate you on your day of birth?  I am not married, but an you imagine if I was and my husband coming and saying, Misty, I love you dearly but I don't want to celebrate our anniversary for fear you will make an idol out of this day and I really do love you each and every day of the year so we won't celebrate this day as being any more special.  I mean, you would look at my husband and think he had lost his ability to be logical, wouldn't you?  Who wouldn't celebrate their anniversary with the love of their life???  Of course we should celebrate God every day of the year!!!  If you are only celebrating him on one day you are missing out on a joyous relationship!!!  He is more than LIFE.  Would it be wrong to take one day and worship him to an even greater level?  Any more than it is that we celebrate you one special day a year?  He is worthy of our love.  Worthy of our praise.  Worthy of our admiration.  He is God!
3. REFLECTION on REASON #3:  Anything can become commercialized.  Marketing will turn it into that.  People will turn it into that.  Anything can and will become not all about God if you don't make God your focus.  I personally don't care for all the commercialism that exists in life, whether related to Christmas or not.  You can embrace the commercialism or keep it out of your life.  But just because someone else has commercialized something doesn't mean its wrong, it just means they have made a way to make it big and make money on it.  I beg you to find one thing you use in life that has not become commercialized.
4. REFLECTION on REASON #4:  Are there any Holiday's that are not pagan?  If so, does that make them better?  If they were "religious" would that make it approved in your book?  Is Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday pagan or religious, or a day God gave us to serve Him?  We have made Sunday the day of Sabbath, but do we truly know if that is the day the Lord wants us to rest or does he want us to take one of the 7 days we are given each week and rest?
5. REFLECTION on REASON #5:  I do not find any resource online to substantiate the definition of Christmas that was given to me by my Dad.  I regret I used this term as a reason I didn't celebrate it with kids I went to school with, teachers, coworkers, bosses, strangers I met that checked me out at a store, the bank teller, etc.  In fact I find that "Mas" means mission {read wikipedia here for their account of the definition of mass and here for the definition of Christmas}.  A day dedication to Christ's Mission I think is a lovely reflection on what he was for us.
6. REFLECTION on REASON #6:  Is giving and loving people supposed to be based on if they are good vs if they are bad?  No.  Are reward programs and things of that nature based on conduct and criteria?  Yes.  Is your birthday supposed to be based off of this?  No.  Was it during my childhood growing up?  Yes.  So was it easy for me to believe this?  Yes, it was.  Do I support lying?  No.  Do I support believing in something that is fake?  No.  Do you have to believe in Santa to support or even celebrate Christmas?  No, I don't think so and I don't plan to, if I ever "celebrate" Christmas.
7. REFLECTION on REASON #7:  Should the only day you be loving and giving be on Christmas?  No.  Does it have to be the only day you are loving and giving?  No.  Does it mean because people have made that a day of loving and giving that it is wrong?  No.  

What thoughts do you have on Christmas?  I would love to hear from you as to the arguments you have considered against the truth.  I don't promise I have the answers, I only am sharing my thoughts.  I believe in reflecting on Christ and who he was and who he is we can celebrate him on a level like nobody else!

Quotes

thoughts on fervent prayer [part 6]

This is a continuous thought from last weeks post.  

So when I am having these hard times being able to pray, I am starting to learn that I am just going to carry on a conversation with God like this:

Dear Lord, I know you say you are always with me, but I don't feel like you are. I don't see you. I don't feel you. I am hurting. I am exhausted. I don't believe you care like you have before. I don't like what is happening in my life. I don't know how to tell you what I am feeling. I am frustrated. I am discouraged. I need you! Please help me. Please give me the strength. Please help me know your plan. Please guide me. I love you with my whole heart! I know you are listening and I trust you!

I try to act like I live with God. Like he is a person I am doing a coffee or lunch date with. I make an appointment in my mind sometimes to set aside time to talk with him. There are other times that I do it when I am walking each morning or on my drive to a clients office. This doesn't mean that I always feel he is close to me or that I feel he is listening. I believe our connection to God is through a relationship. Just like our friends, the more time we spend with them, the more we feel connected. The more we know about our friends, the more we do the things they want to do with them. It is no different with God, though he is not picky like our friends! LOL!!!

What ways do you try to connect with God during those times when you feel prayer is not working?

Quotes

Who are we? We are children of God. Our potential is unlimited. Our inheritance is sacred. May we always honor that heritage — in every thought and deed.
 -Russell M. Nelson

wknd project for a friends wedding

One of my girlfriends is getting married in two weeks.  She has asked me to decorate.  She states she loves my style.  So this weekend while I dealt with the head congestion, raging sore throat, fever and fatigue, I worked on one of the pieces that will be set for the "stage" at the wedding.

I have never made one of those coffee filter wreaths, but have admired them.  My cousin did a blog post about them through her "We Can Do It Cheaper" Inspirational Posts.  You can see it here.  Mine is a bit different not just because I used a cheaper wreath, but because it is bigger and I made mine more compact.  My wreath is 18" here.



I tried to unwrap the plastic and ended up with pieces of the wreath going everywhere.  I scratched that and covered it with the coffee filters folded in half.



I began affixing the coffee filters in a line around the inside and worked outward from there towards me.



A girlfriend texted me to see if I was resting and I sent her a picture of my lap view.  Not resting but not working too hard as I sit indian style on the floor while I am house & dog sitting in Benbrook.  This view is when its almost done.  I was filling in the gaps and places that needed more "petals".



A birds eye view of the finished product now 24" and approximately 7 or so hours of work.  Gorgeous!  Absolutely gorgeous, if I may say so myself!!!



Dang, I think I wanna get married!  This is so cool!!!

Quotes

a thank you gift from the hotel

I travel weekly on business...

Love being treated like a Princess!!! My home away from home giving me a gift! LOVE my peeps who take care of me.

thoughts on fervent prayer [part 5]

Do you ever find it hard to pray?  

If you have, please know I have at times too. If you haven't, then you may not relate to my post. I have gone through spells when it seems prayer just isn't working.  I wonder, is it God? Is it Me? I mean, he is perfect, so it has got to be me, but what am I doing wrong?  Why don't I feel a connection? Why don't I feel he is listening? Why don't I feel that I am getting a response. Why when I am reading my Bible/Praying doesn't it seem to bring peace or comfort? I have even faced times when something was so difficult, so painful, so discouraging, so overwhelming that it made it hard to pray or that I couldn't pray at all about it.

I used to believe I was the only one who felt this way. That I was the one who experienced difficulty with prayer. I don't believe this anymore because of the conversations I have had with others about prayer.

Then there are times when I have forced myself through to pray and nothing changed. I didn't feel better. I didn't feel God was listening. I didn't feel He cared. Nothing changed. I believe this is a normal feeling that we face at times when our grief, sorrows, heartaches, pain, trials, etc overwhelm us. When we feel like we are sinking with no help in sight!

The christian life is a journey...we go through spells in our faith of being on top, connected to God, enriched, intune, happy, sad, distant, depressed, questioning, wondering, etc. I used to believe because of how "The Christian's" looked at me and said about people who didn't "get their act together" or were "not at peace" when I/they were facing hard times and that it was wrong for me/them to be down and discouraged, and that God looked at us the same way. Don't get me wrong, I believe there can be times when we need more faith, however if you read the Psalms, David was a man after God's own heart...How many times was he sad? How many times did he question God? David faced lots of emotions, just like we do. I believe we can do all things through Christ, but sometimes we need help knowing what we are to do.

I believe: God does care. He is always listening. Psalm 34:15 He doesn't always speak but He is listening. He knows what we don't know what to pray. Romans 8:26 Does this mean that we shouldn't pray? I don't think it does, but I also know that if we don't feel we can, God still understands.

Wow. Think about that. He still understands.

Quotes

The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today.
 -Les Brown

WOOT!!! I passed my Advanced Accounting Class!

I graduated High School December 1991 at age 15.  I have done many educational conferences and courses for work related purposes, but never a college course simply to further my education.  I decided to do this 10 week Advanced Accounting Course when I learned that you can do free courses at Coursera.  If you want it to be certified, you can pay for that (or you can skip that and not do it, like I did).  

Initially when I signed up, I thought it was going to be easy to do with my work and travel schedule.  3-7 hours of videos a week.  One weekly homework test.  A semi-final exam halfway through and a final the week of Thanksgiving.  

Ugh.  I have not done true school in 22 years.  What was I thinking?

The pressure mounted.  If I had stayed up on doing a video once daily, it wouldn't be so bad, but no, I would push it off until Friday, Saturday and Sunday, they final day my test was due each week.  It was harder than I thought.  Aspects of this course were easy to go through.  Some stuff wasn't.  The tests were nothing the curriculum we studied for during the week and the presentations by the professor.  I don't understand schools who switch their methods on you.    

One of my friends asked why I felt I needed to do this.  Didn't I think I was smart enough already?  When I explained that I knew very little about amortization and depreciation as it relates to taxes and accounting, along with the appropriate way to do line item adjustments, I felt I had lots to learn.  She laughed at me and said you have already lost me.  Awwwhhhhhhh!  My friends who don't have to work to make a living and have a husband who takes care of them.  Send a sugar daddy my way and I won't have to do school 22 years later either.

I completed the full 10 week course.  And I got word today that I passed!!!  I passed my Advanced Accounting class!!!!!!!  

No, I didn't get the score I wanted, but I passed and that is what matters, even if my Mom would not be pleased because it wasn't 100%, I am pleased that I stuck with it and I learned some things to help my clients as I interact with their CPA's.

THANK YOU to all of you who prayed for me, who encouraged me, who believed in me...you are the bestest friends in the world!  each of YOU a bunch.

textbook patient

Would you want to be a textbook patient?  If your doctor told you that's how he looked at you, what would you say?

My Acupuncturist looks at me like this.  The first time he told me I was a textbook patient, I kinda was like, what???  My back stiffened.  How dare he call me a textbook patient!  I don't wanna be a textbook patient!!!

It since has become a joke and I have accepted it.  I am.  A textbook patient.

I started Acupuncture in the quest to find a way to deal with my insomnia, hair loss, extreme fatigue, allergies, allergic reactions and rashes, along with the ongoing hormone issues that have perplexed me for years.  Dealing with a combination of symptoms, a level of complexity that is pretty high, unique reactions from herbal treatments, I have had to come to accept it, I am the textbook patient.

I realized I was fighting it.

I wanted to be "normal". I didn't want to be unique.  I didn't want to be a test.  I didn't want to be complex.  I didn't want there to not be answers.  I didn't want my symptoms to generate "the look", the statement "I haven't heard of that before", the feeling that I was strange.  I wanted help.  The first time.  I wanted a fix.

But who doesn't want answers?

Who doesn't want a fix?

I realized there were reasons I was fighting it.  

Being normal, unique, a test, complex, without answers, perplexing, strange and all that had a bad feeling.  It made me feel like I was just like my Mom.  

I fight that feeling more than you can imagine.

I had to realize that having health conditions that were valid and true symptoms doesn't make me like my Mom.  Being unique doesn't make me a match just like my Mom.  Being someone to be able to help others by being a test patient, doesn't make me like my Mom.  Being complex doesn't mean I am hypochondriac.  Being without answers doesn't mean I am hopeless.  Being perplexing doesn't mean it isn't a valid reason.  Being strange doesn't mean I am strange in the way my Mom is strange.  Just because my Mom has health issues and I have some health issues, doesn't mean I shouldn't seek help for those issues.

How many woman in the bible had the symptoms of the lady that touched the Lords robe?  We only know of one.  Was she normal?  Unique?  A test?  Complex?  Without answers?  Perplexing?  Strange?

Would I want her to feel she was normal, unique, a test, complex, without answers, perplexing, strange?

Would God want me to feel that way???

Awwwhhhhh, the peace that comes from accepting who you are.  I am a textbook patient.  I am writing my own unique story.  No need to feel like I am replica of something that has a bad taste in my mouth.  

And do you think if my Acupuncturist knew what his statement did to me, do you think he would say it???  I promise you he wouldn't, but I can promise you this, God has used it to grow me.

I am a textbook patient!  

I am proud to be normal, a Misty normal.  I am proud to be unique, God created me in his image and that is very unique.  I grateful to be a test, hopefully through all these weekly treatments and test someone else will benefit from the results.  I am complex, God made me so.  I am in search of answers, but I know God has them all and if I don't find them I know he still has them.  I am perplexing, I wasn't meant to be figured out in a day.  I am strange, I reflect the light of the one who is my maker and he he is strange because he can't be matched.

I won't resent being a textbook patient any more.

thoughts on fervent prayer [part 4]

In the changes I have made in my personal life regarding prayer, it is bleeding over into my business life.

I am not ashamed.  I am not concerned what my clients think.  I, in reality, don't care.  It is apart of my life and I am not going to leave it out of my business life!

A few months ago (June or July), I got the team of one of my clients together, asked them to pull their chairs in a circle in the middle of the room, asked them to join in hands, and then shared my heart, looking at each one of them I said, I can't share with you details of what is going on, but I need you in my life.  The challenges I am facing on a business level are beyond what I can deal with.  I need your prayers.  I want us to pray together.  I am going to start, if you want to join, I would love you to join me and add your prayer.  If you don't feel you can, I respect that. I don't want you to feel pressure, but I know you are woman of faith and I want you to be apart of my life.

I prayed.  For wisdom, for strength, for courage, for hope, for answers, for relief, for understanding, for help, for a positive outcome, for a positive team spirit, for my client to see the work we were doing, for protection from any more bad things, etc.  

It wasn't long, but it wasn't short either.

Nobody prayed after me.  This didn't surprise me.  It was the first time we did that.

However, I didn't expect each one to come to me privately at a later point in time and tell me how much that meant to them.  This blew me away.

A month ago, when a client was leaving the office, I asked the client what I could do to help him/her further, he/she looked me straight in the eyes without wavering and said, "Please pray as if your life depends on it, I need it Misty."  He/She never, never, never has talked to me like this.  I looked him/her straight in the eyes and without any hesitation said, "My life does depend on it and you have got to believe I am and I am not going to quit."

My heart swelled.  He/She knew how deep my faith meant to me.  Why?  Because he/she saw the results of it.  I was praising God that he/she would ask me to pray and would bring it up.  A win in my book with God!

Then I did something with another client recently.  Having a weekly consulting session with the board, before I left, I said I want to do something.  Being short on time and the agenda full, the client said what's that, I said, I want us to pray before I leave.  Taken a bit back, the client said okay, but don't make it long.  I was perturbed that he/she would say that, but I didn't let it stop me.  I prayed for strength, courage, wisdom in what we are working with, help for the time frame and deadlines presenting themselves, hope to be able to achieve what we need done, and guidance for me to help my client.  I didn't make it long, not just because of the clients statement, but because my message and prayer was concise.  This client added a prayer at the end of mine.  It was probably half the length of mine, but it made my day!

As I went to leave, the client said, "Misty I am so glad you did that.  You amaze me.  We need to do that more."  I responded, "Anytime you want, I am on board."

Prayer is powerful.  Fervent prayer is meaningful.  Prayer changes things.  

Don't doubt it.

Quotes

Living consciously involves being genuine; it involves listening and responding to others honestly and openly; it involves being in the moment.
 — Sidney Poitier

you believe its selfish

Today, I am going to share some thoughts on selfishness.  The post may be controversial.  It won't be the first topic I have posted that is. Nor will it be the last.  If it makes you mad, you don't agree, please know you have that option.  My post is not to convince you of anything.  It is to ask you to think and consider my thoughts.

We have been taught as a society that for someone to commit suicide that that is selfish.  I have given this some serious thought.  In reflecting I ask these questions:

Why do we believe that?  
Why are we taught this?
Why do we think that is selfish?

Life is a gift, from God.  We don't get to choose it, it is chosen for us.  So if someone is miserable and wants out, is that selfish?  

As many of you know, my brother has attempted suicide 7 times now (that I know of).  He is an unhappy guy.  He is alive, but is constantly depressed.  He is unmotivated, sad, doesn't believe he can be different, moody, feels like a failure, feels he has no potential, doesn't feel loved, lives with horrific regrets, believes he is worse than anyone else, etc.  My brother continues to make choices.  Believe me, I relate to his struggles.  I know what he is facing.  I know it is hard.  Maybe not completely as there are some things I have never experienced, like prison, but there are others I have faced exactly what he has.  Setting aside the fact that he continues to feel and believe these things and not utilize God for the strength he can give him to work through these thoughts and feelings, I ask you to consider this:  Is it not selfish of him to continue to think those things about himself when God states otherwise?

As I reflected on that question, I wondered:

Is it selfish to give your child up for adoption?  Especially when you don't feel you can give to them what they need?  Or do you think it would be better they keep the child, treat it poorly, resent it, and not give it what it needs.  Is that any less selfish?

Is it selfish to get a divorce?  Or do you think it would be better that the couple stays together, hate each other, treat each other rudely, not show love or care or respect, for the sake of the children and appearance of selfishness?

Is it selfish to look for another job?  Or do you think it would be better that you stay at the employer, do what you have always done, because God has called you to be a servant so going elsewhere wouldn't be appropriate and would only be selfish.

Is it selfish to want to better yourself?  Or do you think you should be content with who you are and just accept yourself because wanting anything differently is selfish.

Selfish = devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, welfare, etc., regardless of others

God says he remembers are frame and that we are dust.  I think that means more than we give it credit for.  God has come to give us a life of joy.  If we are not going to participate in it, is continuing to live here just because everyone says it is selfish to commit suicide not selfish in itself?  Couldn't not changing our focus be just as selfish?

I am not sure I believe anymore that to attempt suicide is "selfish", at least the way it has been portrayed to me up until now.  Yes, it is sad, but selfish, I am not sure that's the way we should look at it, anymore than the other things I asked you are selfish.  I think anything in our life can become selfish if we don't keep it in perspective, suicide is not any more or any less selfish than anything else in our lives.

I shared these thoughts recently with a friend and she was immensely concerned that I am suicidal if I were to even talk and think about such things.  I assure you, I am not.  I am however questioning the foundation of things I have been taught and trying to look at it through God's eyes.  

We are selfish creatures, everything we do is about us.  We have to learn to not be selfish, to put others first, in all areas, to reach out and love but sometimes we have to stop and take care of ourselves and that is not selfish.

dealing w/Texas Weather

Texas is one of those states that gets really bad weather, but not frequently enough for people to know how to deal with it, drive in it, prepare for it, act in it, or make the most of it.  

I have been here 16 years (as of September) and this is the worst ice storm we have ever had.

I learned weather was going to be bad when I was at a clients office this week, the one I travel to weekly.  I don't check the weather.  My mom was a volunteer California Weather Spotter.  She was obsessed with the weather.  Majorly obsessed with it.  It wasn't just a hobby, it was used to predict sickness, turned into panic, a cause for all bad moods and arguments, etc.  So consequently, I think in my quest to establish a new pattern of thinking about the weather, I found  myself never checking the weather.  I would just wake up, see what the weather was as it felt to me by peeking out the window and maybe going out on the front porch, and make a go for it.  If its a Texas day that turns really cold and I didn't plan a jacket warm enough, I don't complain, I would just deal with it.  I mean, what did they do before weathermen anyways?  I have lived.  Maybe I could utilize that little weather app on my phone a bit more, but I haven't.  Usually someone in my Facebook feed alerts me bad weather is coming.  Somehow I hear.

Living in Texas and not experiencing bad weather enough means that people go crazy when it is called for.  And if it doesn't happen, people get upset.  Its kinda strange.  There have been numerous false alarms.  It seems to sneak upon us when they least call for it.  Not this time though.

It was 78* on Thursday.  My client wanted me to leave the office early (he had suggested like 4pm) in order to avoid any issues on the roads, at the same time, I needed to have new hire paperwork, contracts, and other lengthy documents prepared and ready for a new provider starting this upcoming Monday.  I didn't get the paperwork done until 6.15pm.  Sure, I could have walked out at 4pm, but if I had, there would be no way to leave the paperwork all filled out, with stickies in the areas signatures were needed, with little notes of instruction, etc.  It would have had to wait until I was onsite later in the week.  A delay I didn't feel we could do.  I stayed and made sure I got the paperwork all done.

As I got in my car, there were ice pellets on my windshield.  It didn't take long to get things to thaw, 5 minutes or so, and I got on the road.  The roads were fine.  No slush.  Nothing freezing over.  I figured my drive home would be a piece of cake.

Wrong.  There were numerous wrecks.  People already acting crazy.  People already spinning out due to the rain.  It took 2 hours to get home.  I contemplated stopping by the grocery store to get a few items, but knew that they would be crammed, they always are before a storm.  People act like they will be snowed in for weeks.  I decided I would make use of what I had, whatever that was.  I knew it was limited as I haven't been grocery shopping in 3 plus weeks.  In my quest this year to condense belongings, this has also affected my pantry.  I don't keep the stock I used to in it, though believe me, for one person there still seems to be plenty, but never of the things I want and use most.  The drive had me frustrated.  I had wanted to watch the LIVE presentation of The Sound of Music on top of the fact we were crawling from 5-7mph for no reason, mile after mile after mile.   A friend had brought over a TV to my house so I could watch it at my house and I guess that got my hopes up that I would get to.  

I finally made it home, unloaded the car, got the mail, set up the TV, and watched the little bit of the Broadway Musical that I could, and went to bed.

I woke up Friday Morning to some thick cold ice.  It was 16* when I woke up around 9am.  Frigid for sure!!!  A 70* drop in one day!!!  Incredible.  I don't think it has ever been that cold here.  I learned later in the day we made record temperatures in history for as cold as it was.

It was hard to stay warm.  I stayed in my pj's all day, a scarf around my neck and my long wool coat on.  I am sure that I looked like a goof, but hey, nobody here to see me and I was not going to be cold.  

I spent the Friday and Saturday working, making some calls to recruiters, interviewing providers, doing accounting tasks, catching up on emails, etc.  I wanted to be lazy like everyone else, but entrepreneurship doesn't allow that.  Lots of people electricity was going out, I figured mine would at some point too, so I decided I had best make the most of it while I had it.  Though I must tell you I secretly hoped it would so I could go read and knit!

I ate the only can of tomato soup with sourdough grilled cheese sandwich.  I wanted hot chocolate, but the homemade kind is better with milk instead of water, and since I had no milk, I opted for hot tea.  There was no honey, so I had to use sugar, my least favorite.  There was one granola bar left.  I had leftover pot roast, potatoes and carrots.  I made nachos with leftover turkey.  I ate sweet potato hash browns with an egg.  The options tomorrow are going to be even less because there isn't too much left.  I am missing my fruit and veggies.  I am missing more soup options.

Mistake #1:  I should probably have gotten a few groceries, like milk, peanut butter, honey  and soup
Mistake #2:  I should have brought firewood into the house
Mistake #3:  I should have taken more time off to relax and just chill, everyone else was!!!

Today I have chilled, in my pj's again for the 3rd day, but I opted not to work.  Yes, there is paperwork galore that can be done, but I am taking the day off to chill and knit.  I couldn't locate any dry enough firewood in the stack, so I had to do without that.  I watch a church service online.  I listened to Pandora.  I wrote a few blog posts.  

It's just me and I am making it, maybe not in high style, but I will survive!  

Quotes

See where God steps in. God is faithful. He is waking with us. 
- Britt Nicole

Ice Storm 2013

Texas got a really bad Ice Storm on Thursday Evening...this is what I woke up to on Friday Morning!  At least 3-4 inches of ice and 16*

Winter Ice Storm December 2013 {Front Yard}

Winter Ice Storm December 2013 {Front Yard}

Winter Ice Storm December 2013 {Back Yard}

this is ONE of my missions

officially an author {in the works}

I attended a conference in November, over my 37th Birthday, the Michael Hyatt Platform Conference.

This is when I got the idea to buy the domain in my name, especially when I searched on my GoDaddy app and it was available!!!  I mean what sort of chance is there of that?  My name is not that unique.  

What would I use www.mistygilbert.com for?  Maybe I would purchase it just because?  Maybe I would move my blog to that from where it is?  Maybe I would use it for my book?  

I launched in and bought it November 11th.  

www.mistygilbert.com and www.mistygilbert.net

I regret that all my social media platforms aren't in this same format, but they aren't.  Without explaining to you all the details why I will tell you simply that some were with my middle initial and some were without.  I decided a few years ago to update them and make them all match and hence they all have the middle initial in them.  Facebook.  Twitter.  LinkedIn.  Pinterest.  Oh, the things you do and later regret.  Can't go back.  The plain version is taken.  Hence why I will have to be creative in my Author Facebook Page.  And I will have to brainstorm on how to make the other social media sites work now. 

One thing simple.  Other things complicated.

It has been a month since The Platform Conference and so I am moving forward with my announcement and working towards my goal of publishing my first book about my story!

I am truly in LOVE with all my fans...those who have encouraged me for years to write a book!!! 2013 is the year I began that process.  I am excited to be moving towards that one step at a time...never dreamed I would own a domain in my own name, but it's real.  I kinda have to pinch myself!  Stay tuned for updates on this process!

Thank You friends!

thoughts on fervent prayer [part 3]

So what exactly is prayer?  fervent prayer?

fervent = having or showing great warmth or intensity of spirit, feeling, enthusiasm


prayer = a devout petition to God; a spiritual communion with God as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration, or confession; a formula or sequence of words used in or appointed for praying


I believe fervent prayer is taking your own emotion, life, and circumstances and sharing that in a direct manner towards God.  Knowing that he is always listening and has his ear "burning for you", tuned in to your wave length, connected to your heart, desiring to hear from you, just as a special friend.


I believe fervent prayer is taking your own emotion, life, and circumstances and sharing that in a direct manner towards God.  Knowing that he is always listening and has his ear "burning for you", tuned in to your wave length, connected to your heart, desiring to hear from you, just as a special friend.

I am grateful I didn't miss this, even if I was 35 before it made a lick of true sense.


As I have reflected on fervent prayer, I can only say that I wish this had been a part of my life much sooner.  I wish that it had been more important to me before.  I wish I had been shown how to pray, to have more faith in prayer, to let prayer be a major part of my life. 

If you want to share with me your thoughts on fervent prayer, I would love to hear from you!


What is fervent prayer to you?  


How do you achieve this?  


How do you petition to God?  


What is communication with God?  


How do you know its fervent?

Quotes

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.
 — Danny Kaye

Quotes

Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.
- Ellen Sue Stern

why it doesn't matter

After my blog post yesterday, someone said can you tell me why you say it doesn't matter?  Don't you think how someone attempted suicide matters, what contributed to the issues, what they might do from here, why they want to even consider suicide?  

I understand this is the common thought.  I also understand we are taught to ask questions.  To try to make sense of it all.  To inquiry as to why, even when there may not be an answer to the question, we still ask, "But why?".

I hope to share more that maybe will help people understand my perspective about this.  I don't expect you to agree.  I also don't expect you to necesarily share my perspective, I simply want to help open your eyes, your heart, your mind to another view point that might help you relate to people who are hurting, who are in predicaments they never thought they would find themselves in, who are facing things that on the surface you would never see.

Terry attempted suicide 05.02.2013 or 05.03.2013 depending on when he actually swallowed the pills.  Does it matter that that was the day before/day of my parents anniversary?  

Terry took over 200 pills.  Does the quantity of pills he took change any dynamics of his attempt at suicide?  If he had taken 100 or 50, would you think that was better?  

Terry was found unresponsive, approximately 22 hours later, no medication bottles around, in his clothes, drenched in urine, his cell phone in his pocket, having burned his skin due to the reaction of urine and the battery, a wound on his head from having fallen, a note left addressed to several people [which I have never seen as it was taken by the police as evidence].  

Do any of these details make you have more compassion?  Do they make you relate more to the situation?  Do they bring you more peace?  Do they make the situation easier to bear?  Do they comfort you?  Do they bring answers?

For me, they didn't.  They provided explanation as to more of the details relating to the attempt at suicide, facts, not feelings, confirming that it was for sure deliberate, but didn't provide any direct answers to help understand this guy who was hurting.  

I kept people informed about the situation with my brother via my blog posts during the month of May 2010, but most of these specific details aren't listed there.  I didn't share them with many people either in person.  No reason other than people can't handle these types of things, they shy away from the pain and hurt that comes from learning these details, they don't know how to comfort, they only want to know to be able to share the details.  People don't know what to say or say things they shouldn't.  Many times trying to be kind they say hurtful things.  However, if I had listed them/given you all the nitty gritty details upfront or had shared them with you in person, would it have changed your perspective of my brother?  My parents?  My sister?  Me?  Would it have increased your empathy or sympathy?  Would you have been more loving?  Or would you have actually been more condemning, more judgemental, more inquisitive, more concerned, more confused, more depressed, and maybe been less loving?  Would you have given my brother more grace or less grace?  Would you have been kinder to me or been more cruel?

Do you get my point?  The details don't really matter.  Other than doctors needed to know how many and what kind of pills he took in order to help him further.  Other than the police need to put the chronological order of events together for their consolidated report.  Other than those that are close to the situation want to know what happened as they try to piece the pieces of the puzzle together, but in the end, none of those details really and truly matter.  They don't solve the problem.  It still exists.  The person attempted suicide.  They wanted out.  They were done.  They are hurting.  They are still in need of Jesus love and healing.

Having faced this, I can tell you that no matter what people say, you go through the questions in your heart and mind, replaying the last conversation you had with that person, playing what if scenarios in your head, asking yourself maybe if I had said or done this, maybe if I had listened more, maybe if I had tried to reach out more, maybe if I had whatever, you fill in the blank, this wouldn't have happened.  It is hard to accept that deep down, we all can do more, but in all likelihood would not have changed anything.  One more hug, one more I Love You, one more talk on the phone, one more power chat session, one more prayer, one more sharing a verse, one more home cooked meal, one more positive thought or word of encouragement wouldn't have been the fix at all.

This takes time to feel, believe and accept.  It takes time to get comfortable with this truth.  

Nobody can do it for you.  Everyone can see it easier than you can.  Everyone can say just "trust God".  However, it requires your own faith and trust in God.  It is your journey and you must develop that relationship with God through these tough things, and believe me when I say, it truly is in these horrific moments that the relationship grows strong.  Yes, all of us can encourage, support and help carry the burden, but ultimately, nobody can do any of this for you.  You must exercise your method and process of working out these things in your heart and mind through prayer and seeking God.  He is truly the one of ALL comfort.

thoughts on fervent prayer [part 2]

If you are just catching this thread of thoughts on prayer, feel free to read the first post here.  In order to save it from turning into a book, I have posted additional thoughts in a part 2 today...because believe it or not, I have more...  

Since that time, my prayer life has grown. 

I do not feel ashamed to ask you to pray for me.  I don't care if you understand my prayer request.  It is specific to me and if you are a prayer warrior, you will pray. 

In any situation that I feel fear, pain, sorrow, grief, confusion, frustration, anger, resentment, hurt, disbelief, overwhelmed, defeated, like a failure, unsuccessful, backed in a corner...I pray.

In any situation that I feel blessed, grateful, joyful, excited, thrilled, loved, understood, cared for, benefited, wanted, brave...I pray.

I am learning what it means to pray.  Fervently pray.  Pray without ceasing.

But I don't just ask you to pray for me.  I also ask how I can pray for you.  I want you to know that your friendship, your life, your hurts are apart of me and I will pray for you.  I will be a friend and encourage you to be encouraged by the one who gives each of us life!

sympathy in times of difficulty

It's been 3.5 years.  I still remember the experience of May 2010.  

The night I got a call that my brother attempted suicide for the 6th time. My first, first hand experience.  [This hasn't been the last time he has done this, but the only one I have been close enough to be apart of.]  I was told not to go to the hospital, but to got to bed because he was non responsive and there was nothing I could do.  I didn't argue.  I did what I was told.  I had to work the next day.  

But I didn't sleep.  My mind wandered through my childhood, through what we experienced, what my brother experienced, why he suffered, why my life was different.  My thoughts were like daggers, they shot out of nowhere.  I was restless, I didn't know what to do.  Knew my Mom & Dad would blame me.  Knew that my sister would be angry.  Knew that the days ahead were going to be beyond tough.

I had no clue how tough.

My brother was non responsive for  3 days.  I went to the ICU of the hospital before work.  I went to the ICU of the hospital during lunch.  I went to the ICU of the hospital after work.  For 4 days.  I ate on the run.  I slept on the run.  I lived on the run.  I took calls between on my drive.  I texted between tasks at work.  I cried between the times when my boss was in and out of the office.  I cried between phone calls at work.  I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do.  I prayed as if my life depended on it.  Because it did.  

When he did wake up, he was mean, ugly and hateful.  Very hateful to the point that the person who had provided him a place to live, walked out on him.  I stayed.  I talked to him.  I tried to show him I loved him and cared deeply, that I wanted the best for him.  I wasn't sure it worked.  But I was determined to give every ounce of anything I had to his success.  

This was my routine until he was moved to the mental health department/ward of the hospital and then things became more restrictive, not less.  Limited hours of visiting.  Limited people to see him.  Limited items in his possession.  Limited everything under the sun.

These memories become very vivid when someone you know and love attempts the same thing.  Is at the same hospital.  Is going through the same protocols.  Is showing the same signs and symptoms.  Is hurting.  Is wanting a way out of life.  Is discouraged.  Is questioning God.  Is condemned for their actions.  Is told things that are not true.  Is confused.  Doesn't feel there is hope. 

My heart aches.  I know what they are facing, first hand.

Reliving these memories the last few days truly is hard to put into words how quickly you can be back in a zone, remember the details, sympathize in the pain, and yet still praise God for his love, his care, the impact he makes in all the details. 

In reflecting, I am grateful for the lessons learned through this experience from the Letting Go Poem given to me by the hospital staff.  The ability to be able to listen to a hurting mother pour out her heart, her grief, her pain, her sorrow, her regret, her questions, her hope, her love, her faith in God, her belief that he will work all things for good, her desire to be different, her need for friends.  

It reminds me of how I was  able to take strength in the truth and sing "How Can I Keep From Singing" by Chris Tomlin, by myelf [solo] and a Capella [no accompiant] the following Sunday not quite a week after my brother attempted suicide, when my heart was aching and screaming for answers, when people had shallow words of comfort, when nobody could understand what I knew he was facing and why, when everyday life was truly just hard, when God was the only person I felt understood. 

It is why, when I needed to be on the road out of town to a clients office today, I choose to stay, I sat and listened.  I didn't ask questions.  It doesn't matter why her son attempted suicide.  It doesn't matter how he did it.  It doesn't matter what people think the problem is.  It doesn't matter how they think they will fix it. It doesn't matter.  None of that matters.  God is the only one who can fix it.  None of the rest matters.  When I say it doesn't matter, I mean it, it truly doesn't matter one bit.

He is hurting.  He feels life isn't worth it.  He is discouraged.  He is feeling lost.  He is doubting.  He needs encouragement.  He needs love.  He needs friends.  He needs support. He needs prayer.  He needs Jesus.

I wish people would get a clue.

You face enough of your own doubts during times like this.  You don't need other people heaping them on you.  It only drives the hurt deeper into your heart.

What could I have said different?  What could I have done different?  What did I do to contribute to this problem?   How can I help?  How can I give strength?  What will happen? If only...

What matters?  That we be the arms, the feet, the hands, the ears, the heart of God.  That we listen.  That we love.  That we show we care.  That we point to the one who is the God of all comfort.  The one who provides strength.  The one who gives hope.  The one who loves beyond all doubt.  The one who gave his life for us.  The one. And only one.  God.

I only pray that somehow I can encourage those facing this time of trial, difficulty, pain the same way.  I pray that by my experience through something I never dreamed I would face, that I can share in their pain and suffering.

It is easy to forget.  It is easy to lose heart.  It is easy to get out of focus.

God LOVES you! God cares deeply about what you are facing. He is with you, in every step of this courageous journey!

Quotes

Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
 - Dr. Ralph Gerard

Quotes

Be confident in who God thinks you are. You are awesome!!! 
- Britt Nicole

you are amazing

I love friends that help remind you of things you need to remember & know...
this was one of those for me.

thoughts on fervent prayer [part 1]

Prayer is something as a child I thought was really simply a way to Thank God for things you already knew he knew and a way to ask for things you wanted.  I didn't understand prayer to be something that was communication on the level it was meant to be with my Lord and Savior, until the last few years.  Mom & Dad would use a cliche statement "Pray about it honey." My parents never prayed with me outside of the dinner table.  I was never shown how to carry out a request for prayer, I was just told to do it.  I didn't know what that really looked like or felt like.  I never felt that my prayer life brought peace.  It was very routine, and God felt very distant.  I still prayed, but I didn't comprehend the benefit of it.

My prayer life has changed.  Dramatically since last year, specifically September 2012 when I joined a Woman's Bible Study Group.  At the end of our weekly lesson, we would go around the room asking for prayer.  This was an all new experience for me as the only way I knew of group praying was in a "church" setting.  Each week at the next lesson, the gals would followup on the prayer requests for the week before and inquire if any had been answered, if things had changed, was the prayer request still on the list, were there any others to add to the list, etc.  We had opportunities to Thank God for answered prayers and to cry harder for things that brought further grief and a desire for more fervent prayer.  Many times the prayer requests were emailed out so people could pray during the week and not forget the details of these requests.  At the end of the lesson, sometimes we would even close the time in prayer and the prayer requests would be mentioned then.  I had never experienced any of this before. 

Believe me when I say it felt strange at first.  I wasn't used to sharing my prayer life with other people, people I didn't know outside of a Woman's Bible Study Group.  I wasn't used to sharing prayer requests either, specific requests.  Sure, the big stuff everyone knows is going on in your life and that are horrific enough that they know you are facing a challenge is okay, people "know these things".  But not the things that might be bothering you in your life, maybe even something you couldn't quite put your finger on, maybe something of concern to you, or things that you felt were beyond your control or wisdom to know how to handle, maybe even small things of importance to you in my personal life but really not when you look at the big picture but still troubling, irritating, frustrating...but enough to bother someone else enough to ask them to add it to their prayer list???  No, not a chance.  

I wasn't used to people following up on my prayer requests, getting back in touch with me to let me know they prayed for me, taking the time to send me an email with the prayer request, or a text message with the prayer they prayed on my behalf.  I truly didn't feel that important.  I didn't feel my concerns needed to be brought to the attention of others and I didn't believe in my heart of hearts that they really would pray for me.  I was used to the pat on the should in passing and a statement "I will pray for you".

During my Woman's Bible Study Course, the date got set for my surgery.  Everyone knew it was a big day for me, not just because of my concerns with anesthesiology, not just because of the impact surgery was potentially to have on my health, but the fact insurance was not going to cover my surgery.  This was a HUGE deal for me.  I was facing some great fears and I needed prayers, desperately.  I requested prayers from the ladies in my Bible Study Group, and one lady asked if before I left, if I would mind, if they actually could pray with me...for me...over me.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but believe me, by now, I was all in.  I wanted prayer.  I had seen the difference prayer had made in my life in a few short weeks.  What did I have to loose to do this too?  They all stood around me and prayed with me, putting their hands on my back, my shoulders, my arm.  They wanted me to know they cared, they were connected, they were in touch with my pain.  Multiple people prayed over me before I left that day. 

In the midst of all this, I met with someone to share in some strategic business planning and this guy, never having met me before, before I left asked how he could pray for me.  I shared my impending surgery and he asked if he could pray with me before I left.  I was blown away.  There really were people out there who took prayer to a level I wasn't familiar with.

I then made myself vulnerable and emailed all my close friends asking them to fervently pray for me.  I shared why I was afraid and that I needed their prayers.  I never received response beyond "I will pray for you"...but neither did I expect them to be able to do what others had done for me.  They didn't understand prayer on this level.

Regardless, the results of all these prayers are one of the reasons I believe my surgery was such a success.  I had prayer warriors all over praying for me!!!

In December 2012, I had lunch one day with one of the ladies of my Bible Study Group and her husband at Olive Garden.  They frequent this place and knew the waiter by name and her story.  When they asked her how her day was going, she burst into tears.  She had been serving a table of about 20 senior couples and they were making her job really hard.  My friends husband, took initiative right then and said "Look me in the eyes, I am not going to close my eyes and neither are you but I am going to pray for you.  You with me?"  She nodded.  He prayed.  He prayed for her to be freed from this burden, for her to feel and know God's love for her, he prayed that these people out to bring harm would stop, that she would get assistance from other coworkers to finish out this shift so she could manage her tables, he prayed that God would still bless her with tips, he prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed for at least 4 minutes or so. 

I was in shock. I have never seen someone truly care so much about someone to actually quickly, passionately, emphatically pray with someone. 

My heart knew that my prayer life had more work to do.  I wanted to be like that!  I wanted to impact peoples lives and share in their hurt, their pain, their difficulties, their trials.  I wanted to encourage.  I wanted to support.  I wanted to show I cared.  Because I do!