I was reading a post by one of my friends called Beyond Forgiveness. The simple message the post wanted to convey is "See everyone as good but occasionally doing bad things because they are weak or don't know better".
There were three nuggets I got out of the post:
"Like me, you are looking for happiness, meaning and significance."
"I will look at your weakness with compassion not accusation."
"You have hurt me only to protect yourself, I will not take anything personally."
I can say wholeheartedly that I agree with the first nugget. This is what each of us want! This is a motivation at our very core in life. We want to be happy. We want meaning. We want significance. With ourselves. With someone. With family. With friends. With our work. With everything our lives touch. We want to matter. Each of us. Not just you, but me too!
The second nugget I found profound because we each have weaknesses. If we were to have compassion towards others weaknesses, we would not be accusatory. When we don't have compassion, we are accusatory. so the question in my mind is, what holds us back at times from having compassion? Many times to try to understand something, I delve into understanding the word more to get a clear picture.
The definition of compassion is a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. Synonyms would be commiseration, mercy, tenderness, heart, clemency. Antonyms would be mercilessness, indifference.
Wow! If I simply were to be caring, tender, "have a heart" as the term is, be different to you in your weakness there would be no feeling of accusation. You would not be condemned. You would not feel helpless. If we were to have compassion, we would help someone with their weakness, not be creating ill feelings and furthering the difficulty.
The third nugget, gripped me hard. You hurt me, simply because you want to protect yourself? How can protecting yourself, at the cost of hurting me, be good? The pain you are feeling inside is better by inflicting pain on me? What would cause someone to think that inflicting pain on someone else would alleviate their pain? In doing so, what you did only created a bigger chasm between you and me. Instead of being loving towards me when you felt like being mean? In the end you could have mended the relationship, but you felt it best to add hurt? If I could only see it this way! If I could only believe they weren't "trying to hurt me".
I will be honest, I don't and am not sure I can in some of these things I have experienced feel that way. Though I believe the statement holds some truth, I also know what I have experienced, and to think that someone who intentionally abused you as a child loves you is a hard concept to grasp. To think of those things that happen where people maliciously hurt you, knowingly with forethought, is a hard concept to grasp. It goes against every feeling in my body. It goes against every word that was said to me. It goes against every action displayed. Yes, I know now, years later, that my parents would be in prison if me and my siblings had felt we could have ever shared what was going on in our home during the time it was happening, however that is not what happened. I know this is why I have a huge flaw at taking everything personally, life was made to be "my fault". It's become part of my personality and something I have to work at not allowing to filter into my thoughts and heart. I know this nugget is going to take some work to be effective in my life, but I am determined to let it have its work in me!
Whether I see that they hurt me because they were protecting themselves or not, I need to not take it personally. I want to look at the hurt I have experienced in my life differently. I want to let it not get the best of me...simply because I want to be loving! I want to be compassionate! I want to give you happiness, meaning, and significance...just like I have in God!
I highly recommend you read the link above for yourself because there is more there then I can write in this post. Check it out and be blessed!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Does God give you more than you can bear?
The statement is made frequently: God doesn't give you more than you can bear. I have heard it frequently by people in society, not just by friends, family, people of faith and belief in God. It's become a cliche comment.
But is it true?
Auntie Con would tell me frequently, God thinks you have really strong shoulders and so He knows you can handle this. The statement was made to be of comfort and to give peace. But inside, it still made me feel frustrated and question why. It didn't bring comfort to the enormous trials, pain, and difficulties. I was weary, hadn't I faced enough in life? Didn't God believe that I loved Him? Didn't God know that my purpose was solely to serve Him and I was going to do that with my whole heart, soul and mind? Didn't God understand that I didn't need this too? The thought of me having stronger shoulders than someone else made me feel picked on. Say I did, does that make me a better person to have to deal with this trial over someone else? Did God really feel that I could handle it and someone else couldn't? Did that mean God loved me less then He loved them if they didn't faced these types of really hard times? Or that God loved me more?
It just didn't make sense. There are times I just didn't want to bear no flippin trial. I had flat out had enough!
Then I would have to remind myself. I don't get to choose my trials. God does. God is perfect. He states that all things will work together for my good, but never said that the things would be good. [Romans 8:28]
In the last year as I have taken a step back and reviewed God's Word, tried to ignore all the things I was told "it means", actually read what was inspired by Him and nobody else, reflect on the passage and correlate other bible stories, I have learned that that statement is not true. Though it is said by religious and non-religious people, it isn't true.
You are probably thinking, yes, it is. You no doubt are going to use I Corinthians 10:13 to back it up.
So give me a chance to explain.
If you could handle all of life's problems, why would there be a need for God? Why would you need His Strength?
If it wasn't more than we could bear, what would drive us to God? What would make us need His Strength?
In the verse I referenced that is commonly used, God states: No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can bear it. [II Corinthians 10:13]
God states that no trial has overtaken you? We all face the same temptations, but we all don't face the same trials. Can you get out of trials? I wish you could! You can't. God states He will not let you be tempted without a course of action that you can choose to take to make it through the temptation.
So when Jesus wept, was it because it was the situation that brought him to tears more than He could bear?
What about Joseph? All the trials he faced, were they more than he could bear?
What about Job? He left his clothes when he was tempted. He cursed God in his affliction of trials. [see addendum added at bottom of post]
What about Paul when he says...the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. [II Corinthians 1:8 NIV]
Wow. It was so much more than they could bear they wanted to die! There was no way to escape that.
I believe God gives us more than we can bear, in our strength, so that we come to Him for His strength. I believe God gives us more than we can bear, so that we develop deeper character and become like Him. When we suffer we develop endurance, which shapes our character. When our character is refined, we learn what it means to hope and anticipate God's greatness. [Romans 5:3-4 The Voice] ...because you know the testing of your faith...James 1:3 NIV, this is not a temptation of your faith, it is a test, a trial, something you have to endure. These trials are only to test your faith. [I Peter 1:7 NLT] I believe God gives us more than we can bear, so that we prune and become the tree that no matter what you do, you prosper [my abridged version of Psalm 1:3 The Voice].
I have had people argue that temptations in the Greek word is trials. I will tell you, I do not consider myself a Bible Scholar and honestly, I am not wanting to become one. I want to read God's Word as He has it written for me and trust that His Spirit will reveal himself to me. However, I am pretty confident that if God wanted it translated that way, don't you think He would have made sure that it would have been done? Don't you think if we could escape trials, we would? Either way, in temptations and in trials, I am confident that God is faithful.
If you want to read some more thoughts on the subject, read "52 Lies Heard in Church Every Sunday" by Steve McVey's, specifically Lie #20 - God Won't Put More on You Than You Can Bear. He has some interesting thoughts on the subject as well that I found interesting to reflect on.
God will give you more than YOU can bear...let Him give you strength to bear it!
[I had posted a link to this post on Facebook and was corrected by someone that Job did not ever curse God. This is correct, Job 3:1 He spoke a curse, not upon God but upon the day of his birth. - The Voice However, my thought was life got so horrible that he hated his birth, he hated his life and despised all the things that were happening to him. In essence, it all goes back to God because God created his birth...his life...and allowed the things that were happening to him. I am incorrect in this blog post to technically say that he cursed God because he didn't...yet his hearts attitude was to curse it all, which was the point I was trying to make that life becomes more than we can handle.]
But is it true?
Auntie Con would tell me frequently, God thinks you have really strong shoulders and so He knows you can handle this. The statement was made to be of comfort and to give peace. But inside, it still made me feel frustrated and question why. It didn't bring comfort to the enormous trials, pain, and difficulties. I was weary, hadn't I faced enough in life? Didn't God believe that I loved Him? Didn't God know that my purpose was solely to serve Him and I was going to do that with my whole heart, soul and mind? Didn't God understand that I didn't need this too? The thought of me having stronger shoulders than someone else made me feel picked on. Say I did, does that make me a better person to have to deal with this trial over someone else? Did God really feel that I could handle it and someone else couldn't? Did that mean God loved me less then He loved them if they didn't faced these types of really hard times? Or that God loved me more?
It just didn't make sense. There are times I just didn't want to bear no flippin trial. I had flat out had enough!
Then I would have to remind myself. I don't get to choose my trials. God does. God is perfect. He states that all things will work together for my good, but never said that the things would be good. [Romans 8:28]
In the last year as I have taken a step back and reviewed God's Word, tried to ignore all the things I was told "it means", actually read what was inspired by Him and nobody else, reflect on the passage and correlate other bible stories, I have learned that that statement is not true. Though it is said by religious and non-religious people, it isn't true.
You are probably thinking, yes, it is. You no doubt are going to use I Corinthians 10:13 to back it up.
So give me a chance to explain.
If you could handle all of life's problems, why would there be a need for God? Why would you need His Strength?
If it wasn't more than we could bear, what would drive us to God? What would make us need His Strength?
In the verse I referenced that is commonly used, God states: No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can bear it. [II Corinthians 10:13]
God states that no trial has overtaken you? We all face the same temptations, but we all don't face the same trials. Can you get out of trials? I wish you could! You can't. God states He will not let you be tempted without a course of action that you can choose to take to make it through the temptation.
So when Jesus wept, was it because it was the situation that brought him to tears more than He could bear?
What about Joseph? All the trials he faced, were they more than he could bear?
What about Job? He left his clothes when he was tempted. He cursed God in his affliction of trials. [see addendum added at bottom of post]
What about Paul when he says...the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. [II Corinthians 1:8 NIV]
Wow. It was so much more than they could bear they wanted to die! There was no way to escape that.
I believe God gives us more than we can bear, in our strength, so that we come to Him for His strength. I believe God gives us more than we can bear, so that we develop deeper character and become like Him. When we suffer we develop endurance, which shapes our character. When our character is refined, we learn what it means to hope and anticipate God's greatness. [Romans 5:3-4 The Voice] ...because you know the testing of your faith...James 1:3 NIV, this is not a temptation of your faith, it is a test, a trial, something you have to endure. These trials are only to test your faith. [I Peter 1:7 NLT] I believe God gives us more than we can bear, so that we prune and become the tree that no matter what you do, you prosper [my abridged version of Psalm 1:3 The Voice].
I have had people argue that temptations in the Greek word is trials. I will tell you, I do not consider myself a Bible Scholar and honestly, I am not wanting to become one. I want to read God's Word as He has it written for me and trust that His Spirit will reveal himself to me. However, I am pretty confident that if God wanted it translated that way, don't you think He would have made sure that it would have been done? Don't you think if we could escape trials, we would? Either way, in temptations and in trials, I am confident that God is faithful.
If you want to read some more thoughts on the subject, read "52 Lies Heard in Church Every Sunday" by Steve McVey's, specifically Lie #20 - God Won't Put More on You Than You Can Bear. He has some interesting thoughts on the subject as well that I found interesting to reflect on.
God will give you more than YOU can bear...let Him give you strength to bear it!
[I had posted a link to this post on Facebook and was corrected by someone that Job did not ever curse God. This is correct, Job 3:1 He spoke a curse, not upon God but upon the day of his birth. - The Voice However, my thought was life got so horrible that he hated his birth, he hated his life and despised all the things that were happening to him. In essence, it all goes back to God because God created his birth...his life...and allowed the things that were happening to him. I am incorrect in this blog post to technically say that he cursed God because he didn't...yet his hearts attitude was to curse it all, which was the point I was trying to make that life becomes more than we can handle.]
soar on wings...
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I love zip lining! [I have done it twice]...and this image to me makes this verse come alive!!![no...this is not me, I copied this from Proverbs 31 Ministries page, but that would be a great idea if I knew how to do such stuff]
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Friday, June 28, 2013
texts from Mom
I had not seen my Mom in 15 years until February 2013 at Dad's Memorial. For whatever reason since that time, she has decided that she wants to text me...
This started April 26th with a text "Thinking of U-hope u r fine Mom".
When I got it, I must be honest and tell you that I was a bit irritated. I have no reason to believe my Mom cares. She has done nothing to show me she cares since I left home September 1997. I have been out of her life for nearly 16 years. She suddenly thinks because I came for Dad's Memorial in February of this year that we are on terms? I decided I would respond, I would not be rude, cold or heartless. "Thanks. Physically doing much better since surgery."
4 days later she text again: "Misty Im having some hard days...Thx 4 any lv+support Mom".
I responded "Will continue to pray for you!" "Hard days physically? Missing Dad?"
No response.
Why would you ask me to pray for you and then not respond? Makes no sense.
A month later: "Prayn 4 U hop U R fine"
I responded "Having a fun lazy wknd in Missouri!"
9 days later: "Car ovrheat...repairs/$650. Cant take anymore stress. MOM"
This set me back into my childhood very quickly. Our lives were full of stress. Mom always felt she didn't deserve anything that was happening and it was always someone elses problem.
I responded "Will pray for you and ask the Lord to give you strength. He will when we rely in Him." "Life sends us challenges so that we trust God and nobody else."
She replied "Please pray 4 mercy 4 me."
I did not respond.
The next day: "My car fix THX 4 Prar MOM"
I did not respond.
10 days later: "Thinking of you...lv U Mom."
Again, I did not respond.
At this point, I was struggling with knowing what to do. I was starting to feel angry that she was invading my life, without permission, with assumption. I struggled because deep down, I would like to show my Mom the Love of God, but she refuses to see things as they are. She refuses to acknowledge what happened to us children and was done to us children by her and Dad. Dad wrote me a letter November 2012, before he passed away asking for forgiveness and a chance that his letter would help heal the hurt and wound he had caused. Mom has not done anything to acknowledge her part in our lives.
I felt that space and time was needed and prayer. Lots of prayer.
Then 11 days after all this she sent this: "Am having difficulty getting my money...may have-to sell house please pray. Mom"
This is when I knew things had gone too far. She is thinking she can just jump in my life and expect me to handle her problems. These are not my problems. She and Daddy changed the way they were living and their lifestyle from the way we were taught, bought stuff, lots of stuff they don't need, and I am not going to allow her to think everything is okay.
I responded "Mom, I am not aware of what money you are referring to since it is my understanding you got the money from the life ins policy Gma Omi had on Dad. You may need to re-evaluate your situation and sell the house and things to live. I am sure its more than you probably want for one person. Will continue to pray that you will follow the Lord. He gives and He takes away! But in all things it works for our good. There is nothing to fear. You may need to get a job to support yourself. I do not know your financial situation since I have not been in your life for nearly 16 years. I would expect that there are others closer to the situation that can advise you."
Her response "Dear Misty, Yes my disability money I am unable to hold a job-cannot possibly support myself...anyway you/family can help will be appreciated-impossible to move/sell house w/o help...please pray"
My response "Disability for what condition? I was unaware you were disabled. Are you willing to sell everything you do not need? Are you willing for people to help you achieve this? Or are you going to hold back the help?"
Her response "Im asking my family 2 help anyway they can as our Lord directs T+I need help THX" "Please be gentle it will take time, not even 6months 2 adjust2-house+everything going/if we go to fast I will die, where will u put me?+my things?4now I will have to stay here THX 4 any help"
My response "Did you and Dad make plans? Did you save money? Do you have will? What do you want? Have you asked Mindy for advise? Help? You made it very clear when I left home September 1997 that I was not welcome back. In 1994 you stated I was no longer 1st born and that Mindy & Terry have precedent over me in your estate and finances. I will pray for you Mom. The Lord will lead you and guide you. He will show you what to do. These are not my problems. You reap what you sow. Gods word is faithful. I am not sure that I am the person to help you. You have not acknowledged anything as Dad has. And until you see things according to truth you will not prosper. I love you. I want what is best for you and know that God will provide what you need. He also asks us to do our part in faith. I am not sure now is the time for you to do anything however if you are forced to because of finances God will give you strength if you ask Him for it. He loves you much and wants to supply your needs. He wants you to trust Him. He wants you to lean on Him. Nobody or anything else. I am working out of town at a clients office. I must run but will be in prayer for you and the family."
Her response "Dear Misty. Dad did not ask me 2 confess anything...if U cannot help w/o getting into the past please don't now is not the time, please forgive me for anything past Mom"
My response Dad should not be the one who decides when we need to ask for forgiveness. I have forgiven you. However a bridge cannot be repaired and a clean slate started without addressing the past. I can't ignore the past and should not be expected to. 20 years of hurt, pain, wrong doings, manipulation, control, double standards, slander, and abuse cannot be ignored. The only person who can wipe that slate clean for you is God. I am not angry. I am not bitter. I just can't let you think this can be swept over. I want the best for you!!! I want you to get the help you need. I want you to be free of all this mess. I want you to trust God and not live in fear! I want you to believe God will help you! I want you to realize that He is gonna make a way thru this dark time you are facing. I believe that Mom!!! God is gracious...full of compassion...loving...kind...and gives us more than we can deserve!!! I will be praying fervently for you!"
Her response "If I have another husband, he will decide back issues, bye 4 now all my love, Mom"
...I know many of you do not know my story, you do not know what I faced as a child and all the things I have overcome. My blog is my life, my personal life and I write about stuff to work through it and to get it out. Blogging friend, I need your prayers! This mess with my Mom in the middle of having started counseling June 3rd, is making things hard. Its pressing into a wound that has been stirred up and its creating grief. I will blog more about my thoughts later...
This started April 26th with a text "Thinking of U-hope u r fine Mom".
When I got it, I must be honest and tell you that I was a bit irritated. I have no reason to believe my Mom cares. She has done nothing to show me she cares since I left home September 1997. I have been out of her life for nearly 16 years. She suddenly thinks because I came for Dad's Memorial in February of this year that we are on terms? I decided I would respond, I would not be rude, cold or heartless. "Thanks. Physically doing much better since surgery."
4 days later she text again: "Misty Im having some hard days...Thx 4 any lv+support Mom".
I responded "Will continue to pray for you!" "Hard days physically? Missing Dad?"
No response.
Why would you ask me to pray for you and then not respond? Makes no sense.
A month later: "Prayn 4 U hop U R fine"
I responded "Having a fun lazy wknd in Missouri!"
9 days later: "Car ovrheat...repairs/$650. Cant take anymore stress. MOM"
This set me back into my childhood very quickly. Our lives were full of stress. Mom always felt she didn't deserve anything that was happening and it was always someone elses problem.
I responded "Will pray for you and ask the Lord to give you strength. He will when we rely in Him." "Life sends us challenges so that we trust God and nobody else."
She replied "Please pray 4 mercy 4 me."
I did not respond.
The next day: "My car fix THX 4 Prar MOM"
I did not respond.
10 days later: "Thinking of you...lv U Mom."
Again, I did not respond.
At this point, I was struggling with knowing what to do. I was starting to feel angry that she was invading my life, without permission, with assumption. I struggled because deep down, I would like to show my Mom the Love of God, but she refuses to see things as they are. She refuses to acknowledge what happened to us children and was done to us children by her and Dad. Dad wrote me a letter November 2012, before he passed away asking for forgiveness and a chance that his letter would help heal the hurt and wound he had caused. Mom has not done anything to acknowledge her part in our lives.
I felt that space and time was needed and prayer. Lots of prayer.
Then 11 days after all this she sent this: "Am having difficulty getting my money...may have-to sell house please pray. Mom"
This is when I knew things had gone too far. She is thinking she can just jump in my life and expect me to handle her problems. These are not my problems. She and Daddy changed the way they were living and their lifestyle from the way we were taught, bought stuff, lots of stuff they don't need, and I am not going to allow her to think everything is okay.
I responded "Mom, I am not aware of what money you are referring to since it is my understanding you got the money from the life ins policy Gma Omi had on Dad. You may need to re-evaluate your situation and sell the house and things to live. I am sure its more than you probably want for one person. Will continue to pray that you will follow the Lord. He gives and He takes away! But in all things it works for our good. There is nothing to fear. You may need to get a job to support yourself. I do not know your financial situation since I have not been in your life for nearly 16 years. I would expect that there are others closer to the situation that can advise you."
Her response "Dear Misty, Yes my disability money I am unable to hold a job-cannot possibly support myself...anyway you/family can help will be appreciated-impossible to move/sell house w/o help...please pray"
My response "Disability for what condition? I was unaware you were disabled. Are you willing to sell everything you do not need? Are you willing for people to help you achieve this? Or are you going to hold back the help?"
Her response "Im asking my family 2 help anyway they can as our Lord directs T+I need help THX" "Please be gentle it will take time, not even 6months 2 adjust2-house+everything going/if we go to fast I will die, where will u put me?+my things?4now I will have to stay here THX 4 any help"
My response "Did you and Dad make plans? Did you save money? Do you have will? What do you want? Have you asked Mindy for advise? Help? You made it very clear when I left home September 1997 that I was not welcome back. In 1994 you stated I was no longer 1st born and that Mindy & Terry have precedent over me in your estate and finances. I will pray for you Mom. The Lord will lead you and guide you. He will show you what to do. These are not my problems. You reap what you sow. Gods word is faithful. I am not sure that I am the person to help you. You have not acknowledged anything as Dad has. And until you see things according to truth you will not prosper. I love you. I want what is best for you and know that God will provide what you need. He also asks us to do our part in faith. I am not sure now is the time for you to do anything however if you are forced to because of finances God will give you strength if you ask Him for it. He loves you much and wants to supply your needs. He wants you to trust Him. He wants you to lean on Him. Nobody or anything else. I am working out of town at a clients office. I must run but will be in prayer for you and the family."
Her response "Dear Misty. Dad did not ask me 2 confess anything...if U cannot help w/o getting into the past please don't now is not the time, please forgive me for anything past Mom"
My response Dad should not be the one who decides when we need to ask for forgiveness. I have forgiven you. However a bridge cannot be repaired and a clean slate started without addressing the past. I can't ignore the past and should not be expected to. 20 years of hurt, pain, wrong doings, manipulation, control, double standards, slander, and abuse cannot be ignored. The only person who can wipe that slate clean for you is God. I am not angry. I am not bitter. I just can't let you think this can be swept over. I want the best for you!!! I want you to get the help you need. I want you to be free of all this mess. I want you to trust God and not live in fear! I want you to believe God will help you! I want you to realize that He is gonna make a way thru this dark time you are facing. I believe that Mom!!! God is gracious...full of compassion...loving...kind...and gives us more than we can deserve!!! I will be praying fervently for you!"
Her response "If I have another husband, he will decide back issues, bye 4 now all my love, Mom"
...I know many of you do not know my story, you do not know what I faced as a child and all the things I have overcome. My blog is my life, my personal life and I write about stuff to work through it and to get it out. Blogging friend, I need your prayers! This mess with my Mom in the middle of having started counseling June 3rd, is making things hard. Its pressing into a wound that has been stirred up and its creating grief. I will blog more about my thoughts later...
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
lunch w/Dr Saade
So if you are regular follower of my blog, you have been with me on this journey as I share with you things that happen in my life and the impact it has on me...you know that I am learning lots and sharing the ways God is working in my life, which includes a post this last weekend about: "You Never Know Who God Wants You to Meet".
Do you believe that God has people He wants you to meet? Do you believe that God brings people into your life for a reason? Do you believe that God orchestrates your day and allows things to align as He wants them to? Do you believe He is in both the good and the bad? Do you believe He works all things for your good? Even if it is bad? Or do you believe it is just the good that God is in? Do you believe that these people are used to help you learn lessons about God, yourself and others? Do you believe the journey brings you ways to teach you how to love? Do you believe this is all apart of your journey that nobody else gets to live?
The journey is uniquely yours. Pretty incredible, huh? Yah, when you understand that it is, it actually will empower you!
I must be honest. I have and haven't believed this. I have believed God is good, but not in everything. How could He be good in everything when I have faced so many horrific things in life? When day after day seems a downright battle. I have believed He orchestrated the sun, the earth, the moon, the stars, created Adam and Eve, created the law of gravity, etc, but I have not believed to the level of who God is. I have been learning the last year to believe in Him, as I should have been all along! He is God! When you tune into that feeling and knowing that He is God, He is in Control, and your frequency is set to learning to listen to Him, follow His leading...you will find that God will amaze you.
Dr. Saade and I had lunch yesterday. In some ways we had casual conversation that went various places and in other ways deep conversation that could have lasted all day. We discussed business, the industry we our in, decisions we have made relating to that, our personal lives, our purpose and goals in life, our relationship with God, family, church, our strengths from a Strength Finders assessment that we both have done, books we are reading, current things we are struggling with, and shared prayer requests. I won't share all that I learned about him or that I shared about me, but I will tell you that I walked away knowing God had us connect because He wanted it that way. He left a confirmation with me in my heart that he has a plan and that he is actively working His Plan. The purpose of this plan? For now, it is to know that there are other believers out there that wish to invest in your life and get to know you, show support for what you do, and want to encourage. Pretty cool, huh? Is that all the plan is? I doubt it, but I am not going to second guess God.
During conversation, after he learned some of my childhood and history, he said you don't seem like someone who would have faced these types of things, you seem so sweet. I had the opportunity to share with him that the only reason I am who I am today is because I have let God control my life. I would not be where I am today without God. Period. I either choose to allow the things that happened to me to have its perfect work, or I can become angry and bitter. It is my choice. He listened to what I said. I got the chance to tell him that I am not who I am because of any one thing I have done. I am who I am because of God. I could be like my brother, a drug addict, bipolar and on lots of medications. Or my sister who is angry at anyone, everyone, and everything associated with her "previous life". It is hard to explain to someone in a few words and sentences all you faced in 20 years of your childhood and seriously how you know you are not the child you were and yet some days you feel like you are.
He asked if I blog. I asked him personally or business? He said either. I said I do both. He said really? And then asked how often. I shared what I attempt to do each week, 3-4 posts on my personal blog and then 2-3 times a week on the business blog. He was surprised that I did both. I shared that my goal is to share nuggets, stories, quotes, information, pictures, life. It was at this point that I decided I would share with him that I blogged about his speech last Saturday and why it was good for me to hear it. I shared my takeaways and the nuggets of reminders that were important for me and the things I got out of his speech...The first nugget was the reminder that you have to be patient. I get frustrated many times with the slow progress. The second nugget was his statement that there is a difference between leaders and leading was profound. He asked me to define what I meant by that statement. I was puzzled. I said, "You are the one who made that statement on Saturday". He said, "I did? But what does it mean to you?" I replied, "I took it to mean that leading means you are directing, pulling people along, trying to draw them out, foremost purpose to guide. Leaders mean you are creating movement to get people to have ethics principals and purpose; to stand firm and encouraging them to be strong, to take courage and be dedicated." The third thing was that I want to remember that I do what I love and that it will impact lives. I can't loose focus or heart at expecting excellence and results, even when it seems all odds are against me. These were my three main nuggets. Did a part of me wonder what he would think when I said all that? Yes, of course. I have feelings just like you do of fear of how you will be received, even if I try to hide them or don't show them like some people do, they are still there. I am no different then you. I want to be liked just as much as you do. I want someone to appreciate me for who I am just as much as you do. But just like I tell others to have courage and be themselves, I have to live out my life and be me. That is exactly what the blog post was about, how I processed what I learned from the day and how I want it to impact my life. He said I made his day. Did I expect this comment? No, absolutely not. What did me sharing what I wrote about do for him? It made an impact directly back to him that what he did matters, that his speech was needed and important. Isn't that what relationships are all about? Sharpening and encouraging one another on this "courageous journey"?
We discussed God and how he is apart of our lives now and what we are learning. He shared his upbringing in relationship to this and where he is now with it. His greatest fear is that he wants God to be his not because of who he was taught he was, but because he believes it. I felt that this was an incredible desire, that each of us should have. He was open and didn't feel he couldn't tell me, a new connection, what God meant to him and what he wanted God to mean to him. It made me reflect on how easily over my life I have held back and don't share my faith with people, even people I don't know.
At the end, he asked what he could do for me and I asked him to pray that I do not get caught up in all the stress going on in my clients lives right now, that I keep my focus and remember to have patience, just as he spoke of last Saturday. I told him that I love what I do but sometimes it is difficult for it not to let these things suffocate the life out of you. Do you know what being able to share a struggle with someone you know will pray for you does to your relationship? It strengthens it. Yes, the voice in your head will tell you to keep your struggles quiet, but what benefit does that give you? None.
He then asked me for a favor, that I pray for him with regards to his belief in God as we had talked about [that could be a whole blog post in itself so you will have to forgive me for not giving the details of our complete conversation]. Because I shared a heartfelt prayer request, he was in turn able to share back. I told him I absolutely would! He asked me for one more favor, to give him feedback on his talk, things I liked and thoughts I had. How many speakers do you know that will share with you their mission and goal in life and then ask you to critique it?
You can not spend time with someone on this kind of a level and not see and feel God. It is not possible! I walked away from the time again feeling a strong feeling that God led us to meet for a reason. Exactly why, I don't know but I know that as a God who orchestrates my life according to His Plan, I am going to let Him take the lead. I pray that I may be an encouragement to him.
When I got home from our meeting, I sent him this email:
You have allowed Dr. Saade's path and mine to cross and we have connected on several levels. Please be with him and guide him in his passion to positively impact and influence others, both with patients and the community. Show him what you want him to be about in this venture, lead him to meet the people he needs to meet to interact with, help him show them you through his efforts just as I saw from his speech on Saturday. You know what he is facing in his heart and mind and how deeply he wants to come to understand you not on the terms of what he has been told you are but for his own belief. I know you understand the thoughts and intents of his heart more deeply then anyone else and only you can bridge this gap. You promise that we will know the truth and the truth will set us free. I ask you to reveal yourself to Dr. Saade and give him the foundation he needs to renew his faith, diminish the strongholds that are keeping him from being confident in your love, increase his vision and hope in you because you are God and you are in control. Help me be a friend to him and encourage him on this journey. We each have our struggles and battles but it is through remembering that you are God and there is no other that we learn to give our battles to you. For we can do all things through your strength. I ask this all on behalf of my new friend, in your dear name, for you are good, Amen!
If you haven't experienced God on this level, can I ask you to just be in tune to him, give it a try and not pull back thinking I am strange? You, along with me, will be finding out so much! Stuff about you, me, your friends, my friends and more than that, about God. He cares about all these little details in your life and He is orchestrating it. Give Him a chance to show you how!
Do you believe that God has people He wants you to meet? Do you believe that God brings people into your life for a reason? Do you believe that God orchestrates your day and allows things to align as He wants them to? Do you believe He is in both the good and the bad? Do you believe He works all things for your good? Even if it is bad? Or do you believe it is just the good that God is in? Do you believe that these people are used to help you learn lessons about God, yourself and others? Do you believe the journey brings you ways to teach you how to love? Do you believe this is all apart of your journey that nobody else gets to live?
The journey is uniquely yours. Pretty incredible, huh? Yah, when you understand that it is, it actually will empower you!
I must be honest. I have and haven't believed this. I have believed God is good, but not in everything. How could He be good in everything when I have faced so many horrific things in life? When day after day seems a downright battle. I have believed He orchestrated the sun, the earth, the moon, the stars, created Adam and Eve, created the law of gravity, etc, but I have not believed to the level of who God is. I have been learning the last year to believe in Him, as I should have been all along! He is God! When you tune into that feeling and knowing that He is God, He is in Control, and your frequency is set to learning to listen to Him, follow His leading...you will find that God will amaze you.
Dr. Saade and I had lunch yesterday. In some ways we had casual conversation that went various places and in other ways deep conversation that could have lasted all day. We discussed business, the industry we our in, decisions we have made relating to that, our personal lives, our purpose and goals in life, our relationship with God, family, church, our strengths from a Strength Finders assessment that we both have done, books we are reading, current things we are struggling with, and shared prayer requests. I won't share all that I learned about him or that I shared about me, but I will tell you that I walked away knowing God had us connect because He wanted it that way. He left a confirmation with me in my heart that he has a plan and that he is actively working His Plan. The purpose of this plan? For now, it is to know that there are other believers out there that wish to invest in your life and get to know you, show support for what you do, and want to encourage. Pretty cool, huh? Is that all the plan is? I doubt it, but I am not going to second guess God.
During conversation, after he learned some of my childhood and history, he said you don't seem like someone who would have faced these types of things, you seem so sweet. I had the opportunity to share with him that the only reason I am who I am today is because I have let God control my life. I would not be where I am today without God. Period. I either choose to allow the things that happened to me to have its perfect work, or I can become angry and bitter. It is my choice. He listened to what I said. I got the chance to tell him that I am not who I am because of any one thing I have done. I am who I am because of God. I could be like my brother, a drug addict, bipolar and on lots of medications. Or my sister who is angry at anyone, everyone, and everything associated with her "previous life". It is hard to explain to someone in a few words and sentences all you faced in 20 years of your childhood and seriously how you know you are not the child you were and yet some days you feel like you are.
He asked if I blog. I asked him personally or business? He said either. I said I do both. He said really? And then asked how often. I shared what I attempt to do each week, 3-4 posts on my personal blog and then 2-3 times a week on the business blog. He was surprised that I did both. I shared that my goal is to share nuggets, stories, quotes, information, pictures, life. It was at this point that I decided I would share with him that I blogged about his speech last Saturday and why it was good for me to hear it. I shared my takeaways and the nuggets of reminders that were important for me and the things I got out of his speech...The first nugget was the reminder that you have to be patient. I get frustrated many times with the slow progress. The second nugget was his statement that there is a difference between leaders and leading was profound. He asked me to define what I meant by that statement. I was puzzled. I said, "You are the one who made that statement on Saturday". He said, "I did? But what does it mean to you?" I replied, "I took it to mean that leading means you are directing, pulling people along, trying to draw them out, foremost purpose to guide. Leaders mean you are creating movement to get people to have ethics principals and purpose; to stand firm and encouraging them to be strong, to take courage and be dedicated." The third thing was that I want to remember that I do what I love and that it will impact lives. I can't loose focus or heart at expecting excellence and results, even when it seems all odds are against me. These were my three main nuggets. Did a part of me wonder what he would think when I said all that? Yes, of course. I have feelings just like you do of fear of how you will be received, even if I try to hide them or don't show them like some people do, they are still there. I am no different then you. I want to be liked just as much as you do. I want someone to appreciate me for who I am just as much as you do. But just like I tell others to have courage and be themselves, I have to live out my life and be me. That is exactly what the blog post was about, how I processed what I learned from the day and how I want it to impact my life. He said I made his day. Did I expect this comment? No, absolutely not. What did me sharing what I wrote about do for him? It made an impact directly back to him that what he did matters, that his speech was needed and important. Isn't that what relationships are all about? Sharpening and encouraging one another on this "courageous journey"?
We discussed God and how he is apart of our lives now and what we are learning. He shared his upbringing in relationship to this and where he is now with it. His greatest fear is that he wants God to be his not because of who he was taught he was, but because he believes it. I felt that this was an incredible desire, that each of us should have. He was open and didn't feel he couldn't tell me, a new connection, what God meant to him and what he wanted God to mean to him. It made me reflect on how easily over my life I have held back and don't share my faith with people, even people I don't know.
At the end, he asked what he could do for me and I asked him to pray that I do not get caught up in all the stress going on in my clients lives right now, that I keep my focus and remember to have patience, just as he spoke of last Saturday. I told him that I love what I do but sometimes it is difficult for it not to let these things suffocate the life out of you. Do you know what being able to share a struggle with someone you know will pray for you does to your relationship? It strengthens it. Yes, the voice in your head will tell you to keep your struggles quiet, but what benefit does that give you? None.
He then asked me for a favor, that I pray for him with regards to his belief in God as we had talked about [that could be a whole blog post in itself so you will have to forgive me for not giving the details of our complete conversation]. Because I shared a heartfelt prayer request, he was in turn able to share back. I told him I absolutely would! He asked me for one more favor, to give him feedback on his talk, things I liked and thoughts I had. How many speakers do you know that will share with you their mission and goal in life and then ask you to critique it?
You can not spend time with someone on this kind of a level and not see and feel God. It is not possible! I walked away from the time again feeling a strong feeling that God led us to meet for a reason. Exactly why, I don't know but I know that as a God who orchestrates my life according to His Plan, I am going to let Him take the lead. I pray that I may be an encouragement to him.
When I got home from our meeting, I sent him this email:
Dear God,
You have allowed Dr. Saade's path and mine to cross and we have connected on several levels. Please be with him and guide him in his passion to positively impact and influence others, both with patients and the community. Show him what you want him to be about in this venture, lead him to meet the people he needs to meet to interact with, help him show them you through his efforts just as I saw from his speech on Saturday. You know what he is facing in his heart and mind and how deeply he wants to come to understand you not on the terms of what he has been told you are but for his own belief. I know you understand the thoughts and intents of his heart more deeply then anyone else and only you can bridge this gap. You promise that we will know the truth and the truth will set us free. I ask you to reveal yourself to Dr. Saade and give him the foundation he needs to renew his faith, diminish the strongholds that are keeping him from being confident in your love, increase his vision and hope in you because you are God and you are in control. Help me be a friend to him and encourage him on this journey. We each have our struggles and battles but it is through remembering that you are God and there is no other that we learn to give our battles to you. For we can do all things through your strength. I ask this all on behalf of my new friend, in your dear name, for you are good, Amen!
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
do you believe with God ALL things are possible?
Do you believe that with God all things are possible?
Really believe it?
IF you believe it, do you let it impact your life?
Every step of your journey?
So if you saw this on someone's truck, would you believe they believe this? Or would you pass it off as a good saying, something you wished were true?
I participate in several networking forums, some online and some that meet in person. A post was put out the end of last week that if anyone wanted to donate brand new air conditioners this company would install them for free to people in need, elderly who don't have air conditioning, and for those who couldn't afford one before the summer heat got too intense. I commented and replied via email for more information. I followed through and met Tim Love, the owner of Metro Scissors Lift Service's, at Home Depot yesterday and purchased 4 units. Tim shared with me his faith, why he has a passion to serve and what how he believes that with God all things are possible. He is walking out what he believes with everything he owns...with every part of his life.
After our purchase, I walked out to his truck with him...this is what I saw (which he had posted on Facebook earlier that day). It isn't some fancy saying he is proud of. It is the core of who he believes God is! It is how he is living his life. Even after a week of no work, he is serving other people and is not complaining. He believes with God ALL THINGS are possible.
Do you?
Monday, June 24, 2013
Counseling Session #4
I learned in telling my story the following about myself:
- There was no consistency in my childhood.
- I desired to create a structured environment.
- There was a constant struggle to find where I fit.
- Always had a push/pull message.
- I learned to accept it because I didn't have any other options.
Also learned:
- Tramatic events can change the structure of our brains.
- Stressful situations that occur now and how we react to them is what we tend to go back to.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
you never know who God wants you to meet
In my journey this last year, I am finding that God is very much ALIVE. His Word says that He is, but I was led to believe that He was only alive in the people in my circle. The people who fellowshipped as I did. The people who believed as I did. If they weren't attending where I/We went, did not walk in the faith and truth I/We saw, then they really didn't "have the truth" and consequently, really didn't love God because otherwise they would see things as I/We saw them.
But God is everywhere!!! When you are in tune with Him, you will be amazed at how He shows himself! I am frequently reminded of this, nearly if not literally every day. It blows me away.
Today was my monthly AAPC Class [American Academy of Professional Coders]. I have been a member and attended since 2010 when I lost my job and decided to put forth more effort to make connections with others out in the Medical Field, perform speaking engagements to educate people and share information from my years of experience and knowledge that doesn't get relayed to help people navigate the industry, create strategic business partners to refer to and work with, develop an online presence for my business, and make sure that I continued to learn more about my industry. I am not a certified professional coder, but I choose to attend their monthly meetings and learn what I can from the speakers. This was one way that I felt I should spend my time, energy and money. I was a guest speaker January 2012 and spoke on Credentialing at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter. Last month, I was a participant and hosted a Round Table Discussion and Learning Event at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter on Medical Billing. It has provided me many opportunities to make other connections and to meet some really nice people.
I was sort of dreading going to class today because it was "on a Saturday" and I have so much that needs to get done right now and in many ways, am stressing about all the projects. I felt that my day was going to be totally shot by the time I had to leave for class, attending a longer than normal class session, and then get home early to mid afternoon. I also knew that I wanted to spend a little bit of time out in the pool and that to achieve some work and not have the day utterly spent, I was going to have to stay focused and be motivated. I contemplated skipping out on the class today...more than once. In the end, I went, and was frustrated because in route, I35 north had construction and I wasn't making good time. Then on I30 west, it was traffic due to both an event and construction. I arrived 20 minutes late. And then, the room that the email blast provided as to where the class was going to be held, it was not in that room. I get very peeved with myself when I am late, even if it is nobody's fault but my own, I still do it. I chided myself and said I should have just stayed home. I pretty much was dragging myself into class.
The speaker today was Dr. Walid Saade, a local doctor in the Fort Worth area, speaking on Leadership. I needed to hear what he had to say. It wasn't that his material was new to me. If you know me well, you know I have attended several leadership seminars and conferences over the last few years. Additionally, I follow several leadership speakers blogs, listen to leadership podcasts, have a bookcase full of material produced by many well known authors that I am continually reading and re-reading.
I don't know if the class got started on time or not...the guy in front of me [who I later learned was his brother] was videoing on his iPhone and when I noticed this a few minutes after sitting down, it was at 11 minutes. Doesn't mean he started it at the beginning, but in all likelihood, I probably didn't miss too much. He shared a story of a patient who was having health issues because of her amount of alcohol intake. He shared that he told her that he would love her anyway and be her doctor even if she continued to drink the amount she was drinking. He shared that she was killed in a car wreck, but it wasn't due to drinking. She had quit after he shared with her his story, why he was concerned about her and what he had seen in other patients. He shared a poem that he wrote about her and that was read at her funeral.
It wasn't what he said or how he said it, it was the message of love, service and care. It was the simple fact that he was living out what he believed, not just in his talk but in his walk. It was the fact that God used him in my life today as he quoted scripture without referencing the bible, yet clearly speaking of biblical principals, and sharing the truth that makes each of us successful.
But today, I needed to be reminded even beyond that why leadership matters. I needed to be reminded that it takes time, lots of time. You have to be patient. I needed to remember that leaders love people. They impact lives. They lead with ethics, principals, and purpose. They have a vision and stay focused. The essence of leadership is character. Leadership is your ability to boldly move your team forward, not for your benefit but for theirs, with a commitment to excellence and results. I needed to be reminded that to be a leader, you have to aspire to lead.
Why? Because in the midst of the drama in various organizations, attitudes in team members at clients offices, facing extreme exhaustion due to the extra hours having to be put in to achieve results, the overwhelming amount of deadlines and intense projects on my plate, the stressful circumstances these situations are creating, the results of counseling and working through my past, the daily grind that is wearing me down; I was wearing thin in my passion for what I do...why I do it...and how to keep on doing it. I needed today. God knew I needed today. He sent Dr. Saade to provide me the reminders why leadership is important and the difference between leading and leaders.
But it doesn't stop there. God had more for me.
I went to Thank Dr. Saade. I let him know that I appreciate him taking the time to share thoughts. He thanked me for thanking him. He then asked me what I do. I wasn't there to sell myself, I was in a student mode, learning mode, and a heart of gratitude, so I pretty much just brushed him off and told him he could have my business card if he wanted my contact information. I ignored his question and went on to ask if he had attended various leadership events and seminars I had. He was amazed when he learned that we had read a lot of the same books, attended a lot of the same conferences, and our desire was the same. He told me he wanted to do lunch and talk more. He stated he wants to go with me to one of the next leadership events. He asked me again what I did and I realized I couldn't be rude, I had to answer and so I told him I was the owner of a Medical Billing Agency that provides Medical Billing, Training, Accounting and Credentialing Services. He then was impressed and said we seriously need to talk. He said, I am going to text you right now so that you have my phone number. Let me know what your schedule is like as I want to do lunch in the next week or two.
I am not one to get too excited about these types of things because I have been given so much fluff and hot air by people who make promises that I hate to get my hopes up. Not that I thought he was a man that wouldn't keep his word, he didn't strike me like that after his two hour talk. I just was guarded because of the number of times people make promises and don't keep them, especially in my industry. On top of the fact, what doctor texts you his personal cell phone? They typically keep this private.
When I got home I texted him a few dates that I would be available to meet and talk. I then spent some time and looked him up on line. He is a Family Medicine Doctor and the COO of a local major urgent care facility with multiple locations in the DFW Area. He also has a website for his leadership program, Aspire to Lead [you can read and subscribe here at www.aspiretolead.net]. This connection was God given and it is for a reason. I believe it will be more than just to light a fire in me again for the passion at what I do. I believe God has a plan. More of a plan and He will reveal it in His time.
These types of "God Stories" only make me wish I had seen God working in my life before as I do now. I wish I had been in tune to His ways. I wish I had not second guessed myself about how He leads. I wish I had believed that He is Alive as I believe and see Him Alive now!
But God is everywhere!!! When you are in tune with Him, you will be amazed at how He shows himself! I am frequently reminded of this, nearly if not literally every day. It blows me away.
Today was my monthly AAPC Class [American Academy of Professional Coders]. I have been a member and attended since 2010 when I lost my job and decided to put forth more effort to make connections with others out in the Medical Field, perform speaking engagements to educate people and share information from my years of experience and knowledge that doesn't get relayed to help people navigate the industry, create strategic business partners to refer to and work with, develop an online presence for my business, and make sure that I continued to learn more about my industry. I am not a certified professional coder, but I choose to attend their monthly meetings and learn what I can from the speakers. This was one way that I felt I should spend my time, energy and money. I was a guest speaker January 2012 and spoke on Credentialing at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter. Last month, I was a participant and hosted a Round Table Discussion and Learning Event at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter on Medical Billing. It has provided me many opportunities to make other connections and to meet some really nice people.
I was sort of dreading going to class today because it was "on a Saturday" and I have so much that needs to get done right now and in many ways, am stressing about all the projects. I felt that my day was going to be totally shot by the time I had to leave for class, attending a longer than normal class session, and then get home early to mid afternoon. I also knew that I wanted to spend a little bit of time out in the pool and that to achieve some work and not have the day utterly spent, I was going to have to stay focused and be motivated. I contemplated skipping out on the class today...more than once. In the end, I went, and was frustrated because in route, I35 north had construction and I wasn't making good time. Then on I30 west, it was traffic due to both an event and construction. I arrived 20 minutes late. And then, the room that the email blast provided as to where the class was going to be held, it was not in that room. I get very peeved with myself when I am late, even if it is nobody's fault but my own, I still do it. I chided myself and said I should have just stayed home. I pretty much was dragging myself into class.
The speaker today was Dr. Walid Saade, a local doctor in the Fort Worth area, speaking on Leadership. I needed to hear what he had to say. It wasn't that his material was new to me. If you know me well, you know I have attended several leadership seminars and conferences over the last few years. Additionally, I follow several leadership speakers blogs, listen to leadership podcasts, have a bookcase full of material produced by many well known authors that I am continually reading and re-reading.
I don't know if the class got started on time or not...the guy in front of me [who I later learned was his brother] was videoing on his iPhone and when I noticed this a few minutes after sitting down, it was at 11 minutes. Doesn't mean he started it at the beginning, but in all likelihood, I probably didn't miss too much. He shared a story of a patient who was having health issues because of her amount of alcohol intake. He shared that he told her that he would love her anyway and be her doctor even if she continued to drink the amount she was drinking. He shared that she was killed in a car wreck, but it wasn't due to drinking. She had quit after he shared with her his story, why he was concerned about her and what he had seen in other patients. He shared a poem that he wrote about her and that was read at her funeral.
It wasn't what he said or how he said it, it was the message of love, service and care. It was the simple fact that he was living out what he believed, not just in his talk but in his walk. It was the fact that God used him in my life today as he quoted scripture without referencing the bible, yet clearly speaking of biblical principals, and sharing the truth that makes each of us successful.
But today, I needed to be reminded even beyond that why leadership matters. I needed to be reminded that it takes time, lots of time. You have to be patient. I needed to remember that leaders love people. They impact lives. They lead with ethics, principals, and purpose. They have a vision and stay focused. The essence of leadership is character. Leadership is your ability to boldly move your team forward, not for your benefit but for theirs, with a commitment to excellence and results. I needed to be reminded that to be a leader, you have to aspire to lead.
Why? Because in the midst of the drama in various organizations, attitudes in team members at clients offices, facing extreme exhaustion due to the extra hours having to be put in to achieve results, the overwhelming amount of deadlines and intense projects on my plate, the stressful circumstances these situations are creating, the results of counseling and working through my past, the daily grind that is wearing me down; I was wearing thin in my passion for what I do...why I do it...and how to keep on doing it. I needed today. God knew I needed today. He sent Dr. Saade to provide me the reminders why leadership is important and the difference between leading and leaders.
But it doesn't stop there. God had more for me.
I went to Thank Dr. Saade. I let him know that I appreciate him taking the time to share thoughts. He thanked me for thanking him. He then asked me what I do. I wasn't there to sell myself, I was in a student mode, learning mode, and a heart of gratitude, so I pretty much just brushed him off and told him he could have my business card if he wanted my contact information. I ignored his question and went on to ask if he had attended various leadership events and seminars I had. He was amazed when he learned that we had read a lot of the same books, attended a lot of the same conferences, and our desire was the same. He told me he wanted to do lunch and talk more. He stated he wants to go with me to one of the next leadership events. He asked me again what I did and I realized I couldn't be rude, I had to answer and so I told him I was the owner of a Medical Billing Agency that provides Medical Billing, Training, Accounting and Credentialing Services. He then was impressed and said we seriously need to talk. He said, I am going to text you right now so that you have my phone number. Let me know what your schedule is like as I want to do lunch in the next week or two.
I am not one to get too excited about these types of things because I have been given so much fluff and hot air by people who make promises that I hate to get my hopes up. Not that I thought he was a man that wouldn't keep his word, he didn't strike me like that after his two hour talk. I just was guarded because of the number of times people make promises and don't keep them, especially in my industry. On top of the fact, what doctor texts you his personal cell phone? They typically keep this private.
When I got home I texted him a few dates that I would be available to meet and talk. I then spent some time and looked him up on line. He is a Family Medicine Doctor and the COO of a local major urgent care facility with multiple locations in the DFW Area. He also has a website for his leadership program, Aspire to Lead [you can read and subscribe here at www.aspiretolead.net]. This connection was God given and it is for a reason. I believe it will be more than just to light a fire in me again for the passion at what I do. I believe God has a plan. More of a plan and He will reveal it in His time.
These types of "God Stories" only make me wish I had seen God working in my life before as I do now. I wish I had been in tune to His ways. I wish I had not second guessed myself about how He leads. I wish I had believed that He is Alive as I believe and see Him Alive now!
Friday, June 21, 2013
Quotes
If you don't know God, there is no flavor in your life, no certainty in your death, and you really won't know success.
- Dave Ramsey
- Dave Ramsey
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Quotes
"When we live under the grace of God, we experience freedom and life unlike anything else. Live it, teach it, and help others understand it."
- Roger Fankhauser
- Roger Fankhauser
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Counseling Session #3
I learned:
- grief = temporary insanity
- normal for me was to suck it up, deal with it, stuff it, just operate
- must give myself permission to feel [you are not different then anyone else, be human, have a biblical definition of emotions]
- read a Psalm a day to reveal those real emotions [He gives, He takes away, God is still good.]
- Let yourself grieve. Give time/set aside time to grieve. [Journal, Pray, Scream/Yell, Run]
a lesson to be learned from someone else
I had a meeting scheduled with a local DME Business Owner for coffee at Starbucks. I obtained the connection through a guy who connected with me through LinkedIn and felt that the he could provide a connection for the two of us and that we would be good strategic business partners.
As it has been a lot for me lately, I feel extreme pressure, overwhelming sense of being behind in my work, alarmed that I feel like I am going in circles and not making progress on some stuff, feeling like I am drowning and not even swimming upstream let alone floating downstream, challenged beyond words to keep up with all that is happening with my clients, with little time to rejuvenate me or tend to the needs of my own business and household. I left the house for this appointment knowing that I was not feeling "in the mood" for this social interaction relating to business. Not because I truly didn't want to meet this lady, but because I felt I was taking out precious time that was needed to be spent on other critical things on my plate, yet this appointment had been booked nearly a month previously and I was not going to cancel. Yet at the same time, I wanted to go as I wanted the opportunity to thank her for something she did for me a month ago.
You see, on Tuesday, May 21st, Lorena called to introduce herself to me. I was having one of those awful days. You know when nothing goes right? I was scheduled to be a host of a Round Table Discussion and Learning Event that evening at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter and I had not prepared much in advance. It was about 11.30am in the morning and my internet was intermittent. My eFax was down and I couldn't get the necessary information I needed to process the data. A tornado watch was issued and supposed to be in effect until 4-5pm. I was in tears. How was I going to get my needed data and be ready in time for this event at 6pm? I was beyond stressed. In the midst of this, this lady calls me. She asked if it was a good time to talk. I am not one to ever tell someone no. I will always tell you yes, even if truly is not a good time. This time though, I was so thoroughly bent out of shape and decided that I would be honest and tell her that no, it was not a good time. She said she understood and would call me in a few days. Not 10 minutes after we hung up, I go this from her:
I was blown away! This lady had never met me. She didn't know I was a Christian and believed in God. She didn't know that I am normally not this frustrated, frazzled and stressed out. She didn't know my circumstances or situation, yet you know what she did? She showed me God. She showed me love. She was caring and thoughtful. She brought me peace. She didn't just pat my shoulder and say "I will pray for you". She stopped right then and there and prayed for me and sent me the prayer to let me know she did so. It brought extreme peace to my troubled soul. It brought focus to the situation and a perspective that I was missing being all caught up in the moment. Since September 2012 when I started a Woman's Bible Study Group, I have met more people who have faith that is ALIVE and REAL and who are not afraid to live it out before you. They want you to know and have confidence in the God they believe in. They walk out their faith daily, with complete strangers. This is not the experience I have had with believers previously. I have people who grab my hands and pray with me right at that moment, not who just say "I will pray for you" in a sorry, sad, sympathetic tone. They believe in the power of prayer and it brings strength and hope to their voice.
So today I was scheduled to meet Lorena. She was very kind, she shared with me her story. A personal story of how she began her business, what she went through in a legal lawsuit over the non compete territory and clause after leaving her previous employer, how it dragged on for two years, how she lost everything, and how she was treated by connections, coworkers and people in the community. She shared with me how she did the right thing because it was the right thing to do, not because she wouldn't have preferred to deal revenge instead. She shared stories of how she turned the other cheek because she knew God was in control. She has since had the opportunity to be loving and gracious to people who threw her under the bus. People who mocked her, treated her coldly, who assumed the worst and made up information about her. She described how she had to treat them when in their presence before the legal battle was over and the truth of the matter was known, she was kind anyways.
Wow.
We shared industry stories, business experiences, challenges and struggles. She learned of things I do to help my clients and I learned of a way that I may be able to help her too. She in turn wants to help me locate another team member to add to my team to replace the one that quit recently and is being giving back. Giving without seeing results. Giving with no strings attached. Giving because she simple wants to see me succeed.
Why did God have me meet her?
Because I believe He wants to send me a clear message. He wants to show me His Love through His People. He wants me to believe that He is in people that I work with. He is ALIVE. He knows my needs. He will provide. He will send people to encourage you with their stories and inspire you to do the same and turn the other cheek. There are probably other reasons, but those are the ones I think of.
I stand amazed at my God!
As it has been a lot for me lately, I feel extreme pressure, overwhelming sense of being behind in my work, alarmed that I feel like I am going in circles and not making progress on some stuff, feeling like I am drowning and not even swimming upstream let alone floating downstream, challenged beyond words to keep up with all that is happening with my clients, with little time to rejuvenate me or tend to the needs of my own business and household. I left the house for this appointment knowing that I was not feeling "in the mood" for this social interaction relating to business. Not because I truly didn't want to meet this lady, but because I felt I was taking out precious time that was needed to be spent on other critical things on my plate, yet this appointment had been booked nearly a month previously and I was not going to cancel. Yet at the same time, I wanted to go as I wanted the opportunity to thank her for something she did for me a month ago.
You see, on Tuesday, May 21st, Lorena called to introduce herself to me. I was having one of those awful days. You know when nothing goes right? I was scheduled to be a host of a Round Table Discussion and Learning Event that evening at the AAPC Fort Worth Chapter and I had not prepared much in advance. It was about 11.30am in the morning and my internet was intermittent. My eFax was down and I couldn't get the necessary information I needed to process the data. A tornado watch was issued and supposed to be in effect until 4-5pm. I was in tears. How was I going to get my needed data and be ready in time for this event at 6pm? I was beyond stressed. In the midst of this, this lady calls me. She asked if it was a good time to talk. I am not one to ever tell someone no. I will always tell you yes, even if truly is not a good time. This time though, I was so thoroughly bent out of shape and decided that I would be honest and tell her that no, it was not a good time. She said she understood and would call me in a few days. Not 10 minutes after we hung up, I go this from her:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I pray that you watch over Misty and her current situation. Show her that this obstacle is just to encourage her to be a better speaker and show her the opportunities that are around her. Show her that you have a hand in all that we do. I pray for a profitable company and a calm to come to her heart and soul Father. Be with her today as she prepares for this speech that she touches those around her and that you allow those to see the confidence in her skills.
Thank you so much for being who you are Lord the provider for all of us.
AMEN!!!
I was blown away! This lady had never met me. She didn't know I was a Christian and believed in God. She didn't know that I am normally not this frustrated, frazzled and stressed out. She didn't know my circumstances or situation, yet you know what she did? She showed me God. She showed me love. She was caring and thoughtful. She brought me peace. She didn't just pat my shoulder and say "I will pray for you". She stopped right then and there and prayed for me and sent me the prayer to let me know she did so. It brought extreme peace to my troubled soul. It brought focus to the situation and a perspective that I was missing being all caught up in the moment. Since September 2012 when I started a Woman's Bible Study Group, I have met more people who have faith that is ALIVE and REAL and who are not afraid to live it out before you. They want you to know and have confidence in the God they believe in. They walk out their faith daily, with complete strangers. This is not the experience I have had with believers previously. I have people who grab my hands and pray with me right at that moment, not who just say "I will pray for you" in a sorry, sad, sympathetic tone. They believe in the power of prayer and it brings strength and hope to their voice.
So today I was scheduled to meet Lorena. She was very kind, she shared with me her story. A personal story of how she began her business, what she went through in a legal lawsuit over the non compete territory and clause after leaving her previous employer, how it dragged on for two years, how she lost everything, and how she was treated by connections, coworkers and people in the community. She shared with me how she did the right thing because it was the right thing to do, not because she wouldn't have preferred to deal revenge instead. She shared stories of how she turned the other cheek because she knew God was in control. She has since had the opportunity to be loving and gracious to people who threw her under the bus. People who mocked her, treated her coldly, who assumed the worst and made up information about her. She described how she had to treat them when in their presence before the legal battle was over and the truth of the matter was known, she was kind anyways.
Wow.
We shared industry stories, business experiences, challenges and struggles. She learned of things I do to help my clients and I learned of a way that I may be able to help her too. She in turn wants to help me locate another team member to add to my team to replace the one that quit recently and is being giving back. Giving without seeing results. Giving with no strings attached. Giving because she simple wants to see me succeed.
Why did God have me meet her?
Because I believe He wants to send me a clear message. He wants to show me His Love through His People. He wants me to believe that He is in people that I work with. He is ALIVE. He knows my needs. He will provide. He will send people to encourage you with their stories and inspire you to do the same and turn the other cheek. There are probably other reasons, but those are the ones I think of.
I stand amazed at my God!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Quotes
Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.
- N. David Walsch
Sunday, June 16, 2013
no condemnation
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
- Romans 8:1
What does this mean? No Condemnation? I think sometimes we hurry through simply verses that have a lot of meaning. That really if we thought about the words, the message of what those words mean, if we lived them out, we wouldn't feel the things we feel.
Me included.
If you are IN Christ Jesus, you have no condemnation. How can you be "in" Christ Jesus?
When He is in You...You are In Him.
No condemnation =
- Romans 8:1
What does this mean? No Condemnation? I think sometimes we hurry through simply verses that have a lot of meaning. That really if we thought about the words, the message of what those words mean, if we lived them out, we wouldn't feel the things we feel.
Me included.
If you are IN Christ Jesus, you have no condemnation. How can you be "in" Christ Jesus?
When He is in You...You are In Him.
No condemnation =
- It means there is no blame.
- It means there can be no adverse judgement on you.
- There can be no disapproval of you.
- It means you are liberated.
- You are exonerated.
- You are released.
- You are discharged.
- You are free.
- It means you are made clear.
- There is no guilt.
- There is no sentence for you.
- No punishment.
- You are fit.
If you have feelings that you are blamed, judged, disapproved, imprisoned, bound, discolored, defective, blemished, obscured, guilty, sentenced, penalized, punished, unfit...these are not in or of Christ Jesus.
So therefore who are they in? These are the characteristics of those who are NOT in Christ Jesus. God did not come to condemn the world. The world isn't Christians. It is everyone. So if God didn't condemn the world, why do you condemn others, or even yourself? Since I am in Him and cannot be condemned, why is there condemnation for me? There isn't. Not by God. There especially shouldn't be any condemnation by God's people who are in Him. Those who are not in God do not know or understand the concept of no condemnation so I would expect they would have condemnation because they don't understand it. But those who are in God should understand no condemnation, because they KNOW they are not condemned. It is really simple, if you are IN Him, you have no condemnation. None. If you have no condemnation how can you put condemnation on someone else?
God came for you to be...
So therefore who are they in? These are the characteristics of those who are NOT in Christ Jesus. God did not come to condemn the world. The world isn't Christians. It is everyone. So if God didn't condemn the world, why do you condemn others, or even yourself? Since I am in Him and cannot be condemned, why is there condemnation for me? There isn't. Not by God. There especially shouldn't be any condemnation by God's people who are in Him. Those who are not in God do not know or understand the concept of no condemnation so I would expect they would have condemnation because they don't understand it. But those who are in God should understand no condemnation, because they KNOW they are not condemned. It is really simple, if you are IN Him, you have no condemnation. None. If you have no condemnation how can you put condemnation on someone else?
God came for you to be...
- Blameless.
- Without judgement.
- Approved.
- Liberated.
- Exonerated.
- Released.
- Discharged.
- Free.
- Clear.
- Guiltless.
- Without sentence.
- Without punishment.
- Fit.
I challenge you to make your own list, as I did. In Jesus Christ...you have NO CONDEMNATION! You are approved and completely free.
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